Fwd: Srila Prabhupada's Disappearance Day

[Guest guest]

Srila Prabhupada's Disappearance Day

A Talk by Giriraj Swami

October 28, 2003

Houston

 

 

[The devotees have just watched the video of Srila Prabhupada in

Bombay.]

 

As we saw in the video, Srila Prabhupada left Bombay to go to Vrndavana.

In

Vrndavana many events took place, and two or three days before

Govardhana-puja Srila Prabhupada spoke of going on a bullock cart. His

Holiness Lokanath Swami had come to Vrndavana after traveling to

different

holy places by bullock cart on Srila Prabhupada's instruction. He gave a

report to Srila Prabhupada about the group's travels, and Srila

Prabhupada

was very enlivened. Thus, to encourage Lokanath Swami and to emphasize

the

program--and for whatever other reasons--Srila Prabhupada said that he

would

like to go on by bullock cart to visit different holy places. And he

said

that he would begin by going to Govardhana Hill to participate in

Govardhana-puja with the Vraja-vasis. Lokanath Swami was very

enthusiastic,

and he and Trivikrama Swami went to arrange the bullock cart. Some

devotees

were enthusiastic about the idea, but some, led by His Holiness Tamal

Krishna Goswami and others, felt that Srila Prabhupada was not well

enough

to travel. Tamal Krishna Goswami said to Srila Prabhupada, " If anybody

wants

you to travel, I do. My whole desire is to take you all over the

world--and

on parikrama. But why do we have to go when you are in this condition?

You

have just started to improve, and the kaviraja wants to begin some new

medicine tomorrow. So why throw everything out the window? "

 

A controversy developed, and devotees became polarized. One group felt

that

the disciples should just follow the orders of the spiritual master.

Srila

Prabhupada had expressed his desire to go to Govardhana Hill by bullock

cart, and the duty of the disciples is just to follow the order of the

spiritual master, not question it. And the other group said that Srila

Prabhupada was too fragile to travel on a bullock cart. (Actually, Srila

Prabhupada's body had almost no flesh on it. It was pretty much just

skin

and bones.) Tamal Krishna Goswami and others felt that even if we put a

mattress on the bullock cart, because the roads were so bad and bullock

carts by nature are rough, Srila Prabhupada would be jostled on the way

and

would feel a lot of pain--and maybe even leave his body on the way. So,

two

groups formed. Most of the personal servants--Tamal Krishna Goswami,

Bhavananda Maharaja, Bhakti Caru Swami, Bhaktisvarupa Damodara

Maharaja--felt that Srila Prabhupada should not go. And Hamsaduta

Prabhu,

Bharadraja Prabhu, Lokanath Swami, and others felt that we should just

obey

Srila Prabhupada's instructions without question.

 

One night, just before the day of Govardhana-puja, Akincana Krsnadasa

Babaji

Maharaja came to visit Srila Prabhupada. (I have heard that Srila

Prabhupada

said Babaji Maharaja was a paramahamsa; in any case, he was a Vaisnava,

and

he was always absorbed in hari-nama.) So, he came to visit. His Holiness

Bhakti Caru Swami was in the room when he arrived, and Tamal Krishna

Goswami

and Bhavananda Maharaja were upstairs in what had been Srila

Prabhupada's

bedroom when he was healthier. Bhakti Caru Swami requested Akincana

Krsnadasa Babaji Maharaja to ask Srila Prabhupada not to go. Meanwhile,

Goswami Maharaja and Bhavananda Maharaja came down to Prabhupada's

bedside.

They were in tears and beside themselves with anxiety.

 

Prabhupada understood. " You request me not to go? "

 

Goswami Maharaja replied, " Srila Prabhupada, I was getting so upset

sitting

in the room upstairs. Two devotees told me that this road is so bad that

if

you go on this road, you're going to be jolted back and forth. . . . "

 

" All right, " said Srila Prabhupada, accepting their request.

 

" Jaya, Srila Prabhupada, " responded Bhakti Caru Swami.

 

Then Bhavananda Maharaja said, " I was in too much anxiety. "

 

Srila Prabhupada replied, " No, no. I shall not put you in anxiety. I

shall

do what you like. " And then he turned to Babaji Maharaja and said, " My

left

hand and my right hand, I cannot refuse. Just see how much my disciples

love

me. "

 

The evening concluded nicely for the devotees in the room. We stayed,

and

there was quiet kirtana as different devotees massaged different parts

of

Srila Prabhupada's body. But when the news reached the devotees who were

of

the other opinion, they became agitated. " This is not right, " they said.

" Srila Prabhupada wanted to go. You shouldn't have asked him not to go.

The

duty of the disciple is to execute the order of the spiritual master

without

question. "

 

Anyway, Govardhana-puja came and went. The next day was a little quiet,

but

devotees were still hopeful. And then the day after, Srila Prabhupada

withdrew his consciousness. At about seven in the morning the doctor

asked

him if he would take anything to drink. Srila Prabhupada replied faintly

in

Hindi, meri kuch iccha nahin: " I have no desire. " He did not speak for

the

rest of the day. He was in internal consciousness.

 

The kaviraja informed us, " The signs are such that today may be the

last. "

Things sort of went as usual, with a few devotees performing soft

kirtana--although outside there were meetings and discussions about

arranging for Srila Prabhupada's samadhi. Later in the afternoon, when

it

seemed that Srila Prabhupada would not return to external consciousness,

the

leaders opened the doors for everyone to enter. Men and women--anyone

could

come in. There was continuous kirtana until the end. At about 7:26 p.m.

on

November 14, 1977, Srila Prabhupada opened his mouth, moved his tongue,

and

departed for the divine abode. Then there was loud kirtana--a lot of

crying

and kirtana.

 

The devotees put Srila Prabhupada on a palanquin and took him around the

Krsna-Balarama Mandira. Then he was placed on his vyasasana in the

temple

and throughout the night we sat at his lotus feet and performed kirtana.

Some of Srila Prabhupada's godbrothers also came and led kirtana. In the

morning the devotees took Srila Prabhupada on his palanquin to the major

temples of Vrndavana. Then he was brought back to the Krsna-Balarama

Mandira

and put in samadhi. There were various formalities, of course, and Tamal

Krishna Goswami was the main organizer of them. He went down into the

hole

that had been dug for Srila Prabhupada's samadhi and there placed

different

items with Srila Prabhupada. Then all the devotees shovelled earth into

the

samadhi and filled up the hole. And they formed a mound on of earth on

top

and placed a tulasi plant there.

 

Two weeks later there was a big feast. Everyone in Vrndavana was

invited.

Srila Prabhupada had specifically instructed that he wanted remnants of

the

feast to be delivered to the mahantas of all the main temples in

Vrndavana,

the gosvamis. Perhaps the next or the third day after he left, one of

the

mahantas from the Radha-Damodara temple--I think Gaurachand

Goswami--came.

Near the samadhi was some brickwork, and he started banging his cane on

the

bricks and exclaiming, " Swami Maharaja! Swami Maharaja, are you there? I

know you're there. Swami Maharaja, I know you're there. "

 

After two weeks there was a pandal in front of the temple near the

samadhi,

and different Gaudiya Vaisnavas were invited to speak. Visvambara

Gosvami

from the Radha-Ramana temple spoke very nicely, and then there was a

feast.

 

Early the next morning Tamal Krishna Goswami, Bhavananda Maharaja, and I

traveled by car to the Delhi airport, carrying flowers from Prabhupada's

samadhi for the puspa-samadhi in Mayapur. When we arrived in Calcutta we

went to the Calcutta temple, where many devotees came to meet us. I

remember

Sitaram Daga, a good friend of Srila Prabhupada's, spent some time with

us.

And two of Srila Prabhupada's children, Vrindaban Chandra and

Sulakshmana,

also came. One of them asked, " When Prabhupada was here we could always

go

to him and he would always talk to us about Krsna. Now that Srila

Prabhupada

is gone, who will do that? " Tamal Krishna Goswami was very serious and

replied, " That is a good question. "

 

The next morning we drove to Mayapur. There was a big ceremony for

putting

the flowers in the samadhi, similar to the ceremony in Vrndavana. There

was

a deep hole, but whereas in Vrndavana we had placed Srila Prabhupada's

transcendental body in the hole, in Mayapur we put the flowers and then

filled in the dirt and made a mound and installed a tulasi plant.

 

From there Tamal Krishna Goswami and I traveled to Bombay to prepare for

the

grand opening of the Juhu temple. He and I stayed together in one of the

rooms in the asrama, with two thin mattresses on the floor.

 

After the temple opened Tamal Krishna Goswami remained in Juhu to

preach,

and after Gaura-purnima he was appointed GBC and (according to the

system

then) initiating guru for Bombay. At that time, one doctor, Omprakash

Agrawal, started to come and associate with Tamal Krishna Goswami and

began

to think of him as his spiritual master. He was very enthusiastic, and

one

day he came for darsana of Tamal Krishna Goswami in the room where the

two

of us were staying. After the doctor left, Goswami Maharaja remarked,

" He is

feeling the ecstasy of meeting, and we are feeling the ecstasy of

separation. "

 

Now coming back to the original story, although my relationship with

Tamal

Krishna Goswami and the other servants was stronger than with the

others, I

still wasn't completely sure about the controversy. After all, what the

other side said also had truth--that the disciple is meant to execute

the

order of the spiritual master and not try to challenge or change it.

Earlier, when Tamal Krishna Goswami had suggested that the proposal to

go on

parikrama by bullock cart " seems like suicide, " Srila Prabhupada had

replied, " But I think I shall be cured, " and later, " I will not die in

one

day. " So the side that said that we should just follow Srila

Prabhupada's

instructions felt vindicated: " See, Srila Prabhupada said he won't die;

rather, he'll be cured. " Yet each side would take whatever Srila

Prabhupada

said as support of their position. Thus, the other side responded, " But

what

does that mean? It means he'll probably leave his body and that'll be

the

cure--he'll get his spiritual body. " The same controversy took different

forms. And the one side insisted, " You can't interpret; we just have to

accept the orders. " And myself, I really wasn't quite sure.

 

Two days after Srila Prabhupada left, I went into his room in Vrndavana.

After chanting some rounds, I sat down behind the bed, close to Srila

Prabhupada's bookshelves. The second volume of the Tenth Canto had just

arrived and was on the shelf behind Srila Prabhupada's bed. I picked up

the

volume and was paging through it when I came upon one or two verses that

to

my mind answered the question at hand. Here is one verse:

 

evam sandarsita hy anga

harina bhrtya-vasyata

sva-vasenapi krsnena

yasyedam sesvaram vase

 

" O Maharaja Pariksit, this entire universe with its great, exalted

demigods

like Lord Siva, Lord Brahma, and Lord Indra, is under the control of the

Supreme Personality of Godhead, yet the Supreme Lord has one

transcendental

attribute: He comes under the control of his devotees. This is now

exhibited

by Krsna in this pastime. " (SB 10.9.19)

 

Then I thought, " This is what happened: although no disciple--in fact,

no

human being--could control Srila Prabhupada, he voluntarily came under

the

control of his disciples, the love of his disciples. " For some time

Tamal

Krishna Goswami and other devotees had remarked that Srila Prabhupada

was

acting with us in such a way at the end as to bring out our spontaneous

affection for him, to bring us beyond just following the rules and

regulations--to actually feel transcendental affection for him and to

express our affection for him. And that night that Tamal Krishna Goswami

and

Bhavananda Maharaja came down from upstairs and Bhakti Caru Swami was

there

with Babaji Maharaja, Tamal Krishna Goswami commented to Srila

Prabhupada,

" Actually, Srila Prabhupada, we're so attached to you that sometimes you

practically dive us to madness. Tonight we were becoming mad. The way

you

deal with us simply deepens our attachment for you at every moment. " And

Srila Prabhupada replied, " It is my duty. "

 

So, in conclusion, I felt that was what Srila Prabhupada was doing at

the

end--increasing our attachment for him and bringing out our spontaneous

love.

 

And it is spontaneous, pure love that ultimately binds Lord Krsna. As

devotees sing daily in the month of Damodara (Kartika):

 

itidrk sva-lilabhir ananda-kunde

sva-ghosam nimajjantam akhyapayantam

tadiyesita-jnesu bhaktair jitatvam

punah prematas tam satavrtti vande

 

damodaram bhakti-baddham

 

" By such pastimes, He is drowning the inhabitants of Gokula in pools of

ecstasy, and is revealing to those absorbed in knowledge of His supreme

majesty that He is conquered only by devotees whose pure love is imbued

with

intimacy and is free from conceptions of awe and reverence. . . . To

this

Supreme Lord, Sri Damodara, who is bound with His devotee's pure love, I

offer my humble obeisances. " (Padma Purana, Damodarastaka 3, 2)

 

Hare Krsna!