Ana, please look into this.

[Guest guest]

Dear Ana,

 

i have received an email to improve the categories and am really

thankful for the suggestions. i agree they enhance/clarify better.

 

Since i am really very busy setting up the new forum, tranfering files

to the new server, and ironing some glitches please look into these

rewording and make the necessary changes at the new forum. (Please

note that the " /forum " link may be changed to " /sahaja_yoga_forum "

soon - will inform as soon as this change is made.)

 

Ana, there are just a few changes that has been suggested in order to

improve the flow, clarity and accurate grammatical/phraseological

rendition of the English language.

 

The " Present format " below indicates the way the words are " worded " at

present on the Forum Index.

 

The " Suggested change " underneath, indicates the suggestions for

change.

 

Ana, if you are unsure if you prefer the " Present format " or would

rather have the " Suggested change " , just read both sentences to

yourself and see which one " flows " better and is easier to read and

understand. That will be your best guide as to how new people to the

forum will best understand what each forum is really about.

 

 

 

 

A./ Present format:- An Invitation to Paradise: The Metamodern Era -

(1st Paragraph)

 

" Explanatory articles about Sahaja Yoga method and vision and about

the projects realised or by Shri Mataji and the Sahaja Yogis "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Explanatory articles about the Sahaja Yoga method, vision, and the

projects realised or initiated by Shri Mataji and the Sahaja Yogis "

 

Edits were:- (4 edits)

 

1./ (method, vision and about the projects realised " ) sounds better

than ( " method and vision and about the projects realised) which has

too many " ands " in it to flow well.

2./ (word " initiated " left out) after the words " projects realised or

.

3./ the word " the " placed in front of the words " Sahaja Yoga method

and vision " (English rendition)

4./ the word " about " in front of the phrase " the projects realised "

deleted. (the word " about " only needs to be used once)

 

 

 

 

 

B./ Present format:- An Invitation to Paradise: The Metamodern Era -

(3rd Paragraph)

 

" Sahaj Books and magazines " (TITLE)

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Sahaj Books and Magazines " (TITLE)

 

Edit was - (1 edit)

 

1./ the word " magazines " needs to be capitalized as it is part of a

title.

 

 

 

 

C./ Present format:- The Ascent of the Whole - (1st Paragraph)

 

" Forum to define and to discover together the need to collective

ascent and integration, the present times call for "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Forum to define and to discover together the need for collective

ascent and integration that the present times call for "

 

Edits were:- (2 edits)

 

1./ " for " is the correct preposition here. If you want to use " to " ; it

should really read this way:- " the need to collectively ascend and

integrate that the present times call for "

2./ the word " that " after the word " integration " ties the whole

sentence together and makes it flow better for easy comprehension.

 

 

 

 

 

D./ Present format:- The Ascent of the Whole - (2nd Paragraph)

 

" A place to change Information about Sahaj centers all over the world "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" A place to exchange Information about Sahaj centers all over the

world "

 

Edits were:- (1 edit)

 

1./ " exchange " is the meaning you want; to " change " Information would

be to " alter Information " whereas to " exchange " Information would be

to " share Information "

 

 

 

 

 

E./ Present format:- The Ascent of the Whole - (4th Paragraph)

 

" Forum for yogis from different parts of the world to know each other,

to strengthen the bonds within the collective and to welcome all the

seekers of truth "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Forum for yogis from different parts of the world to communicate with

each other, to strengthen the bonds within the collective and to

welcome all the seekers of truth "

 

Edit was - (1 edit)

 

1./ it is all about the word " know "

 

The word " communicate " is a more accurate meaning of how yogis will

interact with each other on a forum.

 

If you still want to use the word to " know " each other; it should read

" to get to know each other " as per below:-

 

" Forum for yogis from different parts of the world to get to know each

other, to strengthen the bonds within the collective and to welcome

all the seekers of truth "

 

 

 

 

 

F./ Present Format:- Guidance for Meditation ( TITLE)

 

" What is the Meditation? " (TITLE)

 

Suggested change:-

 

" What is Meditation? " (TITLE)

 

Edit was - (1 edit)

 

1./ Easier to read plus the English rendition would not put " the " in

front of the word " Meditation " in this context.

 

 

 

 

 

G./ Present format:- Guidance for Meditation (1st Paragraph)

 

" Forum to define the meditation on the basis of spiritual scriptures

and writings of enlightened souls "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Forum to define meditation on the basis of spiritual scriptures and

the writings of enlightened souls "

 

Edits were - (2 edits)

 

1./ the word " the " before the word " meditation " is deleted; makes the

sentence easier to read, plus the English rendition would not put

" the " in front of the word " meditation " in this context.

 

2./ the word " the " is put in front of the words " writings of

enlightened souls " (English rendition)

 

 

 

 

 

H./ Present format:- Guidance for Meditation (2nd Paragraph)

 

" Guidance in the technique of Sahaj meditation, subtle body

improvement, vibration awareness, energy protection and Self

Realization "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Guidance in the technique of Sahaj meditation, subtle body

improvement, vibrational awareness, energy protection and Self

Realization "

 

Edit was - (1 edit)

 

1./ the words " vibration awareness " should read as " vibrational

awareness "

 

 

 

 

 

I./ Present format:- Guidance for Meditation (4th Paragraph)

 

" Forum for guidance and support in enhancing the knowledge of the

Self, the capacity to introspect, to discover the meaning of life and

the Kingdom of God within "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Forum for guidance and support in enhancing the knowledge of the

Self, the capacity to introspect and the ability to discover the

meaning of life and the Kingdom of God within "

 

Edit was - (2 edits)

 

1./ added the words " and the ability " in front of the words " to

discover the meaning of life and the Kingdom of God within " to give a

more connected idea of what we are talking about here.

 

2./ Got rid of the comma as you do not need it in front of a

conjunction i.e. " and " .

 

 

 

 

 

J./ Present format:- Enlightened Culture (1st Paragraph)

 

" Forum to discover the hidden knowledge or Self- and God Realisation

reflected in world's Scriptures "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Forum to discover the hidden knowledge or Self-Realisation and/or

God-Realisation as reflected in the world's Scriptures "

 

Edit was - (3 edits)

 

1./ changed phrase " Self-and God Realisation " to " Self-Realisation

and/or God-Realisation " (for reason of clarity)

 

2./ added the word " as " in front of " reflected in the world's

Scriptures " (to create flow and clarity)

 

3./ inserted the word " the " in front of the words " world's Scriptures "

(use of English)

 

 

 

 

 

K./ Present format:- Enlightened Cullture (5th Paragraph)

 

" Forum to discover the effects of Self realisation in the healing

process and in the psychic growth "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Forum to discover the role of Self-Realisation in the healing process

and in psychic growth (i.e. pertaining to the transformaton of the

psyche, soul, or mind)

 

Edit was - (4 edits)

 

1./ Added a description of the meaning of the words " psychic growth "

with the " (i.e. pertaining to the transformation of the psyche, soul

or mind) for clarification and also to make it clear that the words

" psychic growth " are not confused with " psychic development " , as in

the popular New Age " psychic development classes " .

 

2./ replaced the word " effects " with the word " role " .

 

Using the word " effects " i think is too " clinical " a word. I know this

is about Medicine/Psychology but i don't think a person can really

reduce the process of establishing one's Self-realization to a

clinical process. This " clinical process " is alright in a clinic

situation when doctors etc. get together but at this forum, i think

the bigger picture needs to be seen. The Primordial Kundalini is not

clinical and She has a " role " and that is more respectful to Her than

saying She has an " effect " on someone, which makes Her seem like a

" thing " .

 

3./ the word Self realisation written like this " Self-Realisation "

(most important word in whole phrase; needs to stand out)

 

4./ delete the word " the " in front of the words " psychic growth "

(English rendition)

 

 

 

 

 

L./ Present format:- Technical Discussions (2nd Paragraph)

 

" Spreading Self Realisation through media " (TITLE)

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Spreading Self-Realisation through the media " (TITLE)

 

Edit was (2 edits)

 

1./ A hyphen put between " Self " and " Realisation "

 

2./ the word " the " placed in front of the word " media " (English

rendition)

 

 

 

 

 

M./ Present format:- Technical Discussions (2nd Paragraph)

 

" Forum to support the development of projects to promote Self

Realisation through media "

 

Suggested change:-

 

" Forum to support the development of projects to promote

Self-Realisation through the media "

 

Edit was (2 edits)

 

1./ a hyphen put between " Self " and " Realisation "

 

2./ the word " the " placed in front of the word " media " (English

rendition)