Short, Sweet, and Vedic: A Modern, Woman-Friendly Hindu Marriage Ceremony

[Guest guest]

Short, Sweet, and Vedic:

A new book describes a no-fuss, woman-friendly

ceremony for Hindu marriages.

 

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Telegraph

by Malini Banerjee

 

For those who consider elaborate Hindu weddings a

waste of time and money and a continuation of dated

rituals, there is hope. The soon-to-be-published An

Ever-new Vedic Wedding by Gouri Dharmapal and

Gautam Dharmapal is a wedding manual that is an easy

guide to a " short ritual with necessary Vedic mantras

minus the days-and-nights-long elaborate rites and

social practices " .

 

" When we decided to get married Gautam told me that

the Hindu wedding ceremony has become a cacophony.

He wanted to make it a symphony, " says the 76-year-old

Gouri. She wears many hats. She is a poet, a writer, a

teacher of Sanskrit (she retired as head of the Sanskrit

department at Lady Brabourne College in 1991) and a

Vedic scholar.

 

In 1967, when she married Gautam, their marriage broke

many time-tested conventions. She was 36 years old.

Her husband was not the conventional Bengali

bhadralok employed in a job with " good prospects " -

he was Gujarati and had " taken " the surname

" Dharmapal " .

 

" Ten of us formed the Dharma Sangha in 1945 and took

on the surname of Dharmapal. The Dharma Sangha was

formed to dedicate our lives to the cause of rashtra,

dharma and dharma prachaar, " says Gautam.

 

Gouri and Gautam were married in a short ceremony

with few people. They had a woman priest performing

the rites! And the bride and groom recited their own

vows in Sanskrit! They called it the Vedic wedding.

 

Shrimat Anirvan, a Vedic scholar whom they called

their " acharya " , was the supervisor or " Brahma " at their

wedding, and his niece Narayani Devi was the priest.

" That was the beginning, " says Gouri. " In the next 40

years, friends and relatives who thought like us

approached us. We, with our woman students, acted as

priests. "

 

She has acted as priest in 16 marriages. These include

the weddings of actor-director Aparna Sen's daughter

Kamalini (Dona) and writer (and Gouri's sister) Bani

Basu's daughter. " The media got wind of it when

Aparna came to us. A lot was written then. But not too

many dared to go in the same direction, " says Gouri.

 

She knows that 16 weddings in 40 years do not make a

trend. " This is why I can't be called a woman priest.

What we (she points at her husband) wanted to do was

take out the meaningless lokachar that had crept into the

Hindu wedding. "

 

The book will also contain a Bengali translation, Vedic

pronunciation and mantras with the right accents, and a

few mantras that have been changed to make the

ceremony more " intelligible, progressive and profound " .

They cite the example of the groom's mantra for

shubhodrishti (The first look the couple exchange). The

original mantra is " a-ghora a-pati-ghni edhi " . This asks

the bride not to look at her husband with evil eyes. The

negative implication has been turned on its head and

modified to " Sudrishtir edhi anavadaya lakhshana " ,

which means " O you auspicious and beautiful wife, look

with love to your spouse " . The words " kanyala

pitribhyah " describe the daughter as leaving the abode

of her father. This has been changed to " kanyala

matapitribhyam " , to denote that the daughter leaves the

house of her parents, both being equally close to her.

 

" Our social customs should change to convey a hearty

and healthy expression of love and joy, " says Gouri.

 

http://www.telegraphindia.com/1071216/asp/calcutta/sto

ry_8660968.asp#