How to Deal with Grandchildren's Attachment ?

July 10, 2009

SHRI RAM RAMJI

QUESTION: With attachments (e.g. grandchildren) one feels responsibility, and

with responsibility comes a kind of self empowerment that grand parents feel to

pass on. Failures of this will create sorrow. How to deal with grandchildren's

attachment?

Dinesh Patel

-------------

DETAILED QUESTION:

Wonderful discourse ! one topic which keeps coming and will come more is -

Attachment to grand children

As we age the family expands with children's and grand children's

the attachments shifts from parents, grand parents to children's to grand

children's

the grand children's attachments is going to be more as the longevity of

individuals increase.

With attachments one feels some responsibility and with responsibility comes

some kind of self empowerments that the grand parents feels to pass on.

Failures of this - will create sorrow

The readers may be interested in group's as well as, Swamiji's thoughts about

this and how to deal with grand children's--- attachments or detachments or

restricted attachments !

thanks

i am enjoying the words of wisdom coming from you.

thanks

Dinesh Patel

--------------------

On Equanimity (Jul 10, 2009)

: Shree Hari:

Ram Ram

On Equanimity

Nowadays there is very good discussions going on related to Equanimity. One

must behave with equanimity with all - such publicity is going around. But in

reality, what exactly is called " Equanimity " and how does one become equanimous

- it is essential to understand this.

Equanimity is not an ordinary thing, rather it is evidential form (sakshaat

swaroop) of Paramatma (God) . He whose mind becomes established in equanimity,

attains victory over the world, while living in it, and thus experiences the

Supreme Reality (ParaBrahma Paramatma). This equanimity comes when other's

sorrows becomes our sorrow, and when other's happiness becomes our happiness.

In Gita, Bhagwaan says -

" Aatmoupamyena sarvatra samam pachyati yorjuna |

sukham vaa yadi va dukham sa yogi paramo matah || (Gita 6/32)

" O' Arjuna ! That man who like his body, sees the same everywhere, and sees

happiness and unhappiness the same everywhere, that Yogi is understood to be

best of all. "

Just like when there is pain in any part of the body then there is longing and

effort to try to get rid of that pain, similarly when any being undergoes

sorrow, grief, suffering etc. then with equal intentness, when one tries to put

effort towards removing the suffering, then one attains equanimity. It has also

been observed in the behavior of saints -

" Per dukh dukh sukh sukh dekhe per. " (Manas 7/38/1)

As long as there is longing for one's own happiness, till then however much

effort you put, equanimity will not arise. But once when from one's very heart

there is the intense drive and longing that how can others become happy? How

can they get rest and relaxation? How can they benefit? How can they attain

salvation? Then equanimity will come naturally, on it's own.

This must first begin at home. There must be the inner sentiment that let not a

single being ever suffer or experience any difficulties in the least bit. Let

no one ever lose their faith. However much of difficulty I undergo, let my

mother-father, wife-children, brother and brother-in-law etc. remain happy. By

making our family members happy, with certainty we will attain peace. Where the

relationship is outside our immediate family, there if you make someone happy,

then extraordinary joy will start flowing.

However, by giving happiness out of attachment, one will not progress.

Therefore, wherever there is no attachment there give happiness, or get rid of

your attachment while giving happiness to those you are attached to - both these

will result in one and the same.

Goswami Tulasdasji says about the way Lakshmanji serves Bhagwaan Ram and Sitaji

in Chitrakoot.

" Sevahin lakhanu siye raghubeerahi |

Jimi abibeki purush sareerahi || (Manas 2/142/1)

Lakshmanji serves Bhagwaan Ram and Sitaji in the same way as an ignorant person

serves (cares for) his body. To serve the body, to give it happiness is not

wisdom. Even the animals serve their bodies. Just like a female monkey is so

attached to her child that even if the baby monkey dies, she carries the dead

child around everywhere. She does not leave it. But if she gets food then she

eats herself first and beyond that she does not allow the baby monkey to eat.

If the baby monkey tries to eat, she threatens and beats him, till he screams

and runs away. Therefore when there is attachment, it is impossible to be

equanimous.

From " Saadhan, Sudhaa, Sindhu " in hindi pg 877 by Swami Ramsukhdasji

Ram Ram

For ENGLISH WEBSITE please visit: http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.net

For full online discourses in Hindi: http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org

----------------

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -

FOR QUESTIONER

1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant to

Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take up

spiritual path

2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study

3. Only one question at a time.

4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aim

of deeper understanding of Gita.

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -

1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.

2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible..

3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that they

further help in understanding the Gita shlokas

4. Be concise, to the point, refraining from criticism or personal attacks. Be

respectful of all sadhaks and avoid judging others.

5. Focus on subject at hand only.

6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, address

etc) or personalize message to particular person

7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may modify

the posting.

8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limit

the use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.

MODERATOR

Ram Ram

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Post message:

Subscribe: -

Un: -

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July 10, 2009

SHRI RAM RAMJI

QUESTION: With attachments (e.g. grandchildren) one feels responsibility, andwith responsibility comes a kind of self empowerment that grand parents feel topass on. Failures of this will create sorrow. How to deal with grandchildren'sattachment?Dinesh Patel

--------------

NEW POSTING

SHREE HARI:

RAM RAM.

PLEASE READ THE CHAPTER 5. PANCHAMRUT OF THE BOOK 'JEEVANOPAYOGEE PRAVACHAN' PAGES 53 TO 61 AND CONTEMPLATE OVER WHAT SWAMIJI ASKED US TO DO. GRAND CHILDREN NEVER ASK THE GRAND PARENTS TO HAVE ATTACHMENT TO THEM. BECAUSE OF THIS ATTACHMENT, THE GRAND PARENTS HAVE AND SUFFER. WHAT WISDOM IS THERE IN DOING SO? 'PANCHAMRUT' IS 'COMPLETE CODE OF CONDUCT IN FAMILY'.

VINEET,

SARVOTTAM

--------------

Shree Hari Ram Ram

Please see link to Summary of "Panchamrut"

sadhaka/message/2162

Ram Ram

---------------

Dear Sadaks,One`s responsibility ceases once his children are settled off. Very clearly sastras, Upanashids have mentioned this.That being the case of DETACHMENT towards children, where comes the question of attachment towards grandchildren. Many saints left for Vanavas or Vanaprasta. Desire and attachments has NO boundaries or end, but unfortunately life ends, and one carries all his desires or attachment to his next birth. In upanashid I think it is about Swtakethu- He died with similar desires. He was born as Dog and was tied to pillar by his grandchildren, then after Dog, he was born as horse and carried his family members.Say after one dead- Let us presume, God asks, "I (God) have given so much life time. Your engagement towards Sat Sangh or ME was little or nothing when compared to my Bakthas. Please go and enjoy your unfulfilled desire". What will be the answer? Read carefully in detail Kapila Geetha delivered to HIS (God) mother Devahoothi.Logically I think animals are very much far better in this. Once it`s children grows, it lets them free and live a life on it`s own. That is why it raises from lower birth to Human. Sastras says, Bagawan said, "Maanushadeham Dullabam". Means-- rare to get human birth. Value not known to many. One saint from Kerala by name, Poothanam has clearly got essence from Geetha and sang a song known as Gyanapana. Means- Gyanam is taken as divine drink (Paanam-Sanskrit). It states how one gets human birthm after under going so many perils in many births. So precious life let it be to Bagavan who will take care of children or grandchildren. Besides we loose " I " the ego strong barrier between Bagavan and Man.Jai Sri KrishnaBaiya Sathyanarayan

Dear Sadhakas, Namaste!Based on my own experience with grand children, I have learned the meaning of Love and Attachment which helped me to resolve the issue.Grand parents generally view attachment to grand children as loving and caring for them as I did before. To be attached is to love them, otherwise it is not caring for them. That is how most grand parents are conditioned and they feel a bit of guilt if they are not attached this way. So, grand parents may want to question: "are we loving unconditionally, are we not looking for our own pleasures, are we not trying to fulfill ourselves through them, to be proud of them? etc etc. Then be honest in answering them.We are not attached to others, really. I have discovered that in attachment we are generally attached to our "own ideas/image" about what is in it for us, and little about others. I wish we were truly attached to "others"! It may not be for the sake of unconditional love of others. Although, it may be present to a lesser degree in relationship with grand-children due to little expectations of anything in return, because we may not be around to receive anything in return!Thus, to me, attachment means unconditional love only, from you to them, just one way. Keep our hearts and doors open for them to enter when they want to and be ready to run when they need help. I try to remember that it is the Self(Atman) in them that the same Self in us loves. "We" are just the incidental(nimitta-matra).Namaskar..........Pratap Bhatt

-------------DETAILED QUESTION:

Wonderful discourse ! one topic which keeps coming and will come more is -Attachment to grand childrenAs we age the family expands with children's and grand children'sthe attachments shifts from parents, grand parents to children's to grandchildren's

the grand children's attachments is going to be more as the longevity ofindividuals increase.With attachments one feels some responsibility and with responsibility comessome kind of self empowerments that the grand parents feels to pass on.Failures of this - will create sorrowThe readers may be interested in group's as well as, Swamiji's thoughts aboutthis and how to deal with grand children's--- attachments or detachments orrestricted attachments !thanksi am enjoying the words of wisdom coming from you.thanksDinesh Patel

--------------------

On Equanimity (Jul 10, 2009)

: Shree Hari:Ram Ram

On Equanimity

Nowadays there is very good discussions going on related to Equanimity. Onemust behave with equanimity with all - such publicity is going around. But inreality, what exactly is called "Equanimity" and how does one become equanimous- it is essential to understand this.

Equanimity is not an ordinary thing, rather it is evidential form (sakshaatswaroop) of Paramatma (God) . He whose mind becomes established in equanimity,attains victory over the world, while living in it, and thus experiences theSupreme Reality (ParaBrahma Paramatma). This equanimity comes when other'ssorrows becomes our sorrow, and when other's happiness becomes our happiness. In Gita, Bhagwaan says -

"Aatmoupamyena sarvatra samam pachyati yorjuna |sukham vaa yadi va dukham sa yogi paramo matah || (Gita 6/32)

"O' Arjuna ! That man who like his body, sees the same everywhere, and seeshappiness and unhappiness the same everywhere, that Yogi is understood to bebest of all."

Just like when there is pain in any part of the body then there is longing andeffort to try to get rid of that pain, similarly when any being undergoessorrow, grief, suffering etc. then with equal intentness, when one tries to puteffort towards removing the suffering, then one attains equanimity. It has alsobeen observed in the behavior of saints -

"Per dukh dukh sukh sukh dekhe per." (Manas 7/38/1)

As long as there is longing for one's own happiness, till then however mucheffort you put, equanimity will not arise. But once when from one's very heartthere is the intense drive and longing that how can others become happy? Howcan they get rest and relaxation? How can they benefit? How can they attainsalvation? Then equanimity will come naturally, on it's own.

This must first begin at home. There must be the inner sentiment that let not asingle being ever suffer or experience any difficulties in the least bit. Letno one ever lose their faith. However much of difficulty I undergo, let mymother-father, wife-children, brother and brother-in-law etc. remain happy. Bymaking our family members happy, with certainty we will attain peace. Where therelationship is outside our immediate family, there if you make someone happy,then extraordinary joy will start flowing.

However, by giving happiness out of attachment, one will not progress. Therefore, wherever there is no attachment there give happiness, or get rid ofyour attachment while giving happiness to those you are attached to - both thesewill result in one and the same.

Goswami Tulasdasji says about the way Lakshmanji serves Bhagwaan Ram and Sitajiin Chitrakoot.

"Sevahin lakhanu siye raghubeerahi |Jimi abibeki purush sareerahi || (Manas 2/142/1)

Lakshmanji serves Bhagwaan Ram and Sitaji in the same way as an ignorant personserves (cares for) his body. To serve the body, to give it happiness is notwisdom. Even the animals serve their bodies. Just like a female monkey is soattached to her child that even if the baby monkey dies, she carries the deadchild around everywhere. She does not leave it. But if she gets food then sheeats herself first and beyond that she does not allow the baby monkey to eat. If the baby monkey tries to eat, she threatens and beats him, till he screamsand runs away. Therefore when there is attachment, it is impossible to beequanimous.

From "Saadhan, Sudhaa, Sindhu" in hindi pg 877 by Swami Ramsukhdasji

Ram Ram

For ENGLISH WEBSITE please visit: http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.netFor full online discourses in Hindi: http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org

----------------GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -

FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible..3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that theyfurther help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be concise, to the point, refraining from criticism or personal attacks. Berespectful of all sadhaks and avoid judging others.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may modifythe posting.8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.

MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

-------------------------------

July 12, 2009

SHRI RAM RAMJI

QUESTION: With attachments (e.g. grandchildren) one feels responsibility, andwith responsibility comes a kind of self empowerment that grand parents feel topass on. Failures of this will create sorrow. How to deal with grandchildren'sattachment?Dinesh Patel

--------------

NEW POSTING

Dear Sadaks,

Last para about Geetha.

I are only Bhagwaan's (Mein Bhagwaan ka hi hoon);It can be: We are all Bagavan` s. (Vasudeva Sarvam)2) I reside in Bhagwaan's (God's) kingdom (Mein Bhagwaan ke dabaar mein rehtaa hoon); It can be: We all manifest and abide in HIS kingdom.3) I am doing only His work - i.e. whatever good, auspicious work I do, is only His work (Jo bhi shubh kaam kartaa hoon, mein Unhi kaa kaam kartaa hoon);It can be: We all do HIS work bestowed on us as per HIS vedic guidelines. Auspicious work - not Terrorist/bad politician/gambler Etc4) Whatever I receive is His blessing, His boon. (Bhagwaan kaa prasaad paataah hoon); It can be: Whatever (Happiness/sorrow, wealth or poverty, health or sickness) we receive is with HIS blessings only to root out our Karmas and make us pure 5) With His blessings, I serve His family (Bhagwaan ke prasaad se, Unke bhakt-janoh ki seva kartaa hoon). With HIS blessing I am at service of humanity (Humanity-all living-the world around not spoiling ecology). If I serve to HIS satisfaction not expecting any results.

Sadaks one thing here to note: Arjuna asked Sri Krishna how he can kill his family members in War. Geetha came. Arjuna clarity took place as who is his family, who is his Guru, Who is his relation Etc

Here if our children or grandchildren do mistakes, we should be prepared to punish them, if they don't listen and obey one has to leave them and get to Vanaprastha, so that elders don't waste time in trying to go on asking to do good. That is the service we call HIS blessings. Otherwise doing service to family who misbehave is not service of God but service to enrich Adharm.

Sri Rama after winning Ravan asked mother Seetha to walk her own way in any direction if she prefers.

Further Sri Rama asks mother to immerse herself in fire lighted by Lakshman. Is it for all this Sri Rama cried and wept all HIS way to Lanka to save mother? It was HIS service to Dharma as husband. Then for the ill words she spoke on Lakshman, Sri Rama never spared her (per my understanding).

After the Kurushetra war- Sri Krishna was passing by Rishi Udayankar. Rishi asked number of questions to Bhagavan. Bhagavan patiently answered all questions one by one, until Bhagavan understood that HE is cornered by Rishi questions. Sadaks read that part.That is real Panchamurt.

Jai Sri Krishna

Baiya Sathyanarayan

Shree Hari Ram Ram

Sadhaks ! Please be alert ! This attachment could become a source of subtle DEPENDENCY (whether it be in the form of living your dream, or feeling of worthwhileness in raising grandchildren, or that feeling a sense of responsibilityor empowerment of some sort etc. !!!

Swamiji has made it very clear that DEPENDENCE MUST BE ONLY ON GOD.

Without dependence on God, all other support and dependencies are incomplete. This is because, besides God, there is no one that is complete, above all and paramount. Money, children,GRANDCHILDREN, position, abilities, strength of the society, strength of arms and weapons etc., all are worthless and insignificant, and most of all they are all incomplete and imperfect in and of themselves. If we take refuge in that One Supreme Consciousness (Paramatma), then there will be no need to depend on anyone else. The One who takes refuge at the Lotus Feet of God, he simply does not need the support of anyone else.

Meera Das, Ram Ram

-

Friends

Let us examine two assumptions:-

a) with attachment one feels responsibility

b)responsibility generates self empowerment

To me both of the above assumptions are not correct if it leads to sorrow in life.

One cannot deal with or overcome attachment with the above beliefs/understanding or assumptions.

We have only one responsibility i.e. to take care of self and must not create sorrow in own life.What happens to

son/daughter or grandchildren will be dependent upon their karma in past lives and in this life.While we must

work for their support/wellbeing ,trying to mould their destiny is neither possible nor feasible.

We must know the limitations of our efforts & actions to impact life of children/grandchildren ,spouse ,brothers/sisters etc and must not cross the boundary beyond which lies grief/sorrow.

Once free from responsibility ,one can contribute more to others life.

regards & best wishes

Ashok Jain

---------------

In today's environment, families have become nuclear and both parents ofa child are working, it is not possible to be away from grand children. As grandparents, we are very often required to do baby sitting and so the attachment grows.But, one should realise that such attachments are ephemeral and should notbecome a permanent feature, in which case we will be drawn into " Samsara Sagara"without any chance of opportunities to study Vedantha and attain Realisation. One should restrict to loving the grand children to the extent required andconsciously avoid getting attachment. This is possible with Satsangh, readingspiritual books and association with holy people / saints.

Geevee

----

This is a very special case to deal with it.According to my experience grand children are more attached than our own children.I may send a copy of my chapter on this subject if permitted by the moderator.Now a day it is difficult to deal with the grand children.I have twelve grand children and have various experiences in raising them

Truly yours

S S Bhatt

Shree Hari Ram Ram

Bhattji, Kindly summarize what is relavant to this topic and include in small chunks. in each posting (if possible). We look forward to your insights. From Gita Talk Moderators, Ram Ram

------------------

SHREE HARI:RAM RAM.PLEASE READ THE CHAPTER 5. PANCHAMRUT OF THE BOOK 'JEEVANOPAYOGEE PRAVACHAN' PAGES 53 TO 61 AND CONTEMPLATE OVER WHAT SWAMIJI ASKED US TO DO. GRAND CHILDREN NEVER ASK THE GRAND PARENTS TO HAVE ATTACHMENT TO THEM. BECAUSE OF THIS ATTACHMENT, THE GRAND PARENTS HAVE AND SUFFER. WHAT WISDOM IS THERE IN DOING SO? 'PANCHAMRUT' IS 'COMPLETE CODE OF CONDUCT IN FAMILY'.VINEET,SARVOTTAM--------------Shree Hari Ram Ram Please see link to Summary of "Panchamrut"sadhaka/message/2162 Ram Ram ---------------

Dear Sadaks,One`s responsibility ceases once his children are settled off. Very clearly sastras, Upanashids have mentioned this.That being the case of DETACHMENT towards children, where comes the question of attachment towards grandchildren. Many saints left for Vanavas or Vanaprasta. Desire and attachments has NO boundaries or end, but unfortunately life ends, and one carries all his desires or attachment to his next birth. In upanashid I think it is about Swtakethu- He died with similar desires. He was born as Dog and was tied to pillar by his grandchildren, then after Dog, he was born as horse and carried his family members.Say after one dead- Let us presume, God asks, "I (God) have given so much life time. Your engagement towards Sat Sangh or ME was little or nothing when compared to my Bakthas. Please go and enjoy your unfulfilled desire". What will be the answer? Read carefully in detail Kapila Geetha delivered to HIS (God) mother Devahoothi.Logically I think animals are very much far better in this. Once it`s children grows, it lets them free and live a life on it`s own. That is why it raises from lower birth to Human. Sastras says, Bagawan said, "Maanushadeham Dullabam". Means-- rare to get human birth. Value not known to many. One saint from Kerala by name, Poothanam has clearly got essence from Geetha and sang a song known as Gyanapana. Means- Gyanam is taken as divine drink (Paanam-Sanskrit). It states how one gets human birthm after under going so many perils in many births. So precious life let it be to Bagavan who will take care of children or grandchildren. Besides we loose " I " the ego strong barrier between Bagavan and Man.Jai Sri KrishnaBaiya Sathyanarayan

Dear Sadhakas, Namaste!Based on my own experience with grand children, I have learned the meaning of Love and Attachment which helped me to resolve the issue.Grand parents generally view attachment to grand children as loving and caring for them as I did before. To be attached is to love them, otherwise it is not caring for them. That is how most grand parents are conditioned and they feel a bit of guilt if they are not attached this way. So, grand parents may want to question: "are we loving unconditionally, are we not looking for our own pleasures, are we not trying to fulfill ourselves through them, to be proud of them? etc etc. Then be honest in answering them.

We are not attached to others, really. I have discovered that in attachment we are generally attached to our "own ideas/image" about what is in it for us, and little about others. I wish we were truly attached to "others"! It may not be for the sake of unconditional love of others. Although, it may be present to a lesser degree in relationship with grand-children due to little expectations of anything in return, because we may not be around to receive anything in return!Thus, to me, attachment means unconditional love only, from you to them, just one way. Keep our hearts and doors open for them to enter when they want to and be ready to run when they need help. I try to remember that it is the Self(Atman) in them that the same Self in us loves. "We" are just the incidental(nimitta-matra).Namaskar..........Pratap Bhatt

-------------DETAILED QUESTION:

Wonderful discourse ! one topic which keeps coming and will come more is -Attachment to grand childrenAs we age the family expands with children's and grand children'sthe attachments shifts from parents, grand parents to children's to grandchildren's

the grand children's attachments is going to be more as the longevity ofindividuals increase.With attachments one feels some responsibility and with responsibility comessome kind of self empowerments that the grand parents feels to pass on.Failures of this - will create sorrowThe readers may be interested in group's as well as, Swamiji's thoughts aboutthis and how to deal with grand children's--- attachments or detachments orrestricted attachments !thanksi am enjoying the words of wisdom coming from you.thanksDinesh Patel

--------------------

On Equanimity (Jul 10, 2009)

: Shree Hari:Ram Ram

On Equanimity

Nowadays there is very good discussions going on related to Equanimity. Onemust behave with equanimity with all - such publicity is going around. But inreality, what exactly is called "Equanimity" and how does one become equanimous- it is essential to understand this.

Equanimity is not an ordinary thing, rather it is evidential form (sakshaatswaroop) of Paramatma (God) . He whose mind becomes established in equanimity,attains victory over the world, while living in it, and thus experiences theSupreme Reality (ParaBrahma Paramatma). This equanimity comes when other'ssorrows becomes our sorrow, and when other's happiness becomes our happiness. In Gita, Bhagwaan says -

"Aatmoupamyena sarvatra samam pachyati yorjuna |sukham vaa yadi va dukham sa yogi paramo matah || (Gita 6/32)

"O' Arjuna ! That man who like his body, sees the same everywhere, and seeshappiness and unhappiness the same everywhere, that Yogi is understood to bebest of all."

Just like when there is pain in any part of the body then there is longing andeffort to try to get rid of that pain, similarly when any being undergoessorrow, grief, suffering etc. then with equal intentness, when one tries to puteffort towards removing the suffering, then one attains equanimity. It has alsobeen observed in the behavior of saints -

"Per dukh dukh sukh sukh dekhe per." (Manas 7/38/1)

As long as there is longing for one's own happiness, till then however mucheffort you put, equanimity will not arise. But once when from one's very heartthere is the intense drive and longing that how can others become happy? Howcan they get rest and relaxation? How can they benefit? How can they attainsalvation? Then equanimity will come naturally, on it's own.

This must first begin at home. There must be the inner sentiment that let not asingle being ever suffer or experience any difficulties in the least bit. Letno one ever lose their faith. However much of difficulty I undergo, let mymother-father, wife-children, brother and brother-in-law etc. remain happy. Bymaking our family members happy, with certainty we will attain peace. Where therelationship is outside our immediate family, there if you make someone happy,then extraordinary joy will start flowing.

However, by giving happiness out of attachment, one will not progress. Therefore, wherever there is no attachment there give happiness, or get rid ofyour attachment while giving happiness to those you are attached to - both thesewill result in one and the same.

Goswami Tulasdasji says about the way Lakshmanji serves Bhagwaan Ram and Sitajiin Chitrakoot.

"Sevahin lakhanu siye raghubeerahi |Jimi abibeki purush sareerahi || (Manas 2/142/1)

Lakshmanji serves Bhagwaan Ram and Sitaji in the same way as an ignorant personserves (cares for) his body. To serve the body, to give it happiness is notwisdom. Even the animals serve their bodies. Just like a female monkey is soattached to her child that even if the baby monkey dies, she carries the deadchild around everywhere. She does not leave it. But if she gets food then sheeats herself first and beyond that she does not allow the baby monkey to eat. If the baby monkey tries to eat, she threatens and beats him, till he screamsand runs away. Therefore when there is attachment, it is impossible to beequanimous.

From "Saadhan, Sudhaa, Sindhu" in hindi pg 877 by Swami Ramsukhdasji

Ram Ram

For ENGLISH WEBSITE please visit: http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.netFor full online discourses in Hindi: http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org

----------------GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -

FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible..3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that theyfurther help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be concise, to the point, refraining from criticism or personal attacks. Berespectful of all sadhaks and avoid judging others.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may modifythe posting.8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.

MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

-------------------------------