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Dear Anant,

 

I feel sorry for your so called mental depression in not able to do Nama Japa as you don't hv a Guru.Perhaps you are carried away from bookish knowledge

that for saying nama japa a Guru is essential.After all who is a Guru?He/She has not come from some other planet but they hv thru practice acquired certain higher development in the spiritual realm.It is also possible they may hv taken some initiation from some elders before starting to do their japa.If you hv seen my mails I hv always stressed the fact that Guru is essential only if you embark on Upasana marga of certain Deities by chanting powerful mantras belonging to those deities and use of chakras and other paraphernalia.Those things require severe discipline and other austerities if one wants to achieve the desired goals.It can be material or spiritual as the difference between the two is not much.A person while involved in the material world which can't be avoided can still rise up in the spiriual domain.

 

As far as Nama smarana is concerned there is no necessity for a Guru and you need not expect somebody will approach you exhibiting himself as your Guru and such is only our own imagination.Just by repeating namas of the deity of your choice you can't expect wonders to happen overnight.But when the repetition continues over a period the mind gets stilled and become cleansed of the dirts accumulated in it by negative thoughts as you are reciting the nama of Lord and concentrating on the Great qualities of Him and the same wll hv a soothing effect in the otherwise troubled mind.So don't bother abt Guru aspect in nama smarana and if necessary you can take the same form of God as your Guru and proceed in yr devotion.Just by initiation by a person won't lead you anywhere and it is yr own attempts which lift you up as the power has to develop within your self only not coming from some deity outside.For that you must inculcate the Deity of yr choice in yr mind and start the nama japa

always feeling that the deity installed by you in yr mind gets the power to guide you in the right path.Other things you will come to learn automatically when once the power within you is raised.Never thing that the power comes from somewhere outside.It is verily within you only.Hv no doubt abt the same.Doubting Thomases rarely succeed in spiritual matters.It is the absolute faith and devotion and sincerity which yield result and not simply saying the nama of the deity.When you say the nama you must feel that the same is sent to the deity of yr choice which you hv taken as yr guide.There is no use shouting loudly the namas but mentally say the same always and the same will hv the effect over a period of time.Try to meditate for sometime daily at a particular time convenient to you and concentrate the deity within you.You will see the effects in course but never lose hope.Faith is the fundamental principle in all matters.So instead of worrying abt Guru take your ishta devata as yr

Guru and start the japa.

 

Regarding your doubt of the merits or demerits of your previous births don't bother as you don't hv any idea of that nor any one.So take things in the normal way and this need not be a block in yr ambition to recite nama japa.So instead of wasting your time in such silly things of your Karma effect which will hv its own ways to deal with you,start doing japa at any time of your choice.Whether you hv account of credit or debit don't give importance as you can't go back and make any remedies but certainly you can start a new life by doing nama japa so that Time will take care of everything.So without brooding abt your past karmas start doing good karmas and everything will be ok in due course.This is the experience of everso many people and the same wll work on you also if you are earnest in yr ambition.You need not run after anybody and get yourself confused but convince yourself in your capabilties.Good Luck in your new beginning of doing Nama japa.Now the choice is yours.

 

Hare Krishna.

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