A question of letting go.....

[Guest guest]

Dear Violet and Jagbir,

 

Like many people, i have a lot of past hurts that have been burried beneith the

surface and although not in the mind that often, come up occasionally and feel

almost like they did when they happened.

 

What brings this up is that during my highschool years and 2 years before that,

I went through a lot of things with people that were supposidly my friends etc

etc, and it caused me great anger, frusteration, pain, fear for my physical well

being etc, most of which i still carry around. THe thing is that all these

incidents happened almost 10 years or more ago, but they still very much affect

my way of thinking, happiness, confidence etc, etc.

 

What really brings this up is that I still see pictures of these people as they

are now on networking websites like " myspace " (where you can write blogs, post

pictures, add friends etc etc, if people here are not familiar with it) and when

i see these people those very same fears, rage, anger, hurt, frusteration and

the like- come right back up to the surface in the same intensity that they had

during the times when these things happened almost 10 years or more ago. To me

that says those feelings and hurts have yet to be dealt with and healed, which

is why they still come up. I know these people arent even thinking of me at all,

yet i still think of them and see them the very same way i did back then.

 

My question is, how does one effectivley deal with past hurts in a way that

helps them using my connection with the divine, or SY? Crying feels good for a

time being, but if crying when those feelings came up actually healed those

wounds, i would be clear of such things long ago. Do these things and feelings

just fall off as we meditate more and more, as our connection becomes stronger

and chakras clear but more and more old stuff? Or is there anyway i can help the

process along, something i can actually " do " to help make peace with those

things once and for all? I mean i could put my hand on my forhead and ask for

mother to help me forgive these people, but there has to be more, a way to truly

see those situations and in my heart, not in my mind, forgive and let go. Does

anyone have any suggestions?

 

Am i to just say i forgive this person(imparticular his/her name etc) when these

feelings come up or during meditation, which i have done on occasion, and after

awhile it will be dealth with; because i dont see that has being too effective

on its own when right now those words are all mental.

 

Jagbir or Violet, have you had any such things that you had to deal with in SY

or after you started and how did you go about doing it? Im just getting tired of

being made physically sick(unconsciously in that way) and emotionally upset at

things that happened so long ago. I have a pure desire to let these things go

but i dont know how to actually let these things go in a real way. Since SY i

hardly think of them anymore, but when i do i see the issue is still there

unresolved and im tired of carrying the pains around with me. I want to be free.

Any help would be great.

 

Thanks so much

 

Kyyan

[Guest guest]

Dear Kyyan,

 

Yes i have had problems that i needed to deal with. i needed to get counselling

for myself about deep psychic issues surrounding the death of my loving mother

when i was only 10 days old... about an extremely authoritarian Puritan father,

who would not allow me to say how i really felt and forced me to obey him with

very little empathy or compassion for my feelings... and a stepmother (who was

my mother from Age One, and who was a very good Christian person that taught me

about God, etc.)... but who nonetheless worked me to the bone because she really

needed help with 6 more children... and i therefore never really had a

childhood.

 

i have dealt with all that now, Kyyan. i never think about all that anymore,

unless asked about it. Counselling helped to focus the hurt, pain, anger, etc.

and to see what was underlying that... with some surprising insights. Then the

Sahaja Yoga system was the most successful to really help me deal with it. By

putting my past into my past... forgiving it.... forgiving everyone... and

realising everyone does the best they can at the time... and realising my

parents really loved me, even though they were not perfect.

 

Now, i am very happy and feel liberated from it all. But the greatest liberation

has come through my spiritual liberation from " all these ties that bind " . And

you have some " ties that bind " that you need to " untie " .... and let go of, as

you say.

 

So... why don't you go to a good Counsellor (and i mean a good one!) who will

let you address your anger, frustration, pain, and hurt... and you will get more

insights directly into it. The amount of pain etc. you are suffering, warrants

it, Kyyan. It warrants some proper professional attention. Do yourself a great

favour that i am sure you wil not regret!

 

love and best wishes,

 

violet

 

 

, " v_koa " <v_koa

wrote:

>

> Dear Violet and Jagbir,

>

> Like many people, i have a lot of past hurts that have been burried

beneith the surface and although not in the mind that often, come up

occasionally and feel almost like they did when they happened.

>

> What brings this up is that during my highschool years and 2 years

before that, I went through a lot of things with people that were

supposidly my friends etc etc, and it caused me great anger,

frusteration, pain, fear for my physical well being etc, most of

which i still carry around. THe thing is that all these incidents

happened almost 10 years or more ago, but they still very much affect

my way of thinking, happiness, confidence etc, etc.

>

> What really brings this up is that I still see pictures of these

people as they are now on networking websites like " myspace " (where

you can write blogs, post pictures, add friends etc etc, if people

here are not familiar with it) and when i see these people those very

same fears, rage, anger, hurt, frusteration and the like- come right

back up to the surface in the same intensity that they had during the

times when these things happened almost 10 years or more ago. To me

that says those feelings and hurts have yet to be dealt with and

healed, which is why they still come up. I know these people arent

even thinking of me at all, yet i still think of them and see them

the very same way i did back then.

>

> My question is, how does one effectivley deal with past hurts in a

way that helps them using my connection with the divine, or SY?

Crying feels good for a time being, but if crying when those feelings

came up actually healed those wounds, i would be clear of such things

long ago. Do these things and feelings just fall off as we meditate

more and more, as our connection becomes stronger and chakras clear

but more and more old stuff? Or is there anyway i can help the

process along, something i can actually " do " to help make peace with

those things once and for all? I mean i could put my hand on my

forhead and ask for mother to help me forgive these people, but there

has to be more, a way to truly see those situations and in my heart,

not in my mind, forgive and let go. Does anyone have any suggestions?

>

> Am i to just say i forgive this person(imparticular his/her name

etc) when these feelings come up or during meditation, which i have

done on occasion, and after awhile it will be dealth with; because i

dont see that has being too effective on its own when right now those

words are all mental.

>

> Jagbir or Violet, have you had any such things that you had to deal

with in SY or after you started and how did you go about doing it? Im

just getting tired of being made physically sick(unconsciously in

that way) and emotionally upset at things that happened so long ago.

I have a pure desire to let these things go but i dont know how to

actually let these things go in a real way. Since SY i hardly think

of them anymore, but when i do i see the issue is still there

unresolved and im tired of carrying the pains around with me. I want

to be free. Any help would be great.

>

> Thanks so much

>

> Kyyan

>

[Guest guest]

Sounds good,

 

I dont have any money for counselling at this moment in my life and probably

wont for awhile, so until then i will continue to meditate, face those past

tramas bst i can with introspection and try to forgive with my heart until such

time as i have the money. If it has been dealt with by then good, if not, then i

will take to someones council.

 

Thank you

 

Kyyan

 

, " Violet " <violet.tubb wrote:

>

> Dear Kyyan,

>

> Yes i have had problems that i needed to deal with. i needed to get

counselling for

myself about deep psychic issues surrounding the death of my loving mother when

i was

only 10 days old... about an extremely authoritarian Puritan father, who would

not allow

me to say how i really felt and forced me to obey him with very little empathy

or

compassion for my feelings... and a stepmother (who was my mother from Age One,

and

who was a very good Christian person that taught me about God, etc.)... but who

nonetheless worked me to the bone because she really needed help with 6 more

children...

and i therefore never really had a childhood.

>

> i have dealt with all that now, Kyyan. i never think about all that anymore,

unless asked

about it. Counselling helped to focus the hurt, pain, anger, etc. and to see

what was

underlying that... with some surprising insights. Then the Sahaja Yoga system

was the

most successful to really help me deal with it. By putting my past into my

past... forgiving

it.... forgiving everyone... and realising everyone does the best they can at

the time... and

realising my parents really loved me, even though they were not perfect.

>

> Now, i am very happy and feel liberated from it all. But the greatest

liberation has come

through my spiritual liberation from " all these ties that bind " . And you have

some " ties that

bind " that you need to " untie " .... and let go of, as you say.

>

> So... why don't you go to a good Counsellor (and i mean a good one!) who will

let you

address your anger, frustration, pain, and hurt... and you will get more

insights directly

into it. The amount of pain etc. you are suffering, warrants it, Kyyan. It

warrants some

proper professional attention. Do yourself a great favour that i am sure you wil

not regret!

>

> love and best wishes,

>

> violet

>

>

> , " v_koa " <v_koa@>

> wrote:

> >

> > Dear Violet and Jagbir,

> >

> > Like many people, i have a lot of past hurts that have been burried

> beneith the surface and although not in the mind that often, come up

> occasionally and feel almost like they did when they happened.

> >

> > What brings this up is that during my highschool years and 2 years

> before that, I went through a lot of things with people that were

> supposidly my friends etc etc, and it caused me great anger,

> frusteration, pain, fear for my physical well being etc, most of

> which i still carry around. THe thing is that all these incidents

> happened almost 10 years or more ago, but they still very much affect

> my way of thinking, happiness, confidence etc, etc.

> >

> > What really brings this up is that I still see pictures of these

> people as they are now on networking websites like " myspace " (where

> you can write blogs, post pictures, add friends etc etc, if people

> here are not familiar with it) and when i see these people those very

> same fears, rage, anger, hurt, frusteration and the like- come right

> back up to the surface in the same intensity that they had during the

> times when these things happened almost 10 years or more ago. To me

> that says those feelings and hurts have yet to be dealt with and

> healed, which is why they still come up. I know these people arent

> even thinking of me at all, yet i still think of them and see them

> the very same way i did back then.

> >

> > My question is, how does one effectivley deal with past hurts in a

> way that helps them using my connection with the divine, or SY?

> Crying feels good for a time being, but if crying when those feelings

> came up actually healed those wounds, i would be clear of such things

> long ago. Do these things and feelings just fall off as we meditate

> more and more, as our connection becomes stronger and chakras clear

> but more and more old stuff? Or is there anyway i can help the

> process along, something i can actually " do " to help make peace with

> those things once and for all? I mean i could put my hand on my

> forhead and ask for mother to help me forgive these people, but there

> has to be more, a way to truly see those situations and in my heart,

> not in my mind, forgive and let go. Does anyone have any suggestions?

> >

> > Am i to just say i forgive this person(imparticular his/her name

> etc) when these feelings come up or during meditation, which i have

> done on occasion, and after awhile it will be dealth with; because i

> dont see that has being too effective on its own when right now those

> words are all mental.

> >

> > Jagbir or Violet, have you had any such things that you had to deal

> with in SY or after you started and how did you go about doing it? Im

> just getting tired of being made physically sick(unconsciously in

> that way) and emotionally upset at things that happened so long ago.

> I have a pure desire to let these things go but i dont know how to

> actually let these things go in a real way. Since SY i hardly think

> of them anymore, but when i do i see the issue is still there

> unresolved and im tired of carrying the pains around with me. I want

> to be free. Any help would be great.

> >

> > Thanks so much

> >

> > Kyyan

> >

>