Testimonial of false guru Sri Chinmoy's ex-disciple (Artur Smith)

[Guest guest]

Dear All,

 

i regard this testimonial from Artur Smith, an ex-disciple of the

false guru Sri Chinmoy, a must-read.

 

Throughout this forum i have always insisted that we must learn to be

our own gurus, always demand/provide evidence of Shri Mataji's

divinity, and cherish the freedom to criticize in order to maintain

and protect the Dharma.

 

May all of us learn from Artur Smith and work to safeguard the

message of Shri Mataji for future generations to come. May Artur

Smith heal in mind, body and spirit. May this Dark Night of Kali Yuga

end soon.

 

jagbir

 

 

------------------------------

 

" And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. " -

Jesus Christ

 

My feelings after being dismissed from the Sri Chinmoy Center.

 

This is an effort to know the truth.

 

I was in the the Sri Chinmoy Center for 23 years, before

being summarily dismissed by Sri Chinmoy's messenger, one Saturday

morning over the phone: " Guru says you have to leave the Path, for

having extended conversations with a hostile ex-disciples. "

 

A few days before, I had retold--to the best of my memory -- what a

woman disciple had related to me, regarding her sporadic, decade-long

sexual relations with our spiritual master, Sri Chinmoy.

 

I had related her story, in total confidence, to a disciple whom I

considered to be a close friend. Little did I know that my so-

called " friend " would betray me--going straight to the master to ask

if it was true. Duh! But then again, that is a testament to the way

he has conditioned his disciples.

 

Before I even told my " friend, " he somehow guessed the names

of almost all the women involved, and said that he thought Sri

Chinmoy and Alo Devi--the Canadian woman whom sits alongside Sri

Chinmoy at functions, (when she is not jet-setting around the globe,

on the contributions of disciples)--were like husband and wife, when

they first came to the New York, and that he knew for a fact that a

certain, Californian ex-disciple woman had received $10,000 from Sri

Chinmoy.

 

Since he seemed to be skeptical ,and always disseminating

and searching for " behind-the-scenes " gossip on Sri Chinmoy's path,

I related to him what I had heard first hand from a woman who

claimed to have been sexually involved with Sri Chinmoy, sporadically

for almost a decade, and who seemed very, calm and sincere; not

someone who would be considered " hostile " or bitter in anyway.

 

Before telling him, I said that I had not come to a conclusion yet,

whether I entirely believed it, because I feel one should not come to

a conclusion without direct experience. I was using my own intuition

about the woman's sincerity, which seemed very convincing to me. But

since I was promptly expelled from the Sri Chinmoy Center for

retelling this information, and also because this isn't the only " ex-

disciple " woman who has been making these accusations, I now assume

that it must be true, which I relayed to Sri Chinmoy, when I was

given the message to pack my bags.

 

Listening to the woman relate her story, she said that it was

definitely not her intention to expose " Guru, " or bring him down (no

pun intended) , only she just wanted to relate her experience to

those who wanted to know the truth, which apparently is cleverly

hidden from the majority of his disciples--so she could move on with

her life.

 

She also told me that Guru had a girl disciple contact her

twice, after she had left--first, to beg her to come back, and

second, to ask if she needed any kind of assistance, because he had

heard she was moving to another apartment. She told me that she had

refused both times, and told Guru she just wanted to get on with her

life without his help. This woman whom Guru was offering to help, was

the same " hostile ex-disciple " I was thrown out of the Center for

having a phone conversation with. Rather contradictory, I thought.

But then, contradiction and double standards seem to be the order of

the day in the Sri Chinmoy Center.

 

What I felt was very heartless and psychologically hostile,

was being dismissed over the phone, not by Guru personally, but

through his messenger--after leaving my government job, and native

country at his request, and building my life around his teachings and

philosophy for the past 23 years. Although, the manner in which I was

rusticated seemed to further confirm that what I heard was true. What

better way to silence me, than to kick me out and label me " negative "

or " hostile, " and threaten the same fate for any disciple who dares

speak to me? However, now I'm sincerely glad that I'm free, if all it

was, was dependence, fear, and deception.

 

" Truth to tell, " to suspiciously quote my ex-guru, I sensed

that there was something very wrong, many years ago--although on Sri

Chinmoy's path, one is conditioned not to listen to their rational

mind, but just to accept everything he says as God's will.

 

The first time I received a warning from him, was after attending his

meditations in Australia for two years, and spending a large amount

of money to open a " divine enterprise " to " manifest " him, as well as

running a few marathons, also to " manifest " him, before ever seeing

him in the flesh. Which demonstrates the kind of blind faith that I

had in him--if only I had used more discrimination back then! But I

suppose it was all meant to be, and certainly I have no regrets.

 

I had complained with a friend, about our authority-reveling, power-

loving, control-obsessed Center Leader, who was always trying to lord

it over us, in the name of " Guru. " We complained, saying we found her

unreasonable, that she was making it difficult for us to aspire and

grow spiritually--and that was putting it politely! The message we

got from our compassionate, loving master was " If you criticize her

again, you'll be out. " Whoops, sorry, I guess we'll just shut up and

eat crow?

 

I felt at the time, that he was just testing our faith, but later I

realized that I was in denial and just finding excuses for a seeming

lack of oneness, love and compassion on his part.

 

It wasn't until many years later--after he was forced to kick her out

for a few months, for slapping, or punching another disciple--that he

may have realized our complaints weren't totally unreasonable or

unfounded. That was the first time something was trying to tell me,

that my guru might not be what or who I supposed him to be. But I

refused to listen, instead blaming it on my own lack of patience.

 

I came to New York once in 1981, once in 1982, and again in 1983 for

his April Celebrations, to celebrate his coming to America.

 

I admit, I enjoyed my early years in the Center, because back then,

there was not as much emphasis on collecting money from disciples, or

desperately trying to promote him to the media, or naming streets,

parks, buildings, national landmarks, airports, or countries after

him, in the name of peace.

 

I also enjoyed running--which plays a large role on his path-

-for about eight years, until I seriously, physically burnt out from

over-racing, due to the pressure of his " too much is never enough "

self-transcendence philosophy. Even to this day I still suffer from

physical problems, for which I need surgery, incurred as a result of

that fanatical overexertion, I was psychologically pressured to

participate in, because of my running ability.

 

Even though he is quoted as saying: " our only real competition is

ourselves " it seemed obvious that he reveled in the " outer "

competition, such as beating certain girls in races, and initiating

competitions in everything from singing, to plays, to memorizing his

poetry. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with friendly

competition per se--but I started to see small contradictions--

contradictions that would grow as the years passed.

 

When I came in April 1983, for the April Celebrations (his

anniversary of coming to the US), he encouraged me to run in various

ultra events. After doing well in a lot of races, and winning along

with my disciple team-mates-the TAC National 50 Mile Team

Championship -- he told me not to worry about my government job, back

in Australia, but to stay " because your soul wants to be in New York. "

 

He gave me a job at the " divine enterprise " disciple barber shop,

where I was taught to cut hair. The guy there before me had gone

crazy and I was replacing him. No wonder he went crazy--I had to

put up with the constant, ridiculous noises of three video arcade

machines, plus foul-mouthed high school kids, who played hooky every

day to hang out in the barber shop.

 

After a year or more of putting up with this, I complained, and Sri

Chinmoy, made him get rid of two of the video games. I had also

complained about the $85--6 day per week, salary, and was told

I could go down to five days per week, but I had to sell Sri

Chinmoy's books to city bookstores on the sixth day.

 

At first I was so grateful, not to have to work the six day week, for

the low salary. So I sold books for about six months, which I really

disliked because I am not the salesman type. Then I just stopped,

although I felt I was still entitled to $85 for five days per week,

plus the free breakfasts and lunch at the disciple luncheonette, but

I remember feeling very guilty at first.

 

One day I was complaining to a fellow disciple as I was cutting his

hair, saying that I might return to Australia because I wasn't really

into being a barber, but seeing as though Guru had told me my soul

wanted to be in NY, and he had chosen the barber job for me--I felt

very confused and fearful, about going against my own soul. (He has

often warned of severe karmic consequences for those going against

their soul's wishes e.g. cancer, blindness etc.)

 

Anyway, a few days later, I received another message from Sri

Chinmoy: " Guru says you're illegal here, and he is giving you

shelter, and you should be grateful, and if you ever go back to

Australia without asking his permission, you will be put out of the

Center. "

 

I was shocked.. But again, because I believed that he was God's

mouthpiece, I thought that I was in the wrong. I realized I had to be

careful not to express my own frankness and honesty, and I felt that

I couldn't trust anyone.

 

I was always bewildered why a God-realized master needed his

disciples to inform on their brother or sister disciples. I thought

such a master would have the spiritual insight to know about his own

disciples--whose physical faces, he says, appear in front of him,

every time they meditate on his transcendental picture.

 

His answer to that was that God does not allow him to open his third

eye for trivial matters. But if they are so trivial--why does he

instruct his own disciples to spy on each other? This kind of

spying and reporting on each other is no different than a

totalitarian dictatorship, or communist regime--i.e. control over

others using fear, which is totally opposed to the basic human rights

of freedom and democracy that America, and the free world represent.

It also creates separation, division and fear--not love, trust, or

oneness. Such a practice cannot stem from love.

 

But Sri Chinmoy has an answer for everything--saying that if

a patient is sick, then it is each disciple's duty to bring the

patient, to the attention of the doctor, who will administer the

necessary medicine. If a doctor can't recognize a sick person who is

right in front of him, I don't think I would have much confidence in

the skill of the doctor. And besides, Sri Chinmoy's medicine is

usually throwing that disciple out of the Center-like he did with me

and many others, who were brave enough to question his methods, or

knew too much of his other side. Is being without a guru the right

spiritual medicine? (Twenty years later, I'm finding out that it is!)

How can you have love and oneness when everyone is secretly looking

over their shoulders to see what their brothers or sisters are doing

wrong? This is not love or oneness--it breeds the same kind of

suppression and fear that existed in pre-Perestroika USSR, and

Eastern Europe.

 

Ironically enough, Sri Chinmoy's long-sought-after friend--Mikhail

Gorbachev, to whom he has given countless dollars of his disciple's

money--stood for the very opposite of the kind of control and

suppression that exists in the Sri Chinmoy Center.

 

Individualism and self-expression is something which is not

encouraged in the Sri Chinmoy Center. On the contrary--conformity,

and unquestioning obedience is the order of the day.

 

Anyway, I continued to work at the barber shop for two more years,

before I complained to the owner once again, about my low wage. He

took my complaint to Sri Chinmoy, and a few days later my boss told

me: " Guru is replacing you, you have to leave. Someone else will be

taking your place. " So I asked my boss if Guru had anything else in

mind for me, since I had three years ago, given up my secure,

government job in Australia to heed his request and move to New York

to work as a barber--but he told me Guru had not said anything

regarding that.

 

Because, at that stage I had grown accustomed to life in New York, I

did not want to return to Australia, plus the fact that I had more

friends in NY than I did in Australia. So I stayed and worked at

odd jobs, doing construction here and there, just to get by.

 

Another time, a disciple was encouraging me to write expressions for

Sri Chinmoy's poetry. " Guru needs 200 expressions per week. You're a

writer, you should write expressions. " I told him that I didn't

understand why a self-realized master needed his disciples to help

him write poetry, as poetry to me, was a very personal expression.

The next day I received another warning: " If you criticize Guru

again, he'll send you back to Australia. " Whoops, sorry I asked

another question that couldn't be answered.

 

But I have to be fair--Sri Chinmoy's philosophy on the path to God-

realization does have many valid and lofty ideals. But then again--

can a path--in the form of an organization, with rules etc., created

by another, really lead one to their own highest self? Because a

path, implies time and distance--physical concepts, that are surely

outside the realm of the Self.

 

Meditation, I feel is essential. But meditation on a photograph or a

person, seems to only breed dependence and attachment to something

external. To realize one's inner Self, must one depend on something

or someone outside oneself? I don't want to be dependent on another

for my own spiritual experiences, unless that someone is God, Itself.

 

I admit meditating with him, brought peace and light, but for me it

was no more helpful, then watching a good pianist perform.

 

It's all well and good to receive inspiration, but in the end, it is

I who need to practice alone at home--silently in meditation. And

because learning to play piano is very much a mental, technical, and

external pursuit, a teacher is very helpful, but self-discovery, on

the other hand, is surely something entirely different, as the name

implies--an inner pursuit, a discovery of the self by the self. How

can another help--except of course the Creator of the self? And

that's what makes it different from all other pursuits, where one

seeks the help of a coach or teacher. Can a spiritual teacher ever

claim " I taught them how to realize God " ?

 

Self-transcendence was one aspect, that I embraced for many years, in

the form of running marathons, until I became burned-out from the

serious consequences of over-exertion, which I still suffer from

until this day. An emphasis on the integration of body and spirit

were first taught at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram where Sri Chinmoy

lived for twenty years, and were not his original idea. Even his

annual sports day, circus and parade , I was told, were part of

life at that ashram.

 

Sri Chinmoy's philosophy of love, devotion and surrender, (together

with the " manifestation " of him, as a direct representative of God

on earth, and the transformation of humanity at God's choice hour) is

partially drawn from his own Hindu religion's teaching from the

Bhagavad Gita, except, unlike the Gita, where Krishna encourages

Arjuna's doubtful questioning--Sri Chinmoy commands unquestionable

obedience, and compliance.

 

In fact, displaying doubt or questioning Sri Chinmoy's motives is not

tolerated, and will quickly get you kicked off his path--even though

there would not have been a Bhagavad Gita, were it not for Arjuna's

doubt and questioning of his guru's motives, who wanted him to fight

and kill his own kin.

 

Another aspect of Sri Chinmoy's path that never made a lot of sense,

even in the spirit of self-transcendence, was his fixation on

quantity, and not on quality. Anybody whoever was, or still is a

disciple knows that he is obsessed with numbers. By the way, isn't

this a mental concept?

 

Much of his outer path consists of an emphasis on numbers:

 

He is fanatically concerned with details of the temporal, outer

world. How many disciples have been recruited? How many bird drawings

he has done? How many poems? How many paintings? How many books he

has compiled (many are four lines to a page)? How many years in the

West? How many one-arm lifts? How many push-ups? How long is his

stride length? How much do his biceps measure? How many years has one

been a disciple to compete in sports day, come to celebrations, go on

a Christmas trip etc. etc.? How many Sri Chinmoy Peace Blossom

Nations are there?

 

When is the anniversary of his weightlifting, playing the flute,

playing the cello, playing the esraj, playing the piano etc. etc.

(all of which technically he is little better than a beginner) ? " Love

offerings " (cash donations) are sometimes asked for in numerical

quantities, pertaining to " divine numbers " such as, $7,$13,$27,$47,

$70,$77, and more, or multiples thereof. Every time there is a

meeting, there are several requests to give money, or buy a book of

aphorisms--usually four lines to a page, fifty pages for $10. (I

shudder thinking about the disappearing rainforests, but caring for

our environment is something that Sri Chinmoy has never encouraged)

For a path that is supposedly " in the heart " and discourages,

suppresses and even discards the mind, there sure is a lot of number-

counting going on, particularly if it is collecting and counting cash.

 

Anyway, you get the picture. Is it really unreasonable to question,

that which constantly seem like contradictions? Vivekananda

questioned his guru, Sri Ramakrishna, and even told him he thought he

was a crazy person, and didn't believe that he was God-realized.

Arjuna questioned Lord Krishna, before the battle of Kurukshetra,

because he did not understand how any good could come from killing

his own relatives. And Sri Chinmoy, has supposedly said that he was

Arjuna in a previous incarnation!

 

But what is shaping up to be the biggest contradiction of all, are

the stories coming from Sri chinmoy's former female disciples who say

they were involved with him sexually.

 

Aside from associating with " ex-disciples " or questioning the master,

the most common grounds for instant dismissal is anything pertaining

to a " lower vital " attraction between the sexes. Many years ago I had

heard rumors floating around that Sri Chinmoy and Alo Devi, had

initially been lovers, but I dismissed these as the wild imaginings

of people who were suppressing their sexuality, and also perhaps

because of my conditioning, even though I could not help but notice

an extremely familial relationship between the pair.

 

It wasn't until September 2001, that I was told of the secret

sexual occurrences that allegedly went on between master and

disciples in the basement and private bedrooms of Sri Chinmoy's

house in suburban Jamaica ,Queens, and in the hotel rooms, during the

three months long " Christmas Trips, " in exotic locations throughout

the world.

 

Supposedly back in 1968, Guru had told, " S " his secretary--who lived

opposite him on his street--that Lord Krishna had appeared to him and

wanted him to have gopi's (Krishna's milkmaids whom he reportedly

made love with) just like he had. She, and another woman (his other

secretary--although he never told them about each other) were

specially divinely chosen, and they were never to tell anyone.

 

Anyway " S " eventually told her disciple-friend, " A " about her

divine relationship, but then felt sorry for disobeying him, so she

told Guru, who soon after dismissed " A " from the Center. While her

friend was away, the non-disciple husband of " S " was informed by a

close neighbor of Sri Chinmoy, that his wife, " S " was frequenting

Sri Chinmoy's house alone, very late at night, every time he went

away on business trips. The husband was furious, and apparently threw

rocks at Guru's house, smashing windows, and soon after moved out of

the neighborhood, taking his wife.

 

As " A " had not told her secret to anyone, during the nine months she

was out, and because she had written many devoted letters to Guru

asking to return, she was allowed back. Afraid to be kicked out

again, " A " decided to keep quiet, and turned a blind eye to the

tell-tale signs of what she suspected was a sexual liaison between

the other secretary and the master--one time even finding a pair of

the master's white underpants, stuffed in the secretary's desk drawer!

" A " told me that she put this out of her mind--in a form of

unconscious denial--for many years until 1991, when quite by accident

she asked a girlfriend " P " , how she enjoyed her time with Guru in San

Francisco, who interestingly enough, had paid for her travel and

accommodation to attend his peace concert. By the way she phrased the

question, her friend, " P " , thought she was also--or had been,--a

member of the secret gopi club--so she told her all about her first

sexual experience with her guru--only to discover they both had their

wires crossed!

 

Although " A " was not that shocked, only a little surprised to

find that the master's secret gopi's had actually grown in numbers

over the years. Anyway, a few years later " A " married and left with a

male disciple.

 

In September, 2001, " P " left the Center, and recently told me about

Sri Chinmoy's secret sex club, which by all accounts includes him

with multiple women, lesbianism, and as she and others suspect,

possibly homosexuality!

 

It was for alerting a fellow disciple about these practices that I

was dismissed from the Sri Chinmoy Center, so coldly over the phone.

I understand how it is extremely difficult to believe that Sri

Chinmoy secretly practices the same kind of " lower vital " behavior

which he vehemently opposes for his disciples. He is always espousing

purity, and transcendence of sex, as absolutely essential, if one is

to be on his path. He has said that purity must first be established

in the being before any other spiritual quality or high experience

can take place. And he has spent hours on stage singing devotional

songs, his expression enveloped in a beatific smile, his eyes

emanating light and purity.

 

Even now, in spite of the many stories of his secret sexual actives,

I have a difficult time believing that it is true. But also he has

apparently told these women, that when it's with him it is not human

sex, that he is giving them his life breath, which is pure. I'm

even OK with that, but why keep it a secret from the majority of his

disciples? It only creates division, doubt, and many other

psychological problems. For me, it's the deception--not so much the

sex, that is so harmful.

 

Aside from Sri Chinmoy's alleged sexual exploits, there were also

some other allegations of sexual molestation involving disciple

children. A younger friend of mine, (who is the son of a current

disciple), who grew up in the Sri Chinmoy Center from the age

of seven, one day confided in me that, as a child he was sexually

molested by an an adult, male disciple who is still the leader of

one of the American Sri Chinmoy Centers.

 

He told me that it traumatized him greatly and he never told anyone

for over ten years, until 1999 when he finally had the courage

to tell his father, who wrote to Sri Chinmoy telling of his son's

ordeal.

 

The reply he and father received from Sri Chinmoy was silence. Guru

did not even respond--not even to admonish this " close disciple " of

this serious criminal offense which is punishable in the eyes of the

law. And because his father is still very much conditioned by the

path--he accepted that, convincing himself that Sri Chinmoy took care

of it " inwardly. "

 

The son told me before this unfortunate incident happened, that he

had looked up to that Center Leader, as a role model. But after that

experience, it destroyed all the faith he had in the Sri Chinmoy

Center, and in the spiritual life.

 

Another incident occurred with the daughter of a woman, who is still

a disciple. Her daughter was only fourteen years old, when she was

sexually molested by an adult male disciple. The male disciple had

been assigned to tutor the woman's children, with the full approval

of Guru. The fourteen year old girl reported the incident to Sri

Chinmoy, but was told that she was the one to blame!

 

There are also incidents of disciple's dying--in an effort to

please their Guru. Although I am not saying that Sri Chinmoy is

directly to blame for their deaths. One of these incidents occurred

many years ago. An eager, enthusiastic disciple, unfortunately

drowned while practicing an underwater act, for the Madal Circus,

the amateur (and often ridiculous) bi-annual circus that is held in

honor of the master. I believe he was only in his twenties.

 

Another male disciple died, after having a heart attack while running

in a one mile race in the bi-annual Sri Chinmoy Masters Games. It was

a very hot day, and he collapsed on the track behind me during the

one mile race. He was revived by the EMS, but sadly, after spending

three weeks in a coma at the local hospital, and contrary to Sri

Chinmoy's prediction that he would survive, he finally died. He was

only 45 years old.

 

I also remember working on the promotion for one of the Sri Chinmoy's

Peace Concerts, back in 1984, when a relatively new disciple from

Boston, caught up in the atmosphere of devotional enthusiasm to

please the master, took out a life insurance policy with the Sri

Chinmoy Center as the benefactor, then committed suicide by jumping

off a Manhattan skyscraper.

 

Again, I am not blaming Sri Chinmoy for these unfortunate deaths.

However, from personal experience, I see how one can easily get

caught up in the fanatical pursuit of pleasing the master--which

is the whole driving force behind being a good disciple, on Sri

Chinmoy's path.

 

I thought running was a relatively safe activity--but, with

Guru ever-encouraging his disciples to " transcend, " and without any

words of caution, many disciples like myself, started incurring very

serious physical problems. Some were even hospitalized, in serious

life-threatening conditions, after long distance events, such as the

NYC Marathon, where he urges 300-400 disciples to compete, all

wearing T-shirts with his name emblazoned. The pressure to compete

in the annual NYC Marathon is so great, that even those who do not

even train daily, run the 26.2 mile distance just to please him.

 

I was competing in races sometimes six times per month, and three

marathons per year were a minimum. He once said there was no reason

why we could not run one marathon per month! He told me and several

others, that we had the capacity to run under 2hrs30min within one

year. So we all killed ourselves training for the NYC Marathon.

 

After running the Chicago Marathon (2hr36min) and NYC Marathon

(2hr32m) one week apart, trying to beat the deadline of running under

2hr30m, set by my guru,--I had blood in my urine. The following day I

came down with a serious flu, and a huge abscess formed on my right

leg. After being tested, they found another abscess on my right

kidney, and said I was deficient in iron and B vitamins. I still have

not been able to afford to have the surgery to remove the abscess on

my kidney, which also frequently causes other external smaller

abscesses. I have endured this health problem since 1986, since

trying to obey my guru, who said I should run under 2hr30min for the

marathon.

 

His prediction for us to run under 2hr30min did not come

true, that year. But for that matter many of his predictions also did

not come to pass. He predicted to his disciples that he himself would

break the world record for 100 meters! He predicted that something

bad would happen to former President George Bush, within a certain

time after his presidency, he predicted something similar for O.J.

Simpson. More recently he predicted that one of his Russian disciples

has the capacity to run under 2 hrs for the marathon this year. Only

one of his predictions that I know about came true--in 1989 he

predicted that the Berlin Wall would come down within 40 years, and

it came down a few months later. There are also many other

predictions of his that did not come true.

 

Back in 1969 he watched the first Apollo moon landing on television,

with a room-full of his disciples, and remarked that he could see

many invisible " moon beings " greeting the astronauts, as they walked

on the moon. He told his disciples that if they opened their third

eye, like him, they would also see them. That conversation, (like

most other esoteric or spiritual) was recorded and printed in a book.

 

But then earlier this year, after he watched a Fox special on the

conspiracy of the first moon landing, he said that the consulted the

soul of the moon, and it told him that no astronauts had ever set

foot on it's surface. When he was reminded of the paragraph in the

book, where he talks about the moon landing, he replied that he was

miss-quoted! Hmm?

 

Now looking from the outside at the group I was involved in for

exactly half my life, I am able to see with considerably more

clarity. I saw how discipline brought about conflict and mental

fragmentation, because one is forcing oneself to oppose oneself.

Instead of conformity bringing freedom, it brought me fear and

oppression. The repetition of the path, e.g. endless " functions "

brought about depression, and a dull and insensitive mind. I became a

puppet, a lifeless spectator--always watching the master.

 

" Manifestation, " or actions initiated usually by the guru and for the

guru, without any individual self-expression, made me mechanical,

dull, and insensitive. Dependence on the guru made me insecure,

fearful, and unimpowered. The repetitious, mechanical, and

suppressing nature of life on the path, at one stage made me so

depressed, that I even considered suicide.

 

Now I see how any system of belief, such as the Sri Chinmoy Center,

really only serves one person--it's creator. The system or

organization becomes the all-important reality, at the expense of the

individual, who--as I found out--is completely expendable. The path,

like a corporation, will continue--with the " love offerings " from the

disciples. I came because I wanted to realize God. I did not think I

would be deceived.

 

I suppose the reason for writing this is my expression in my search

for Truth. I do not intend to return to the life of ignorance or

desire. I feel happy and comfortable in my aloneness--because in

it I feel God's presence.

 

As Christ uttered: " Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone, "

And I know I am far from perfection, but I sincerely strive to be

better. I can forgive others, as others, and God have forgiven me. I

am not angry, because I have learnt detachment, and I feel I have

gained so many rewarding friendships from being in the Sri Chinmoy

Center.

 

It would perhaps be beneficial if Sri Chinmoy read this. He

is not an evil person, and I do not believe that he consciously

meant to cause psychological harm--but nevertheless it is a reality

in some of the people that have been closely connected with him for

many years.

 

Because there are many " ex-disciples " and even present disciples, who

are feeling, confused, depressed, angered, and even psychologically

damaged. He can help these people, and himself, by revealing the

truth. And I am sure eventually he will be forgiven.

 

Personally I am detached, and do not need his words, but I feel it

would help tremendously overall in the healing process.

 

I just wish truth would prevail, so that others will not remain

psychologically traumatized by their experience in the Sri Chinmoy

Center. My close friend, whom I knew many years before we became Sri

Chinmoy's disciples, sometimes has sudden angry outbursts towards

other disciples, during their meditation meetings. He was a more

balanced and sincere person before he became a disciple, and

never acted so erratically.

 

Even the woman with the second highest status in the group, often

looks tortured, imbalanced and unhappy. And Alo Devi, the woman

who frequently sits alongside Sri Chinmoy at functions, often looks

like she is sedated--her head bent over in sleep.

 

But, because essentially we are all one in the struggle of life -- in

the end, I only have love and forgiveness for everyone, even though I

may be labeled " negative " or " hostile, " in the eyes of the Sri

Chinmoy Center. And if I was deceived--I hope I will be illumined, or

forgiven--as the case may be--because, after all, I am only human.

 

Testimonial of false guru Sri Chinmoy's ex-disciple (Artur Smith)

Sri_Chinmoy_Information/message/24

[Guest guest]

shriadishakti , " jagbir singh "

<adishakti_org> wrote:

>

>

> Dear All,

>

> i regard this testimonial from Artur Smith, an ex-disciple of the

> false guru Sri Chinmoy, a must-read.

>

> Throughout this forum i have always insisted that we must learn to

> be our own gurus, always demand/provide evidence of Shri Mataji's

> divinity, and cherish the freedom to criticize in order to maintain

> and protect the Dharma.

>

> May all of us learn from Artur Smith and work to safeguard the

> message of Shri Mataji for future generations to come. May Artur

> Smith heal in mind, body and spirit. May this Dark Night of Kali

> Yuga end soon.

>

> jagbir

>

>

> ------------------------------

>

> " And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. " -

> Jesus Christ

>

> My feelings after being dismissed from the Sri Chinmoy Center.

>

> This is an effort to know the truth......

>

> In September, 2001, " P " left the Center, and recently told me about

> Sri Chinmoy's secret sex club, which by all accounts includes him

> with multiple women, lesbianism, and as she and others suspect,

> possibly homosexuality!

>

> It was for alerting a fellow disciple about these practices that I

> was dismissed from the Sri Chinmoy Center, so coldly over the

> phone. I understand how it is extremely difficult to believe that

> Sri Chinmoy secretly practices the same kind of " lower vital "

> behavior which he vehemently opposes for his disciples. He is

> always espousingpurity, and transcendence of sex, as absolutely

> essential, if one is to be on his path. He has said that purity

> must first be established in the being before any other spiritual

> quality or high experience can take place. And he has spent hours

> on stage singing devotional songs, his expression enveloped in a

> beatific smile, his eyes emanating light and purity.

>

> Even now, in spite of the many stories of his secret sexual

> actives, I have a difficult time believing that it is true. But

> also he has apparently told these women, that when it's with him it

> is not human sex, that he is giving them his life breath, which is

> pure. I'm even OK with that, but why keep it a secret from the

> majority of his disciples? It only creates division, doubt, and

> many other psychological problems. For me, it's the deception--not

> so much the sex, that is so harmful......

>

> Testimonial of false guru Sri Chinmoy's ex-disciple (Artur Smith)

> Sri_Chinmoy_Information/message/24

>

 

 

i just got this from an ex-disciple of this satanic guru who, like

Sai Baba, also claims to be God Almighty:

 

" Sorry my friends , I dont understand this discussion- to (have a)

guru or not to (have a) guru. What a hell it has to do with

chinmoy ??? It is like somebody with cancer or broken leg ends up

being treated by a butcher or plumber who never got chance to study

medicine though always wished to. Then in heaven or hell, discussing

the sense of medicine.

 

Hallo ! Brothers and sisters , wake up. "

 

Okoyemaya