subject of Self Mastery

[Guest guest]

Dear All SY's,

 

I enjoy reading your posts, and know this forum will

continue unabated. I only ask that when a individual

is obviously suffering, the first thing we all do is

give them a Bandan. Send them some Love. I have always

felt this when done for me, and i know it is very

powerful way to help others. Perhaps more than any

words....

 

I have written much, and deleted it all...

If asked what I did to come to the place i exist in

today, I would laugh very heartily and respond,

" nothing " , I have done nothing.

 

But that is not entirely true. I learned to watch,

myself and others, and most importantly, watch Mother.

That is, the Kundalini. The years i was in self

imposed exile because of my illness, i always watched

and paid attention with detachment to my kundalini. We

had a dialog for almost 10 years, " how to convince

people they need self realization " . This was probably

the only thing i thought about when i was not working

or otherwise involved. I have long time ago abandoned

this dialog.

 

I guess my Love grew for this force, this silent

place inside of myself. I had stopped chasing it, and

started to accept it as it was, for what it was, just

living with it. I had little choice really as next

time i took ill might be the last time. I had come

very close before, to not recovering. And with Love

grows Trust. They are hand in hand, one cannot love

without it. So i grew to trust the Goddess, she led me

everywhere, i only followed. Even when i thought it

was me, it was only maya. But i always asked Her what

to do, mostly anyway.

 

One time after a few years on " the road " i was

sitting in my brothers living room, and did not know

what to do with my life next. I was meditating and

asked Mother, what next? I had my answer in an

inspiration and it worked out for the next 5 years.

But the point is, my sister in-law was upstairs

folding laundry, and as she looked up at the same

moment i was receiving, she saw a column of twinkling

lights descending through the ceiling and into the

floor. I was directly beneath. She came running down

the stairs, what was that she said? i just smiled and

said oh, I was just talking to God. So this was how it

was, not like the yogi warned me, if I was out of the

collective, i would Loose everything. I was of course

afraid what they said to be true, but found out

differently. I wanted/needed this connection and have

never been without it.

 

I very early gave up trying to discern others

vibrations, as i saw this was a maya, they are for us

to use on ourselves, and in Love giving to others. I

found any other use was more like looking into a

mirror. I did once perform experiments with yogis in

Romania, who confirmed what i thought about this. It

was a blind experiment, conducted by a Romanian

sociologist SY. They took my vibrations through a

photo being told nothing. The report was very

disturbing, as i suffered from catches according to

them, i should not be alive...im laughing a little, it

wasn't that bad, but they had me catching

everywhere...

 

Well i sent another photo, one i sent to you Jagbir,

and my friend in Romania reported to me he had an

experience of pranama, to say Pure Love. As that was

my intention, to try and show this illusion. Of course

I did not do anything, I asked Mother to do, i only

followed Her directions. The whole thing was Her doing

really.

 

So i feel i am rambling on and on, i dont know about

what, oh, being a master. There is the attachment to

this note. The photo of Shri Kali. This is some of my

relationship with the goddess today. I have the

experience of Shri Shiva's snake dancing on my head,

just like that, and rest quietly in her embrace. I am

indeed a dead man, having actually died, not

metaphorically at all. Our Goddess, was once in

history all incarnations. As the goddess psyche, she

was referred to as a butterfly, actually in greek the

name means both mind, well actually soul/butterfly.

She was said to posses a butterfly of metamorphosis.

That would metamorphosize the soul.

 

Well this is true even today. The nectar of Kundalini

will eventual attract that butterfly, then will the

process truly begin. This is all I know today, what

everybody is preparing for, in the school of SY. I did

not choose, I would have gladly passed on, as i had

spent 7 long years preparing for my fate, i knew was

coming.

 

Someone asked me once, what is the difference between

you and you Guru, Mataji. I said i didnt know, but

would ask her. The next morning i awoke and we had

just been talking, Mother and i, she said with a

smile, and a little laugh, that I was sleeping, was

the only difference. I was still meditating deeply

those days on the reflection of Gods face i had

encountered in Heaven. I was not completely happy

about being stuck here on earth, I wanted to go home!

So every day in meditation for the next three months i

asked Mother, Please wake me up! I want to wake up!

Finally one morning i stopped asking this question.

I received my answer, the only time i would say i

actually heard Mothers voice from outside. She was

right in my ear, and she said " YOU MUST LIVE " .

 

So that is what i am doing today, living, for what i

am not always sure. I know the Goddess today as my

everything, my wife, my companion, my comforter, my

lover. She is a part of me like my right arm. There is

probably more of Her than what i would call me. She

has given to me what they used to call the Garments of

Heaven. Is a experience of Her response to me, where

all the cells of my being vibrate in pure bliss, i get

lost in it, She is so Lovely, so Beautiful, I can not

describe, but i spend most every night like that with

Her. I try to keep them back, but tears of love and

joy well at the thought of Her Love. And how much She

Loves everybody! And Father also, is the same Love.

 

So back to mastery, i can only tell of my experience,

of Heaven, when you get there, they are all like so

happy you made it. But as Blake once said " The Fool

no matter how pious or holy, will never be let in " .

So let the play of fool be someone else's job. I

regard most of humanity in that role.

 

In Love,

Ishmael

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

shriadishakti , " Ishmael Abraham

<ishmael35a> " <ishmael35a> wrote:

> Dear All,

>

> please forgive this message, i do not intend to make this forum an

> outlet for my personal agenda, i have none. Just a nagging pain in

> my chest when i think of this fellow.

>

 

Dear Ishmael and all forum members,

 

i want to remind all that no names should be used to denigrate

leaders/individuals on personal matters. If this is allowed to

continue than this forum will turn into a free for all fracas.

 

As i have posted earlier only under extreme circumstances do leaders

take the unpleasant decision to ask SYs to leave for the sake of the

collective and individual. i am not implying that you wanted to hurt

someone, far from it. But Manoj must have good reason and sought

Shri Mataji's advise.

 

And if one is asked to leave nothing really happens as long the

individual continues to meditate, contrary to what many think. Being

asked to leave does not mean the end of Her grace. Under certain

conditions it may well turn out to be an ascent acceleration because

the cause of conflict and commotion is removed - the disturbed lake

of the mind is allow to settle down again.

 

Moreover, since all is Her Play then we should accept the position

we are in, whether pleasant or objectionable. After all we regard

Her as the Adi Shakti and seek Her protection and guidance at all

times. Why complain when we are all alone and far from the

collective?

 

i have self-exiled myself from the collective and have ascended much

faster than possible in the stifling collective climate of fear,

bhoots, catches, taboos and endless rituals. But since i have

prostrated at Her Lotus Feet, seeking Her Guidance and Protection at

all times, does this mean it was my own act or Her subtle play?

 

Ishmael, you have only undergone but a fraction of what my family

had to endure. Yet i do not name anyone and this protocol should be

respected. There is no bitterness in my heart or anger in my voice

(and the coconuts have responded in tandem).

 

Yes, i do bitch but not gossip or murmur behind backs. i also do not

want anyone telling me tomorrow that when Shri Mataji was around you

were as meek as a mouse, and now are roaring like a lion. As the

Chinese proverb goes, " Before going to battle make sure you dig your

own grave. " i have dug six, one for each member of my family.

 

i am doing all this in the hope that the 14 types of SYs that Shri

Mataji talks about will decrease to the better half or less. It is

the silence and lack of venue to self-expose and examine our faults

that has allowed the situation to deteriorate to this level where

there is hardly any growth in North America. Any miniscule increase

has been from migration of SYs from Europe and India. It is Shri

Mataji's declaration that only when American wakes up will Sahaja

Yoga spread. But this Land of Krishna is snoring so loudly that it

will need a rude awakening ................... without naming names

or settling scores which will only perpetuate the problem.

 

Ishmael, please forgive me for causing pain which i hope will cease

and heal. i want all the pain of the past to come to an end so that

you nurse back to health. With all the experiences you have there

should be no bitterness left.

 

Be in Joy and Bliss,

 

 

 

jagbir

[Guest guest]

shriadishakti , " jagbir singh > Dear Ishmael

and all forum members,

>

> i want to remind all that no names should be used to denigrate

> leaders/individuals on personal matters. If this is allowed to

> continue than this forum will turn into a free for all fracas.

>

 

Dear Brother Jagbir,

 

As i was writing this note i knew it should not be. I could not stop

myself. I apologize and will respect the forum here.

I do not really thnk i was roaring like a lion, i am just myself,

whether in Mothers presence or not. I have never hounded anyone or

done anything but accept my situation. I continue to do so.

 

In Love

Ishmael

[Guest guest]

shriadishakti , " Ishmael Abraham

<ishmael35a> " <ishmael35a> wrote:

 

> Dear Brother Jagbir,

>

> As i was writing this note i knew it should not be. I could not

> stop myself. I apologize and will respect the forum here.

> I do not really thnk i was roaring like a lion, i am just myself,

> whether in Mothers presence or not. I have never hounded anyone or

> done anything but accept my situation. I continue to do so.

>

 

Dear Ishmael,

 

Thank you for your humility. Brother Ishmael, you are not the type

that will roar. i was refering to myself when writing:

 

" i also do not want anyone telling me tomorrow that when Shri Mataji

was around you were as meek as a mouse, and now are roaring like a

lion. "

 

What i meant is that it is better i speak up today while the Adi

Shakti is on Earth, and be reprimanded by Her for doing so because

even the meek will roar tomorrow. It is better to be thrown out of

Sahaja Yoga for rasing my concerns, then to be accepted for

pretending all's fine. That is why i have dug up six graves.

 

Love to you,

 

 

jagbir

[Guest guest]

Dear Jagbir and SY's,

 

Sitting here working, suddenly I am flooded with beautiful

vibrations. I think well something must have happened. Surely enough

i am treated to a good laugh at your explaination. You do not need to

dig any graves my brother. There is nothing you say really out of

line to my sensibilities. We all must respond to the desires in our

own hearts.

 

The pain I mentioned in my chest before i am sure is my own

attachment to someone else and their judgement. I am actually so very

happy and joyful i dont know what to do with myself. So I meditate

some more, one of the things i never can get enough of. Again forgive

my unconscious and its outburst. I have deleted the note so noone in

the future will have to read anything unpleasant like that.

 

Peace,

Ishmael

[Guest guest]

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