Re; one who is trying hard (like the rest of us).

[Guest guest]

>

> hi dear sys, i'd like to share with you my feelings, my current

> emotions...(give u a bandhan please, no just kidding, ok)

>

> sometimes i can go high, i feel cool vibrations, saharsara open,

> cool in my mooladhara and u know Mother is there heavenly smiling

> before me,but sometimes everithing becomes dark, all of a sudden

> and horrible thoughts from the past come into my head and i feel

> lost and confused and then i lose vibrations and then again i start

> moving towards the light... it's like i'm going up and down, as if

> i'm getting out of all the mud, ascending, feeling great and then i

> slip douwn again, it's a bit frustrating...

> (when will i ever be a real sy?)

> thanx

>

> i have the greatest respect for all of you brothers and sisters i

> love you all and i really needed to let it all out

>

> sometimes i think i'm not a real sy just someone who has seen God,

> felt God and is trying and trying and trying to get cleansed )

>

> JSM

>

 

Dear Cillinjo,

 

There is no such thing as not being a 'real' SY. Your problems plague

even SYs who have been meditating for years. i still get these

negative thoughts once in a while and it is because of my pre-SY

lifestyle which were spent pursuing and thoroughly enjoying anti-

spiritual activities. My mind is still healing from the deep wounds

and will continue to for the rest of my life. So please do not feel

guilty.

 

The mind takes a long time to heal of thousands of mental injuries,

some of which are really deep and prone to relapse. Only the Mother

Kundalini and the thoughtless state will over time rid you of all

negativity.

 

Continue reading The Devotee as Inquirer after Truth a few times over

weeks/months until you understand it thoroughly, especially this gem:

 

" I grew to see that perfection is most unlikely to come

precipitously, instantaneously; and it is illogical to expect that it

should. Do we produce new tissue all of a sudden, become piano

virtuosos or figure skaters in an instant, or reach health, after we

have been sick, in a flash? Do we find any development in nature

occurring without struggle, effort, time? The fabric of the mind, I

saw, is remade most slowly of all. Hence yoga--a word and discipline

I had formerly shied away from as denoting something in objectionable

taste--became to me a course in self-improvement. Adjustable to

individual leanings, yoga provides a variety of practices for the

slow remodelling of the mind and discovery of the Divine Ground. By

recollectedness, by meditation, by repetition of the Name, by

selfless work and abnegation, one might, I began to see, slowly turn

one's moment-to-moment existence into a freeing sacrament. "

 

The Devotee as Inquirer after Truth

http://theworld.com/~elayj/Chapter2.html

 

jagbir

[Guest guest]

shriadishakti , " jagbir singh "

<adishakti_org> wrote:

> >

> > hi dear sys, i'd like to share with you my feelings, my current

> > emotions...(give u a bandhan please, no just kidding, ok)

> >

> > sometimes i can go high, i feel cool vibrations, saharsara open,

> > cool in my mooladhara and u know Mother is there heavenly smiling

> > before me,but sometimes everithing becomes dark, all of a sudden

> > and horrible thoughts from the past come into my head and i feel

> > lost and confused and then i lose vibrations and then again i

> > start moving towards the light... it's like i'm going up and

> > down, as if i'm getting out of all the mud, ascending, feeling

> > great and then i slip douwn again, it's a bit frustrating...

> > (when will i ever be a real sy?)

> > thanx

> >

> > i have the greatest respect for all of you brothers and sisters i

> > love you all and i really needed to let it all out

> >

> > sometimes i think i'm not a real sy just someone who has seen

> > God, felt God and is trying and trying and trying to get

> > cleansed )

> >

> > JSM

> >

>

> Dear Cillinjo,

>

> There is no such thing as not being a 'real' SY. Your problems

> plague even SYs who have been meditating for years. i still get

> these negative thoughts once in a while and it is because of my pre-

> SY lifestyle which were spent pursuing and thoroughly enjoying anti-

> spiritual activities. My mind is still healing from the deep wounds

> and will continue to for the rest of my life. So please do not feel

> guilty.

>

> The mind takes a long time to heal of thousands of mental injuries,

> some of which are really deep and prone to relapse. Only the Mother

> Kundalini and the thoughtless state will over time rid you of all

> negativity.

>

>

 

 

" This Kundalini is awakened within us all the time to help us. I

have seen to My very great sorrow that we have really hurt our

Kundalini and mashed it. We have really tortured Her. I have seen

big, big holes and wounds in Her Being. In our ego, in our useless

ideas, we have really wounded our Kundalini. I have seen this poor

Kundalini in a mess and I soothe Her. I soothe Her and tell Her that

You, the Mother of this child, be contented that this child has got

desire to know God.

 

So the first stage is to have desire, desire to know God. God is not

going to fall at your feet. At least you must be matured so much that

you want to know God. That is why Sahaja Yoga is a slow process. It

does not work on people who do not want it. You have to be interested

in knowing your Self. It is the only thing that is required in Sahaja

Yoga that you should be desirous of becoming of becoming that. Then

it will happen. This is the first basic thing. You must have

desire. "

 

Shri Avyaja-karuna-murtih Shri Nirmala Devi

Being Born Again, Caxton Hall, London, U.K. — May 12, 1980

Avyaja-karuna-murtih (992nd): She is the personification of love

towards Her devotees for no reason whatsoever. For that is the nature

of a mother's love.