A Christian experiences Kundalini

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Experiences of Kundalini

 

(From The Varieties of Religious Experience — by William James, 1902)

 

 

Kundalini, living Fountain

 

" Between twenty and thirty I gradually became more and more agnostic and

irreligious, yet I cannot say that I ever lost that 'indefinite consciousness'

which Herbert Spencer describes so well, of an Absolute Reality behind

phenomena. For me this Reality was not the pure Unknowable of Spencer's

philosophy, for although I had ceased my childish prayers to God, and never

prayed to It in a formal manner, yet my more recent experience shows me to have

been in a relation to It, which practically was the same thing as prayer.

Whenever I had any trouble, especially when I had conflict with other people,

either domestically or in the way of business, or when I was depressed in

spirits or anxious about affairs, I now recognize that I used to fall back for

support upon this curious relation I felt myself to be in to, this fundamental

cosmical It. It was on my side, or I was on Its side, however you please to term

it, in the particular trouble, and it always strengthened me and seemed to give

me endless vitality to feel its underlying and supporting presence. In fact, It

was an unfailing fountain of living justice, truth, and strength, to which I

instinctively turned at times of weakness, and It always brought me out. I know

now that it was a personal relation I was in to It, because of late years, the

power of communicating with It has left me, and I am conscious of a perfectly

definite loss. I used never to fail to find It when I turned to It. Then came a

set of years when sometimes I found it, and then again I would be wholly unable

to make connection with it. I remember many occasions on which at night in bed,

I would be unable to get to sleep on account of worry. I turned this way and

that in the darkness, and groped mentally for the familiar sense of that higher

mind of my mind which had always seemed to be close at hand, as it were, closing

the passage, and yielding support, but there was no electric current. A blank

was there instead of It: I couldn't find anything.

 

Now, at the age of nearly fifty, my power of getting into connection with it has

entirely left me, and I have to confess that a great help has gone out of my

life. Life has become curiously dead and indifferent and I can now see that my

old experience was probably exactly the same thing as the prayers of the

orthodox, only I did not call them by that name. What I have spoken of as 'It'

was practically not Spencer's Unknowable, but just my own instinctive and

individual God, whom I relied upon for higher sympathy, but whom somehow I have

lost. "

 

Healing Power of the kundalini

 

" I went into town to do some shopping one morning, and I had not been gone long

before I began to feel ill. The ill feeling increased rapidly, until I had pains

in my bones, nausea, faintness and headache, all the symptoms, in short, that

precede an attack of influenza. My husband wished to send for the doctor. But I

told him that I would rather wait until morning and see how I felt. Then

followed one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

 

" I cannot express it in any other way than to say that I did 'lie down in the

stream of life and let it flow over me.' I gave up all fear of any impending

disease; I was perfectly willing and obedient. There was no intellectual effort,

or train of thought.

 

My dominant idea was: 'Behold the handmaid of the Lord: be it unto me even as

thou wilt,' and a perfect confidence that all would be well, that all was well.

The creative life was flowing into me every instant, and I felt myself allied

with the Infinite, in harmony, and full of the peace that passeth understanding.

There was no place in my mind for a jarring body. I had no consciousness of time

or space or persons, but only of love and happiness and faith.

 

" I do not know how long this state lasted, nor when I fell asleep, but when I

woke up in the morning, I was well. "

 

Awakening of the Kundalini

 

I experienced entire sanctification on the 15th day of March 1893, about eleven

o'clock in the morning. The particular accompaniments of the experience were

entirely unexpected. I was quietly sitting at home singing selections out of

Pentecostal Hymns. Suddenly there seemed to be a something sweeping into me and

inflating my entire being - such a sensation, as I had never experienced before.

 

When this experience came, I seemed to be conducted around a large, capacious,

well-lighted room. As I walked with my invisible conductor and looked around, a

clear thought was coined in my mind, 'They are not here, they are gone.' As soon

as the thought was definitely formed in my mind, though no word was spoken, the

Holy Spirit impressed me that I was surveying my own soul. Then, for the first

time in all my life, did I know that I was cleansed from all sin, and filled

with the fullness of God. "

 

Kundalini as Holy Spirit, the source of Christ's Baptism

 

" All my feelings seemed to rise and flow out, and the utterance of my heart was,

'I want to pour my whole soul out to God.' The rising of my soul was so great

that I rushed into the back room of the front office, to pray. There was no fire

and no light in the room; nevertheless it appeared to me as if it were perfectly

light. As I went in and shut the door after me, it seemed as if I met the Lord

Jesus Christ, face to face.

 

It did not occur to me then, nor did it for some time afterwards, that it was

wholly a mental state. On the contrary, it seemed to me that I saw him as I

would see any other man. He said nothing, but looked at me in such a manner as

to break me right down at his feet. I have always since, regarded this as a most

remarkable state of mind, for it seemed to me a reality, that he stood before

me, and I fell down at his feet and poured out my soul to him. I wept aloud like

a child, and made such confessions as I could, with my choked utterance. It

seemed to me that I bathed his feet with my tears, and yet I had no distinct

impression that I touched him, that I recollect. I must have continued in this

state for a good while, but my mind was too much absorbed with the interview to

recollect anything that I said. But I know that as soon as my mind became calm

enough to break off from the interview, that I returned to the front office, and

found that the fire that I had made of large wood was nearly burned out. But as

I turned and was about to take a seat by the fire, I received a mighty baptism

of the Holy Ghost. Without any expectation of it, without ever having the

thought in my mind, that there was any such thing for me, without any

recollection that I had ever heard the thing mentioned by any person in the

world, the Holy Spirit descended upon me, in a manner that seemed to go through

me, body and soul. I could feel the impression, like a wave of electricity,

going through and through me. Indeed, it seemed to come in waves and waves of

liquid love; for I could not express it in any other way. It seemed like the

very breath of God. I can recollect distinctly that it seemed to fan me, like

immense wings.

 

" No words can express the wonderful love that was shed abroad in my heart. I

wept aloud with joy and love, and I do not know, but I should say I literally

bellowed out the unutterable gushings of my heart. These waves came over me, and

over me, and over me, one after the other, until I recollect I cried out, 'I

shall die if these waves continue to pass over me.' I said, 'Lord, I cannot bear

any more,' yet I had no fear of death.

 

" How long I continued in this state, with this baptism continuing to roll over

me and go through me, I do not know. But I know it was late in the evening, when

a member of my choir - for I was the leader of the choir - came into the office

to see me. He was a member of the church. He found me in this state of loud

weeping, and said to me, 'Mr. Finney, what ails you?' I could make him no answer

for some time. He then said, 'Are you in pain?' I gathered myself up as best I

could, and replied, 'No, but so happy that I cannot live.' "

 

Kundalini elevates to a state of effulgent happiness

 

" My tears of sorrow changed to joy, and I lay there praising God in such ecstasy

of joy as only the soul who experiences it can realize. " - " I cannot express how

I felt. It was as if I had been in a dark dungeon and lifted into the light of

the sun. I shouted and I sang praise unto Him who loved me and washed me from my

sins. I was forced to retire into a secret place, for the tears did flow, and I

did not wish my shopmates to see me, and yet I could not keep it a secret. " - " I

experienced joy almost to weeping. " - " I felt my face must have shone like that

of Moses. I had a general feeling of buoyancy. It was the greatest joy it was

ever my lot to experience. " - " I wept and laughed alternately. I was as light,

as if walking on air. I felt as if I had gained greater peace and happiness than

I had ever expected to experience. "

 

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