Guest guest Posted May 19, 2006 Report Share Posted May 19, 2006 Dear All, As the URL for Dr. Mary Ann's article about 'THE SEARCH FOR ORIGIN' is either not opening up/or not consistently opening up, i have requested a Copy and Paste Version. Dr. Mary Ann has in response actually sent an 'expanded upon' version of the earlier document, so please enjoy! warmest regards, violet 'THE SEARCH FOR ORIGIN' On January 27th, Dr Mary Ann Ghaffurian PhD brought her doctoral thesis, The Search for Origin, up from Melbourne, to the garden enclosure at Burwood Ashram with the desire it could be offered to Sri Mataji. After several diversions, where it did not look like it was going to happen, the thesis was eventually placed outside Sri Mataji's bedroom door. The situation unfolded, vibrations quickened, and Chris Kyriacou came out from the ashram doors, as Sri Mataji finished her evening meal. 'Come quickly' he said. Mary Ann was given her book to present it to Sri Mataji, and within two minutes, was offering it at Her feet. And so completed a cycle of events that reached as far back as India Tour 1986-87, when Chris Lee of England, whom Sri Mataji had asked many times to write up a PhD thesis himself, turned to Mary Ann and said 'You're the scholar. You'll have to do it.' A yogi from Adelaide was one of the first to catch sight of the thesis as Mary Ann returned from Sri Mataji's presence back to the garden. He said; 'I can feel vibrations pouring off it'. Later that evening Mary Ann discussed the content with other yogis briefly. One commented he had learned so much about the Western standpoint in such a short time and would love to learn more. But there was one thing he found particularly interesting, and this was that although the descriptions went way back into the past and into the future, he never felt for a moment that his attention wavered to left or right, but that he was viewing all history from the standpoint of the Sushumna. Others placed their hands over the book from above, and could feel a pad-like coolness around it. BACKGROUND TO RESEARCH IN THE NEW PSYCHOLOGY OF MIND AND CONSCIOUSNESS I do not know how to express this, but it is integral to understanding the background to this thesis work: When I was 17 my Kundalini raised- beautiful, and overwhelming. It took me to my core and intensified all subsequent experiences. I had inbuilt radar, after that, to tell me what was compatible with this new energy in me and what was not. The problem was, at this time, there was no structure to support this event or its reality in our society. Culture, religion and our civilization's norms, did not have a living tradition to recognize it, much less sustain it. I felt alone. But in touch. When I closed my eyes, I could feel a cool flame coming out the top of my head and flowing streams within. As there was nothing to support this experience or the existence of such subtle phenomena in my world, I began a deep search to seek out connections. I did not have the name 'kundalini' then, and came out of the Roman Catholic environment. All I knew was that I had realized my source and was daily in contact with it. At the time, I tried many experiments. For example, if I was involved in day-to-day life, and my attention was away from the kundalini, it was as if it was not there. However, as soon as I put my attention back on to it, I could feel it like a thick vine, undulating inside of me, tickling with joy my heart-strings, and as palpable as if a tree was sprouted in there. My subsequent search into this phenomenon revealed several things. The first was I gravitated spontaneously to the wisdom of the East, the Vedas, India, and the Bhagavad Gita. The second was that the Kundalini surged to certain phrases/words, and lifted to colours in nature and art, certain minerals and stones, while Mozart, Schubert, (Trout Quintet), and various classical music pieces, like Rachmaninov's Opus 18, allowed the Kundalini to rise, dance and be free. It reverberated to the didgeridoo and revolted, or retracted, if I watched certain things, or opened certain books (e.g. Freud's work), and was both amazing companion and bane, almost, for while it was uncompromising in regards its retraction or surging to 'or 'wrong' or 'right', my ego could still intervene and choose for itself anyway. So I learnt how one chooses precisely one's path and how the way remains left open for that human choice. After all, evolution is long, and the parsing of the absolute intention, delicate-not so much human, as we would call it, but divine. Then I found Dr Carl Jung's analytical psychology and his book The Symbols of Man. From that point on, I had a career orientation: knowledge of the psyche, soul, transformation, history, art and literature, and the need to be whole. There was also another side to this too. I had been subject to this civilization's norms, which did not reflect Kundalini awakening whatsoever, and those norms were built into my psyche, born as I had been, into the colonized heart of the West. This set up a huge problematic for me personally, one that took decades to sort out, because when I took on the microcosmic problems within, I found the macrocosmic ones were in there as well. Enormous scope, cosmic in proportion, opened up, and I did not feel adequate. And so began the individual drama of dealing with Kundalini and the world. I was 19 when the full weight of this drama manifested, amidst the bliss, finding the Western civilization's structure to retain this occurrence built within me, unparalleled in its lack. _______________________________ My first full-time employment was with the Mental Health Authority under Dr John Cade, a Nobel nominee for his work on manic-depression. He gave me an inspiring position in the psychiatric world to explore the strokes of divine inspiration sometimes seen in patient's artwork and music, and to find genius in the mentally ill. This brief, with his full endorsement, led to many interesting encounters, as well as profound meetings with minds in psychosis, under the duress of depression, or struggling with schizophrenia. I was soon working with consultant psychiatrists reliant on data for diagnosis of difficult cases, and turning to symbolic content in art for help. (The basis of this work led later to lecturing at Deakin, followed by a book Visual Art as Therapy (1993), producing and scripting Visual Art as Healing (1994) at the same university.) However, I found the psychiatric world's limitations to understanding the human condition, a problem, and so at 23 took off into the rainforests of North Queensland, fasting alone in the dense jungle with the company only of fireflies, wild pigs, creatures, and Mother Nature. But I did not feel alone. I carried a bundle of books of those who had apparently touched 'cosmic consciousness' (as it was called then), happily slept under trees and stars, in rugged wilderness, or on wild coasts and shores, and was happiest in the elements and at peace. I began photographing the outback and won an international award for an image entitled 'Little Lamb Who Made Thee?' after Blake. It shows a dying lamb at the base of a giant tree, while apocalyptic skies amass behind it. What followed the 3 years of wilderness experience was a complete change, as I returned to the city and back to the mainstream. Finding a position in international publishing, a decade began - working on interesting projects with authors, editors, illustrators, and publishers with several major companies, as well as smaller ones, for educational, general fiction and non-fiction markets. One of the projects was 'The Year of Living Dangerously', which became a major film with Mel Gibson in the lead. Another was the Australian classic, 'A Fortunate Life'. I was also engaged in production with the creators of the first 'Mad Max' which some of my friends were in. Then, Sri Mataji reeled me in (there is no other way to describe it). That is another story to tell, but not now. She gave me a structure to put in place the protocols, the dharmic road, and all the things that had previously been missing from my life, and those things were considerable. It was 1985. So began a new and intense learning period, a period that required stilling the attention, going within, clearing chakras, reopening the direct conduit, ignoring the chatter - and building a bridge that was indestructible so that the Kundalini had a permanent residence and domicile. 'Give me a home among the gum trees' as we might say in Australia. In this case, there were just three major gum trees and the Kundalini used the middle one in principle, to climb, and as direct conduit to manifest. And so the divine leela spun me on as it worked me out! That is, it was working out of my system all the things that blunted and tarnished its reflection. (Forget that it is the individual working out their ascent. At a certain point you realize it's just the reverse.) At the same time, no-one is exempt from the shortcomings and limitations of their cultural baggage and conditionings. No-one. These too must be overcome. The bridge must be securely built, attention fixed, and doubtlessness exist as a fact of life. Evolution moves with this - a living flame: it cannot be corralled, nor contained by structures other than those it builds itself. And these structures, it builds within. Then finally, one is brought to the dust, and when one is finally horizontal, Kundalini appears as the shining vertical, and through it, one begins to whiff the oceanic atmosphere of freedom, at first coming from afar, that the Creation was built for, from the very beginning. And so, as it were, the genie finally comes out of the lamp. DIVINE ATTENTION ON THE THESIS PROJECT Sri Mataji spoke to me about the Miracles Book project in the early 1990s, and I began collecting and editing work, already advanced, from Switzerland. However, when I asked Sri Mataji in 1993 about this project and what she wanted done with it, she said, 'Forget the Miracle Book for now, concentrate on your thesis.' At that time, I was researching a Masters Degree on 'Outsiders' in society; those who are prophets, saints, renegades and rebels; those who try to expose entrenched cultural conditionings, develop profound spirituality, and express their genius through writing, exquisite perceptions, and the arts. Then, on discussing Carl Jung's work with Sri Mataji in Melbourne in the early 1990's, She expressed certain displeasure both about the way some of his most intimate followers twisted his ideas, and also how Jung himself was not clear on many points. 'He only got his realization at the very end of his life, anyway', she said. 'There are many inaccuracies.' It was decided I was to begin a process to clarify what was missing or incomplete, and bring the understanding up to the next era in line with the truth. This was a task not only about psychology, but also about history, civilization, technological processes, and a whole range of things. Therefore, the work went on: Little did I know how far or how deep, however, the requirement would go in the scouring of the psyche of the Western world in order to bring answers out that were lying underneath; or how far I would be pushed from within to do it. But then, we come to understand the divine only pushes us to the limit of our capacity, sometimes the very limit, before it gently draws back. If one is not prepared to give one's all, then perhaps it is better to pass the task onto someone else. I seriously could not countenance this. Now, married to an Iranian, the whole Middle East became part of the enigmatic puzzle I was deep within, which only added to the profundity and the complex issues. Twice after, when I saw Sri Mataji again, her words were: 'Where is it? " Have you got it there for me?' Once, on stage after puja in New South Wales, 1996, I had gifts of two of my paintings for Her. She took the two pictures from me, and then asked over the top of them. 'Very good. Where is your thesis? Have you got it done?' She didn't forget! At that time, I was deep in the sorting and sifting of the knowledge accumulation of the West, along with its burden on the collective psyche. I felt like I was walking on the bottom of the ocean, or burrowing to the centre of the earth, with a pipette up to the surface for air. In front of Her, with no work on the horizon complete, there was nowhere to run. She took my face in both her hands like a flower, and drew very close for a moment, 'Mm' was all she said. By this time, research had matured into a PhD, partly because of Sri Mataji's attention. My resolve for accuracy strengthened and the relationship with Kundalini intensified and rekindled. I was a resonant string that stretched from the teenage awakening experience to my mature years, as I was now past forty. When plucked, the internal bow resonated finer, and truer. I began to feel the exhilaration of coming home. Sri Mataji had been at elbow in dreams, presentiments and visitations, often when I felt used beyond all strength. Working most nights till 3, 4 or 5am in the morning, over five years or so, even while breast-feeding a baby, I landed in hospital, completely worn out with the presentiment of death. Trying not to give up, even when life itself was challenged, it was always a case of keeping quiet, gradually recouping strength, and returning to the job, even when the mere sight or thought of it filled me with dread. In time, however, the bowstring did quiver and sing again, and the twisting vine renewed, bringing with it the reconnection of youth. At the same time, there was that other task that had been underway, the clearing out of not only the psychic stables of the West, but the ones I'd inherited on account of being one of its baptized subjects in the first place. After fourteen years of study and research, from an honours degree in the late 1980s to completion of the PhD (on Sri Mataji's 80th birthday, 21 March 2003), submission occurred on the 25th of that year, and the task, at last, was complete. My birthday gift, subtly, to Sri Mataji, as I finished the job a long way from Delhi's celebrations. It is interesting to recount that the University decided that there was no one competent in Australia to assess such a cross-disciplinary and transcultural thesis (history, psychology, culture, anthropology,social science, neurology, philosophy). At the same time, the process of the years had softened my supervisor, faculty and the department,and they were eager to find assessors internationally. It finally went to professors of psychology, language literature and culture, and communications, from the United States, and Nehru University, New Delhi. My only regret is that the job was not finished earlier. Sri Mataji, I know, wanted it finished by the year 2000, at the latest, and I felt acutely early 2001, as the subtle envelope round the world stretched and twisted, that I was not meeting the internal demand. Instead, amongst other things, I turned my attention to finding a country meditation retreat for Victoria, for Australia, which ended in the establishment of Hiawatha, because that was on the cards also. However, I still feel it on vibrations that Mother wanted the thesis 'out there' long before this, and to even tell anyone about it, I needed to present it to Her first (to me that was part of the dharma of it). So not having done it in Her time is now something I must live with. ---------------- EXAMINERS REPORTS 'The thesis shows substantial original contribution to the knowledge of this period of history. as is the indication of the loss of the maternal principle, the great mother - which must surely be recouped for consciousness to be whole. There is an incredible richness in the weaving of images showing the progressing sweep of instrumental rationality through imagination, reaching out to dominate nature. The denseness of the descriptions and the fullness of the illumination are wonderful to read. So much is revealed about the development of western thought and imagination that is original and has not been presented heretofore. She lays out the situation and offers a path. A mighty work. The perfect preparation to horizon, tracings, which open (new) worlds.' (Dr M.P. Governors State University, Illinois.) Note: assessors remain anonymous, their reports confidential.) 'I must say what really makes this thesis extraordinary is that its central argument has to be expressed within a system of the 'contextual madness' of modernity from which the author would like to liberate herself (but which) has framed and structured the very norms of knowledge production under whose regime her thesis must be written.She performs this near impossible feat of rhetoric by an audaciously original and inventive method of expression. Showing her mastery over theories and models from contemporary psychology, she traces and analyses the historical and technological processes which led to the institutionalisation of the present mode of mental) consciousness. Then she takes recourse to submerged knowledge systems from western traditions and yokes them with several mystical and spiritual traditions from the east. Combining these with a clever use of illustrations, she manages to demonstrate the availability and feasibility of the wider, nondualistic, and integrative mode of being that she identifies with the Great feminine principle of Kundalini. (Professor M P, Princeton, and New Delhi.) 'Fascinating and important' an 'exhilarating and enormously expansive creative work'. (Prof. A. C, North Carolina State University) ENDNOTE Search for Origin: Exploring the Metaphoric Mind-Space Container: Transforming Vessel of Nightmare and Awakening. Discipline: the psychology of structures and modes of mind and consciousness. Innate Psychology, Energy psychology, La Trobe University, Melbourne. , " Violet " <violet.tubb@. ...> wrote: > > Dear All, > > Dr. Mary Ann expressed her appreciation to me for all the warm congratulations. She also expressed to me her intention to say so herself on this forum a.s.a.p. when she is able to, due to work commitments. > > violet > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2006 Report Share Posted May 19, 2006 Dear (Dr.) Mary Ann, i cannot express adequately how much my heart resonates to your story about the writing of " The Search For Origin " . i feel privileged to have met you, and i know that your spiritual work will be a Light to many people who want to understand their Spiritual Origins too... as you, yourself, have done. Not only do you write about it; you have experienced it. It is not just a theory, but " kundalini " is a FACT in your daily experience! Thank you so much, therefore, for sharing your deepest moments in the quest to express what has never been expressed before in quite the same way. Your work is greatly appreciated. i am certain that it will go far in opening up peoples' hearts and minds, and that they will long remember what it will reveal to them about Spirit and about the Divine Feminine. i am also certain, that this book will one day be considered to be a Great Enlightened Masterpiece. love and best wishes, violet , " Violet " <violet.tubb@. ...> wrote: > > Dear All, > > As the URL for Dr. Mary Ann's article about 'THE SEARCH FOR ORIGIN' is either not opening up/or not consistently opening up, i have requested a Copy and Paste Version. Dr. Mary Ann has in response actually sent an 'expanded upon' version of the earlier document, so please enjoy! > > warmest regards, > > violet > > > 'THE SEARCH FOR ORIGIN' > > On January 27th, Dr Mary Ann Ghaffurian PhD brought her doctoral thesis, The Search for Origin, up from Melbourne, to the garden enclosure at Burwood Ashram with the desire it could be offered to Sri Mataji. > > After several diversions, where it did not look like it was going to happen, the thesis was eventually placed outside Sri Mataji's bedroom door. The situation unfolded, vibrations quickened, and Chris Kyriacou came out from the ashram doors, as Sri Mataji finished her evening meal. 'Come quickly' he said. Mary Ann was given her book to present it to Sri Mataji, and within two minutes, was offering it at Her feet. > > And so completed a cycle of events that reached as far back as India Tour 1986-87, when Chris Lee of England, whom Sri Mataji had asked many times to write up a PhD thesis himself, turned to Mary Ann and said 'You're the scholar. You'll have to do it.' > > A yogi from Adelaide was one of the first to catch sight of the thesis as Mary Ann returned from Sri Mataji's presence back to the garden. He said; 'I can feel vibrations pouring off it'. Later that evening Mary Ann discussed the content with other yogis briefly. One commented he had learned so much about the Western standpoint in such a short time and would love to learn more. But there was one thing he found particularly interesting, and this was that although the descriptions went way back into the past and into the future, he never felt for a moment that his attention wavered to left or right, but that he was viewing all history from the standpoint of the Sushumna. Others placed their hands over the book from above, and could feel a pad-like coolness around it. > > BACKGROUND TO RESEARCH IN THE NEW PSYCHOLOGY OF MIND AND CONSCIOUSNESS > > I do not know how to express this, but it is integral to understanding the background to this thesis work: When I was 17 my Kundalini raised- beautiful, and overwhelming. It took me to my core and intensified all subsequent experiences. I had inbuilt radar, after that, to tell me what was compatible with this new energy in me and what was not. The problem was, at this time, there was no structure to support this event or its reality in our society. Culture, religion and our civilization's norms, did not have a living tradition to recognize it, much less sustain it. I felt alone. But in touch. When I closed my eyes, I could feel a cool flame coming out the top of my head and flowing streams within. > > As there was nothing to support this experience or the existence of such subtle phenomena in my world, I began a deep search to seek out connections. I did not have the name 'kundalini' then, and came out of the Roman Catholic environment. All I knew was that I had realized my source and was daily in contact with it. At the time, I tried many experiments. For example, if I was involved in day-to-day life, and my attention was away from the kundalini, it was as if it was not there. However, as soon as I put my attention back on to it, I could feel it like a thick vine, undulating inside of me, tickling with joy my heart-strings, and as palpable as if a tree was sprouted in there. > > My subsequent search into this phenomenon revealed several things. The first was I gravitated spontaneously to the wisdom of the East, the Vedas, India, and the Bhagavad Gita. The second was that the Kundalini surged to certain phrases/words, and lifted to colours in nature and art, certain minerals and stones, while Mozart, Schubert, (Trout Quintet), and various classical music pieces, like Rachmaninov's Opus 18, allowed the Kundalini to rise, dance and be free. It reverberated to the didgeridoo and revolted, or retracted, if I watched certain things, or opened certain books (e.g. Freud's work), and was both amazing companion and bane, almost, for while it was uncompromising in regards its retraction or surging to 'or 'wrong' or 'right', my ego could still intervene and choose for itself anyway. So I learnt how one chooses precisely one's path and how the way remains left open for that human choice. After all, evolution is long, and the parsing of the absolute intention, delicate-not so much human, as we would call it, but divine. > > Then I found Dr Carl Jung's analytical psychology and his book The Symbols of Man. From that point on, I had a career orientation: knowledge of the psyche, soul, transformation, history, art and literature, and the need to be whole. > > There was also another side to this too. I had been subject to this civilization's norms, which did not reflect Kundalini awakening whatsoever, and those norms were built into my psyche, born as I had been, into the colonized heart of the West. > > This set up a huge problematic for me personally, one that took decades to sort out, because when I took on the microcosmic problems within, I found the macrocosmic ones were in there as well. Enormous scope, cosmic in proportion, opened up, and I did not feel adequate. And so began the individual drama of dealing with Kundalini and the world. I was 19 when the full weight of this drama manifested, amidst the bliss, finding the Western civilization's structure to retain this occurrence built within me, unparalleled in its lack. > _______________________________ > > My first full-time employment was with the Mental Health Authority under Dr John Cade, a Nobel nominee for his work on manic-depression. He gave me an inspiring position in the psychiatric world to explore the strokes of divine inspiration sometimes seen in patient's artwork and music, and to find genius in the mentally ill. This brief, with his full endorsement, led to many interesting encounters, as well as profound meetings with minds in psychosis, under the duress of depression, or struggling with schizophrenia. I was soon working with consultant psychiatrists reliant on data for diagnosis of difficult cases, and turning to symbolic content in art for help. (The basis of this work led later to lecturing at Deakin, followed by a book Visual Art as Therapy (1993), producing and scripting Visual Art as Healing (1994) at the same university.) > > However, I found the psychiatric world's limitations to understanding the human condition, a problem, and so at 23 took off into the rainforests of North Queensland, fasting alone in the dense jungle with the company only of fireflies, wild pigs, creatures, and Mother Nature. But I did not feel alone. I carried a bundle of books of those who had apparently touched 'cosmic consciousness' (as it was called then), happily slept under trees and stars, in rugged wilderness, or on wild coasts and shores, and was happiest in the elements and at peace. I began photographing the outback and won an international award for an image entitled 'Little Lamb Who Made Thee?' after Blake. It shows a dying lamb at the base of a giant tree, while apocalyptic skies amass behind it. > > What followed the 3 years of wilderness experience was a complete change, as I returned to the city and back to the mainstream. Finding a position in international publishing, a decade began - working on interesting projects with authors, editors, illustrators, and publishers with several major companies, as well as smaller ones, for educational, general fiction and non-fiction markets. One of the projects was 'The Year of Living Dangerously', which became a major film with Mel Gibson in the lead. Another was the Australian classic, 'A Fortunate Life'. I was also engaged in production with the creators of the first 'Mad Max' which some of my friends were in. > > Then, Sri Mataji reeled me in (there is no other way to describe it ). That is another story to tell, but not now. She gave me a structure to put in place the protocols, the dharmic road, and all the things that had previously been missing from my life, and those things were considerable. It was 1985. > > So began a new and intense learning period, a period that required stilling the attention, going within, clearing chakras, reopening the direct conduit, ignoring the chatter - and building a bridge that was indestructible so that the Kundalini had a permanent residence and domicile. 'Give me a home among the gum trees' as we might say in Australia. In this case, there were just three major gum trees and the Kundalini used the middle one in principle, to climb, and as direct conduit to manifest. > > And so the divine leela spun me on as it worked me out! That is, it was working out of my system all the things that blunted and tarnished its reflection. (Forget that it is the individual working out their ascent. At a certain point you realize it's just the reverse.) > > At the same time, no-one is exempt from the shortcomings and limitations of their cultural baggage and conditionings. No-one. These too must be overcome. The bridge must be securely built, attention fixed, and doubtlessness exist as a fact of life. Evolution moves with this - a living flame: it cannot be corralled, nor contained by structures other than those it builds itself. And these structures, it builds within. Then finally, one is brought to the dust, and when one is finally horizontal, Kundalini appears as the shining vertical, and through it, one begins to whiff the oceanic atmosphere of freedom, at first coming from afar, that the Creation was built for, from the very beginning. And so, as it were, the genie finally comes out of the lamp. > > DIVINE ATTENTION ON THE THESIS PROJECT > > Sri Mataji spoke to me about the Miracles Book project in the early 1990s, and I began collecting and editing work, already advanced, from Switzerland. However, when I asked Sri Mataji in 1993 about this project and what she wanted done with it, she said, 'Forget the Miracle Book for now, concentrate on your thesis.' > > At that time, I was researching a Masters Degree on 'Outsiders' in society; those who are prophets, saints, renegades and rebels; those who try to expose entrenched cultural conditionings, develop profound spirituality, and express their genius through writing, exquisite perceptions, and the arts. > > Then, on discussing Carl Jung's work with Sri Mataji in Melbourne in the early 1990's, She expressed certain displeasure both about the way some of his most intimate followers twisted his ideas, and also how Jung himself was not clear on many points. 'He only got his realization at the very end of his life, anyway', she said. 'There are many inaccuracies.' It was decided I was to begin a process to clarify what was missing or incomplete, and bring the understanding up to the next era in line with the truth. This was a task not only about psychology, but also about history, civilization, technological processes, and a whole range of things. Therefore, the work went on: > > Little did I know how far or how deep, however, the requirement would go in the scouring of the psyche of the Western world in order to bring answers out that were lying underneath; or how far I would be pushed from within to do it. But then, we come to understand the divine only pushes us to the limit of our capacity, sometimes the very limit, before it gently draws back. If one is not prepared to give one's all, then perhaps it is better to pass the task onto someone else. I seriously could not countenance this. Now, married to an Iranian, the whole Middle East became part of the enigmatic puzzle I was deep within, which only added to the profundity and the complex issues. > > Twice after, when I saw Sri Mataji again, her words were: 'Where is it? " Have you got it there for me?' Once, on stage after puja in New South Wales, 1996, I had gifts of two of my paintings for Her. She took the two pictures from me, and then asked over the top of them. 'Very good. Where is your thesis? Have you got it done?' She didn't forget! At that time, I was deep in the sorting and sifting of the knowledge accumulation of the West, along with its burden on the collective psyche. I felt like I was walking on the bottom of the ocean, or burrowing to the centre of the earth, with a pipette up to the surface for air. In front of Her, with no work on the horizon complete, there was nowhere to run. She took my face in both her hands like a flower, and drew very close for a moment, 'Mm' was all she said. > > By this time, research had matured into a PhD, partly because of Sri Mataji's attention. My resolve for accuracy strengthened and the relationship with Kundalini intensified and rekindled. I was a resonant string that stretched from the teenage awakening experience to my mature years, as I was now past forty. When plucked, the internal bow resonated finer, and truer. I began to feel the exhilaration of coming home. > > Sri Mataji had been at elbow in dreams, presentiments and visitations, often when I felt used beyond all strength. Working most nights till 3, 4 or 5am in the morning, over five years or so, even while breast-feeding a baby, I landed in hospital, completely worn out with the presentiment of death. Trying not to give up, even when life itself was challenged, it was always a case of keeping quiet, gradually recouping strength, and returning to the job, even when the mere sight or thought of it filled me with dread. > > In time, however, the bowstring did quiver and sing again, and the twisting vine renewed, bringing with it the reconnection of youth. At the same time, there was that other task that had been underway, the clearing out of not only the psychic stables of the West, but the ones I'd inherited on account of being one of its baptized subjects in the first place. > > After fourteen years of study and research, from an honours degree in the late 1980s to completion of the PhD (on Sri Mataji's 80th birthday, 21 March 2003), submission occurred on the 25th of that year, and the task, at last, was complete. My birthday gift, subtly, to Sri Mataji, as I finished the job a long way from Delhi's celebrations. > > It is interesting to recount that the University decided that there was no one competent in Australia to assess such a cross-disciplinary and transcultural thesis (history, psychology, culture, anthropology, social science, neurology, philosophy). At the same time, the process of the years had softened my supervisor, faculty and the department, and they were eager to find assessors internationally. It finally went to professors of psychology, language literature and culture, and communications, from the United States, and Nehru University, New Delhi. > > My only regret is that the job was not finished earlier. Sri Mataji, I know, wanted it finished by the year 2000, at the latest, and I felt acutely early 2001, as the subtle envelope round the world stretched and twisted, that I was not meeting the internal demand. Instead, amongst other things, I turned my attention to finding a country meditation retreat for Victoria, for Australia, which ended in the establishment of Hiawatha, because that was on the cards also. However, I still feel it on vibrations that Mother wanted the thesis 'out there' long before this, and to even tell anyone about it, I needed to present it to Her first (to me that was part of the dharma of it). So not having done it in Her time is now something I must live with. > > ---------------- > > EXAMINERS REPORTS > > 'The thesis shows substantial original contribution to the knowledge of this period of history. as is the indication of the loss of the maternal principle, the great mother - which must surely be recouped for consciousness to be whole. There is an incredible richness in the weaving of images showing the progressing sweep of instrumental rationality through imagination, reaching out to dominate nature. The denseness of the descriptions and the fullness of the illumination are wonderful to read. So much is revealed about the development of western thought and imagination that is original and has not been presented heretofore. She lays out the situation and offers a path. A mighty work. The perfect preparation to horizon, tracings, which open (new) worlds.' > (Dr M.P. Governors State University, Illinois.) > Note: assessors remain anonymous, their reports confidential.) > > > 'I must say what really makes this thesis extraordinary is that its central argument has to be expressed within a system of the 'contextual madness' of modernity from which the author would like to liberate herself (but which) has framed and structured the very norms of knowledge production under whose regime her thesis must be written. She performs this near impossible feat of rhetoric by an audaciously original and inventive method of expression. Showing her mastery over theories and models from contemporary psychology, she traces and analyses the historical and technological processes which led to the institutionalisation of the present mode of mental) consciousness. Then she takes recourse to submerged knowledge systems from western traditions and yokes them with several mystical and spiritual traditions from the east. Combining these with a clever use of illustrations, she manages to demonstrate the availability and feasibility of the wider, nondualistic, and integrative mode of being that she identifies with the Great feminine principle of Kundalini. > (Professor M P, Princeton, and New Delhi.) > > 'Fascinating and important' an 'exhilarating and enormously expansive creative work'. > (Prof. A. C, North Carolina State University) > > ENDNOTE > > Search for Origin: Exploring the Metaphoric Mind-Space Container: Transforming Vessel of Nightmare and Awakening. > Discipline: the psychology of structures and modes of mind and consciousness. Innate Psychology, Energy psychology, > La Trobe University, Melbourne. > > > , " Violet " <violet.tubb@ > ..> wrote: > > > > Dear All, > > > > Dr. Mary Ann expressed her appreciation to me for all the warm > congratulations. She also expressed to me her intention to say so > herself on this forum a.s.a.p. when she is able to, due to work > commitments. > > > > violet > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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