Acahalatwam-Part-10

March 23, 2008

Dear LP,

Nope! I have not forgotten you! I might be a bit tardy in my postings on this issue. Please do not get angry! Afterall, these postings are intended as a tool for you to overcome hurts and anger! Haha!

Now, why do I engage myself in such an elaborate dissertation on the subject anger? I could have very well said "LPji, control your anger. Anger is bad....blah blah blah...".

I frankly feel that the approach supra will not help. Still you will be bitten by the vicious snake called Anger. Anger like sexual-lust must be understood fully in order to de-fang the venemous snake.

Anger has a purpose like in Dharmic anger.Do I get angry? Yes, ofcourse. My anger is of a dharmic kind and I use it cautiously when I see indecorous behaviour.

I stopped last posting with various rupas of anger and now I will dwell this posting on the levels of maturity in handling anger.

For many years I have heard suggestions for dealing with anger like "Slam the Bloody-door!, it will do you good!". Many times I have wrestled with these ideas and indeed as a teenager, I have slammed the door in my house too sometimes out of frustration that none of my sadhanas were succeeding(this was ages ago) only to sit and repair it patiently with a screwdriver and asking forgiveness to the chetana of the door for behaving rashly with it(every inanimate being in this world too possesses chaitanya and des feel hurt).

Now, should we agree with this statement of 'slamming the door'? Yes and No, would be my answer.

I came to the conclusion that slamming a door(I use the phrase 'slamming the door' metaphorically) may be a positive step for smeone wh is not in touch with his or her anger or who always buries it. On the other hand, some people who slam doors also break furniture. For them, slamming doors isn't beneficial unless it is a less destructive act they might otherwise have perfomed. On yet another hand, a more mature individual may actually be regressing if he slams a door.

Some people think that merely by replying to their emails by chiding or pointing out, Iam acting immature but this is just reasoning which they fail to understand, which I do threadbare. The thing to realize is that we don't handle anger maturely or immaturely, with no stages in-between. Rather, there are various levels of maturity in which we deal with our anger.

The method of treatment will then vary according to how maturely the person handles his anger, just as a medical prescription varies according to the specific illness and how sick a patient is. We must resist the temptation to give blanket solutions to their anger problem.

Thus, we cannot tell everybody that the way to handle their anger is to slam the door.For those who have already broken every door and window in the house, this would obviously not be advisable!

There are five levels of maturity when it comes to handling anger:

1. Very mature(Uttamottama Bhava)

2. Mature(Uttama Bhava)

3. Average maturity(Pamara bhava)

4. Somewhat mature(Youwana Bhava)

5. Very immature.--(Adhamakrodha bhava)

Level 1 where the person has 'Adhamakrodha bhava' will have chronic anger issues.These type of people will get heart-attacks for sure. If one is given to an anger bout once, it takes 6 months for his nervous system to recoup back the psychical and psyho-somatic order back! Thus, imagine what would be the physical condition of persons who are in this level! Less said the better!

Now, this level is also a strange combination in some people with the ability t handle anger at a peak level whereas the visibility of anger at the nadir! Which would mean a self-righteous person who is obviously well-versed in shastras and spiritual percepts on a textbook level yet showing an anger visibility relatively higher than his fello "lower-mortals". Thus intellectual superiority has nothing to do with anger visbility.(The same goes with Kama(lust) also. We have seen how Madugula Nagaphani Sharma Garu, the great Dwisahasra Avadhani has succumbed to lust and has been arrested!). The immature display of anger(or lust) is because of the presence of high level of Ahamkara-mala(the impurity of ego).

On the other end of the spectrum we also have people wh seem to be 24/7/366/365 days cool,calm and collected-the sterotypical ''always nice'' person---and yet be a very mature person. This is a contradiction which is not understood by many and thus they say"Oh, yeah, he is such a nice person and thus he is very mature emotionally." Indians especially are guilty of such statements based on an illogical understanding of shastras and vedas which exhort restraint in the matters of anger.

The above mentioned "cool" person is evidently burying some of his/her anger. Why do I say he/she is burying his/her anger? Because, some conflict in life is inevitable. Conflict does not mean always directed toward someone, it might even be oneself(like me slamming my door as a kid because my mantra-sadhana-results were not coming out correct), it might be for society in general, it might toward some object which is not functioning properly. It might be anything.

Even the most mature individual will occasionally display some anger.

Thus level-1 type of person may at one extreme, hide his/her anger or else at the other extreme overtly and frequently display his/her anger. It does not matter which extreme this person is, he still has an adhama-krodhabhava.

These bhavas are personal and not subjective to people who witness this individual in anger situations.For example, most obviously many people tend to think of a person who is calm and collected during an anger situation as a person who is mature. But in reality heshe is a very immature person.The pent-up anger will show one day in some form(big bout of anger, suicide,depression,illness,cancer,etc).

At the level-5 Uttamotamma bhava level, an individual is fully aware of what is going on in a conflict situation. He/She is aware of his/her own feelings,including feelings of hurt and anger.He/She has no residual anger in his/her unresolved anger fund(which I mentioned in my earlier postings).He/She is in full control of his actions-his/her responses are by choice rather than by reaction.He/She chooses the best means to handle anger,which I will describe in my postings on this issue to follow.Maybe only Avatara purushas like Lord Krishna or Shirdi Sai Baba would qualify for such a level.

The most mature person whom you or I might know might be the Uttamabhava type. He/She knows his/her feelings and what causes them, and typically handles them well.Many annoyances that bother other people really won't bother this person.Also, when something really does disturb him/her then this person can be counted on to confront the situation squarely.He/She will avoid the problem merely because it is uncomfortable to deal with.

Pamara Bhava types handles hurts in his/her life equally well.This person might tend to hide his/her feelings more or might express his anger a bit. Most of the people in modern society belong to this category.

The Pamara bhava type might without caution and spirituality gradually slide down to Youwanna bhava and then to Adhamakrodha bhava over a period of time.By the time this perosn slides down to level-1, he/she has hosted in his shareera a number of emotional and physical problems.Hopelessness and suicidal thoughts become a significant risk.There are tremendus amounts of hurt and anger buried away, of which the person might have little comprehension.At this level we have the potential for extremes in manifestation.

Recently we have seen an increase in road-rage,homicides,mass and serial murders-whether at home,school,work,places of worship, and even at random.It is of interest that the Adhamakrodha bhava whether present in a silent or an expressive manner(dormant or expressive) is capable of this bevahiour. The more silent a perosn is, the more danger one can construe to that person(either to himself/herself) or to the society at large, unless the perosn is a yogi or a spiritual person who lives like a recluse seeking union with God. A day might cme when such a dormant perosn might burst frth with a hail of bullets hitting anyone who is in his/her way.

I encourage you LP, to now take a moment after you read this hubris-tome posting to consider where you fit into scheme.Think of the various conflict situations you have experienced in the past--a snub from a friend, an irritation at the office, a terse conversation at home-- and analyze the maturity of your responses.Consider things such as whether you use any camouflages,whether you try to avoid conflicts, whether you snap at trivial details,whether your anger is visible t those who know you, and whether you take out frustrations on others.

Go through all the ten postings I have made(including this one) till now on this issue. You might type "Achalatwam" in Search facility to ferret out my past postings on the issue.

Once you re-read it all, email me back and then I will start reeling out postings on the subject on how to

1. Prepare to handle anger(groundlevel clearances)

2. HOW TO ACTUALLY HANDLE ANGER

3. How to practice what you know -spiritually and emotionally

4. How to prevent anger.

5. How to communicate constructively

6. How to forgive and handle anger in an "uthammottama bhava"(the highest) manner.

So keep focussed on my posting.

But for now, do what I say!

& Be in Peace,Perfection,Pristine beauty!

Yours yogically,

Shreeram Balijepalli