Guest guest Posted October 19, 2005 Report Share Posted October 19, 2005 Dear All, Since we are talking about the subject of marriage on this forum, i thought i would post an article called " Love and Letting Be " . This article tells how a person can make any relationship, marriage or otherwise, a truly loving experience. I personally do not see a real problem with marriages in Sahaja Yoga, as there is the choice to get married in Sahaja Yoga Organization or to get married outside of it. Not all Sahaja Yogis fit and/or desire to fit the criteria within the Organization that Shri Mataji has set down. However, whether we like Her ideals and protocols or not, She has set these down. i think people get upset because they think that to find a partner outside of Sahaja Yoga is less of an ideal. i don't know if Shri Mataji ever said it was less of an ideal to find a partner outside of Sahaja Yoga. The fact is, She gave both options and we can content ourselves with the fact that She approved of both of these. Sahaja Yogis have that light within, which a non-Sahaja Yogi Marriage Partner will recognize and probably also desire in their life. When that happens, they can also become a Sahaja Yogi. They receive a real blessing in life to be married to a Sahaja Yogi. Perhaps, that also is God's Will in many cases. i do not believe that to marry another Sahaja Yogi in Sahaja Yoga makes those two individuals any more special in God's eyes. If someone sees them as being more special for that reason, then that is their incorrect view of the meaning of Sahaja Yoga. All God's Children are special in His eyes. Shri Mataji liked to encourage Her Ideal in Marriage, because it was Her job to rectify everything that had gone wrong in this Kali Yuga and relationships such as Marriage was one of these. We only have to look at the divorce statistics to see that there is something wrong with the institution of Marriage today. Shri Mataji's Ideal was for a marriage to be Dharmic, whether it is to be married in Sahaja Yoga Organization to another Sahaja Yogi according to Her protocols of Dharma or to be married outside of Sahaja Yoga organization to a non-Sahaja Yoga also according to Dharma. Arranged marriages between people of differing countries, cultural and spiritual backgrounds is a big challenge. Only the surrender to the Sahaja values that Shri Mataji has taught, allows such a marriage to flourish. It may mean that the the individuals in such a marriage will be forced to grow up spiritually faster. In fact, Shri Mataji said just that. She said that She matched people to such partners that would speed up their spiritual evolution. A lot of these matches worked well and some failed and were even disastrous, but apparently a lot have worked well, which considering the divorce rates today, is good. A marriage of a Sahaja Yogi with a non-Sahaja Yogi can also be a success if the relationship is conducted in a dharmic manner and can be just as great a blessing to all around them. I do not even think that Shri Mataji came on Earth specifically for the task of Making Marriages. I think She came on Earth to declare the Divine Message. And part of that Divine Message is Dharma and the sanctity of all human relationships, of which Marriage is the most important. She saw a potential problem when She saw that Sahaja Yogis desired to marry other Sahaja Yogis and decided that nothing was to interfere and possibly impede Her Divine Mission and Message of Sahaja Yoga and the inherent Dharma needed to enter the Kingdom of God Within. Therefore, She put a stop to it and it may seem extreme but there was a perfectly good reason for it. Why? She wants Dharmic Relationships to be the norm again on Earth, especially in Marriage, which is the Foundation of the Family and of the Whole Society. The institution of Sahaja Yoga is where She first instituted these changes which She hopes will be reflected in the whole society. Her Ideals need to be seen for what they represent and to be respected. She has also said that the changes that happen in Sahaja Yogis will eventually be reflected in the Society as a whole. We must appreciate the greater picture of all this and not reduce it to its lowest denominator. We may not understand all this, but there is more at stake than marrying or not marrying a Sahaja Yogi. It is my belief that higher spiritual personalities will be born to those that hold to Dharma, whether their partner is matched in Sahaja Yoga or chosen outside of the organization of Sahaja Yoga, but who keeps to that Dharma. It is the Dharma that determines these things and God sees and knows all hearts. Sahaja Yoga is not bound by the organization; it is an organism, as the Spirit Within is not bound by the organization of Sahaja Yoga, but is the Organism of Sahaja Yoga. The Adi Shakti, if it is our Desire, will also take care of us. If we desire to have a marriage partner, we can pray to Her, and She will answer. All we need to do is surrender to God and ask Him to care for our needs. When we have our Self-Realization, Second Birth, Kundalini Awakening, or Moksha (whatever you prefer to call it), our karmas are dissolved. Therefore, there should be generally a good chance for marriage, especially as we become more Our Spirit. However, it is important to become our Highest Self/Spirit. When we become that, we also are individuals of high spiritual calibre who make good marriage partners. i hope this helps. Violet Love And Letting Be " To love a person for who he or she is - apart from our desires and projections - calls on us to wake up from our dreams and fantasies. It brings us up against the obstacles to love - all the places where we are tight or closed down inside. If you are willing to work with these obstacles, you start to open up in new ways and become more fully engaged. " To truly love people, we must first be able to let them be - let them be who they are, not who we would like them to be. True love involves loving people's being, not just their personality, their looks, or what they do for you. To do so requires a certain kind of discernment, or awareness, of who a person really is. True love never tries to tell someone who or what he or she should be. The same is true for loving yourself. You have to learn to see who you really are, behind all your thoughts and images about who you are. Though love is often shrouded in projection and imagination, it is really about truth. Truly loving calls on us to wake up and see things as they actually are, see the truth about ourselves and about the ones we love. Love is much more than showering someone with positive feelings. Many parents " drown " a child in " love " , without seeing who the child really is. They see their version of the child, and love that image. This happens between lovers as well: we may love our image of the other, or our image of ourselves when we are with that person. How to see the truth? It helps to take some time out of our busy lives every day to tune in, through meditation or just sitting quietly, to connect with who we really are, underneath our personality, underneath our mind, underneath our thoughts, emotions, and plans - everything we know or think about ourselves. Simply being present, being ourselves, feeling and contacting who we are, in a quiet, nameless way. It's also good to do this with others, to practice opening ourselves to them just as they are, without trying to make them fit into some agenda we might have. Tuning in to who another person really is - as opposed to who you would like him or her to be - is very challenging. It brings us up against obstacles: our hopes, fears, and needs, or our desire to control ourselves and everything in our surroundings. Love without awareness easily becomes distorted. It can become a tool for controlling others and can be given as a reward or withheld as a punishment for behaviour that's deemed either " good " or " bad " . But true love is never an instrument of control. It involves letting someone be. This freedom is not something passive. Instead, it involves active support and encouragement. You want someone you love to flourish in his or her own particular way, so you give this person the space to do just that. This is true nourishment. It's the opposite of " smothering with love. " Those who smother with love are not giving the loved one space to be who he or she is - they're trying to make the person an extension of themselves. To love a person for who he or she is - apart from our desires and projections - calls on us to wake up from our dreams and fantasies. It brings us up against the obstacles to love - all the places where we are tight or closed down inside. If you are willing to work with these obstacles, you start to open up in new ways and become more fully engaged. Your love is put to the test. You go through a baptism of fire and may even wonder, " Do I really have what it takes to love someone, or even love myself? " But when love is aligned with the truth, existing in the service of the truth, then it eventually conquers all - all the obstacles to being who we really are. We come out of that fire more real, more open, and truly loving. by John Welwood, Ph.D. (/post) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2005 Report Share Posted October 20, 2005 , " semirafields " <semirafields> wrote: > > Dear Violet, > The article " Love and Letting Be " that you have posted is lovely. > The problem with many relationships is that we expect the other > person to become what we think they should be, and then we get > disappointed when they do not fulfil our expectations. Often we > expect the other person to change to suit our ideals and to adapt to > our needs. Love is accepting and understanding both the faults and > virtues of ourselves and others. Only if we can accept this, can we > be at peace with ourselves and others. > Love, Semira , " Violet " <vtubb@b...> > wrote: > > > > Dear All, > > > > Since we are talking about the subject of marriage on this forum, > i thought i would post an article called " Love and Letting Be " . This > article tells how a person can make any relationship, marriage or > otherwise, a truly loving experience. > > > > I personally do not see a real problem with marriages in Sahaja > Yoga, as there is the choice to get married in Sahaja Yoga > Organization or to get married outside of it. Not all Sahaja Yogis > fit and/or desire to fit the criteria within the Organization that > Shri Mataji has set down. However, whether we like Her ideals and > protocols or not, She has set these down. > > > > i think people get upset because they think that to find a partner > outside of Sahaja Yoga is less of an ideal. i don't know if Shri > Mataji ever said it was less of an ideal to find a partner outside > of Sahaja Yoga. The fact is, She gave both options and we can > content ourselves with the fact that She approved of both of these. > > > > Sahaja Yogis have that light within, which a non-Sahaja Yogi > Marriage Partner will recognize and probably also desire in their > life. When that happens, they can also become a Sahaja Yogi. They > receive a real blessing in life to be married to a Sahaja Yogi. > Perhaps, that also is God's Will in many cases. > > > > i do not believe that to marry another Sahaja Yogi in Sahaja Yoga > makes those two individuals any more special in God's eyes. If > someone sees them as being more special for that reason, then that > is their incorrect view of the meaning of Sahaja Yoga. All God's > Children are special in His eyes. > > > > Shri Mataji liked to encourage Her Ideal in Marriage, because it > was Her job to rectify everything that had gone wrong in this Kali > Yuga and relationships such as Marriage was one of these. We only > have to look at the divorce statistics to see that there is > something wrong with the institution of Marriage today. > > > > Shri Mataji's Ideal was for a marriage to be Dharmic, whether it > is to be married in Sahaja Yoga Organization to another Sahaja Yogi > according to Her protocols of Dharma or to be married outside of > Sahaja Yoga organization to a non-Sahaja Yoga also according to > Dharma. > > > > Arranged marriages between people of differing countries, cultural > and spiritual backgrounds is a big challenge. Only the surrender to > the Sahaja values that Shri Mataji has taught, allows such a > marriage to flourish. It may mean that the the individuals in such a > marriage will be forced to grow up spiritually faster. In fact, Shri > Mataji said just that. She said that She matched people to such > partners that would speed up their spiritual evolution. A lot of > these matches worked well and some failed and were even disastrous, > but apparently a lot have worked well, which considering the divorce > rates today, is good. > > > > A marriage of a Sahaja Yogi with a non-Sahaja Yogi can also be a > success if the relationship is conducted in a dharmic manner and can > be just as great a blessing to all around them. > > > > I do not even think that Shri Mataji came on Earth specifically > for the task of Making Marriages. I think She came on Earth to > declare the Divine Message. And part of that Divine Message is > Dharma and the sanctity of all human relationships, of which > Marriage is the most important. > > > > She saw a potential problem when She saw that Sahaja Yogis desired > to marry other Sahaja Yogis and decided that nothing was to > interfere and possibly impede Her Divine Mission and Message of > Sahaja Yoga and the inherent Dharma needed to enter the Kingdom of > God Within. Therefore, She put a stop to it and it may seem extreme > but there was a perfectly good reason for it. > > > > Why? She wants Dharmic Relationships to be the norm again on > Earth, especially in Marriage, which is the Foundation of the Family > and of the Whole Society. The institution of Sahaja Yoga is where > She first instituted these changes which She hopes will be reflected > in the whole society. Her Ideals need to be seen for what they > represent and to be respected. She has also said that the changes > that happen in Sahaja Yogis will eventually be reflected in the > Society as a whole. > > > > We must appreciate the greater picture of all this and not reduce > it to its lowest denominator. We may not understand all this, but > there is more at stake than marrying or not marrying a Sahaja Yogi. > > > > It is my belief that higher spiritual personalities will be born > to those that hold to Dharma, whether their partner is matched in > Sahaja Yoga or chosen outside of the organization of Sahaja Yoga, > but who keeps to that Dharma. It is the Dharma that determines these > things and God sees and knows all hearts. Sahaja Yoga is not bound > by the organization; it is an organism, as the Spirit Within is not > bound by the organization of Sahaja Yoga, but is the Organism of > Sahaja Yoga. > > > > The Adi Shakti, if it is our Desire, will also take care of us. If > we desire to have a marriage partner, we can pray to Her, and She > will answer. All we need to do is surrender to God and ask Him to > care for our needs. When we have our Self-Realization, Second Birth, > Kundalini Awakening, or Moksha (whatever you prefer to call it), our > karmas are dissolved. Therefore, there should be generally a good > chance for marriage, especially as we become more Our Spirit. > However, it is important to become our Highest Self/Spirit. When we > become that, we also are individuals of high spiritual calibre who > make good marriage partners. > > > > i hope this helps. > > > > Violet > > > > > > > > Love And Letting Be > > > > " To love a person for who he or she is - apart from our desires > and projections - calls on us to wake up from our dreams and > fantasies. It brings us up against the obstacles to love - all the > places where we are tight or closed down inside. If you are willing > to work with these obstacles, you start to open up in new ways and > become more fully engaged. " > > > > To truly love people, we must first be able to let them be - let > them be who they are, not who we would like them to be. True love > involves loving people's being, not just their personality, their > looks, or what they do for you. To do so requires a certain kind of > discernment, or awareness, of who a person really is. True love > never tries to tell someone who or what he or she should be. The > same is true for loving yourself. You have to learn to see who you > really are, behind all your thoughts and images about who you are. > > > > Though love is often shrouded in projection and imagination, it is > really about truth. Truly loving calls on us to wake up and see > things as they actually are, see the truth about ourselves and about > the ones we love. > > > > Love is much more than showering someone with positive feelings. > Many parents " drown " a child in " love " , without seeing who the child > really is. They see their version of the child, and love that image. > This happens between lovers as well: we may love our image of the > other, or our image of ourselves when we are with that person. > > > > How to see the truth? It helps to take some time out of our busy > lives every day to tune in, through meditation or just sitting > quietly, to connect with who we really are, underneath our > personality, underneath our mind, underneath our thoughts, emotions, > and plans - everything we know or think about ourselves. Simply > being present, being ourselves, feeling and contacting who we are, > in a quiet, nameless way. It's also good to do this with others, to > practice opening ourselves to them just as they are, without trying > to make them fit into some agenda we might have. > > > > Tuning in to who another person really is - as opposed to who you > would like him or her to be - is very challenging. It brings us up > against obstacles: our hopes, fears, and needs, or our desire to > control ourselves and everything in our surroundings. Love without > awareness easily becomes distorted. It can become a tool for > controlling others and can be given as a reward or withheld as a > punishment for behaviour that's deemed either " good " or " bad " . > > > > But true love is never an instrument of control. It involves > letting someone be. This freedom is not something passive. Instead, > it involves active support and encouragement. You want someone you > love to flourish in his or her own particular way, so you give this > person the space to do just that. This is true nourishment. It's the > opposite of " smothering with love. " Those who smother with love are > not giving the loved one space to be who he or she is - they're > trying to make the person an extension of themselves. > > > > To love a person for who he or she is - apart from our desires and > projections - calls on us to wake up from our dreams and fantasies. > It brings us up against the obstacles to love - all the places where > we are tight or closed down inside. If you are willing to work with > these obstacles, you start to open up in new ways and become more > fully engaged. Your love is put to the test. You go through a > baptism of fire and may even wonder, " Do I really have what it takes > to love someone, or even love myself? " But when love is aligned with > the truth, existing in the service of the truth, then it eventually > conquers all - all the obstacles to being who we really are. We come > out of that fire more real, more open, and truly loving. > > > > > > by John Welwood, Ph.D. > > (http://adishakti.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=447) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2005 Report Share Posted October 22, 2005 , " Violet " <vtubb@b...> wrote: > Shri Mataji liked to encourage Her Ideal in Marriage, because it was Her job to rectify everything that had gone wrong in this Kali Yuga and relationships such as Marriage was one of these. We only have to look at the divorce statistics to see that there is something wrong with the institution of Marriage today. > > > Arranged marriages between people of differing countries, cultural and spiritual backgrounds is a big challenge. Only the surrender to the Sahaja values that Shri Mataji has taught, allows such a marriage to flourish. It may mean that the the individuals in such a marriage will be forced to grow up spiritually faster. In fact, Shri Mataji said just that. She said that She matched people to such partners that would speed up their spiritual evolution. A lot of these matches worked well and some failed and were even disastrous, but apparently a lot have worked well, which considering the divorce rates today, is good. > > Dear Violet, I refer to your post on Love and Marriage and allow me to add my two cents worth to this discourse. In all the years since there have been marriages arranged in Sahaja Yoga there hasn't been statistics collected of divorce rates among people married in Sahaja Yoga. On the other hand there seems to be a lot of wishful thinking on the success rate of Sahaja Yoga marriages. As an indication here I wish to share an anecdote with you. In Ganapatipule around the year 1994, one prominent Sahaj leader, GdK, was heard publicly lamenting the low rate of success of Sahaj marriages. He cited the example of the previous years' marriages which numbered about one hundred. Apparently within the year up to the Ganapatipule seminar of 1994, sixty-six of the marriages had broken up, a failure rate of almost 70 percent, only within the first year. And that was the time when Shri Mataji was still very much personally involved in the arrangements. Perhaps we should introspect as to the reason for the high failure rate. The main reason for the failure of most Sahaj marriages is that the people getting married have not become the Spirit, they have not become the highest Self; in other words, they are not really Sahaja Yogis yet. Which brings me to another sticking point of your post which has to do with understanding what realization is. " When we have our Self-Realization, Second Birth, Kundalini Awakening, or Moksha (whatever you prefer to call it), our karmas are dissolved. " Most certainly not. In many introductory lectures, Shri Mataji has explained that when a seeker get his realization, only one strand of Kundalini rises to make the connection. It is then up to the newly realised soul to work (hard) at improving himself until eventually he gets his full connection and then his karmas might be dissolved. This process will probably take lifetimes to complete. You can listen to a video snippet of Shri Mataji talking about this at the following link: http://adishakti.org/divine_gift_to_humanity. Click on the button on Kundalini. Chandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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