Guest guest Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Shree Hari Ram Ram Dear Sadhakas: Namaste. I have been asked by a close friend of our family to advise him about ending his marriage. They have been separated for almost 4 years and there seems to be no way they will get back together. Both wife and husband been very reluctant hesitant to end the marriage but it is merely legalistic now with no love or romance or any desires by either husband or wife to continue the marriage. Also, It appears as if both parties are ready to develop other personal relationships. There are no children involved. My advice to him and others in a similar situation is that marriage is sacrosanct and should not be terminated except in rare circumstances. Marriage is an eternal bond that should not be broken and all efforts must be made and all avenues exhausted before even thinking of ending a marriage. But I have great difficulties in specifying what are these extenuating circumstances, if any, that would justify ending a marriage. Is there any advice or information in Bhagavad Gita that can help in situaitons like this? Are there justifiable circumstances when divorce and end of marriage are permitted in Hinduism? While the gravity and great significance of the HIndu marriage must be taken into account it appears, when faced with these situations, that there is a disconnect between practice of our Eternal Sanatan Dharma and some of the unpleasant and worldly matters. I use the word " appears " because I do not believe there exist such a disconnect and dissonance. Ram Ram, Richard Seecharan -------------------------- GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: FOR QUESTIONER 1. The questions as far as possible must be relavant to Gita, relavant to Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relavant to motivate Sadhaks to take up spiritual path 2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study 3. Only one question at a time. 4. Question must be brief, to the point and relavant to the group's primary aim of deeper understanding of Gita. FOR RESPONDER 1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted. 2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible. 3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas 4. Be as concise, to the point, relevant and respectful of sadhaka's time. 5. Focus on subject at hand only. 6. Do not include links to the other sites. 7. Do not include your personal information (Ph #, address etc). 8. Do not personalize message 9. All responses may not be posted. 10. Moderator at his discretion, may modify the posting. 11. Take into consideration the novices, youth, westerners, non- sectarian audience. i.e. limit the use to Sanskrit words only. Provide English word bracketed. MODERATOR Ram Ram ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Post message: @grou ps.com Subscribe: - Un: -unsubscri be ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 4, 2009 Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 Shree Hari Ram Ram Dear Sadhakas: Namaste. I have been asked by a close friend of our family to advise him about ending his marriage. They have been separated for almost 4 years and there seems to be no way they will get back together. Both wife and husband been very reluctant hesitant to end the marriage but it is merely legalistic now with no love or romance or any desires by either husband or wife to continue the marriage. Also, It appears as if both parties are ready to develop other personal relationships. There are no children involved. My advice to him and others in a similar situation is that marriage is sacrosanct and should not be terminated except in rare circumstances. Marriage is an eternal bond that should not be broken and all efforts must be made and all avenues exhausted before even thinking of ending a marriage. But I have great difficulties in specifying what are these extenuating circumstances, if any, that would justify ending a marriage. Is there any advice or information in Bhagavad Gita that can help in situaitons like this? Are there justifiable circumstances when divorce and end of marriage are permitted in Hinduism? While the gravity and great significance of the HIndu marriage must be taken into account it appears, when faced with these situations, that there is a disconnect between practice of our Eternal Sanatan Dharma and some of the unpleasant and worldly matters. I use the word " appears " because I do not believe there exist such a disconnect and dissonance. Ram Ram, Richard Seecharan -------------------------- NEW POSTING Dear Sadhakas, Namaste! First, both must try hard to stay in the marriage seeking counsel, involving common friend or relative who is trust worthy and fair. After giving it a fair chance, if it is not possible for the relationship to continue and no love is felt, then I think it should be ended amicably. Separation should be smooth and fair to both sides. Even here one should wish the other well! Richard, you have done your part very well in advising them not to break away such sacred bond just like that. However, it does appear to be one of rare cases where it would be better as there appears to be pains on both sides in the relationship. If they are forced to stay in it, suffering may resurface down the road if the love is lost again. If, at least, one of them is very sincere in trying hard to keep it going, but cannot do it alone, it may be better to end with the understanding on both part to do the best for each other. You can tell them this. God has given us the intelligence not to suffer unnecessarily. Our intellect may not see fairly and squarely because of ego-me, but if there is impersonal thinking, which is free of " me " and " mine " to a greater degree, then it is God given Intelligence that charts our course of action, becomes our charioteer. Gita tells us this. This may be a message to present generation to bring in spirituality in their lives rather than running around thinking " what is in it for me? " . Before marriage couples dream and depend for their happiness on physical attractions to each other as it is natural. However, this dependency soon brings the unhappiness because novelty wears off sooner than both think. The best we can teach our children is that become interested in God, Scriptures, Religion from the beginning. Once married, remember as often as you can the very useful mantra, " I can never find a better spouse than I already have " . And whenever there is problem, which is bound to happen here and there, say " This is just a small price to pay for the gift of this relationship " . You will succeed for sure! Namaskar.............. Pratap Bhatt ----------------------------- Dear Sadak, Husband responsibility is to take care of wife , like Sri Rama. Wife's responsibility is to totally surrender to husband under all circumstances, thereby she gets the benefit of Moksha/liberation. Difference of opinions can be sorted out by both under guidance of learned person. Jai Sri krishna B.Sathyanarayan -------------------------- This is the case of inner voice and feeling amongst both of them If there is any councillor between then he can try to see that both comes together.Actually speaking both ought to remember the words spoken at the time of marriage by the priest or the priest about some promises taken from both of them If there is no problem of any children it is better to give divorce and then live peacefully instead of quarreling for the rest of the life.This s the practical approach in human life S S Bhatt ------------------------- Hare Krishna, I am afraid that this group is moving towards a counseling service for unhappy married/unmarried people. I will be happy if I am wrong. Any way as far as I understand Gita deals with mental state of a person. Even Swamiji emphasized more on mental state than KARMA. If we do some thing with bad (selfish) intention then it is sin. We live in a society and so we have to follow the norms of the society we live in. Ashok Goenka ------------------------- GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: FOR QUESTIONER 1. The questions as far as possible must be relavant to Gita, relavant to Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relavant to motivate Sadhaks to take up spiritual path 2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study 3. Only one question at a time. 4. Question must be brief, to the point and relavant to the group's primary aim of deeper understanding of Gita. FOR RESPONDER 1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted. 2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible. 3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas 4. Be as concise, to the point, relevant and respectful of sadhaka's time. 5. Focus on subject at hand only. 6. Do not include links to the other sites. 7. Do not include your personal information (Ph #, address etc). 8. Do not personalize message 9. All responses may not be posted. 10. Moderator at his discretion, may modify the posting. 11. Take into consideration the novices, youth, westerners, non- sectarian audience. i.e. limit the use to Sanskrit words only. Provide English word bracketed. MODERATOR Ram Ram ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Post message: @grou ps.com Subscribe: - Un: -unsubscri be ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 Shree Hari Ram Ram Dear Sadhakas: Namaste. I have been asked by a close friend of our family to advise him about ending his marriage. They have been separated for almost 4 years and there seems to be no way they will get back together. Both wife and husband been very reluctant hesitant to end the marriage but it is merely legalistic now with no love or romance or any desires by either husband or wife to continue the marriage. Also, It appears as if both parties are ready to develop other personal relationships. There are no children involved. My advice to him and others in a similar situation is that marriage is sacrosanct and should not be terminated except in rare circumstances. Marriage is an eternal bond that should not be broken and all efforts must be made and all avenues exhausted before even thinking of ending a marriage. But I have great difficulties in specifying what are these extenuating circumstances, if any, that would justify ending a marriage. Is there any advice or information in Bhagavad Gita that can help in situaitons like this? Are there justifiable circumstances when divorce and end of marriage are permitted in Hinduism? While the gravity and great significance of the HIndu marriage must be taken into account it appears, when faced with these situations, that there is a disconnect between practice of our Eternal Sanatan Dharma and some of the unpleasant and worldly matters. I use the word " appears " because I do not believe there exist such a disconnect and dissonance. Ram Ram, Richard Seecharan -------------------------- NEW POSTING -Shree Hari- I can understand Ashok Goenka's annoyance, but if one looks at the question calmly, one realizes, that Richard is holding his question under the lamp of Sanatan Dharma, Bhagavad Gita. I see this question as a challenge, certainly to me as the only recourse I have is Gitaji, and I have seen comments to the fact that there is no direct mention of marriage in the Bhagavad Gita. Possibly Bhagavad Gita Ch:3/19 below may apply to the question. Therefore, constantly unattached Perform that which is your duty. Indeed by unattached action Man surely attains the Supreme. As for Hindu customs regarding marriage, that will have to be answered by others. I have seen a few failed marriages, often caused by desire, not only for another person, but for booze, drugs, money, to self serve and so on. Would desire be the the root cause of this marriage breakup Richard I wonder? With Respect and Divine Love, Mike (Keenor). -------------------------- Hari Om The concern of the Questioner is genuine and praise worthy. But the fact remains that this world is going its own way , which way has been brought out in our Scriptures ages ago. Refer Ramayana- Uttar Kaand, where the direction, to which majority would go as Kaliyuga clouds get dense , is described. Here the questioner can only be advised to sincerely tell the couple to see the reason. There is no need for any extra insistence. This world is going to the dogs. Let we ourselves become cautious. To the others we can not mould beyond a limit. Refer Gita 3:33 – NIGRAHAH KIM KARISHYATI ? The world is like the dog's curly tail, millions have tried to straighten it out, none has succeeded. This is not to discourage the questioner. This is not to undermine the importance of wise counsel in human life, but this is to state that beyond a point, there is no benefit. Many times right advice even becomes counter productive. Let there be a session on Gita 3:33 ! Jai Shree Krishna Vyas N B ---------------------------- Hello In my humble opinion, knowledge will definitely help. Give a fair chance for the spiritual knowledge to act on them. As far as one is not ready to accept each other as they are, it is not going to help them even going forward (even if they seperate and have personal relationships) . The situation will simply continue as if it is the same movie with diffetent characters. You know when we like something, the next thing we will be doing is to possess it. When we like beauty we want to possess it and then get hold of its neck thinking that it is love. Love is surrender, not possession. That is what devotion in spirituality teaches you. Surrender will not happen without faith and trust. Love should make you free and if it does not make you free it will gets transformed into fear and hatred. Infact love does not need any expression. You just have to be in silence and it blossom naturally.Appreciations happens naturally. When you try to express, it will get spoiled because no words can express it in its fullness. No actions can express it in its fullness. Even Ego which plays spoilsport in marriages is due to lack of knowledge. Ego brings lack of belongingness. It foster a sense of separation. Ego will dissolve naturally without any effort when you are in spirituality. You must have heard the sanskrit word " Pooja " . " Poo " means Full. " Ja " means Out of. So " Pooja " means " Out of Fullness " . What comes out of fullness is reverence/gratitude. It is an act of showing gratitude towards the GOD. When you are in gratitude towards the Devine naturally you will have gratitude towards all his creations also. Where is the place for Ego, hatred, fear then. In Geetha, Lord Krishna talks a lot about these manifestations and more importantly how to get out of these. (Chapter 2, text 56, 57, 66, 67 ). With warm regards = = = = = = = = = Venu Gopal = = = = = = = = = --------------------------- sita ram i think you have to listen to your heart,what is it telling you , and ask yourself do you really want to end your marriage, is it worth it ,i mean you had to love your wife before taking or making that huge step. ask your self these questions. why do i want to end this marriage? why don't we love each other? why no romance in our marriage? can i make it work? do i have to divorce? only you can decide. in marriage you compromise, with certain things, because for me no one is perfect only god, well its a very hurtful situation, i wish you all the best. sorry to say this....i dont know much about this forum but i think everyone is very intelligent i see no reason why you can give people advice, we who dont know much as these great ones in GITA TALK. sita ram sharmilla doma ---------------------------- PRIOR POSTING Dear Sadhakas, Namaste! First, both must try hard to stay in the marriage seeking counsel, involving common friend or relative who is trust worthy and fair. After giving it a fair chance, if it is not possible for the relationship to continue and no love is felt, then I think it should be ended amicably. Separation should be smooth and fair to both sides. Even here one should wish the other well! Richard, you have done your part very well in advising them not to break away such sacred bond just like that. However, it does appear to be one of rare cases where it would be better as there appears to be pains on both sides in the relationship. If they are forced to stay in it, suffering may resurface down the road if the love is lost again. If, at least, one of them is very sincere in trying hard to keep it going, but cannot do it alone, it may be better to end with the understanding on both part to do the best for each other. You can tell them this. God has given us the intelligence not to suffer unnecessarily. Our intellect may not see fairly and squarely because of ego-me, but if there is impersonal thinking, which is free of " me " and " mine " to a greater degree, then it is God given Intelligence that charts our course of action, becomes our charioteer. Gita tells us this. This may be a message to present generation to bring in spirituality in their lives rather than running around thinking " what is in it for me? " . Before marriage couples dream and depend for their happiness on physical attractions to each other as it is natural. However, this dependency soon brings the unhappiness because novelty wears off sooner than both think. The best we can teach our children is that become interested in God, Scriptures, Religion from the beginning. Once married, remember as often as you can the very useful mantra, " I can never find a better spouse than I already have " . And whenever there is problem, which is bound to happen here and there, say " This is just a small price to pay for the gift of this relationship " . You will succeed for sure! Namaskar.............. Pratap Bhatt ----------------------------- Dear Sadak, Husband responsibility is to take care of wife , like Sri Rama. Wife's responsibility is to totally surrender to husband under all circumstances, thereby she gets the benefit of Moksha/liberation. Difference of opinions can be sorted out by both under guidance of learned person. Jai Sri krishna B.Sathyanarayan -------------------------- This is the case of inner voice and feeling amongst both of them If there is any councillor between then he can try to see that both comes together.Actually speaking both ought to remember the words spoken at the time of marriage by the priest or the priest about some promises taken from both of them If there is no problem of any children it is better to give divorce and then live peacefully instead of quarreling for the rest of the life.This s the practical approach in human life S S Bhatt ------------------------- Hare Krishna, I am afraid that this group is moving towards a counseling service for unhappy married/unmarried people. I will be happy if I am wrong. Any way as far as I understand Gita deals with mental state of a person. Even Swamiji emphasized more on mental state than KARMA. If we do some thing with bad (selfish) intention then it is sin. We live in a society and so we have to follow the norms of the society we live in. Ashok Goenka ------------------------- GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: FOR QUESTIONER 1. The questions as far as possible must be relavant to Gita, relavant to Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relavant to motivate Sadhaks to take up spiritual path 2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study 3. Only one question at a time. 4. Question must be brief, to the point and relavant to the group's primary aim of deeper understanding of Gita. FOR RESPONDER 1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted. 2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible. 3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas 4. Be as concise, to the point, relevant and respectful of sadhaka's time. 5. Focus on subject at hand only. 6. Do not include links to the other sites. 7. Do not include your personal information (Ph #, address etc). 8. Do not personalize message 9. All responses may not be posted. 10. Moderator at his discretion, may modify the posting. 11. Take into consideration the novices, youth, westerners, non- sectarian audience. i.e. limit the use to Sanskrit words only. Provide English word bracketed. MODERATOR Ram Ram ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Post message: @grou ps.com Subscribe: - Un: -unsubscri be ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2009 Report Share Posted March 13, 2009 Shree HariRam RamDear Sadhakas:Namaste.I have been asked by a close friend of our family to advise himabout ending his marriage. They have been separated for almost 4years and there seems to be no way they will get back together.Both wife and husband been very reluctant hesitant to end themarriage but it is merely legalistic now with no love or romance orany desires by either husband or wife to continue the marriage.Also, It appears as if both parties are ready to develop otherpersonal relationships. There are no children involved.My advice to him and others in a similar situation is that marriageis sacrosanct and should not be terminated except in rarecircumstances. Marriage is an eternal bond that should not bebroken and all efforts must be made and all avenues exhausted beforeeven thinking of ending a marriage. But I have great difficulties inspecifying what are these extenuating circumstances, if any, thatwould justify ending a marriage.Is there any advice or information in Bhagavad Gita that can help insituaitons like this? Are there justifiable circumstances whendivorce and end of marriage are permitted in Hinduism? While thegravity and great significance of the HIndu marriage must be takeninto account it appears, when faced with these situations, thatthere is a disconnect between practice of our Eternal Sanatan Dharmaand some of the unpleasant and worldly matters. I use theword "appears" because I do not believe there exist such adisconnect and dissonance.Ram Ram,Richard Seecharan--------------------------NEW POSTING Shree Hari This is to Richard: I have been asked by a close friend of our family to advise himabout ending his marriage---did your close friend marry according to Hindu marriage ceremony? If they did then ---merely legalistic now with no love or romance or any desires by either husband or wife to continue the marriage..--has nothing to do with their marriage. Hindu marriage is not based on any of the above ,it is based more on respect,is a spiritual partnership.. Marriageis sacrosanct and should not be terminated in no circumstances.You want to know where in Gitaji it advises about marriages. Gitaji preaches about Dharma which is Duty. When a man marry according to Hindu rites he performs Kanyadaan. This is the cermony where parents hands over their daughter to the husband and he swears in front God and the people witnessing that he will take care of that girl. It is now his duty to take total care of the wife like the parents took care of their daughter. He does not have a choice any more as he took the vow himself. Whether there is problem in marriage, husband is duty bound to take care of wife. No if and buts and excuses that these are moderntimes.Gitaji was spoken in ancent times but the truths in Gitaji are for eternity that is duty is duty.Anyone who follows Gitaji will never do anything against Dharma. Shree Krishnaji made Arjunaji perform his duty even though he did not want to do it. Richard,you are close friend with husband so your advise to him is that if he is a follower of Gitaji and he is cares about Dharma then he must perform his duty as is prescribed in Hindu mariage vows.. Same should be told to wife and you should tell this to her too. Radhe Krishna Ram Singh --------------- NamasteThanks to everyone for the great advice.There is an issue that appears to be complex but it may simple to answer. If two people are unhappy and they don't want to be together after several years of separation and they are pursuing relationships then isn't it proper that they divorce and go their separate ways rather than living in sin. I think it is sin if you are married and although separated you are having relationship with someone else. It is even more sinful if you are married and commit yourself to another person. I humbly think that it is better they divorce rather than live in sin.But we should not encourage Hindus to break their marriages so how can we deal with this difficult matter in the context I described.As for the sadhak who was not too happy with these discussion I suggest Gita is not only about discussion of the scriptures in isolation but how we can use Gita to improve our lives and how to apply Gita to everything that affects us.Ram Ram ,Richard Seecharan------- Dear SadhakasWe all doubtless sympathise with the estranged couples. And would do willinglywhat we could to save the marriage.My feeling is spirituality does not exist in a vacuum. It exists in, among and through the people.Secondly Religion is not an atomic science reserved only for a few. It is an everyday practise. The word "sadhaka" means practiser, accomplishing, a devotee, an ascetic.So, what is wrong if people ask about their worries and we answer them from our spirituality point of view.Thirdly, i have my own doubt. What role is played by marriage in a sadhaka's life. it is totally not clear. is it a hinderance. or a help. What the scriptures say for a person who want to progress spiritually.What type of mate to be chosen. How the life has to be conducted?Can the exalted sadhakas explain this with reference to BGSiva --------- ----------------------------- PRIOR POSTING-Shree Hari-I can understand Ashok Goenka's annoyance, but if one looks at the questioncalmly, one realizes, that Richard is holding his question under the lamp ofSanatan Dharma, Bhagavad Gita.I see this question as a challenge, certainly to me as the only recourse I haveis Gitaji, and I have seen comments to the fact that there is no direct mentionof marriage in the Bhagavad Gita.Possibly Bhagavad Gita Ch:3/19 below may apply to the question.Therefore, constantly unattachedPerform that which is your duty.Indeed by unattached actionMan surely attains the Supreme.As for Hindu customs regarding marriage, that will have to be answered byothers.I have seen a few failed marriages, often caused by desire, not only for anotherperson, but for booze, drugs, money, to self serve and so on.Would desire be the the root cause of this marriage breakup Richard I wonder?With Respect and Divine Love,Mike (Keenor).--------------------------Hari OmThe concern of the Questioner is genuine and praise worthy. But the fact remainsthat this world is going its own way , which way has been brought out in ourScriptures ages ago. Refer Ramayana- Uttar Kaand, where the direction, to whichmajority would go as Kaliyuga clouds get dense , is described. Here thequestioner can only be advised to sincerely tell the couple to see the reason.There is no need for any extra insistence. This world is going to the dogs. Letwe ourselves become cautious. To the others we can not mould beyond a limit.Refer Gita 3:33 – NIGRAHAH KIM KARISHYATI ? The world is like the dog's curlytail, millions have tried to straighten it out, none has succeeded. This is notto discourage the questioner. This is not to undermine the importance of wisecounsel in human life, but this is to state that beyond a point, there is nobenefit. Many times right advice even becomes counter productive. Let there bea session on Gita 3:33 !Jai Shree KrishnaVyas N B----------------------------HelloIn my humble opinion, knowledge will definitely help. Give a fair chance for thespiritual knowledge to act on them.As far as one is not ready to accept each other as they are, it is not going tohelp them even going forward (even if they seperate and have personalrelationships) . The situation will simply continue as if it is the same moviewith diffetent characters.You know when we like something, the next thing we will be doing is to possessit. When we like beauty we want to possess it and then get hold of its neckthinking that it is love. Love is surrender, not possession. That is whatdevotion in spirituality teaches you. Surrender will not happen without faithand trust. Love should make you free and if it does not make you free it willgets transformed into fear and hatred. Infact love does not need anyexpression. You just have to be in silence and it blossomnaturally.Appreciations happens naturally. When you try to express, it will getspoiled because no words can express it in its fullness. No actions can expressit in its fullness.Even Ego which plays spoilsport in marriages is due to lack of knowledge. Egobrings lack of belongingness. It foster a sense of separation. Ego will dissolvenaturally without any effort when you are in spirituality.You must have heard the sanskrit word "Pooja". "Poo" means Full. "Ja" means Outof. So "Pooja" means "Out of Fullness". What comes out of fullness isreverence/gratitude. It is an act of showing gratitude towards the GOD. When youare in gratitude towards the Devine naturally you will have gratitude towardsall his creations also. Where is the place for Ego, hatred, fear then.In Geetha, Lord Krishna talks a lot about these manifestations and moreimportantly how to get out of these. (Chapter 2, text 56, 57, 66, 67 ).With warm regards= = = = = = = = =Venu Gopal= = = = = = = = =---------------------------sita rami think you have to listen to your heart,what is it telling you , and askyourself do you really want to end your marriage, is it worth it ,i mean youhad to love your wife before taking or making that huge step. ask your selfthese questions.why do i want to end this marriage? why don't we love each other? why no romancein our marriage? can i make it work? do i have to divorce? only you can decide.in marriage you compromise, with certain things, because for me no one isperfect only god, well its a very hurtful situation, i wish you all the best.sorry to say this....i dont know much about this forum but i think everyone isvery intelligent i see no reason why you can give people advice, we who dontknow much as these great ones in GITA TALK.sita ramsharmilla doma----------------------------PRIOR POSTINGDear Sadhakas, Namaste!First, both must try hard to stay in the marriage seeking counsel, involvingcommon friend or relative who is trust worthy and fair. After giving it a fairchance, if it is not possible for the relationship to continue and no love isfelt, then I think it should be ended amicably.Separation should be smooth and fair to both sides. Even here one should wishthe other well!Richard, you have done your part very well in advising them not to break awaysuch sacred bond just like that. However, it does appear to be one of rare caseswhere it would be better as there appears to be pains on both sides in therelationship. If they are forced to stay in it, suffering may resurface down theroad if the love is lost again.If, at least, one of them is very sincere in trying hard to keep it going, butcannot do it alone, it may be better to end with the understanding on both partto do the best for each other.You can tell them this.God has given us the intelligence not to suffer unnecessarily. Our intellect maynot see fairly and squarely because of ego-me, but if there is impersonalthinking, which is free of "me" and "mine" to a greater degree, then it is Godgiven Intelligence that charts our course of action, becomes our charioteer.Gita tells us this.This may be a message to present generation to bring in spirituality in theirlives rather than running around thinking "what is in it for me?". Beforemarriage couples dream and depend for their happiness on physical attractions toeach other as it is natural. However, this dependency soon brings theunhappiness because novelty wears off sooner than both think.The best we can teach our children is that become interested in God, Scriptures,Religion from the beginning. Once married, remember as often as you can the veryuseful mantra, "I can never find a better spouse than I already have". Andwhenever there is problem, which is bound to happen here and there, say "This isjust a small price to pay for the gift of this relationship". You will succeedfor sure!Namaskar..............Pratap Bhatt-----------------------------Dear Sadak,Husband responsibility is to take care of wife , like Sri Rama. Wife'sresponsibility is to totally surrender to husband under all circumstances,thereby she gets the benefit of Moksha/liberation. Difference of opinions can besorted out by both under guidance of learned person.Jai Sri krishnaB.Sathyanarayan--------------------------This is the case of inner voice and feeling amongst both of them If there is anycouncillor between then he can try to see that both comes together.Actuallyspeaking both ought to remember the words spoken at the time of marriage by thepriest or the priest about some promises taken from both of them If there is noproblem of any children it is better to give divorce and then live peacefullyinstead of quarreling for the rest of the life.This s thepractical approach in human lifeS S Bhatt-------------------------Hare Krishna,I am afraid that this group is moving towards a counseling service for unhappymarried/unmarried people.I will be happy if I am wrong.Any way as far as I understand Gita deals with mental state of a person.Even Swamiji emphasized more on mental state than KARMA.If we do some thing with bad (selfish) intention then it is sin.We live in a society and so we have to follow the norms of the society we livein.Ashok Goenka-------------------------GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES:FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relavant to Gita,relavant to Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relavant tomotivate Sadhaks to take up spiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relavant to the group'sprimary aim of deeper understanding of Gita.FOR RESPONDER1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to theextent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, relevant and respectful of sadhaka'stime.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites.7. Do not include your personal information (Ph #, address etc).8. Do not personalize message9. All responses may not be posted.10. Moderator at his discretion, may modify the posting.11. Take into consideration the novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. i.e. limit the use to Sanskrit words only.Provide English word bracketed.MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: @grou ps.comSubscribe: - Un: -unsubscri be ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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