Hari tum harO...

[Guest guest]

Dandavat Pranams!

 

This morning I awoke in a bed of tears. Last night I went to bed declaring

myself to be His " dasi Joyceie laala Giridhara. " I must be more careful what I

declare...this morning He calls upon me to do so in a way which brings forth a

flood of tears before He boots me out of bed to get to work.

 

The subject of my assignment...racism...below is the text of the note I have

written this morning to send Jesse, my 9 year old son, back to school on Tuesday

morning, as the children are off from school on Monday to celebrate the birthday

of Martin Luther King Jr. :

 

Dear Monica:

 

It is with great sadness that I write this explanation for Jesse's absence from

school this past Friday, January 15. On Thursday evening, Jesse set the stage

for his stay home the

 

next day, telling me he did not feel well, that his belly hurt and he had a

headache. When I went upstairs to wake him in the morning, he first told me that

he had thrown up in my bathroom. Being an attorney provides me with the skills I

need to get to the truth, so I asked him, point blank, " Where did you throw

up...did you do it in the toilet? " " Yes " he tells me " Did you flush it yet? " He

now knows where I am headded, to the toilet to sniff for the unmistakable smell

of vomit. So he backs off and admits that he " almost " threw up. Still, he

persists in saying that he does not feel well..his belly hurts. So I move on.

" Well, I have to go somewhere this morning, and I cannot change the commitment.

That means you will have to stay home by yourself, or you can come with me, but

I still have to go. Also, you do not go out anywhere today and no friends are

allowed to come to the house, even if you happen te feel better later today. Got

it? "

 

He thinks for a moment, and despite the thought that he might be here alone and

has to stay confined to the house all day, insists that he does not feel well.

Having passed my test of his veracity, I let him stay home. As has happened

before, as the day wears on, he becomes " cured. " When my ex-husband stops by to

visit him, he is not allowed to go out and hang out somewhere with him since he

had stayed home sick that day. Observing his miraculous recovery from his belly

ache as we hear him squealing down the hallway playing one of his video games,

his father suggests that he will try to see the real reason behind his absence,

as he is of the opinion that there is usually some motive behind the boys'

" illnesses " which cause them to miss school. While I trust my own judgment on

this most of the time, this time, I could not help but wonder as well, so he

goes back to hang out with him and see what he can find out.

 

He emerges from the room a few minutes later to tell me that Jesse says his

homework was too hard. Homework? He told me he had no homework. Little liar! But

he has gone to school before not having done his homework to face the

consequences and has never had trouble confessing to me in the morning before

school that he had homework. Still I do not think much about it as I am cooking

and preoccupied with that. His dad goes back to him again. About ten minutes

later, he comes out again to tell me this...The day before, Thursday, after he

got on the bus, he sat in the seat across from a boy named Mark and his younger

brother. With his younger brother listening, Mark turned to Jesse and

said... " Silly rabbit, Trix are for niggers. " It was such a stupid childish

statement, a silly joke really. He may not have had any conception of what he

was saying, yet his message delivered itself into my heart with the sharp

butcher knife of prejudice. He does not want to talk about it, but I wonder how

the knife felt in Jesse's heart.

 

At first, he was upset with his dad for telling me this, already hearing me from

down the hallway saying that I wanted to have a conference with the boy and his

parents and the school guidance counselor. He does not want to talk about it. He

also informs me, in all my whiteness, that my ancestors probably had slaves. I

laugh and tell him that my ancestors did not have enough money to be slave

owners, but his thoughts and feelings do not go unnoticed towards my whiteness.

Of course, he has the advantage of having a mother who loves him and whom he

loves, who wraps her arms around him and takes him into her heart, so he has an

immediate salve to the racism around him by his very life circumstances.

 

Based upon further questioning, he has told me that the young boy's name is Mark

or Marc and that he is in the 4th grade and he has a younger brother who rides

the bus home with him. They are already on the bus when Jesse gets on in the

morning. In the afternoon on the way home, they get off at the busstop located

near the intersection of Old Lincoln Highway with Maple Avenue, near Connie's

Water Ice.

 

Please determine who the child is so that we can arrange a meeting at school

with him and his younger brother and at least one of his parents. Please be

assured that I am not angry...I lived with racial prejudice for many years when

I was married to Jesse's father, which included my father's inability to accept

my life choices because of his own racism. I have already processed and clearly

understand that many good people, my father having been one of them, are

prejudiced, so I have no axe to grind. However, I do want this young boy and his

parents to clearly understand the ramifications of his statement. And his

younger brother who was witness to the comment. My young son did not want to go

to school Friday because of it and I am still crying tears of sadness and pain

for him as I write this note to you.

 

When I try to question him he does not want to talk to me about it. I asked him

why and he said " Because you will try to make it right. " While I am secretly

pleased that he sees me that way, I am also saddened knowing that he has no

trouble coming to me to make it right when he gets into a fight with his

brother, or his belly hurts, or one of the bigger neighborhood boys got too

rough with him and hurt him. His father tells me that Jesse is fine and that he

is an intelligent young boy and will handle it, just like he did. I am not

satisfied with this answer or this approach. Yesterday, we celebrated the

birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr, .to honor him and his contributions to our

world. Today, our first black president will move into the White House, marking

the beginning of a new era for the world around us. As he walks through those

doors and sets up house, the suffering around him will not stop just because he

is there. It will take much more than that to slowly erase the lines created by

racism in our world, and it is not his job...under His guidance, it is ours. I

await your response to my request.

 

Sincerely,

 

 

 

Joyce Sweinberg

 

---

 

And so, here I go again...asking of Him...and of you, to join me in this prayer

to Him...

 

Dear Lord, please enter my heart and fill me with the wisdom I need to

understand your wishes and the courage to serve you as you uphold Sanatana

Dharma throughout the world. Shriyah-karam!!!

 

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To see my beautiful Jesse and his older brother Jason and read the story of how

they came to me,

below...http://www.omshaantih.com/Thank/you.html

 

In His Service,

 

Joyce