What are the Duties of a Householder - Head of the Family towards the Family?

March 21, 2009

Dear Geeta Sadhakas, Namaskar,QUESTION: I was curious to know the duties of a household person, as a head of the family, protector and director of the family, towards the family he has raised ?

A family is the smallest unit of a cultured society and its head has all theresponsibilities for the welfare of the family. Whatever money he earns is forthe family. He is not the owner of the family members, so that he can treat thefamily members at his whims and fancies.The wife is also not his property, but in the male dominated society, it is considered so. Panchali was put as a stake in the gambling by Dharmaraj. Panchali should have quetioned him, he has not taken her consent before putting her to stake, so the stake is invalid.Panchali was also the dharmapatni of the rest of the Pandavas. They also shouldhave objected to this stake.The householder cannot give Daan, donation to anybody, because that money alsobelongs to the members of the family. He cannot be an addict to liquor, adultry,or any such vice, so that the family money is not spent for wrong purposes, notfavourable to the family.Thus all the time, he should think of the family and make it a well culturedunit of the society.....He can achieve all this by being spiritual and wholehearted devotee of thatsupreme power.......Gee Waman

------------------------------

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -

FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relavant to Gita,relavant to Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relavant tomotivate Sadhaks to take up spiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relavant to the group'sprimary aim of deeper understanding of Gita.

FOR RESPONDER1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to theextent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, relevant and respectful of sadhaka'stime.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites.7. Do not include your personal information (Ph #, address etc).8. Do not personalize message9. All responses may not be posted.10. Moderator at his discretion, may modify the posting.11. Take into consideration the novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. i.e. limit the use to Sanskrit words only.Provide English word bracketed.

MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

March 22, 2009

Dear Geeta Sadhakas, Namaskar,

QUESTION: I was curious to know the duties of a household person, as a head of the family, protector and director of the family, towards the family he has raised ?

A family is the smallest unit of a cultured society and its head has all theresponsibilities for the welfare of the family. Whatever money he earns is forthe family. He is not the owner of the family members, so that he can treat thefamily members at his whims and fancies.

The wife is also not his property, but in the male dominated society, it is considered so. Panchali was put as a stake in the gambling by Dharmaraj. Panchali should have quetioned him, he has not taken her consent before putting her to stake, so the stake is invalid.

Panchali was also the dharmapatni of the rest of the Pandavas. They also shouldhave objected to this stake.

The householder cannot give Daan, donation to anybody, because that money alsobelongs to the members of the family. He cannot be an addict to liquor, adultry,or any such vice, so that the family money is not spent for wrong purposes, notfavourable to the family.

Thus all the time, he should think of the family and make it a well culturedunit of the society.....

He can achieve all this by being spiritual and wholehearted devotee of thatsupreme power....

....Gee Waman

NEW POSTING

In very simple terms as a head of the family, a householder has a duty to raise his consciousness level and help all his family members to raise their consciousness levels......and do everything from highest or higher consciousness levels.....

Our consciousness level goes up by knowing about ourselves and the wisdom/rules of life...... by experiencing the wisdom....

and it is all for lasting sustainable happiness.......

Sushil Jain

Dear Sadaks,Panchali did claim her rights by asking, "Whether my husband lost himself first or he betted me first". The answer was Dharmaraj lost himself first before betting Panchali. Based on that a boon is offered by Duryodhan's father. She opts for her husbands to be released and thus go away to forest. Dharmaraj lost his 4 brothers first in bet and lost himself next. So the 4 others had no right to talk. THOSE days when Kali yug never started, so the head of the family had all rights to do anything, which the total society accepted and followed.

Why of recent:: Kabir Doss mortgaged his wife for a Kg of wheat powder and ghee to prepare for Atithi (Gnaneswar, Namadev Sants). Because Veda says, ""Atithi Devo Bhava"". But Sri Ram And Sri Lakshman saved her.Dhaan::Still more surprising in those days, there was a man by named Sunder. He was mortgaged as slave to Bagavan Shiva by his grandfather just by his (Grandfather) prayer nothing in writing those days. No one knew about it.This Sunder attained teen age and was to wed a girl. An old sanyasin came and showed a palm leaf in which it was inscribed that Sunder was given as slave to the old sanyasin. The whole village assembled verified the inscription and found to be true. Sunder called the Sanyasin as Medicant (Mad person) in Tamil it is said ""Pitta"". The panchayat ordered Sunder to go along with sanyasi and serve him as slave. The old sanyasi took the sunder and took him to a temple, where the Sanyasi showed Sunder that the old man was Bagavan Shiva. The Sunder there after became God realized and sang the first song starting with (In tamil) ""Pitta Pirai Soodhi---" mean Bagavan YOU are so attached to YOUR devotees with moon on YOUR head---" Hence forth and till today One can see 4 out of 63 devotees (Nayanmars) Sunderamoorthy Nayanar, Thirunavukarasar, Appar, and Manikavasakar in all Bagavan Shiva temples.

In one of the speeches of Swamiji posted by forum clearly says, "If one step devotee takes first, Bagavan take 100 steps simultaneously"Jai Sri KrishnaB.Sathyanarayan

-----------

Dear Sadhaka Gee Waman jee,

I was just wondering whether the subject ( duties of a householder ) has not already been discussed at length before ...................the duties if a pativrata, the head of the family ... and also certain aspects related to Life and Living within the family, eg Infidelity. Then , too, it was raised by you.

The consensus, I believe, was ( as you have rightly said ) that a person , who has understood the Goal of Life (He/she can achieve all this by being spiritual and wholehearted devotee of that supreme power....) will be easily able to be a Good householder , performimg his/ her duties automatically , as they flow out of the basic attitudes of a spiritualist as given in Chapter 13 of Bhagavad Geetha. The householder's life is basically a discipline, to grow and evolve beyond Ego-self.

The family is the smallest unit of Society, and whatever values society needs to practise for its well being, truly, have to begin , within the Family. Yes. So.......................... there is certainly a need to lay down clear roles, duties, responsibilities, of the two main two constituents of the Family, the husband and the wife. Also the progeny. That is what our ancient spiritual forefathers did . BUT , today, the Ego of each member of the family thinks more in terms of Rights than as duties. Duty is only ... what one expects of the other !

Today, it is the family , which is breaking up. Please read my write-up on the subject carried in the 17 Feb e mail discussion. Perhaps God wants a new culture to be evolved, where Family Life is sacred no more !

Forgive me, but is there a need to discuss what has already been discussed almost threadbare ?

Forgive me again, but I feel that no useful purpose can be achieved in the issues raised by you, as related to what happened in the Past, whether it was right , or wrong. What is relevant , perhaps, would be , how to bring about the sacredness in the thinking of people, to walk the Path in accordance with the scriptures. And that is what this Forum is doing .

narinder bhandari

---------------------------

ATTACHED 17 FEB WRITE-UP 1."When the self is known……. All is known ," This is the highestunderstanding to be imbibed by a sadhaka.2.Effort for Self realization, thus, is the highest sadhana .3.If the self is realized ……….. all the questions get answered fromwithin oneself . The duties of a Pativrata, the duties of aHouseholder ( Pati), the duties towards each amongst the variousmembers of the family ………. happen to get understood , and expressedin action, spontaneously , by the knowers of truth…… by the selfrealized .But …………………..4.Self realization is not easy. It does not even occur to mostpeople, as the primary purpose of Life. So, in the family, it willseldom be that even one member would be self realized ……… All wouldbe what they are ……….. egos evolving at their own pace and accordingto their own choices …………. And, in this age of Kaliyuga …………… thereis naught but the ego in manifestation everywhere ……And…………..5.The family is the smallest unit of society. The values that thesociety wishes to be practised within itself , have to begin aspractise within the Family. The values practised within the familywill automatically get practised in the society.6.The family and Society are deeply linked. If the Familypractises Dharma, the society will be a Dharmic society. If thesociety encourages Dharma, and is Dharmic, the family too will havea tendency to live the life of Dharma .7.Keeping the above in view, for harmonious living , wherein thehighest values get lived and practised in action, the Rishis andMunis , the realized ones, laid down the Principles of Dharma( theSanatana Dharma ) as also the duties to be practised by the variousmembers of the family, beginning with the Pativrata Dharma and thePatnivrata Dharma, Vrata means ............... self-imposeddiscipline for the sake of self evolution. Discipline is defined asself-imposed sacrifice of ego for the larger Good of the greaternumber . Discipline is the sacrifice , in which all benefit andachieve their individual goals .8.Now, the Family comprises of the pati, the patni, the progeny.It would not need much intelligence to logically arrive at theconclusion that harmony we seek within our own selves must begin asexpression within the family; and, it can only be so, if all themembers know their duties and responsibilities towards each other,and these duties should occur from within each member so as to beexpressed in action spontaneously, easily and lovingly .But, as we said earlier ……… that is only possible , if every memberis self realized . From this , it becomes easy to arrive at theconclusion that the first duty of each member is self -realisation.9.But, the family comprises of husband , wife and children. And, thechildren would only follow what their parents do. THUS, both husbandand wife must have their first duty as the realisation of theself .Ha !Now comes the rub . Where do things go wrong ? Things go wrong,because the husband focuses only on what duties the wife should beperforming . The wife focuses only on what she should get out of thehusband , what his duties are !...... No-one focuses on Duty askartavaya ( One's own duty lovingly performed so as to please Godand thus move into self realization ) And, thus we find around ustoday, turmoil in every home, discord in every home, with husbandand wife constantly at each others throats, and children rebellingand even abusing their parents .10. The way to self –realisation is given in various Upanishads ,granthas, puranas, smritis, bhagvatam, and so on. Bhagvada Geetha isthe quintiscence of all the Upanishads .11.It would be logical to say …. That a wise sadhaka would try towalk the shortest, obstacle-less path to self-realization.12.And for the true Sadhaka, there are three very valuablescriptures ( amongst scores more ), which show the way to selfrealization. These are the Bhagvada Geetha , the Ashtang Yoga sutrasof Patanjali, and the Vivekachudamani by Shankra. All the three arecomplete and competent in themselves to lead the sadhaka to theultimate fulfillment . At the same time …. they compliment eachother , and are not exclusive of the other. But, it is best for thesadhaka to stick to anyone of them for walking the Pathassiduousally , under the guidance of a self-realised Guru , ifpossible .The importance of a Guru can never be over-emphasised .Ah, friends, if we want to bring joy, happiness and true progresswithin the society, it will have to be by clearly understandingthat practice of the discipline for self realization will have to beby defining the duties of the husband and wife clearly towards eachother , and through the understanding that these duties are self-imposed for the evolution of the self so as to realize God inthis very lifetime.All creativity in Nature is the outcome of two principles, the maleprinciple and the female principle. These principles govern eventhe insentient creation. But, when the evolution brings us tosentience , the intelligence given to human beings by God orExistence was to to reach the pinnacle of achievement ……. Godrealization ……… and society living as Gods . This is Dharma. Theprincipal players in this are a man and woman , and the unit is thefamily. Discipline will have to begin with these two players . Thediscipline will have to be practiced by the wife and the husband forthe sake of their own self . The Bhagvada Geetha is the guide todiscipline , the practice of the thirty attributes given inChapter 13, irrespective of whether one is the wife , or a husband.BUT, we will also have to devise the individual Dharma of thehusband and wife toward each other , This the ancient rishis andmunis did ……. But today, the wife and the husband both flout it ,and fight regarding its veracity. The husband of today does notunderstand that he is responsible to respect the woman and, the wifeof today refuses to set an example to her children in love sacrificeand obedience, even though both carry on reciting the ancientmantras " matri devo bhava, pitri devo bhava, acharya devo bhave,atithi devobhava"Every wife and mother is enchanted by the mantra ` matri-devobhava'………… but is reluctant to be a great mother .Every father would like to be worshipped in accordance with theMantra ` pitri-devo-bhava'……….. but may not wish treat his parentsworshipfully.And what about the mantra , we used to hear a few decades ago …………'pati devo bhava `………. We hear of it no more …………..Nobody is to be blamed ………….. neither man , nor woman ………… it isthe march of time ……….Everyone shouts at the other to practice the same values , which oneoneself refuses to practice.The family, the vey womb of Dharma is breaking up if not alreadybroken. But there is still the great Hope for revival. Out of theawareness of the evil of Adharma all around ,Dharma now is becomingan individual quest. Perhaps, one day again, soon, out of thisindividual self-realisation, the family will , once again, cometogether ; but, it will then again be a Dharmic wife and a Dharmichusband, and their progeny worshipping their parents …….. so thatall may fulfill the purpose of Life , God- Realisation.A Golden age of Dharma may yet come again…………. may be not in ourlifetime, maybe not even in this yuga( for, when this happens, wewould not be able to call it kaliyuga , it will becomeSatyuga ,,,,,,,,,,, ) ………….. God only knows .All is His Will. Themovement of Time and Space, is itself God's Will.Ah, dear sadhakas, who so do choose…………… let us continue with oursadhna .Ah, where were we …? Bhagvada Geetha ……….. chapter ….. shaloka ….. ?AUM narinder bhandari

------------------------------

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -

FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relavant to Gita,relavant to Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relavant tomotivate Sadhaks to take up spiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relavant to the group'sprimary aim of deeper understanding of Gita.

FOR RESPONDER1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to theextent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, relevant and respectful of sadhaka'stime.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites.7. Do not include your personal information (Ph #, address etc).8. Do not personalize message9. All responses may not be posted.10. Moderator at his discretion, may modify the posting.11. Take into consideration the novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. i.e. limit the use to Sanskrit words only.Provide English word bracketed.

MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

March 23, 2009

responsibilities for the welfare of the family. Whatever money he earns is forthe family. He is not the owner of the family members, so that he can treat thefamily members at his whims and fancies.

The wife is also not his property, but in the male dominated society, it is considered so. Panchali was put as a stake in the gambling by Dharmaraj. Panchali should have quetioned him, he has not taken her consent before putting her to stake, so the stake is invalid.

Panchali was also the dharmapatni of the rest of the Pandavas. They also shouldhave objected to this stake.

The householder cannot give Daan, donation to anybody, because that money alsobelongs to the members of the family. He cannot be an addict to liquor, adultry,or any such vice, so that the family money is not spent for wrong purposes, notfavourable to the family.

Thus all the time, he should think of the family and make it a well culturedunit of the society.....

He can achieve all this by being spiritual and wholehearted devotee of thatsupreme power....

....Gee Waman

NEW POSTING

Dear sadaks,Who is the head of family? One who selected a lady in marriage, brought forth children, is the head of the family. First the head should have knowledge of Sastras/rules said by that religion in a proper way. He should teach basic principles of living as humans, like respecting parents, Guru, praying God, time to eat and sleep, Do s and Dont s and to remain God fearing (Respecting Dharma) His wife and children are his property even in these days according to Vedas. But the wife and adult children has freedom to do what they want and suffer the consciquences.It is said in Maha Bharat that it is one of the 5 great sins is gambling. It is admitted that Dharmaraj/Yudhister was wrong and commited sin.Jai sri KrishnaB.Sathyanarayan

Questions: How to maintain love, happiness and peace in the family?

Swamiji: When a man forgets his main purpose and aim in life, then all obstacles and calamities take place in the family. If his goal is firm and alive that under all conditions he will be elevated spiritually and otherwise. Then he does not concern himself with happiness or adversity. Also he finds no difficulty in renouncing his selfishness and pride. When one renounces selfishness and pride, then there is no obstacles or disharmony in the relationship. The main impediments in any relationship is when a person wants things to happen his way. He wants his words to hold weight, his desires to be fulfilled or all are for his own self interest.

How beautifully true are Swamijee's words ......................

But , dear sadhaks, narinder has observed yet another phenomenon, in today's age.............. the person, who follows the teachings above, is seen to fill the other members with a sense of guilt ........... when their egos find it not easy to follow the teachings in action themselves ........... and furthermore , to blame the spiritual unselfish member for 'making them feel guilty' .............

BUT................... dear sadhaks, someting even more beautiful begins to blossom in the spiritualist member ........... the last of the six attributes needed in the aspirant for moving into Moksha, Titiksha . ( Bearing all afflictions without retaliation and without mental disturbance is what is known as Titiksha). His/ her consciousness keeps moving into higher , and yet higher levels ............. and, what Bliss it is !

His/ her divine qualities do, however, become instrumental in transforming the other members in due course albeit very very slowly.That depends on each individual's own Yatra, and choice . God's Immutable Law holds supreme for all...... the saint and the sinner.

AUM

narinder bhandari

----------

============================================

PRIOR POSTING

In very simple terms as a head of the family, a householder has a duty to raise his consciousness level and help all his family members to raise their consciousness levels......and do everything from highest or higher consciousness levels.....

Our consciousness level goes up by knowing about ourselves and the wisdom/rules of life...... by experiencing the wisdom....

and it is all for lasting sustainable happiness.......

Sushil Jain

Dear Sadaks,Panchali did claim her rights by asking, "Whether my husband lost himself first or he betted me first". The answer was Dharmaraj lost himself first before betting Panchali. Based on that a boon is offered by Duryodhan's father. She opts for her husbands to be released and thus go away to forest. Dharmaraj lost his 4 brothers first in bet and lost himself next. So the 4 others had no right to talk. THOSE days when Kali yug never started, so the head of the family had all rights to do anything, which the total society accepted and followed.

Why of recent:: Kabir Doss mortgaged his wife for a Kg of wheat powder and ghee to prepare for Atithi (Gnaneswar, Namadev Sants). Because Veda says, ""Atithi Devo Bhava"". But Sri Ram And Sri Lakshman saved her.Dhaan::Still more surprising in those days, there was a man by named Sunder. He was mortgaged as slave to Bagavan Shiva by his grandfather just by his (Grandfather) prayer nothing in writing those days. No one knew about it.This Sunder attained teen age and was to wed a girl. An old sanyasin came and showed a palm leaf in which it was inscribed that Sunder was given as slave to the old sanyasin. The whole village assembled verified the inscription and found to be true. Sunder called the Sanyasin as Medicant (Mad person) in Tamil it is said ""Pitta"". The panchayat ordered Sunder to go along with sanyasi and serve him as slave. The old sanyasi took the sunder and took him to a temple, where the Sanyasi showed Sunder that the old man was Bagavan Shiva. The Sunder there after became God realized and sang the first song starting with (In tamil) ""Pitta Pirai Soodhi---" mean Bagavan YOU are so attached to YOUR devotees with moon on YOUR head---" Hence forth and till today One can see 4 out of 63 devotees (Nayanmars) Sunderamoorthy Nayanar, Thirunavukarasar, Appar, and Manikavasakar in all Bagavan Shiva temples.

In one of the speeches of Swamiji posted by forum clearly says, "If one step devotee takes first, Bagavan take 100 steps simultaneously"Jai Sri KrishnaB.Sathyanarayan

-----------

Dear Sadhaka Gee Waman jee, I was just wondering whether the subject ( duties of a householder ) has not already been discussed at length before ...................the duties if a pativrata, the head of the family ... and also certain aspects related to Life and Living within the family, eg Infidelity. Then , too, it was raised by you. The consensus, I believe, was ( as you have rightly said ) that a person , who has understood the Goal of Life (He/she can achieve all this by being spiritual and wholehearted devotee of that supreme power....) will be easily able to be a Good householder , performimg his/ her duties automatically , as they flow out of the basic attitudes of a spiritualist as given in Chapter 13 of Bhagavad Geetha. The householder's life is basically a discipline, to grow and evolve beyond Ego-self. The family is the smallest unit of Society, and whatever values society needs to practise for its well being, truly, have to begin , within the Family. Yes. So.......................... there is certainly a need to lay down clear roles, duties, responsibilities, of the two main two constituents of the Family, the husband and the wife. Also the progeny. That is what our ancient spiritual forefathers did . BUT , today, the Ego of each member of the family thinks more in terms of Rights than as duties. Duty is only ... what one expects of the other ! Today, it is the family , which is breaking up. Please read my write-up on the subject carried in the 17 Feb e mail discussion. Perhaps God wants a new culture to be evolved, where Family Life is sacred no more ! Forgive me, but is there a need to discuss what has already been discussed almost threadbare ? Forgive me again, but I feel that no useful purpose can be achieved in the issues raised by you, as related to what happened in the Past, whether it was right , or wrong. What is relevant , perhaps, would be , how to bring about the sacredness in the thinking of people, to walk the Path in accordance with the scriptures. And that is what this Forum is doing . narinder bhandari---------------------------ATTACHED 17 FEB WRITE-UP

1."When the self is known……. All is known ," This is the highestunderstanding to be imbibed by a sadhaka.

2.Effort for Self realization, thus, is the highest sadhana .

3.If the self is realized ……….. all the questions get answered fromwithin oneself . The duties of a Pativrata, the duties of aHouseholder ( Pati), the duties towards each amongst the variousmembers of the family ………. happen to get understood , and expressedin action, spontaneously , by the knowers of truth…… by the selfrealized .

But …………………..

4.Self realization is not easy. It does not even occur to mostpeople, as the primary purpose of Life. So, in the family, it willseldom be that even one member would be self realized ……… All wouldbe what they are ……….. egos evolving at their own pace and accordingto their own choices …………. And, in this age of Kaliyuga …………… thereis naught but the ego in manifestation everywhere ……

And…………..

5.The family is the smallest unit of society. The values that thesociety wishes to be practised within itself , have to begin aspractise within the Family. The values practised within the familywill automatically get practised in the society.

6.The family and Society are deeply linked. If the Familypractises Dharma, the society will be a Dharmic society. If thesociety encourages Dharma, and is Dharmic, the family too will havea tendency to live the life of Dharma .

7.Keeping the above in view, for harmonious living , wherein thehighest values get lived and practised in action, the Rishis andMunis , the realized ones, laid down the Principles of Dharma( theSanatana Dharma ) as also the duties to be practised by the variousmembers of the family, beginning with the Pativrata Dharma and thePatnivrata Dharma, Vrata means ............... self-imposeddiscipline for the sake of self evolution. Discipline is defined asself-imposed sacrifice of ego for the larger Good of the greaternumber . Discipline is the sacrifice , in which all benefit andachieve their individual goals .

8.Now, the Family comprises of the pati, the patni, the progeny.

It would not need much intelligence to logically arrive at theconclusion that harmony we seek within our own selves must begin asexpression within the family; and, it can only be so, if all themembers know their duties and responsibilities towards each other,and these duties should occur from within each member so as to beexpressed in action spontaneously, easily and lovingly .

But, as we said earlier ……… that is only possible , if every memberis self realized . From this , it becomes easy to arrive at theconclusion that the first duty of each member is self -realisation.

9.But, the family comprises of husband , wife and children. And, thechildren would only follow what their parents do. THUS, both husbandand wife must have their first duty as the realisation of theself .

Ha !

Now comes the rub . Where do things go wrong ? Things go wrong,because the husband focuses only on what duties the wife should beperforming . The wife focuses only on what she should get out of thehusband , what his duties are !...... No-one focuses on Duty askartavaya ( One's own duty lovingly performed so as to please Godand thus move into self realization ) And, thus we find around ustoday, turmoil in every home, discord in every home, with husbandand wife constantly at each others throats, and children rebellingand even abusing their parents .

10. The way to self –realisation is given in various Upanishads ,granthas, puranas, smritis, bhagvatam, and so on. Bhagvada Geetha isthe quintiscence of all the Upanishads .

11.It would be logical to say …. That a wise sadhaka would try towalk the shortest, obstacle-less path to self-realization.

12.And for the true Sadhaka, there are three very valuablescriptures ( amongst scores more ), which show the way to selfrealization. These are the Bhagvada Geetha , the Ashtang Yoga sutrasof Patanjali, and the Vivekachudamani by Shankra. All the three arecomplete and competent in themselves to lead the sadhaka to theultimate fulfillment . At the same time …. they compliment eachother , and are not exclusive of the other. But, it is best for thesadhaka to stick to anyone of them for walking the Pathassiduousally , under the guidance of a self-realised Guru , ifpossible .The importance of a Guru can never be over-emphasised .

Ah, friends, if we want to bring joy, happiness and true progresswithin the society, it will have to be by clearly understandingthat practice of the discipline for self realization will have to beby defining the duties of the husband and wife clearly towards eachother , and through the understanding that these duties are self-imposed for the evolution of the self so as to realize God inthis very lifetime.

All creativity in Nature is the outcome of two principles, the maleprinciple and the female principle. These principles govern eventhe insentient creation. But, when the evolution brings us tosentience , the intelligence given to human beings by God orExistence was to to reach the pinnacle of achievement ……. Godrealization ……… and society living as Gods . This is Dharma. Theprincipal players in this are a man and woman , and the unit is thefamily. Discipline will have to begin with these two players . Thediscipline will have to be practiced by the wife and the husband forthe sake of their own self . The Bhagvada Geetha is the guide todiscipline , the practice of the thirty attributes given inChapter 13, irrespective of whether one is the wife , or a husband.BUT, we will also have to devise the individual Dharma of thehusband and wife toward each other , This the ancient rishis andmunis did ……. But today, the wife and the husband both flout it ,and fight regarding its veracity. The husband of today does notunderstand that he is responsible to respect the woman and, the wifeof today refuses to set an example to her children in love sacrificeand obedience, even though both carry on reciting the ancientmantras " matri devo bhava, pitri devo bhava, acharya devo bhave,atithi devobhava"

Every wife and mother is enchanted by the mantra ` matri-devobhava'………… but is reluctant to be a great mother .

Every father would like to be worshipped in accordance with theMantra ` pitri-devo-bhava'……….. but may not wish treat his parentsworshipfully.

And what about the mantra , we used to hear a few decades ago …………'pati devo bhava `………. We hear of it no more …………..

Nobody is to be blamed ………….. neither man , nor woman ………… it isthe march of time ……….

Everyone shouts at the other to practice the same values , which oneoneself refuses to practice.

The family, the vey womb of Dharma is breaking up if not alreadybroken. But there is still the great Hope for revival. Out of theawareness of the evil of Adharma all around ,Dharma now is becomingan individual quest. Perhaps, one day again, soon, out of thisindividual self-realisation, the family will , once again, cometogether ; but, it will then again be a Dharmic wife and a Dharmichusband, and their progeny worshipping their parents …….. so thatall may fulfill the purpose of Life , God- Realisation.

A Golden age of Dharma may yet come again…………. may be not in ourlifetime, maybe not even in this yuga( for, when this happens, wewould not be able to call it kaliyuga , it will becomeSatyuga ,,,,,,,,,,, ) ………….. God only knows .All is His Will. Themovement of Time and Space, is itself God's Will.

Ah, dear sadhakas, who so do choose…………… let us continue with oursadhna .

Ah, where were we …? Bhagvada Geetha ……….. chapter ….. shaloka ….. ?

AUM narinder bhandari

------------------------------

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -

FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relavant to Gita,relavant to Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relavant tomotivate Sadhaks to take up spiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relavant to the group'sprimary aim of deeper understanding of Gita.

FOR RESPONDER1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to theextent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, relevant and respectful of sadhaka'stime.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites.7. Do not include your personal information (Ph #, address etc).8. Do not personalize message9. All responses may not be posted.10. Moderator at his discretion, may modify the posting.11. Take into consideration the novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. i.e. limit the use to Sanskrit words only.Provide English word bracketed.

MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------