Fwd: Hri: Remorse And Modesty

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Hare Krsna. Hri: Remorse And ModestyHri, the first of the ten niyamas, or practices, is remorse: beingmodest and showing shame for misdeeds, seeking the guru's grace to bereleased from sorrows through the understanding that he gives, basedon the ancient sampradaya, doctrinal lineage, he preaches. Remorsecould be the most misunderstood and difficult to practice of all of theniyamas, because we don't have very many role models today for modestyor remorse. In fact, the role for imitation in today's world is justthe opposite. This is reflected in television, on film, in novels,magazines, newspapers and all other kinds of media. In today's world,brash, presumptuous, prideful--that's how one must be. That's the rolemodel we see everywhere. In today's world, arrogant--that's how one mustbe. That's the role model we see everywhere. Therefore, to be remorsefulor even to

show modesty would be a sign of weakness to one's peers,family and friends.Modesty is portrayed in the media as a trait of people that are gauche,inhibited, undeveloped emotionally or not well educated. And remorse isportrayed in the world media as a characteristic of one who "doesn'thavehis act together," is unable to rationalize away wrongdoings, or who isnot clever enough to find a scapegoat to pin the blame on. Thoughmodestyand remorse are the natural qualities of the soul, when the soul doesexhibit these qualities, there is a natural tendency to suppress them.But let's look on the brighter side. There is an old saying, "Somepeopleteach us what to do, and other people teach us what not to do." Themodernmedia, at least most of it, is teaching us what not to do. Its behavioris based on other kinds of philosophy--secular humanism, materialism,existentialism, crime and punishment, terrorism--in its

effort to reportand record the stories of the day. Sometimes we can learn quite a lotby seeing the opposite of what we want to learn. The proud and arrogantpeople portrayed on TV nearly always have their fall. This is alwaysportrayed extremely well and is very entertaining. In their heart ofhearts, people really do not admire the prideful person or his displayof arrogance, so they take joy in seeing him get his just due. People,intheir heart of hearts, do admire the modest person, the truthful person,the patient person, the steadfast person, the compassionate person whoshows contentment and the fullness of well-being on his face and in hisbehavioral patterns.We Hindus who understand these things know that hri, remorse, is tobe practiced at every opportunity. One of the most acceptable ways topractice hri, even in today's society, is to say in a heartfelt way,"I'm sorry." Everyone will accept this. Even the

most despicable,prideful, arrogant, self-centered person will melt just a little underthe two magic words "I'm sorry."When apologizing, explain to the person you hurt or wronged how you haverealized that there was a better way and ask for his forgiveness. If theperson is too proud or arrogant to forgive, you have done your part andcan go your way. The burden of the quandary you have put him into nowlies solely with him. He will think about it, justify how and why andwhat he should not forgive until the offense melts from his mind and hisheart softens. It takes as much time for a hardened heart to soften asit does for a piece of ice to melt in a refrigerator. Even when it does,his pride may never let him give you the satisfaction of knowing he hasforgiven you. But you can tell. Watch for softening in the eyes when youmeet, a less rigid mouth and the tendency to suppress a wholesome smile.

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