[Rajarajeshwari_Kalpataru] swayamvara - Reply for Manoj.(small clairification)

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Dear Brother and Babithama,

 

Swayamvara does not belong to gandharva type of marriage.

It is a class of it's own.

 

Manu smirti says only 8 types of marriage but

 

there are actually 9 types of marriage

 

 

Nine Types Of Marriages in India

 

In ancient India , nine kinds of marriages were known to exist. While some types were more common, others were practiced only by a particular class.Swayamvara: This was marriage by self choice. The practice of Swayamvara was most prevalent among the Kshatriya families, in ancient India. When a princess became eligible for marriage, all the princes and kings of friendly countries were invited to the ceremony. When the princess appeared, carrying the jayamala (garland of flowers), they were introduced to her, one by one. The princess could choose any one of them as her husband. Sometimes, the bride placed a condition. A difficult task had to be performed to win her hand. Thus, Arjun had to pierce the eye of a fish fixed to a rotating wheel, with an arrow. But he was required to take the aim by looking at its reflection in a vessel filled with water.Gandharva: When two persons married for love, it was called Gandharva marriage. Dushyanta, a brave king of

the Kuru clan, married Shakuntala, daughter of sage Kanva, in this manner. He met Shakuntala in Kanva's ashram (hermitage) and fell in love with her. As Kanva was away and the king could not stay away from his Capital for long, the couple decided to marry by mutual consent.Normally done with no rittuals but the five elements as the 'saakshi'Brahma: The bride was gifted to the groom in marriage. Pandu, the brave prince of the Kuru clan, once helped the king of Madra to fight an enemy. Impressed by Pandu's bravery, the king gifted his daughter, Madri, in marriage. Madri later gave birth to Nakul and Sahadev, two of the famous Pandava brothers.Prajapatya: When a person married for the performance of sacred religious duties, it was called Prajapatya marriage. The wife's presence is necessary when a Hindu householder performs any religious duty. When Ram planned to perform the Ashvamedh

sacrifice, he was asked by the priests to marry a second time as he had abandoned his wife, Sita. However, Ram still loved his wife and refused to marry a second time. He made a golden image of Sita and fulfilled the religious duties.Daiva: A person who performed fire sacrifice gave away his daughter in marriage to the sacrificing priest. Sukanya, a princess, was married to sage Chyavan, in this way. Chyavan is credited with the invention of Chyavanprash , the tonic for eternal youth.Arsha: Sometimes, a bride was obtained in exchange for a cow or a bull.Rakshasa: Abduction of a bride. Bhishma, the prince of Kuru clan, abducted princesses Amba, Ambika and Ambalika, for his brother Vichitravirya. Amba refused to accept Vichitravirya as her husband but Ambika and Ambalika were married to him.Asura:

This was the mercenary marriage.Paishacha: Seizing a bride by force while she was asleep demon-like

 

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Question of dowry:

Dowry used to be voluntary gifts given by the bride's parents, kin and sometimes the whole village at the time of marriage but It was reciprocal. There was something called kanya sulkam in which the bridegroom and his parents and his whole side gave lot of monetary and other gifts to the bride. There was no forcing the bride and this was dhramvirudha(against dharma)

I have always been puzzled how the ancient system of stree dana, "women's wealth," morphed into the modern-day extortion called dowry. Stree dana took the form of jewelry and gold given to the wife by her family, which remained her legal possessions in the marriage, insurance against the untimely demise of her husband to protect her interests(and not the interests of her in-laws or husband as it has nefariously took form now!) This is the true vedic exhortation found in rigveda and yajur veda. This has been misquoted by many from islamic fundamentalists to Dalit leaders.

The system changed due to the British.(One can peruse a book written on the subject as to how the system changed due to British influence by VEENA OLDENBURG)

Oldenburg shows that in precolonial India dowry, called stree dana, was an institution managed by women for women. Dowry was a positive force in society that enabled wives to establish their social status after marriage and also provided insurance policies for emergencies. Oldenburg then directs us on a journey through Punjabi society, showing that "dowry and associated wedding expenses neither caused the impoverishment of the Punjab peasant, which is what early colonial administrators claimed, nor were they the cause of the increase in violence against women, whether in the form of female infanticide or today's bride burning." She points the finger at the increasingly masculine economy and social upheaval created by Imperial policies which took away women's traditional economic entitlements, made male farmers the sole proprietors of property rights and created inflexible tax collection regimens.

Prior to the British, the village money lender was not intent on taking land from the peasants. Rather, he and the farmer had a kind of symbiotic relationship. In contrast, the new breed of money lenders during the British Raj had "an appetite for appropriating their debtors' land. Land was now a commodity that could be alienated from the original proprietor and auctioned off by the government to recover their arrears of revenue." Because of fixed dates for tax collections, rather than the share of the crop required by the Hindu kings, "the peasant was forced to borrow in a bad year or a year when the harvest was late, chiefly to pay his taxes on time (rather than for riotous wedding parties or opulent dowries)." In Oldenburg's study of the British paper trail, this cycle of poverty the farmer was slowly sinking into was the direct result of England's "civilizing mission" to India. The British, Oldenburg asserts, blamed everything except themselves to cover up the disastrous

results their agrarian policies had on India's previously stable rural society.

Other social and economic changes brought about intense competition for the best qualified and best employed grooms. An attractive dowry became the prize to catch one of these grooms. Oldenburg asserts, "The idea that a groom's family could make demands slowly infiltrated other traditional gift-giving occasions reserved by parents for their married daughters and their children. The trend, which started in the colonial period, has steadily worsened, even occasioning violence: the suicides of prospective brides to save their parents from the expense and humiliation of such alliances and the burning to death of wives whose dowries did not meet expectations. Such perverse transactions are unfairly perceived as Œdowry problems;' it would be far more accurate to think of these shameless and amoral demands as Œgroom price.' But they came to be countenanced in a world where the relationship of power and gender had been radically reordered."

Oldenburg's exhaustive pursuit of the British Imperial paper trail challenges the reader to reevaluate the common view on dowry. It becomes clear how British Imperial policy in India turned dowry from a safety net into a noose with its subsequent stranglehold on modern Indian society.

I agree with Babitha's views that one's self earned money is rightful and one should not depend on stree dhana which is adhamam(here stree refers to wife and stree dhana refers to money in the form of dowry(dowarage)).

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Horoscope matching:

This is a tricky question.

The path should be tread with caution.

The concept of dwipaada savitur(twinflame comes here) one should go beyond manaanukoolam and should look ata aperfect match. as the manaanukoolam might lead to a karmic or soulmate but not twinflame which is ideal.

Thus horoscopes which go beyond the confines of mind but shows the reality of positions of the twinflames will yieild a perfect match.

Ancient people knew the concpet of twinflame and hence looked at horoscopes.

Manaanukulam is first seen then other factors are seen.

But these days horoscope matching plays a havoc and is done by halfbaked astrolgers who have no clue what dwaipaadasavitur(twinflame) means and there is a saying in astrology that if an astrologer takes money for the science then his predictions and matchmaking will not be correct.

In my own case I took no dowry, and can call my marriage brahma(but I dont like the word 'gifting'...as this makes a woman a thing) and ofcourse I loved the girl I married and married the girl whom I loved and incidentally our horoscopes matched(I also checked with some astrolgers who put in lot of fear in our heads...You will not believe that they said in three months of marrying my wife I will die because of weak gurubala)....Iam having the last laugh now...Maybe these are ghost fingers of a dead Shreeram typing postings for you all.

 

I followed myself an ancient system of siddha horoscopy and knew beforehand where and when I will meet my significant otherhalf. Rest was a matter of waiting patiently and praying divine mother for the perfect match.

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Ghost fingers typing!

Shreeram Balijepalli

 

Babitha Vasanth <babitha70 wrote:

 

1. Which type does swayamvara belong to?

GANDHARVA. THE FORMAL LOVE WITH SANCTION OF PARENTS. THE INTERESTED BOYS WILL FOLLOW AND STAND FOR THE GIRL TO SELECT. THE GIRL HAVE THE RIGHT TO TEST THE CAPABILITY OF THE BOY TOO. THIS IS WITNESSED BY MANY INVITEES. (THIS IS WHAT MOSTLY HAPPENING AS LOVE TODAY – WITH A DIFFERENCE THAT NO OTHERS ARE INVOLVED. SOME TIMES THE TEST GOES BEYOND LIMIT TOO. THESE DAYS THE WITNESS IS NOT PERMITTED.)

2.The current system among all Hindus is that the boy marries a girl and takes dowry from her. Is it allowed by any scriptures ? Please clarify.

THERE MUST HAVE BEEN THE SYSTEM EARLIER TOO. NOT TOO LONG BACK. AS THE STANZA SAYS

UTHTHAMAM SWARJITHAM VITHAM………….. STHREE VITHAM ADHAMADHAMAM

(IF THERE IS NO SYSTEM WHY THE POET MSUT TELL THAT THE GIRL’S PROPERTY ATTAINED IS WRONG. ONLY IT HAD OPPOSITION THAT TIME TOO. BUT NOT THE EXTEND THAT WAS PREVAILED IN WEST. THE BOMBAY WAS A DOWRY FOR THE BRITISH MARRIAGE – READ HISTORY)3. The practise of comparing horoscope is also very common. Is it allowed by any scriptures ? We don't see any mention of such a practise in Hindu scriptures.

HOROSCOPES ARE SEEN YEARS BACK AND IN MANY YUGA’S BACK TOO. BUT THE HORASASTHRA SAYS “MANONUKOOLAM PRADHAMAM PRASASTHAM……..” – THE MIND MATCH IS MOST AND FIRST PRIORITY. SHOWS THE WILLINGNESS AND THE CHOICE AND EVEN LOVE IS SANCTIONED

 

 

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