Sri Chinmoy, a pervert claiming to be One with God the Almighty

[Guest guest]

" My personal experience with CKG came after I had been celibate

for 10 years. I had been getting in shape by bicycling and suddenly

he started giving me special attention. Out of the blue, he invited

me to join a group trip out of New York for a peace concert near San

Francisco. When I said I didn't have money, he even offered to pay

for me. After the concert, G., a leader in the California area,

approached me and said that CKG wanted me to go to his room, she gave

me a piece of paper with the room number.

 

" I nervously went to the room. I was thinking that I had been

invited to a special function. I never dreamed that it was for sex.

After a short interview about my previous sexual experiences, CKG

said that I should surrender my vital to him. I folded my hands,

looked him in the eyes and offered him my joy but he indicated that

this wasn't enough, so I said " Supreme I bow to thee " a few times. He

stood up and had me embrace him, I hugged him, feeling very warm and

loving, not aroused. Then he told me to take off my clothes. I

realized that he wanted sex and I was shocked!! But, after 10 years

of adoration, I could not even consider displeasing or disobeying him

in a seemingly compassionate request.

 

So I took off my Sari and everything else and he removed his dhoti.

Then he sat in a chair in his underwear and motioned me to come

towards him. I knelt between his legs and embraced him again. He

said " touch me " I started rubbing him gently over his underwear. He

pulled them down and motioned me to continue. I felt an erection and

then, I felt his hand pressing my head down between his legs. In my

nervousness, I felt silly. Here was my beloved Guru, who I had never

dreamed of having sex with, wanting a blow-job! It was like a surreal

dream.

 

After a few minutes, he motioned for me to move back and he asked me

which way I liked best, on top or underneath. I couldn't believe it,

he still barely seemed to have an erection. I said I liked to be

underneath and he pushed me backwards onto the floor. I had to help

him insert his penis, which was only partially erect and quite small

and he started pushing it into me. After a few more minutes, I felt a

small squirt and then he abruptly got up. Afterward, as I was

dressing, he said to me that he was very pleased with me and very

proud of me and that I must never tell anyone. He said that I was

specially chosen, that this was not sex but that this was his life

breath he was giving me. He also mentioned that if anything happened,

i.e., pregnancy, I should not even tell him but go immediately to a

clinic for an abortion. Then he went and got an envelope from a

drawer and gave me 15 clean, new $100 bills, enough to pay for my

flight and much more.

 

" Having spent the last 10 years worshiping CKG as a God and never

thinking about him in a sexual way, I was in total shock, which

lasted for a few days. However, I didn't question all this, I

accepted what was happening. I was happy to be able to have sex and

thought I should feel honored but, after this experience, I had

nagging doubts about CKG and it became a constant mental battle to

justify his behavior. Although I felt the sex was unnatural,

mechanical and not what I would have expected with a realized soul, I

satisfied myself by thinking that this was his human side and perhaps

I was not as receptive as I should be because of being too nervous. I

was called to CKG's house several times during the months that

followed before the calls stopped.

 

" Due to the emotional upheaval caused by all this, In the fall of

the next year, I left the Center with another disciple. I was out of

the Center for a few years but I didn't change my beliefs. During

this period I told my partner about my secret sex with CKG and he

hinted to me that he too was involved, not only with CKG but that CKG

had directed him to be involved with other people. The time came when

my partner begged to return to the Center. I had misgivings, but I

also returned and over the next several years I became aware that

there were many women having sex with CKG and that there were signs

that he was also having sex with men.

 

" The first time that I was called for sex after my return was in

Japan. CKG asked me to first write him a letter. I wrote something

devotional but it wasn't what he wanted. He said I had to put details

about my desire for him and explain sexual things that I had done

together with my partner while I was out of the Center. After that,

CKG called me for sex once or twice a year in New York and usually

once during the Christmas trips.

 

" Then, a few years ago I got a call at work from CKG, he wanted

to introduce me to a new way to have " relations " - with women. He had

me come over to his house with another woman. The first time, we had

sex together downstairs, in the basement, while he waited in another

room upstairs. Then the other woman went upstairs and CKG came and

had sex with me. He told me that I must never talk to anyone about

these trysts or relations, as he called it and that I must act as if

I had never been intimate with him. At other times, we had sex on the

floor while he sat on a chair and watched. I also started seeing the

same woman on a regular schedule, once a month, at her home. This is

something I am not proud of because I really wasn't comfortable with

her and although I felt loving, sisterly feelings, the sex was

unnatural for me. Also, I had gotten cold sores from her. This was

very embarrassing but it also made me realize that these activities

were not limited to a small, select group. I noticed that many of the

women, as well as the men in the Center had similar, active, cold

sores.

 

" After some months, CKG arranged for me to be with a different

woman, this one I saw once a week. Even though we were intimate, CKG

told me that I must act as if it was my first time with a woman and

that we should never discuss our other sexual experiences. The second

woman was really fun to be with and I enjoyed it. However, I didn't

want to change my identity and I was starting to feel that I would

lose it. The relationship with the second woman started to slow down

and CKG asked me to select my next partner. I couldn't let myself do

this, I didn't want to think of women that way. I wanted to have sex

with men and I told this to CKG but he said that it was not possible

because I would fall in love, so a new woman was selected for me. "

 

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