In China marrying a woman is like buying a horse: .....

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Traditions weigh on China's women

By Christopher Allen

 

In China, one woman kills herself every four minutes.

 

The suicide rate is three times higher in rural areas than urban

 

According to World Health Organisation statistics, China is the only

country in the world where more women commit suicide than men.

 

Every year, 1.5 million women attempt to take their own lives, and a

further 150,000 succeed in doing so.

 

The problem is worse in rural areas, where the suicide rate is three

times higher than in the cities.

 

Xu Rong, head of the Suicide Prevention Project at the Beijing

Cultural Development Centre for Rural Women, says one of the reasons

is the ready availability of poisons in agricultural areas.

 

" It's all too easy to get hold of pesticides, " she says. " Some women

commit suicide impulsively. A husband and wife may have a bitter

fight. When it's over, the woman just grabs some poison and drinks

it. "

 

'Business deals'

 

Suicide attempts may often be impulsive, but they are the result of

burdens that weigh heavily on the shoulders of rural women.

 

Marriage is a big issue where traditional attitudes still prevail.

 

Many marriages are arranged and operate like business deals in which

the groom's parents " buy " the bride, and she becomes part of their

family.

 

" Women will face an even more terrible future in 20 years time. "

 

Xie Lihua, magazine editor

 

Xu Rong believes this leads to emotional problems for young wives who

leave their own family and friends to enter an alien environment.

 

" They have their father-in-law to deal with, their mother-in-law,

various uncles, sisters-in-law and so on. She's got to gain

everyone's acceptance. When there are conflicts, she's the weakest. "

 

Particularly in arranged marriages, where the husband may sense his

wife is unwilling to be with him, resentment can build up, leading to

arguments and violence.

 

Xu Rong estimates that 70-80% of suicides are the direct result of

conflicts between husbands and wives.

 

No way out

 

Xie Lihua, editor of China's foremost women's magazine, agrees that

traditional values are a problem.

 

" If a woman goes to live with her husband's family and they treat her

well, or if she's found someone who loves and respects her, she'll be

all right. If not, things will be very difficult for her.

 

In rural areas where social security is weak, sons are preferred to

daughters

 

" This is because there's a saying among men that goes: 'marrying a

woman is like buying a horse: I can ride you and beat you whenever I

like'. "

 

For most women there is no easy way out of an unhappy marriage.

 

Divorce would mean leaving behind the financial security of the

family, casting them into an uncertain future.

 

According to Xu Rong, some women attempt suicide as a way of asking

for better treatment from their husbands.

 

Other studies agree that many of the women who attempt suicide each

year are attempting to gain some dignity - to bring home to others

their sense of anger and frustration.

 

The government realises the extent of the problem.

 

For many years, marriage laws have made arranged marriage and bride-

buying illegal. However, traditional attitudes are hard to change.

 

Bleak prospects

 

Besides traditional attitudes, modern trends also seem set to place

China's women under increasing pressure.

 

In rural areas where social security is weak, sons are preferred to

daughters, as only sons will stay in the village to look after

elderly parents. When daughters marry, they must move to their

husband's family home.

 

Combine this with strict birth control policies, and the result is

that many female foetuses are aborted.

 

For every one hundred baby girls born in China, 117 boys are born,

according to the official figures.

 

By 2020, China could be short of around 40 million women, leaving

many young men unable to find wives. Xie Lihua is worried about the

consequences of this imbalance.

 

" Women will face an even more terrible future in 20 years time.

Abduction and trafficking of women will increase. So will

prostitution, as well as sexual violence against women and rape. I

think this problem really must be solved from the ground up "

 

A helping hand

 

Xu Rong's organisation attempts to prevent suicides by providing

women with village-based support groups where they can discuss their

feelings, and receive information on mental health.

 

Although these groups are limited to only a few villages they have

been a success, and Xu Rong hopes to expand the project nationwide.

 

Other successes include a school outside Beijing where young rural

women are taught the skills to build lives for themselves.

 

There are vocational courses on cooking, hairdressing and computing,

as well as classes on marriage laws, suicide prevention and gender

awareness.

 

It has an annual intake of around 600 young women.

 

Since opening in 1998, 4,000 trainees have passed through its doors,

typically going on to work as restaurant cashiers or factory clerks.

 

City living

 

These projects are small, but other forces are also at work which are

determining the future for China's women.

 

In the manufacturing hubs of the south-east coastal provinces, up to

70% of the millions of migrant workers are women, mostly in their

teens and 20s.

 

Although many will return to the countryside to marry, the experience

of being away from home can be life-changing.

 

The move to the city is not without risk. Many young women have been

sexually abused by their bosses, and working conditions are often

abysmal.

 

But there are advantages.

 

Here, relationships are formed away from the prying eyes of parents

and matchmakers, and young women experience a wider world far removed

from the farms where they grew up.

 

Perhaps most importantly, young women away from home - whether in the

factories or at the training school in Beijing - are gaining in

confidence.

 

They are discovering their own individual worth and their own

potential.

 

As one trainee says: " Before I came here my mum told me it was better

to marry well than study well.

 

" But after coming here I didn't think my aim should be to get myself

a good husband. I'd do better fighting for a career of my own. "

 

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