Dampathi niyamaani

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Dear Krishnaprasadji,Thankyou for your kind comment on my video.Dear Krishna Prasadji, Nangainallur Rajarajeshwari Temple has published one book by name"Apasthamba sutra marriage rituals" This book contains in detail whyand how we conduct a vedic marriage.VedAs take a humanistic approach to life . An individual's relationto his or her own family is dwelt at length in the VedAs . Therelationship between man and woman , the parents and the children aretaken very seriously by VedAs , since it ties in very closely wihtthe health and well being of Society and the preservation of DharmA .The need to develop social consciousness with the family as anelemental unit of society is very important one taught by theVedaas .

Material civilization generates a lot of wealth , but isfound wanting in social consciousness and a dharmic way of lifestrssing one's obligation to the different members of society .DharmAencompasses " the entire gamut of life ". Pursuit of a dhArmic way oflife elaborated by Sruthis and SaasthrAs creates a soundinfrastructure to build a sound and stable society that enjoys allthe benefits of a higher order of civilization . The MAN-TO-WOMAN relationship is one of the most important subjectdealt with by the VedAs instructing us on how to build a sound andstable society , where righteousness prevails .VedAs show a keeninterest in the unity of man and woman and spells out their duties

,responsibuilities and rights .GeethAchAryan elaborates them further .They point out the important role of women in building a fair ,stable and just scoiety .Satapatha BrahmaNA passage statesunblushingly that only woman fulfills the purposes of human life . Itextolls the divine aspect of women and declares that women are theembodiment of Sri Devi (SriyA vA yEthath rUpam yathA patnaya:). The modern women may not be familiar with the high status given towomen in our religious world and its scriptures. Contrary to thepopular belief that VedAs deny freedom to women , it stresses theunderlying duty and THE RIGHTS of WOMEN , while focusing on thestability of the family as a unit , which then strengthens thesociety .It is in this context , Vedic thought gave ample room for a

personalGod to be conceived as divinty in male or female form .Vedic Godslike Ushas (dawn ) are adoringly saluted by the manthrams of UshassUktham in Rg Vedam .There are many Rishi pathnis and wives, who havebeen equally revered in PurANAs ( AnusUyA , Kausalya , Damayanthi ,Saavithri et al). Dampathi niyamas given in Dharma sindhu are many:I will summarize important ones here relevant in this age:1. Peace should reign in house.2. All anger and ego from which matrimonial disputes emnate must besubmitted to Divine mother.3. Sexual niyamas are to be practiced and union must be had forbegtting spiritual children

or for practicing in privacy tantricrituals(properly inittaed by some advanced tantric adept forgruhasthas alone) alone.Proper and auspicious time must also be seenfor this.4. Wife should consider her husband as Guru and her shiva and herhusband must consider his wife as His shakthi and also divine motherand give due respect to her by not behaving in an arrogant or upmanlyway. 5. Wife should be a sahadharmacharini in all what husband does andshould not come as an obstacle to his spirituality rather mustactively participate and do japas and pujas in a combined fashion.6. The lady of the house plays an important role in not just feedingor educating moral values to her children but also to

mould theircharecter in totality.7. Progeny must be sought actively for vamshavridhhi andadhyaatmachaitanya of the world.(One child who is spiritual willshine the light of god int many houses than a hundred children. Also,no difference should be sought here between a son and a daughter.Forvedic karma reasons son is sought but in the case of a daughter alonecertain vedic injunctions provide for a remedy. One should not cursethe lady of the house for not begetting sons as is wont in India.This is a papa both to the lady and the girl-child).8. In Bhagavata you will see that Rsabhadeva says that `One shouldnot become the spiritual master, one should not become the father,one should not become the mother, one should not become the husband,who cannot give relief from these miseries of material existence.' Itis the husband's duty also. Because the wife is under the care,loveand emotional protection of the

husband, he has got so muchresponsibility.This you must understand this does not mean that youshould force your wife to pray the gods you pray or do what you do.There must be meanigful spaces between a husband and wife. (How do I say all these? from mere texts?...no! I have been marriedvery recently (and two kids recently)and am talking from myexperience)9. Never fight before your children and whatever misunderstandingsyou might have seek a spiritual solution for that by putting the pleabefore Paradevatha.10.A fallen husband is one who is addicted to the four principlesof sinful activity--namely illicit sex, meat-eating, gambling andintoxication. Specifically, if one is not a soul surrendered to

theSupreme Personality of Amba, he is understood to be contaminated.Thus a chaste woman is advised not to agree to serve such a husband.It is not that a chaste woman should be like a slave while herhusband is narAdhama, the lowest of men.Giving up the association of her husband does not mean,however, thata woman should marry again and thus indulge in a subtle form ofprostitution. If a chaste woman unfortunately marries a husband whois fallen, she should live separately from him. Similarly, a husbandcan separate himself from a woman who is not chaste according to thedescription of the shastra and remain a celebate.(Always rules inVedas are for both husband and wife and not just one person. Thusequality of sexes was maintained). 11.Vedam describes the wife to be the best friend of the husband ATALL TIMES. The Vedic obligations are recognized as SamAna (equallymoving ) , since married men and women move freely in society inpursuit of their complimentary duties , VedAs and Manu Smruthivividly describe the responsibilities of women in the house asyajamAnis . The importance of women in the economic aspect of thefamily is fully emphasized and asks men to give the women theresponsibility of looking after the family budget .Similarly ,maintianing family tradition and strengthening the spiritual affairsof the family is entrusted with the women . IN THE EYE OF THE VEDAS ,WOMEN AND MEN ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT.12. In the early years of marriage , love has a sexual importance.But with the advancement of years, it mellows into a great attachmentand affection . No one can disturb

this mutual love. Marriage is notmade for sexual purpose , BUT FOR A REAL UNITED LIFE .... The VedAssay that the wife is the only friend of her husband....Theircomradeship is strengthened by day-to-day movements .She never claimssuperiority over her husband and she is never treated as inferior byher husband.She is the mistress of the house .... She is a realfriend and closely follows her husband in the good and bad ofdomestic life and takes keen interest in his welfare.She also adviseshim at times. Smruthi following the direction given by the Vedasstates clearly that it is the duty of a wife to correct the mistakeof her husband.13. The Vedic wife also takes care of guests who come to the houseand their welfare like a mother and follows the vedic injunction asin "AThithi devO bhavA".14. Other niyamas like maintanance of purity during periods (menses)etc should be followed. 15. According to the VedAs , women are more intelligent than men(i.e) she is a purandhi.In AsvanEdhA , there is a prayer that womenmust be " purandhi". By that term , Women's superior intelligence isindicated. " According to the VedAs , Woman is a karma yogi . Shedoes duty for duty's sake.She sacrifices her individual pleasure andpain and serves the family . The early life of all children depend onthe care of the mother. She brings them up as intelligent and piousones . The stability of her integrity is brought out in one MantrA ,which points out that women are to be strong as a rock in the familyso that the family can survive . Her integrity not only keeps thefamily in a high order , but it overcomes all enemies as well

".Sheis the queen of her husband's house .She maintains the customs andtraditions of the house strictly , with vigilance .The house may bebuilt by bricks and wood , but it is not the real house.In fact , thewife is only the real house. VedAs never confine a woman to thehouse.Many brilliant women have reached out with their husbands andattained a spiritual status equal to or higher than that of theirhusbands , who are revered as Manthra dhrushtAs of the various VedaManthrams16. The names of the women Rishis (RishikAs or Lady seers ) areetched in the annals of the Veda manthrams .None of the Rishis or theRishi pathnis are recognized as the composers of the Veda manthrAs ,but as samhithAkarthAs , who assisted in the collection of the Vedamanthrams thru the power to "see " them as manthra dhrushtAs .Angirasa , Gautama , VasishtA , ViswAmithrA , Bhrugu , Athri ,Marici , KasyapA , AgasthyA and BharadhvAjaa belong to

the rich setof Rishis in this category . Every Veda manthram has a Rishi orRishikA , Chandas and DevathA . We invoke them prior to the recitaionof the individual mathrAs of the different VedAs . Each of theseRishis have a distinguished wife well versed in scholarship , AchAramand anushtAnam . These rishikAs or Lady Seers took an important partin SamaadhikaraNam . YajnavalkyA's wife and her tight questioning ofher husband gave birth to a great Upanishad . There are abundantreference to the RishikAs in the Tenth Canto of Rg Vedam besides theother Cantos. 17. LopamudhrA is one such RishikA as the wife of AgasthyA , knownfor his command over Sanskrit and Tamil. The meaning of theword "LopamudhrA " is one , who is totaly absorbed in herself (i-e).,she is one of the BrahmavAdhini RshikAs.Two manthrAs of the Rg

Vedam( Canto I.179.1-2) are attributed to her .RoamasA the wife of SvanyA , VisvavArA belonging to the Athrifamily , AangirasI Sarasvathi of Angirasa family , ApAlA of the Athrifamily , YamI Vaivasvathi , SraddhA , Vasukra pathni , GhOshA ,SooryA , IndrANi , Urvasi , Sarama , Joohu , VagAmbhruNi and PoulOmiSachi are well known RshikAs , who are revered and are associatedwith individual Rg Veda ManthrAs.18. Also, the lady of the house should respect one's inlaws as herown father and mother. Most of the matrimonial fights start in thisarea.And the man of the house should treat his inlaws(the father admother of his wife) like his own father and mother.(Many adissatisfied woman in this group have emailed me their sufferings inthis regard.)19.Sexual relationship is also very essential part of a vedic marriage. Youmight peruse some good books(not pornography/bluefilms/adultfilms) onthe subject for a proper

consummation.http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail~bookid~44319.aspxYou may try the book : "Vedic Sexual Code: Enjoy a Complete andFulfilling Relationship With Your Lover"for an interesting view on the subject.20.In our religion the man-wife relationship is not concerned withthe mundane alone. It serves the Atman as well as the good ofmankind. In other religions too marriages are conducted, say, in achurch. But ideal of marriage is not as lofty as ours(Unless donewith Jesus/Ishanatha/God/Joshua as a true witness and with religiousand spiritual fervor). The purpose of marriage in our religion is topurify the husband further and to impact the wife fully as hisdevoted and self-effacing companion. There is no such high

purpose inthe marriage of other religion. In other countries the man-womanrelationship is akin to a family or social contract. Here it is anAtman connection. But this very connection is a means ofdisconnection also - of freeing the Atman, the self, from the bondageof worldly existence. There is no room for divorce in it. Even tothink of it is sinful.21.The three objectives of a samskara of so elevated a character asmarriage. The first is to unite a man with a helpmate after he hascompleted the study of Vedas. This helpmate is expected not only torun his household but assist him in the practice of the Vedic dharma.The second is to bring forth into this world children of nobleoutlook and character who are to be heirs to the great Vedictradition, citizens of the future who will be the source of happinessin this world. The third is to create a means for women to be freedfrom worldly existence. A man who is not yet

fully mature inwardly isassisted in his karma by his wife. By doing so, by being totallydevoted to her husband, she achieves maturity to a degree greaterthan he does. The fourth objective is the subordination of sensualgratification to the other three.We have forgotten the first three important objectives. All thatremains is the fourth, the enjoyment of carnal pleasure. If peopleheed in respect of the noble ideals of marriage as taught in thesastras a way will open out to them for their inner advancement.May Sarvamangala Rajarajeshwari Ambal bless them!May she bless you both with her sacred graces! My hearty congratulations on your recent matrimony and may all wealbe to

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