ishtadevata

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all input. Then I gather that I

am just to wait for clear guidance. As I said,

my history with Hindu goddesses is complex.

Three or four years ago, I felt an overwhelming

attraction to Lakshmi, bought a huge statue of

her, and began praying to her earnestly every

day. I feel this was mostly prompted by my

unhappiness in my situation and the fact that

I wanted a move South for my family. I was

galvinized by this desire.

 

Within 18 months, She fulfilled my desire, and

we are now happily settled in the South. (And

incidentally, the lady my husband had orientation

with at his new job in North Carolina was named...

you guessed it... Lakshmi.)

 

But I'm moving on from " using " the Goddess to

get things to the true surrender I have been

avoiding ever since I left a contemplative

monastery 20 years ago. Since then, the Divine

has been various things to me, but I could never

give myself over to It because of fear. I've

worked through these issues, passing through

atheism, studying philosophical Taoism, Zen,

and Advaita on the way, and have come to terms

with my need to embrace a personal Divinity,

the need for self-surrender and the death of

the ego. The Divine for me has always been most

potent in the Feminine, therefore my recent

(past 5 years or so) re-attraction to Goddesses.

 

As I said, my primary attraction has been to

Tara, but I cannot seem to " flesh out " my

perception of her in my mind, in spite of having

read everything I can find about her. Believe

it or not, I think it is her celibate nature

that bothers me--reminds me too much of the

Virgin Mary. I do love and appreciate Lakshmi,

but I feel the universal mother, Devi Ma if

you will, is more. I've tried envisioning this

Power as Lalita, but I'm having trouble finding

enough info on her to warm my heart. Unfortunately,

I have a lot of trouble relating to Kali. For now,

the image of Devi Ma I have in my head is just

a generality--and that is not inspiring passion

just yet. You see, coming out of " the Divine

has no form " perspective, I need definite form

to fire the imagination and light the devotion

in my heart.

 

I have been seeking the Divine since I demanded

baptism at the age of 11. I converted to Catholicism

when I was 14, became a nun in a strictly cloistered

monastery, and after leaving went through the other

stages listed above. This quest has been the driving

force of my life and I most certainly do not take

it lightly. I see the hand of the Divine in every

step I have taken--to Her, away from Her, and now

back to Her in true form as Goddess, not a veiled

form at is the Catholic Virgin Mary. I joined this

group in an attempt to connect with others who

relate to the Goddess in the living, ancient Hindu

tradition (which I have also studied for over a decade).

 

I sincerely appreciate any insight or help your

members can offer and respect all points of view,

as I hope my sharing will be respected. This seeking

is my life, the point of my life, and of utmost

importance to me.

 

Sincerely,

Lakshmi Sunyata

[Guest guest]

Namaste Lakshmi:

 

Sometimes our personal form of the goddess appears to us in dreams. I know a few

years back before I was even Hindu or a Shakta, I had dreams of Saraswati coming

to take me down the river. I had dreams where I was told to pray the Gayatri

mantra and I found out later that Gayatri can also be another form of Saraswati.

I began to look at myself and my family and I saw artists and intellectuals and

I began to realize that she is right for me in my situation.

 

Shanti Om!

Shankari

 

lakshmi_sunyata <lakshmi_sunyata wrote:

Thanks for all input. Then I gather that I

am just to wait for clear guidance. As I said,

my history with Hindu goddesses is complex.

Three or four years ago, I felt an overwhelming

attraction to Lakshmi, bought a huge statue of

her, and began praying to her earnestly every

day. I feel this was mostly prompted by my

unhappiness in my situation and the fact that

I wanted a move South for my family. I was

galvinized by this desire.

 

Within 18 months, She fulfilled my desire, and

we are now happily settled in the South. (And

incidentally, the lady my husband had orientation

with at his new job in North Carolina was named...

you guessed it... Lakshmi.)

 

But I'm moving on from " using " the Goddess to

get things to the true surrender I have been

avoiding ever since I left a contemplative

monastery 20 years ago. Since then, the Divine

has been various things to me, but I could never

give myself over to It because of fear. I've

worked through these issues, passing through

atheism, studying philosophical Taoism, Zen,

and Advaita on the way, and have come to terms

with my need to embrace a personal Divinity,

the need for self-surrender and the death of

the ego. The Divine for me has always been most

potent in the Feminine, therefore my recent

(past 5 years or so) re-attraction to Goddesses.

 

As I said, my primary attraction has been to

Tara, but I cannot seem to " flesh out " my

perception of her in my mind, in spite of having

read everything I can find about her. Believe

it or not, I think it is her celibate nature

that bothers me--reminds me too much of the

Virgin Mary. I do love and appreciate Lakshmi,

but I feel the universal mother, Devi Ma if

you will, is more. I've tried envisioning this

Power as Lalita, but I'm having trouble finding

enough info on her to warm my heart. Unfortunately,

I have a lot of trouble relating to Kali. For now,

the image of Devi Ma I have in my head is just

a generality--and that is not inspiring passion

just yet. You see, coming out of " the Divine

has no form " perspective, I need definite form

to fire the imagination and light the devotion

in my heart.

 

I have been seeking the Divine since I demanded

baptism at the age of 11. I converted to Catholicism

when I was 14, became a nun in a strictly cloistered

monastery, and after leaving went through the other

stages listed above. This quest has been the driving

force of my life and I most certainly do not take

it lightly. I see the hand of the Divine in every

step I have taken--to Her, away from Her, and now

back to Her in true form as Goddess, not a veiled

form at is the Catholic Virgin Mary. I joined this

group in an attempt to connect with others who

relate to the Goddess in the living, ancient Hindu

tradition (which I have also studied for over a decade).

 

I sincerely appreciate any insight or help your

members can offer and respect all points of view,

as I hope my sharing will be respected. This seeking

is my life, the point of my life, and of utmost

importance to me.

 

Sincerely,

Lakshmi Sunyata

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Hi Lakshmi:

 

Thanks for your comments. Dunno if my " ishtadevata chooses you " post

was as unhelpful as the typical " get a guru " response. ;-) But it was

meant sincerely.

 

You wrote:

 

*** my primary attraction has been to Tara, but I cannot seem

to 'flesh out' my perception of her in my mind, in spite of having

read everything I can find about her. Believe it or not, I think it

is her celibate nature that bothers me -- reminds me too much of the

Virgin Mary.***

 

That may be a Buddhist characteristic (Tara is truly best understood

as a living link between the Hindu and Buddhist faiths). In Kalikula

Shakta Hinduism, she is not much like that. In fact, as a Mahavidya

she is often portrayed as visibly pregnant! At other times, the

dhyanas have Her carrying a pair of scissors (as opposed to Kali's

hacker). She is still cutting and snipping away at our various

attachments, but Kali is more the wrecking ball and Tara more the

surgeon. And so forth -- really, it's possible to go on and on.

Protectress? Yes. Guide? You bet. But that's just the tip of Tara's

iceberg. And what's floating beneath has little indeed to remind one

of the Virgin Mary.

 

*** I've tried envisioning this Power as Lalita, but I'm having

trouble finding enough info on her to warm my heart. ***

 

Lalita is hard to approach directly. It's too much like trying to get

cuddly with the Milky Way. She is generally too vast. Even in Her

direct worship we kinda circle in on Lalita -- via Kamakshi,

Rajarajeshwari, Varahi, Shyamala (Matangi/Meenakshi), Bala

Tripurasundari. Close approaches to the center indeed, but one can't

land one's spaceship on the Sun.

 

*** Unfortunately, I have a lot of trouble relating to Kali. For now,

the image of Devi Ma I have in my head is just a generality--and that

is not inspiring passion just yet. You see, coming out of " the Divine

has no form " perspective, I need definite form to fire the

imagination and light the devotion in my heart.***

 

See comment above.

 

*** I see the hand of the Divine in every step I have taken--to Her,

away from Her, and now back to Her in true form as Goddess, not a

veiled form at is the Catholic Virgin Mary. I joined this group in an

attempt to connect with others who relate to the Goddess in the

living, ancient Hindu tradition (which I have also studied for over a

decade). ***

 

It sounds like yours has been an incredible journey! :-o It is

wonderful (to me, at least) that you have arrived at this place.

Please feel free to contact me off board -- email or IM, etc.; I

would be happy to share more specific information if you wish.

 

*** I sincerely appreciate any insight or help your members can offer

and respect all points of view, as I hope my sharing will be

respected. This seeking is my life, the point of my life, and of

utmost importance to me. ***

 

Thanks for sharing, and hope to see more of your contributions to

this group. It's an honor and a pleasure to have you aboard.

 

aim mAtangyai namaH

[Guest guest]

" Protectress? Yes. Guide? You bet. But that's just the tip of Tara's

iceberg. And what's floating beneath has little indeed to remind one

of the Virgin Mary. "

 

For the Tibetan Tara as well. The popular guise of Her of course is in

Her more peaceful manifestations. But there are others as well....

 

" Homage, Lady, TURE, the terrible lady, who annihilates the hero of Mara,

Lotus-faced, frowning-browed, who slays all enemies without exception. "

 

" Homage, Lady who lives amidst a garland that blazes like the fire of the

final aeon, at ease in the royal posture, overcoming the enemy army. Homage,

Lady who strikes with the palm of the hand and pounds with her feet the

surface of the earth, who frowning shatters the seven underworlds with the

syllable HUNG. "

 

(From the " Praises To the Twenty-One Forms Of Tara " )