Guest guest Posted November 9, 2006 Report Share Posted November 9, 2006 How should you deal with or act with someone who acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself? How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all they care about is their welfare but not yours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2006 Report Share Posted November 9, 2006 , " Nambudiri, Suraj \(S.K.\) " <snambudi wrote: > How should you deal with or act with someone who acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself? > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all they care about is their welfare but not yours? > This is how I would respond: I would see to it that I am not selfish before I can judge another to be selfish. If I understand what is behind all hurts and selfishness and not get hurt myself in such circumstances then only I can effectively explain to someone how to deal with hurts. So Do I get hurt, is the correct question to ask ourselves. For me, I see that my images about me which I carry from what I think of myself and what others have told about me is the culprit. I am identified with images as if they are me and therefore when they are conflicted as they eventually do, I get hurt. Its all false to live in such a way measuring us by what people think about me and I think about me. It is like giving them weapon to destroy my happiness. SO I will not live like that. Now this is a tremedous discovery about living without getting hurt. If I am honest with myself then I can explain to my loved ones who is hurt by another in this way way. Hopefully this will sink and at least hurts will not be the issue. When I am not hurt I can take objective actions to resolve problem meaningfully with person who apparantly hurts. SUch actions are unselfish which consider the interests of all or both parties involved in hurts! This is my answer and also answers both parts of question> Thanks for such questions as it helps me to learn and to articulate my understanding. FROM MODERATOR: THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR DISTRIBUTION TO THE GROUP. HOWEVER SINCE THIS GROUP WAS ESTABLISHED TO ENHANCE THE UNDERSTANDING OF GITA, PLEASE KINDLY SUPPLEMENT FUTURE RESPONSES WITH PERTINENT GITA SHLOKAS AND KINDLY STAY WITHIN THE GUIDELINES ESTABLISHED FOR THIS GROUP (/message/412). THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING. RAM RAM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2006 Report Share Posted November 10, 2006 Krishnaya Namaha, Wow, I have same question to ask, any one can answer our question? Thanks! Regards, Ananth Response from Swamiji's Messages - Shree Hari Swamiji emphasized the following points - 1. Firstly, do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish, 2) do not wish evil (bad) of anyone, including these individuals who are behaving selfishly and 3) do not do evil (bad) to anyone. By this simple act their behavior towards your loved ones will change over time. Swamiji also said that we are hurt when things do not happen according to our desires, to our wishes, our way. Even wanting someone else to behave differently to us (not wanting them to be selfish), is the same as wanting something from them and this too will make us dependent on them for our happiness. In this case we wish that they behave differently (not selfishly) with our loved ones. Let us not be hurt and give them this power over us. Pujya Swamiji placed great emphasis on our own bhava (attitude, intentions, expression), since we cannot control or influence someone else's selfishness or behavior. One thing we could possibly do is by having the bhava - " Let no one receive any sorrow. Let all be happy. " The feeling of well being and betterment of all. Just few thoughts that Swamiji has expressed in discourses. A Sadhak Ram Ram --- " Nambudiri, Suraj (S.K.) " <snambudi wrote: > > How should you deal with or act with someone who > acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself? > > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all > they care about is their welfare but not yours? > > > ______________________________\ ____ Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta. http://new.mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 >How should you deal with or act with someone who >acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself? > >How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all >they care about is their welfare but not yours? ***************** Divine One: Whenever there is " I " , there is ego. Again without " ego " , the body cannot exist. All the concepts of happiness and sorrow stem from that. As long as a person feels happiness, the feeling of sorrow will be there. One has to go beyond both. Now the question is how one will go beyond the dualities (e.g. happiness/sorrow, bad/good etc.) while living. This can only happen when the 'ego " is surrendered to its source (God, Supreme Consciousness or whatever you choose to call IT). One way this is possible is through practice, says Lord Krishna, the practice of " vairAgya " (Chapter 6 of Gita). " vaiRAgya " is the real surrender. Everything belongs to God and i carry out His instructions without question. This " vichAra " can be practiced by facing each event of life without being carried away. Do your best and leave the rest to the Lord. Do good, be good. Be righteous and on the path of Truth. Follow the path as directed by Realized Souls. Temple going, scripture reading, prabachana listening and all similar kinds of activities are merely portals to the path of spirituality. Those are not the end. For example a person can show the moon by directing with a finger. The seer has to look in the direction of the moon not be focused (stuck) on the finger. the finger. Similarly all the religious rituals have to be done with clear understanding. They are not the end in themselves. In most of the case it strengthens the " attachment " , " desires for materialism " etc. One has to be very careful. The best way to change others is by changing ourselves. humble regards -m >ananth lakshmanan <ananth_venky > > >Re: There is No Benefit in Selfishness >Fri, 10 Nov 2006 06:34:56 -0800 (PST) > >Krishnaya Namaha, > >Wow, I have same question to ask, any one can answer >our question? Thanks! > >Regards, >Ananth > >Response from Swamiji's Messages - >Shree Hari > >Swamiji emphasized the following points - >1. Firstly, do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking >of them as selfish, 2) do not wish evil (bad) of anyone, including these >individuals who are behaving selfishly and 3) do not do evil (bad) to >anyone. By this simple act their behavior towards your loved ones will >change over time. > >Swamiji also said that we are hurt when things do not happen according to >our desires, to our wishes, our way. Even wanting someone else to behave >differently to us (not wanting them to be selfish), is the same as wanting >something from them and this too will make us dependent on them for our >happiness. In this case we wish that they behave differently (not >selfishly) with our loved ones. Let us not be hurt and give them this >power over us. > >Pujya Swamiji placed great emphasis on our own bhava (attitude, intentions, >expression), since we cannot control or influence someone else's >selfishness or behavior. One thing we could possibly do is by having the >bhava - " Let no one receive any sorrow. Let all be happy. " The feeling of >well being and betterment of all. > >Just few thoughts that Swamiji has expressed in discourses. >A Sadhak >Ram Ram > > >--- " Nambudiri, Suraj (S.K.) " <snambudi >wrote: > > > > > How should you deal with or act with someone who > > acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly >yourself? > > > > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all > > they care about is their welfare but not yours? > > > > > > > > > > >_____________________________\ _____ > >Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta. >http://new.mail. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 shree hari VARIOUS RESPONSES CONSOLIDATED paritalagopikrishna Dear Fellow Travellers, Love and Love alone..... To expand it a little more of what Dear Sadhaka has written, one has to introspect to bring about coordination and synchronisation and learn from the lessons that the life bestows on us. Every minute is a new lesson for those, who are open to receive and accept what is in store. Surrender to the will of God is not only important but also essential. Look within and correct that which is of no help to realise the Ultimate. On having great conviction, dedication and devotion to align our will to the will of God, thereafter there is no looking back. --------------- FROM: mohan_manikkam Om Sai Krishna! The only way you can change others is to pray for them sincerely! Mohan --------------- avadhuta raya Ram Ram It was written in an earlier response - Do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish -- According to the Gita where Krishna himself makes distinction between saintly and demoniac people in the 16th chapter. Moreover, according to the Srimad Bhagavatam one should avoid demoniac, tamasic people; Preach to the Innocent and associate with devotees of Krishna. One may ask and what about equal vision of all living entities? Equal vision means to see them all as spirit Souls and Paramatma as Super Soul. In the Bhagavad-gita 5.18 it is said: "The humble sages, by virtue of true knowledge, see with equal vision a learned and gentle brahmana, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater [outcaste]. Successfully helping conditioned souls to proactively turn their worldly mentality towards Krishna's service is the best service, mercy, selflessness and worship of Krishna. This is confirmed by Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita 18.68-69: “One who preaches the message of Bhagavad-gita to My devotees is most dear to Me. No one can excel him in satisfying Me by worship.” Hare Krishna ard --------------- On 11/10/06, ananth lakshmanan <ananth_venky wrote: Krishnaya Namaha,Wow, I have same question to ask, any one can answerour question? Thanks!Regards,AnanthResponse from Swamiji's Messages - Shree Hari Swamiji emphasized the following points - 1. Firstly, do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish, 2) do not wish evil (bad) of anyone, including these individuals who are behaving selfishly and 3) do not do evil (bad) to anyone. By this simple act their behavior towards your loved ones will change over time. Swamiji also said that we are hurt when things do not happen according to our desires, to our wishes, our way. Even wanting someone else to behave differently to us (not wanting them to be selfish), is the same as wanting something from them and this too will make us dependent on them for our happiness. In this case we wish that they behave differently (not selfishly) with our loved ones. Let us not be hurt and give them this power over us. Pujya Swamiji placed great emphasis on our own bhava (attitude, intentions, expression), since we cannot control or influence someone else's selfishness or behavior. One thing we could possibly do is by having the bhava - " Let no one receive any sorrow. Let all be happy. " The feeling of well being and betterment of all. Just few thoughts that Swamiji has expressed in discourses. A SadhakRam Ram --- " Nambudiri, Suraj (S.K.) " < snambudiwrote:> > How should you deal with or act with someone who> acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself?> > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all > they care about is their welfare but not yours?> > > ________Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta. http://new.mail. -- Paritala Gopi Krishna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 MULTIPLE MESSAGES COMBINED: This is very factual and great observation. Those following the path of Jnana (knowledge), need both Vairagya (detachment) and Abhyasa (Practice) to counter the dualalities. Asamsayam Mahabaho manodhurnigrahanchalam Abhyasenathu Kountheya Vairagyenachagruhyathe Thanks and regards, Krishna ---- Gopi Krishna Love and Love alone.... Yes, by changing ourselves within, we can change without. Swami Chidananda, the Head of Divine Life Society, says "May the Lord grant us a higher vision, deeper understanding and the inner power and strength to take all things as they are. We can change ourselves from within, but we cannot change the universe. And that which cannot be changed has to be accepted and endured and experienced. And we can enrich ourselves with that experience. WE can also help others to understand." The Bhagavad Gita says "Tamstitikashasva bharata" - O Arjuna endure them bravely and go on forward, fulfil thy purpose, do thy duty, endure." This world, is ever-changing, temporary and unstable and it never endures. All things suddenly terminate. "Matrasparsastu kauteya sitoshna sukhaduhkhadah agamapayino nityas tamstitikshasva bharata" - The contacts of the senses with the objects, cause heat and cold, pleasure and pain, have a beginning and an end; they are impermanent; endure them bravely, O Arjuna." So, the path is clear and the vision is also clear. We need to change ourselves before trying to change others of their defects. Love and Love alone.... "Manoj Panda" <pandamanoj Re: There is No Benefit in Selfishness Mon, 13 Nov 2006 23:21:03 +0000> >How should you deal with or act with someone who> >acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself?> >> >How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all> >they care about is their welfare but not yours?>*****************>Divine One:>Whenever there is "I", there is ego. Again without "ego", the body cannot exist. All the concepts of happiness and sorrow stem from that. As long as a person feels happiness, the feeling of sorrow will be there. One has to go beyond both.>>Now the question is how one will go beyond the dualities (e.g. happiness/sorrow, bad/good etc.) while living.>>This can only happen when the 'ego" is surrendered to its source (God, Supreme Consciousness or whatever you choose to call IT). One way this is possible is through practice, says Lord Krishna, the practice of "vairAgya" (Chapter 6 of Gita). "vaiRAgya" is the real surrender. Everything belongs to God and i carry out His instructions>without question. This "vichAra" can be practiced by facing each event of life without being carried away. Do your best and leave the rest to the Lord. Do good, be good. Be righteous and on the path of Truth. Follow the path as directed by Realized Souls.>>Temple going, scripture reading, prabachana listening and all similar kinds of activities are merely portals to the path of spirituality. Those are not the end. For example a person can show the moon by directing with a finger. The seer has to look in the direction of the moon not be focused (stuck) on the finger.>the finger. Similarly all the religious rituals have to be done>with clear understanding. They are not the end in themselves. In most of the case it strengthens the "attachment", "desires for materialism" etc. One has to be very careful.>>The best way to change others is by changing ourselves.>>humble regards>-m>> >ananth lakshmanan <ananth_venky> > > > > >Re: There is No Benefit in Selfishness> >Fri, 10 Nov 2006 06:34:56 -0800 (PST)> >> >Krishnaya Namaha,> >> >Wow, I have same question to ask, any one can answer> >our question? Thanks!> >> >Regards,> >Ananth> >> >Response from Swamiji's Messages -> >Shree Hari> >> >Swamiji emphasized the following points -> >1. Firstly, do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking> >of them as selfish, 2) do not wish evil (bad) of anyone, including these> >individuals who are behaving selfishly and 3) do not do evil (bad) to> >anyone. By this simple act their behavior towards your loved ones will> >change over time.> >> >Swamiji also said that we are hurt when things do not happen according to> >our desires, to our wishes, our way. Even wanting someone else to behave> >differently to us (not wanting them to be selfish), is the same as wanting> >something from them and this too will make us dependent on them for our> >happiness. In this case we wish that they behave differently (not> >selfishly) with our loved ones. Let us not be hurt and give them this> >power over us.> >> >Pujya Swamiji placed great emphasis on our own bhava (attitude, intentions,> >expression), since we cannot control or influence someone else's> >selfishness or behavior. One thing we could possibly do is by having the> >bhava - "Let no one receive any sorrow. Let all be happy." The feeling of> >well being and betterment of all.> >> >Just few thoughts that Swamiji has expressed in discourses.> >A Sadhak> >Ram Ram> >> >> >--- "Nambudiri, Suraj (S.K.)" <snambudi> >wrote:> >> > >> > > How should you deal with or act with someone who> > > acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly> >yourself?> > >> > > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all> > > they care about is their welfare but not yours?> > >> > >> > >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta.> >http://new.mail.> >> >> >> >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2006 Report Share Posted November 18, 2006 Jai Shri Krishna, I have a related doubt ....i also believe in changing my surrounding for the better my making myself better...but there is one question which always lingers on my mind...if i see someone has a bad habit or someone whom i see is going in the wrong direction.. should i suggest him or advice him on the correct way.?often in the past it happened that whenever i advice someone even to people close to me, they have replied back saying curtly and rudely at times..that kindly mind your own business...i dont need advice ..i know what i am doing..... what should i do in such a scenario..should i ignore it and focus on improving myself only by learning what i shouldnt do myself?or should i suggest it to the person once...with the hope that maybe he will listen coz the worst case would bet that i would receive a rude reply which really hurts at times.but on the other hand there is the chance of making both you and the other person happy by helping him out. Kindly suggest as to what should be done in such scenarios...? Thanks and Regards, Shreevardhan KabraOn 11/14/06, Gopi Krishna Paritala <paritalagopikrishna > wrote: shree hari VARIOUS RESPONSES CONSOLIDATED paritalagopikrishna Dear Fellow Travellers, Love and Love alone..... To expand it a little more of what Dear Sadhaka has written, one has to introspect to bring about coordination and synchronisation and learn from the lessons that the life bestows on us. Every minute is a new lesson for those, who are open to receive and accept what is in store. Surrender to the will of God is not only important but also essential. Look within and correct that which is of no help to realise the Ultimate. On having great conviction, dedication and devotion to align our will to the will of God, thereafter there is no looking back. --------------- FROM: mohan_manikkam (AT) hotmail (DOT) com Om Sai Krishna! The only way you can change others is to pray for them sincerely! Mohan --------------- avadhuta raya Ram Ram It was written in an earlier response - Do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish -- According to the Gita where Krishna himself makes distinction between saintly and demoniac people in the 16th chapter. Moreover, according to the Srimad Bhagavatam one should avoid demoniac, tamasic people; Preach to the Innocent and associate with devotees of Krishna. One may ask and what about equal vision of all living entities? Equal vision means to see them all as spirit Souls and Paramatma as Super Soul. In the Bhagavad-gita 5.18 it is said: " The humble sages, by virtue of true knowledge, see with equal vision a learned and gentle brahmana, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater [outcaste]. Successfully helping conditioned souls to proactively turn their worldly mentality towards Krishna's service is the best service, mercy, selflessness and worship of Krishna. This is confirmed by Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita 18.68-69: "One who preaches the message of Bhagavad-gita to My devotees is most dear to Me. No one can excel him in satisfying Me by worship." Hare Krishna ard --------------- On 11/10/06, ananth lakshmanan < ananth_venky wrote: Krishnaya Namaha,Wow, I have same question to ask, any one can answerour question? Thanks!Regards,AnanthResponse from Swamiji's Messages - Shree Hari Swamiji emphasized the following points - 1. Firstly, do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish, 2) do not wish evil (bad) of anyone, including these individuals who are behaving selfishly and 3) do not do evil (bad) to anyone. By this simple act their behavior towards your loved ones will change over time. Swamiji also said that we are hurt when things do not happen according to our desires, to our wishes, our way. Even wanting someone else to behave differently to us (not wanting them to be selfish), is the same as wanting something from them and this too will make us dependent on them for our happiness. In this case we wish that they behave differently (not selfishly) with our loved ones. Let us not be hurt and give them this power over us. Pujya Swamiji placed great emphasis on our own bhava (attitude, intentions, expression), since we cannot control or influence someone else's selfishness or behavior. One thing we could possibly do is by having the bhava - " Let no one receive any sorrow. Let all be happy. " The feeling of well being and betterment of all. Just few thoughts that Swamiji has expressed in discourses. A SadhakRam Ram --- " Nambudiri, Suraj (S.K.) " < snambudiwrote:> > How should you deal with or act with someone who> acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself?> > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all > they care about is their welfare but not yours?> > > ________Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta. http://new.mail. -- Paritala Gopi Krishna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 2006 Report Share Posted November 20, 2006 I think there is no way to fix the boundaries of actions of someone in order to judge if those actions are a result of selfishness. Arjuna killed Karna after attaining Jnana. Arjuna wanted to withdraw from war but after attaining Jnana, he understood he can only be in war and not otherwise. Now Karna had no way to know whether Arjuna was going to kill him out of Jnana or Selfishness. Karna could only fight for Duryodhana as he could not have done otherwise as per his jnana. I think responsibility as felt by oneself is the best guideline to determine what action is appropriate for him/her to follow Dharma with out being attached to his/her actions. In your case you have to see if you are responsible for your loved ones or the supposedly selfish person or everybody . May GOD bless every one at the end!! Rajasekhar Hejeebu , " Nambudiri, Suraj \(S.K.\) " <snambudi wrote: > > > How should you deal with or act with someone who acts out of selfishness > and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself? > > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all they care about is > their welfare but not yours? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 2006 Report Share Posted November 20, 2006 I understand how you feel. I go thru this with my own family. I think they are doing something wrong and try to tell them but these are adult kids. So I have to put it as my opinion of what is right and wrong. But the key is - At least I have warned them, thereafter it is upto them to judge what is right for them. I get inner peace by doing my duty of telling them what I believe to be right, and thereafter do not carry the guilt if something happens. Also what may be wrong or bad for me may not be wrong or bad for them or any one we try to tell. Everyone has different situations. We have to do our duty and leave the rest up to God. This gives inner peace and not guilt. God always has reason for everything everyone does. Thanks Hema >>> "shree kabra" <shree.learnings 11/18/2006 2:04 AM >>> Jai Shri Krishna, I have a related doubt ....i also believe in changing my surrounding for the better my making myself better...but there is one question which always lingers on my mind...if i see someone has a bad habit or someone whom i see is going in the wrong direction.. should i suggest him or advice him on the correct way.?often in the past it happened that whenever i advice someone even to people close to me, they have replied back saying curtly and rudely at times..that kindly mind your own business...i dont need advice ..i know what i am doing..... what should i do in such a scenario..should i ignore it and focus on improving myself only by learning what i shouldnt do myself?or should i suggest it to the person once...with the hope that maybe he will listen coz the worst case would bet that i would receive a rude reply which really hurts at times.but on the other hand there is the chance of making both you and the other person happy by helping him out. Kindly suggest as to what should be done in such scenarios...? Thanks and Regards, Shreevardhan Kabra On 11/14/06, Gopi Krishna Paritala <paritalagopikrishna > wrote: shree hari VARIOUS RESPONSES CONSOLIDATED paritalagopikrishna Dear Fellow Travellers, Love and Love alone..... To expand it a little more of what Dear Sadhaka has written, one has to introspect to bring about coordination and synchronisation and learn from the lessons that the life bestows on us. Every minute is a new lesson for those, who are open to receive and accept what is in store. Surrender to the will of God is not only important but also essential. Look within and correct that which is of no help to realise the Ultimate. On having great conviction, dedication and devotion to align our will to the will of God, thereafter there is no looking back. --------------- FROM: mohan_manikkam (AT) hotmail (DOT) com Om Sai Krishna! The only way you can change others is to pray for them sincerely! Mohan --------------- avadhuta raya Ram Ram It was written in an earlier response - Do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish -- According to the Gita where Krishna himself makes distinction between saintly and demoniac people in the 16th chapter. Moreover, according to the Srimad Bhagavatam one should avoid demoniac, tamasic people; Preach to the Innocent and associate with devotees of Krishna. One may ask and what about equal vision of all living entities? Equal vision means to see them all as spirit Souls and Paramatma as Super Soul. In the Bhagavad-gita 5.18 it is said: "The humble sages, by virtue of true knowledge, see with equal vision a learned and gentle brahmana, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater [outcaste]. Successfully helping conditioned souls to proactively turn their worldly mentality towards Krishna's service is the best service, mercy, selflessness and worship of Krishna. This is confirmed by Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita 18.68-69: "One who preaches the message of Bhagavad-gita to My devotees is most dear to Me. No one can excel him in satisfying Me by worship." Hare Krishna ard --------------- On 11/10/06, ananth lakshmanan < ananth_venky > wrote: Krishnaya Namaha,Wow, I have same question to ask, any one can answerour question? Thanks!Regards,AnanthResponse from Swamiji's Messages - Shree Hari Swamiji emphasized the following points - 1. Firstly, do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish, 2) do not wish evil (bad) of anyone, including these individuals who are behaving selfishly and 3) do not do evil (bad) to anyone. By this simple act their behavior towards your loved ones will change over time. Swamiji also said that we are hurt when things do not happen according to our desires, to our wishes, our way. Even wanting someone else to behave differently to us (not wanting them to be selfish), is the same as wanting something from them and this too will make us dependent on them for our happiness. In this case we wish that they behave differently (not selfishly) with our loved ones. Let us not be hurt and give them this power over us. Pujya Swamiji placed great emphasis on our own bhava (attitude, intentions, expression), since we cannot control or influence someone else's selfishness or behavior. One thing we could possibly do is by having the bhava - "Let no one receive any sorrow. Let all be happy." The feeling of well being and betterment of all. Just few thoughts that Swamiji has expressed in discourses. A SadhakRam Ram --- "Nambudiri, Suraj (S.K.)" < snambudi (AT) ford (DOT) com>wrote:> > How should you deal with or act with someone who> acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself?> > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all > they care about is their welfare but not yours?> > > ________Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta. http://new.mail.-- Paritala Gopi Krishna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 21, 2006 Report Share Posted November 21, 2006 Jai Shri Krishna..!yes i believe that is best approach that we can take...but there is one problem to it....lets say you find that someone who is ur good friend or some relative who is smaller than you..taking a wrong decision(well according to u) you suggest him/her that this is what he should do according to you....but at that moment he decides to ignore you...After some time when the decision goes wrong...he/she comes to you and tell you since you knew it that it would go wrong why didnt you stop me from doing it...and even though u remind him that you did suggest him..the answer you get is...if you would have been a little more forceful, i wouldnt have done it.... how should one handle such situations..? What are your thoughts on this? Does Gita address approaches to problem solving ? Where in Gita? Thanks and Regards, Shreevardhan On 11/20/06, Hema Gandhi-contr <Hema.gandhi-contr wrote: I understand how you feel. I go thru this with my own family. I think they are doing something wrong and try to tell them but these are adult kids. So I have to put it as my opinion of what is right and wrong. But the key is - At least I have warned them, thereafter it is upto them to judge what is right for them. I get inner peace by doing my duty of telling them what I believe to be right, and thereafter do not carry the guilt if something happens. Also what may be wrong or bad for me may not be wrong or bad for them or any one we try to tell. Everyone has different situations. We have to do our duty and leave the rest up to God. This gives inner peace and not guilt. God always has reason for everything everyone does. Thanks Hema >>> " shree kabra " < shree.learnings 11/18/2006 2:04 AM >>> Jai Shri Krishna, I have a related doubt ....i also believe in changing my surrounding for the better my making myself better...but there is one question which always lingers on my mind... if i see someone has a bad habit or someone whom i see is going in the wrong direction.. should i suggest him or advice him on the correct way.?often in the past it happened that whenever i advice someone even to people close to me, they have replied back saying curtly and rudely at times..that kindly mind your own business...i dont need advice ..i know what i am doing..... what should i do in such a scenario.. should i ignore it and focus on improving myself only by learning what i shouldnt do myself?or should i suggest it to the person once...with the hope that maybe he will listen coz the worst case would bet that i would receive a rude reply which really hurts at times.but on the other hand there is the chance of making both you and the other person happy by helping him out. Kindly suggest as to what should be done in such scenarios...? Thanks and Regards, Shreevardhan Kabra On 11/14/06, Gopi Krishna Paritala < paritalagopikrishna > wrote: shree hari VARIOUS RESPONSES CONSOLIDATED paritalagopikrishna Dear Fellow Travellers, Love and Love alone..... To expand it a little more of what Dear Sadhaka has written, one has to introspect to bring about coordination and synchronisation and learn from the lessons that the life bestows on us. Every minute is a new lesson for those, who are open to receive and accept what is in store. Surrender to the will of God is not only important but also essential. Look within and correct that which is of no help to realise the Ultimate. On having great conviction, dedication and devotion to align our will to the will of God, thereafter there is no looking back. --------------- FROM: mohan_manikkam@ hotmail.com Om Sai Krishna! The only way you can change others is to pray for them sincerely! Mohan --------------- avadhuta raya Ram Ram It was written in an earlier response - Do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish -- According to the Gita where Krishna himself makes distinction between saintly and demoniac people in the 16th chapter. Moreover, according to the Srimad Bhagavatam one should avoid demoniac, tamasic people; Preach to the Innocent and associate with devotees of Krishna. One may ask and what about equal vision of all living entities? Equal vision means to see them all as spirit Souls and Paramatma as Super Soul. In the Bhagavad-gita 5.18 it is said: " The humble sages, by virtue of true knowledge, see with equal vision a learned and gentle brahmana, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater [outcaste]. Successfully helping conditioned souls to proactively turn their worldly mentality towards Krishna's service is the best service, mercy, selflessness and worship of Krishna. This is confirmed by Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita 18.68-69: " One who preaches the message of Bhagavad-gita to My devotees is most dear to Me. No one can excel him in satisfying Me by worship. " Hare Krishna ard --------------- On 11/10/06, ananth lakshmanan < ananth_venky > wrote: Krishnaya Namaha,Wow, I have same question to ask, any one can answerour question? Thanks!Regards,AnanthResponse from Swamiji's Messages - Shree Hari Swamiji emphasized the following points - 1. Firstly, do not understand anyone as evil (bad) which includes thinking of them as selfish, 2) do not wish evil (bad) of anyone, including these individuals who are behaving selfishly and 3) do not do evil (bad) to anyone. By this simple act their behavior towards your loved ones will change over time. Swamiji also said that we are hurt when things do not happen according to our desires, to our wishes, our way. Even wanting someone else to behave differently to us (not wanting them to be selfish), is the same as wanting something from them and this too will make us dependent on them for our happiness. In this case we wish that they behave differently (not selfishly) with our loved ones. Let us not be hurt and give them this power over us. Pujya Swamiji placed great emphasis on our own bhava (attitude, intentions, expression), since we cannot control or influence someone else's selfishness or behavior. One thing we could possibly do is by having the bhava - " Let no one receive any sorrow. Let all be happy. " The feeling of well being and betterment of all. Just few thoughts that Swamiji has expressed in discourses. A SadhakRam Ram --- " Nambudiri, Suraj (S.K.) " < snambudiwrote:> > How should you deal with or act with someone who> acts out of selfishness and hurts ones you love, but not directly yourself?> > How can you heal someone else's selfishness when all > they care about is their welfare but not yours?> > > ________Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta. http://new.mail. -- Paritala Gopi Krishna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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