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Dear Sir,

Four Months back my marriage got settled, but last month my fiancee has

cancelled marriage based on my past mistakes in life.

I am 28 yrs now. I got attracted to a married man 5 yrs back. In certain

situation i allowed him to touch me. But i realized it soon that it is a

mistake. Since then till now i didnt even meet him once. i stayed away from him.

I shared this with my fiance, the guilt of my mistakes haunted me, i didnt

wanted to cheat him by hiding my relations. To tell you we both had physical

relations in past life. But he says relation with a married man he is not able

to tolerate. I asked him forgiveness and pleaded him a lot that i did that in

ignorance, i never gave a thought on the consequences when i did that mistake.I

really got carried away with his liking towards me.

My fiancee considers it as a crime.I realize my mistake is big. I am not

supporting my mistake but a mistake done 5 yrs back in ignorance cannot be

forgiven?

We both have talked and shared lot of things since 3 months. He knows every

detail of my life. He showed lot of love on me since 3 months but now he says he

cannot marry me, he doesnt love me anymore. I love him and I am not able to stay

away from him. I am feeling very restless and helpless.

He told my parents and his parents about my relations. I am feeling tremendous

guilt and shame. I am feeling like killing myself looking at my old parents who

had to face all this becoz of me.

My mistake cannot be forgiven? What shall i do now? I feel directionless in

life. Please suggest.

Thanks

R.......

=================================

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that theyfurther help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, respecting sadhaka's time.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may modifythe posting.8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

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Posted
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Dear Sir,

Four Months back my marriage got settled, but last month my fiancee has

cancelled marriage based on my past mistakes in life.

I am 28 yrs now. I got attracted to a married man 5 yrs back. In certain

situation i allowed him to touch me. But i realized it soon that it is a

mistake. Since then till now i didnt even meet him once. i stayed away from him.

I shared this with my fiance, the guilt of my mistakes haunted me, i didnt

wanted to cheat him by hiding my relations. To tell you we both had physical

relations in past life. But he says relation with a married man he is not able

to tolerate. I asked him forgiveness and pleaded him a lot that i did that in

ignorance, i never gave a thought on the consequences when i did that mistake.I

really got carried away with his liking towards me.

My fiancee considers it as a crime.I realize my mistake is big. I am not

supporting my mistake but a mistake done 5 yrs back in ignorance cannot be

forgiven?

We both have talked and shared lot of things since 3 months. He knows every

detail of my life. He showed lot of love on me since 3 months but now he says he

cannot marry me, he doesnt love me anymore. I love him and I am not able to stay

away from him. I am feeling very restless and helpless.

He told my parents and his parents about my relations. I am feeling tremendous

guilt and shame. I am feeling like killing myself looking at my old parents who

had to face all this becoz of me.

My mistake cannot be forgiven? What shall i do now? I feel directionless in

life. Please suggest.

Thanks

R.......

-------------------------

NEW POSTING

|| Shree Paramatmane Namah ||

This human life given by God, is more valuable then any incident in this world. If out of ignorance some mistake has been committed, and considering it to be a mistake, if you have made a firm commitment to never again make this mistake, then this mistake does not remain. On telling your mistake, your fiance has decided to sever all relations with you, this was a good thing right now, else if this had happened after marriage, what would happen? Pay attention to this point. One must grieve only for that which is improbable or impossible, the impossible does not happen, what can happen, that happens. "shauk useekaa kijiye, jo anhoni hoi; anhoni hoti nahin, honi hai so hoye." (Sadhak Sanjivani - hindi pg 80). Swamiji has a flawless mantra that always works "Karne mein Saavdhaan, Hone mein Prasanna". "In doing one must be careful, in the outcome one must remain happy." Further ahead, you have a long life in front of you. Forget the ghosts of the past and not getting swept away by worries of the future, simply live the present well. God is very compassionate. So be it...

Sarvottam.

-----------------------------

-Shree Hari-Dear R,Peace be with you!Straight off the top:Bhagavad Gita 9:30:-Even if the vilest sinner worships Me with exclusive devotion, he should beconsidered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be My Devotee.(This is NOT to infer you are by a long chalk a vile sinner, you let yourpassions take control, you made a MISTAKE).If Bhagwan welcomes sinners to his heart, what right has any to judge?Do not judge yourself as unworthy! Turn to 'The Beloved'. In a way by writing tothis 'Divine Forum', you have started to seek Sri Krishna!When an adulteress was brought before Jesus, in reply to questions by the 'mob',he said the punishment by the "Law", is she should be stoned, he then said lethe who is without sin cast the first stone!The only one eligible was Jesus! But he being Divine had only love in his heart.Killing oneself is stacking up more tribulation to be dealt with, in a futurelife.There is a light shining you know, like a Divine Lighthouse, fix your gaze uponthat, genuine repentance, guaranties, Divine forgiveness!!Om Shanti...Mike. (K)

-------------------------------

Dear R

 

Be happy and thank God that saves you from such persons.

 

When you do not want to carry the burden of mistakes in past, it is a sign of your pure heart.

 

Your fiance is unfortunate in rejecting you and you are fortunate that such nature of your fiance has come out in open before marriage.What would have happened if this was revealed after marriage.How you will lead life

with unforgiving and narrow minded person. This also shows the nature of blowing something out of proportion.

 

So,dear R,it is your choice to be happy or unhappy,to say glass is half empty or half full .

 

And do not forget to start daily study of Gita.The regular study of Gita only will enable you to see

the positive side instead of negative.

 

And be fearless ,God recognises ,appreciates and rewards purity in heart.

 

Ashok Jain

-------------------------------

 

 

Dear Ones Namaste!

Dear R...

Please dismiss all ideas about killing, depression etc at once! That is the first thing to do now. They are ideas only now and can be arrested at this level, believe me!

 

If you sincerely repent what had happended in the past, I know you do, then, stop worrying about the world, parents, fiance. Just have no bad feelings for anyone anymore for what happened to you. You take responsibility and you will figure out from the seeming problem.

Look to God, whatever is your understanding of Him is!

God is the greatest forgiver! Trust Him fully, whole hearted!

Nothing can undo whatever has been done. You tried to work out with your fiance, but he doesn't want to marry you. So, bless him and move on. Life doesn't end here.

Next pray to God so hard, many times a day and whenever you can. Ask His help by telling Him that you cannot continue in this agony by yourself alone and He has to interevene now. You may want to write down your weakness on piece of paper and then ask His help in your own words as best as you can. Keep this paper at His feet if you have Murti of you God. Then relax and go on about doing your job as you would normally do.

Spend time with friends, satsangees, if possible. In short be God driven.

Remain open and ready to meet with potential relationship prospects as God may bring you another nice one. But be careful not to have expectations!

You should give this a fair try, and see how God helps those who seek Him!

Namaskar....Pratap Bhatt

--------------------------------

Hare KrishnaI believe there are a few teachings of Sri Hari, Hamare Sri Krishnaji that could be applied in your case!But first, have no doubt.If I was in your situation, I would feel its good that this happened. You got the fruits of your wrong deed (in whatever proportion) so soon. In this birth itself. And, after understanding your situation, if your fiance is still not able to forgive you, feel lucky that it was Krishna's blessings that the marriage got broke. If all this would have happened after the marriage, it would have been much more heart-shattering. Now you are free of this bond because, as it is evident now, it wasnt meant for you.And, have full faith in Krishna. Remember - Whatever happens, happens for good. So, in this is also there is something good He has in store for you, apart from the fact that you were able to cut some of your past bad-Karma right now.And if you surrender yourself to Krishna, you will get comfort automatically. I would also highly recommend listening to Srimad Bhagavat Katha if you could. And, as it is, rather than asking here, just try to get your answers directly from GITAji. You will definitely get your answers!As for parents, dont have much options but to bow to their feet and ask for their forgiveness. They will!! Parents always do. And, then, time is the best healer. And, then...remember, all relationships form a bondage!! True relationship will be only with Parmatma!Hari Bol...Narayan Hari...-Pankaj Verma -------------------------------

All mistakes you are talking about are mistakes recognized as mistake afterwards. And, therefore if the first mistake was to get into some relation with a married man, the second was to tell this to your fiance, third mistake would be to think that your life is not worth living because of the embarrassment to your parents and the loss of the fiance.

Each mistake leades to suffering unless you convince your mind that there is nothing that you need to and can do about things/ events that have alreadt taken place, except not to repeat the same behavior under similar circumstances. The only option is to reduce the amount of time and energy that thoughts concerning these past events are taking away from your mind now close to less than a minute on any day.

You must continue to live happily despite the past events. Time will heal the embarrassment caused to the Parents - may be it will take long time, But if you find another man who would really support you irrespective of your past or you can continue to remain single with lot of work that you enjoy, your Parents and family will forget what happened rgis time very soon. Leave it your last fiance to sort out his problem: he may also be suffering from the same incident of cancelling the marriage. He may soon consider what he has done by cancelling marriage as mistake and come back to you. He may not come back in which case it would prove to you that you had not chosen the right fiance to marry. And, a mistake has been corrected unwittingly by your own folly of sharing some past event with that fiance. Not all fiances can tolerate past relationship of their partners - it is better for them not to know about the past of their partners after having chosen a partner. Mistakes can happen by any one.

So, change your approach from past mistake oriented thoughts to building a future for yourself in different ways than you had been thinking so far. Think that what has happened is God's will for the better of some one or the other. Accept it and move ahead with hope and optimism that God is preparing yourself to deal with greater challanges ahead. Know that your life is not any more dependent on those past events: your life depend on what happens in future.

 

Basudeb Sen

--

Dear sadak,What "R" did is SIN. Bodily engaging before marriage is not permitted by sastras. But the same sastras says, self realization is prayachit. "R" has done wonderful thing by being frank, which erases sinful act and became pavitra (Clean)1) Trust in Bagavan and love HIM to utmost.You get released and liberated. 2) Just marry someone who will LOVE you for your goodness and who will forget your sins of body and love you as a good human. Further help I can do.B.Sathyanarayan---

Hi R, Calm down. Do not kill yourself. If you kill yourself, you will be doing the same thing over and over again six times more (Atma-Hatya). This is a natural law of the universe. Hence, do not kill your-self. The mistake you did that 'you allowed...'. The mistake had happened. Now on (on wards), do not allow any one to touch you..... People are taking the advantages of your mistake done in the past. Stay unmarried and self-sufficient, support yourself. You would be more happy all the time. People have been spending their life in miserable, but are not teling the truth. Pray to the GOD, whichever you believe. He is the only one to support you, protect you, and save you all the time. Jashwant Shah

-----------------------

Forgiveness is divine, dear R...........the seeking of forgiveness.. and forgiving the other ...........

 

But..............

 

we have lost our divinity........... our true being stands eclipsed ..........

 

what transpired between you and the married man............. though a lapse, ..............is happenning daily today ............the march of time , ah ! .............narinder shall not go into the moral aspect of it ............ morality keeps changing ............ different people hold different views .........

 

personally , I feel ...........it is not right, yes............ but , once a mistake is realised ............. and dropped ................. one has learnt from the experience ........... one must , then, learn to forgive oneself first ( having asked God 's forgiveness for the lapse ) .............

 

in life, there are no rehearsals.............. things happen................. each person has to be willing to learn from Life .............. mistake is a mistake , only if it gets repeated ............ if we donot learn from it ....................

 

'right' and 'wrong' , are mind's concepts .................. the mind itself is deluded , because of the march of time ... what should one do ?

 

narinder has found Joy and solace............ in going to the source of the mind .............to God residing in the cavity of your own heart......... to really know and transcend the game of concepts and conditionings that the mind keeps playing .......

 

narinder has sought refuge in the voice of Dharma..... the Unchanging behind the ever changing concepts ..................

 

the Guru and the scriptures have brought peacefulness to the heart ........... also wisdom and strength .... to walk the Path...............

 

while R seeks to walk the great Path that is called ' liberation from fear , pain and delusion' ,

may narinder suggest .............. in this particular situation, forgive yourself ............ no great sin have you committed .............. what happened , happened ................

 

and asto your fiancee................. if he is Not forgiving...................... he is Not worth having a marriage relationship with ..... forget him...............

 

seek refuge at Krishna's feet ................. He it is , who shall come again to you as your fiancee again.... someone , who , too , seeks a mate , to walk the Path of Realisation of the Self with you ...............

 

the goal of Life is self realisation or God realisation ( same thing) ............. and the aim of a marriage true ... is the same ...... to help both imdividuals to realise their ultimate potential , now that the basic needs of love, sex, and companionship have been met .......

 

do not despair ................. ask Krishna to be your guide ............... and seek to learn from the Bhagvada Geetha , the way to the self ..................

 

do NOT despair .....let the scriptures be the guide to what your conduct shall be in the world .... pray to God to for strength and wisdom .............. if the prayer is sincere and true ....... the Lord shall show you the Way ..................... He himself comes as the guide ...

 

AUM

 

narinder bhandari

-------------------------

Dear Madam,For every mistake there is forgiveness. If your fiance is unable to forgiveyour mistake But i tell you God will forgive your mistake if you confess yourmistake without hide anything. I am sure that God knows everything, everydealings of our life. Tell your fiance that, if you are not able to my mistakeeven though i told about my past life with you without hide. God will not forgetyour mistake.According to Bible Jesus said that we must love one another & forgive oneanother. I also had same like your problem . I told my husband only after ourengagements. He agreed with me but some he used to ask me often about my past.But after i gave birth to a child I faced many problems with my Husband>Gradually i told about Love of Christ Jesus & His forgivess to this mankind. Sowe are nothing when we comapred to GOd who forgave our sins, trespass. I askedGod to forgive my sins before my engaement with tears i prayed God for myfuture. Initially i thought to Hide every my past to my Husband But i couldnotso, I told step by step my past even though He showed me Love but later He usedto speak about my past.But now I am leading a Very Happy married life almost 3 years over. i hope whodelivered me from this problem the Same God will deliver you and He will blessyou & your future.I hope you console of this reply,thanksGracy

=================================

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that theyfurther help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, respecting sadhaka's time.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may modifythe posting.8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

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Share on other sites
Guest guest

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Posted
Posted

Dear Sir,

Four Months back my marriage got settled, but last month my fiancee has

cancelled marriage based on my past mistakes in life.

I am 28 yrs now. I got attracted to a married man 5 yrs back. In certain

situation i allowed him to touch me. But i realized it soon that it is a

mistake. Since then till now i didnt even meet him once. i stayed away from him.

I shared this with my fiance, the guilt of my mistakes haunted me, i didnt

wanted to cheat him by hiding my relations. To tell you we both had physical

relations in past life. But he says relation with a married man he is not able

to tolerate. I asked him forgiveness and pleaded him a lot that i did that in

ignorance, i never gave a thought on the consequences when i did that mistake.I

really got carried away with his liking towards me.

My fiancee considers it as a crime.I realize my mistake is big. I am not

supporting my mistake but a mistake done 5 yrs back in ignorance cannot be

forgiven?

We both have talked and shared lot of things since 3 months. He knows every

detail of my life. He showed lot of love on me since 3 months but now he says he

cannot marry me, he doesnt love me anymore. I love him and I am not able to stay

away from him. I am feeling very restless and helpless.

He told my parents and his parents about my relations. I am feeling tremendous

guilt and shame. I am feeling like killing myself looking at my old parents who

had to face all this becoz of me.

My mistake cannot be forgiven? What shall i do now? I feel directionless in

life. Please suggest.

Thanks

R.......

-------------------------

NEW POSTING

Mistakes … Forgiveness … Peace of Mind … Dhamma … Dilemma …Dharma is trifold – personal (Jaata), social (samaaja) and eternal (Sanaatana).Personal dharma is developed based on the complete freedom provided by thenature within. I like white is purely my choice. If I like black, that too. Thepersonal likes and dislikes are just personal. Nobody can change except oneself.Trying to change somebody else's personal opnions is wrong since it does moreharm than good, almost always. Therefore, what your fiance thinks is neverauthored by you – you neither are responsible for it nor do you have anyauthority over it. But what you think is definitely your authorship – you areresponsible and you have full authority. You had a choice either to hide thetruth or to tell. By telling you have invited social wrath from around … by nottelling you would have triggered a personal wrath from within. In my opinion,the wrath from within is a bigger danger than its social nemesis though thelater cannot be trivialized in manner.Social dharma can never work on the framework of personal freedom. It evolvesperpetually based on power-centric popular consensus that builds and nurtues thesoceity. Therefore, expecting social forgiveness on any act violating the verysocial foundation is mythical. That defies the very definition of a soceity. Onthe other hand, one has the responsibility and duty to conform to the socialnorms for one's own benefit as well as the others' benefits in large. Allreligion and law try to do is to protect and nurture the accepted social valuesand thwart any threat to the same. One tries to work with the popoulations'desires and aspirations to be happy and the other brings in the fear factor tomaintain order in the same. Irrespectively, the population will insist on itsvalues as any deviation looks like an imbalance in its perceived socialequilibrium. The only way to go against the social norms is either to nurturethe personal strength to withstand and even obliviate the social wrath fromwithin and/or to develop social influence to change the social values as such.You have to look for either or both to help yourself to resolve the conflictraised between you (person) and the soceity (your relations).The Sanaatana Dharma transcends the very concept of freedom as THAT IS THEFREEDOM where there are no choices to make in the first place. Milk being milkcannot be forced to be anything else by any force in the universe. Fire burningthe paper cannot be reverted to wetting the paper by any force in this universe.So are YOU. The more you see YOU the stronger you will become to face all thepersonal and social adversities. Because, all the personal and socialpreferences and expectations (bondage in other words) are developed ONLY DUE TOONE REASON – you (the ever changing) not being YOU (the never changing) even fora moment carried away by the frenzy of the so called life. My sincere suggestionto you is to PAUSE and have a sincere look within introspectively as well asretrospectively.Kritam Smara … recall what was done … what REALLY was done … was anything doneat all? …Krato Smara … recall who did … who REALLY did … could anybody do anything atall? …The more you contemplate on the doing as well as the doer from the apparentsuperficial perspective of what you are for the soceity toward what you are foryourself … transcending the soceity as well as you to WHAT YOU REALLY ARE … youwill have the MOKSHA from your dilemmas. This solution is sure to work acrossall the dilemmas; because, THE TRUTH – that YOU ARE and EVRYTHING IS –transcends all dilemmas categorically.Kindly, gather synergy of all your existence from within and help yourselftoward relief from the grief that is certainly beyond one's imagination.Deep Respects.Naga Narayana.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear R….

Whom are you asking to forgive? Krishna says that it is He whom you are accountable to. If you are true to your heart (and Him), do not consider anyone else important. If a person (your fiancée) can not understand you and your true love, he is not worth it. You will find better person and it will be very soon. You leave it to Him and be calm. Believe in Him, surrender to Him and you will be like Him- calm and at peace.

Jai pal

-----

Dear R..... My respects to you, all glories to the Lord in the Heart who is guiding allof us. You are certainly suffering a lot....there is a point in life where we haveto ask, "how long will this go on?" But to go beyond the feeling that your lifeis useless is very important....there are so many things that you can findhappines in to take the focus away from him. Get out of the house and startfinding some volunteer activities, or a yoga group, or different church group.Ulitimately, if we turn to anyone except the Supreme Lord, we are only hurtingourselves.....He is our dearmost friend, guide, lover, etc. Would He reject youor I because we committed what some consider to be a mistake? According to adifferent system of belief, you have done no wrong. No, He wouldn't rejectyou, because He knows you are eternally to be loved and cared for. He willnever stop feeling affection and love for you. You CAN pick yourself up, andhave dignity, self-respect, and honor, if you go beyond the dharmas of thisworld, and remember to the think of the Lord at every moment. This is our true dharma....it surpasses allelse.Sincerely, Maha Laksmi Dasi

------

Learn from the past......Plan for the future.......but Live in the present.......

 

We all make mistakes as per our understanding of life at the time.....but as we mature....our understanding becomes better.....we need to learn and move on........guilt feeling should be left in the past.....guilt is a thought, replace it with I am the best now....wiser after learning from past.....

 

with a new understanding....new life has to be experienced in the present.......a happy, joyful, present full of wisdom/understanding of rules of life, knowing your true self.....and that in turn will build a bright future......

 

In short, be very positive. Worst will be over as soon as you change your thoughts....count the good points you have in life.....and move on......live in present....happily....a good future awaits you.....

 

We all have the power, all alone, to turn the worst into the best........try it......take it as a challenge....

Best wishes

Sushil Jain

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear All,

 

A person committing an error in ignorance and realising the fault and wows not to even think of such a mistake becomes pure in heart.

 

Everyone has rightly advised.

 

Boldness in revelation is the first step of righteousness.

 

Past life is immaterial when you decide how to live in future.

 

We wish the lady a peaceful, prosperous and happy life.

 

Ramesh Babu Think Good and Do Good, No harm ever will come to you; Good Human being is the perenial need of this World.

V.Ramesh Babu

 

 

-------------------------

PRIOR POSTING

|| Shree Paramatmane Namah ||

This human life given by God, is more valuable then any incident in this world. If out of ignorance some mistake has been committed, and considering it to be a mistake, if you have made a firm commitment to never again make this mistake, then this mistake does not remain. On telling your mistake, your fiance has decided to sever all relations with you, this was a good thing right now, else if this had happened after marriage, what would happen? Pay attention to this point. One must grieve only for that which is improbable or impossible, the impossible does not happen, what can happen, that happens. "shauk useekaa kijiye, jo anhoni hoi; anhoni hoti nahin, honi hai so hoye." (Sadhak Sanjivani - hindi pg 80). Swamiji has a flawless mantra that always works "Karne mein Saavdhaan, Hone mein Prasanna". "In doing one must be careful, in the outcome one must remain happy." Further ahead, you have a long life in front of you. Forget the ghosts of the past and not getting swept away by worries of the future, simply live the present well. God is very compassionate. So be it...

Sarvottam.

-----------------------------

-Shree Hari-Dear R,Peace be with you!Straight off the top:Bhagavad Gita 9:30:-Even if the vilest sinner worships Me with exclusive devotion, he should beconsidered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be My Devotee.(This is NOT to infer you are by a long chalk a vile sinner, you let yourpassions take control, you made a MISTAKE).If Bhagwan welcomes sinners to his heart, what right has any to judge?Do not judge yourself as unworthy! Turn to 'The Beloved'. In a way by writing tothis 'Divine Forum', you have started to seek Sri Krishna!When an adulteress was brought before Jesus, in reply to questions by the 'mob',he said the punishment by the "Law", is she should be stoned, he then said lethe who is without sin cast the first stone!The only one eligible was Jesus! But he being Divine had only love in his heart.Killing oneself is stacking up more tribulation to be dealt with, in a futurelife.There is a light shining you know, like a Divine Lighthouse, fix your gaze uponthat, genuine repentance, guaranties, Divine forgiveness!!Om Shanti...Mike. (K)

-------------------------------

Dear R

 

Be happy and thank God that saves you from such persons.

 

When you do not want to carry the burden of mistakes in past, it is a sign of your pure heart.

 

Your fiance is unfortunate in rejecting you and you are fortunate that such nature of your fiance has come out in open before marriage.What would have happened if this was revealed after marriage.How you will lead life

with unforgiving and narrow minded person. This also shows the nature of blowing something out of proportion.

 

So,dear R,it is your choice to be happy or unhappy,to say glass is half empty or half full .

 

And do not forget to start daily study of Gita.The regular study of Gita only will enable you to see

the positive side instead of negative.

 

And be fearless ,God recognises ,appreciates and rewards purity in heart.

 

Ashok Jain

-------------------------------

 

 

Dear Ones Namaste!

Dear R...

Please dismiss all ideas about killing, depression etc at once! That is the first thing to do now. They are ideas only now and can be arrested at this level, believe me!

 

If you sincerely repent what had happended in the past, I know you do, then, stop worrying about the world, parents, fiance. Just have no bad feelings for anyone anymore for what happened to you. You take responsibility and you will figure out from the seeming problem.

Look to God, whatever is your understanding of Him is!

God is the greatest forgiver! Trust Him fully, whole hearted!

Nothing can undo whatever has been done. You tried to work out with your fiance, but he doesn't want to marry you. So, bless him and move on. Life doesn't end here.

Next pray to God so hard, many times a day and whenever you can. Ask His help by telling Him that you cannot continue in this agony by yourself alone and He has to interevene now. You may want to write down your weakness on piece of paper and then ask His help in your own words as best as you can. Keep this paper at His feet if you have Murti of you God. Then relax and go on about doing your job as you would normally do.

Spend time with friends, satsangees, if possible. In short be God driven.

Remain open and ready to meet with potential relationship prospects as God may bring you another nice one. But be careful not to have expectations!

You should give this a fair try, and see how God helps those who seek Him!

Namaskar....Pratap Bhatt

--------------------------------

Hare KrishnaI believe there are a few teachings of Sri Hari, Hamare Sri Krishnaji that could be applied in your case!But first, have no doubt.If I was in your situation, I would feel its good that this happened. You got the fruits of your wrong deed (in whatever proportion) so soon. In this birth itself. And, after understanding your situation, if your fiance is still not able to forgive you, feel lucky that it was Krishna's blessings that the marriage got broke. If all this would have happened after the marriage, it would have been much more heart-shattering. Now you are free of this bond because, as it is evident now, it wasnt meant for you.And, have full faith in Krishna. Remember - Whatever happens, happens for good. So, in this is also there is something good He has in store for you, apart from the fact that you were able to cut some of your past bad-Karma right now.And if you surrender yourself to Krishna, you will get comfort automatically. I would also highly recommend listening to Srimad Bhagavat Katha if you could. And, as it is, rather than asking here, just try to get your answers directly from GITAji. You will definitely get your answers!As for parents, dont have much options but to bow to their feet and ask for their forgiveness. They will!! Parents always do. And, then, time is the best healer. And, then...remember, all relationships form a bondage!! True relationship will be only with Parmatma!Hari Bol...Narayan Hari...-Pankaj Verma -------------------------------

All mistakes you are talking about are mistakes recognized as mistake afterwards. And, therefore if the first mistake was to get into some relation with a married man, the second was to tell this to your fiance, third mistake would be to think that your life is not worth living because of the embarrassment to your parents and the loss of the fiance.

Each mistake leades to suffering unless you convince your mind that there is nothing that you need to and can do about things/ events that have alreadt taken place, except not to repeat the same behavior under similar circumstances. The only option is to reduce the amount of time and energy that thoughts concerning these past events are taking away from your mind now close to less than a minute on any day.

You must continue to live happily despite the past events. Time will heal the embarrassment caused to the Parents - may be it will take long time, But if you find another man who would really support you irrespective of your past or you can continue to remain single with lot of work that you enjoy, your Parents and family will forget what happened rgis time very soon. Leave it your last fiance to sort out his problem: he may also be suffering from the same incident of cancelling the marriage. He may soon consider what he has done by cancelling marriage as mistake and come back to you. He may not come back in which case it would prove to you that you had not chosen the right fiance to marry. And, a mistake has been corrected unwittingly by your own folly of sharing some past event with that fiance. Not all fiances can tolerate past relationship of their partners - it is better for them not to know about the past of their partners after having chosen a partner. Mistakes can happen by any one.

So, change your approach from past mistake oriented thoughts to building a future for yourself in different ways than you had been thinking so far. Think that what has happened is God's will for the better of some one or the other. Accept it and move ahead with hope and optimism that God is preparing yourself to deal with greater challanges ahead. Know that your life is not any more dependent on those past events: your life depend on what happens in future.

 

Basudeb Sen

--

Dear sadak,What "R" did is SIN. Bodily engaging before marriage is not permitted by sastras. But the same sastras says, self realization is prayachit. "R" has done wonderful thing by being frank, which erases sinful act and became pavitra (Clean)1) Trust in Bagavan and love HIM to utmost.You get released and liberated. 2) Just marry someone who will LOVE you for your goodness and who will forget your sins of body and love you as a good human. Further help I can do.B.Sathyanarayan---

Hi R, Calm down. Do not kill yourself. If you kill yourself, you will be doing the same thing over and over again six times more (Atma-Hatya). This is a natural law of the universe. Hence, do not kill your-self. The mistake you did that 'you allowed...'. The mistake had happened. Now on (on wards), do not allow any one to touch you..... People are taking the advantages of your mistake done in the past. Stay unmarried and self-sufficient, support yourself. You would be more happy all the time. People have been spending their life in miserable, but are not teling the truth. Pray to the GOD, whichever you believe. He is the only one to support you, protect you, and save you all the time. Jashwant Shah

-----------------------

Forgiveness is divine, dear R...........the seeking of forgiveness.. and forgiving the other ...........

 

But..............

 

we have lost our divinity........... our true being stands eclipsed ..........

 

what transpired between you and the married man............. though a lapse, ..............is happenning daily today ............the march of time , ah ! .............narinder shall not go into the moral aspect of it ............ morality keeps changing ............ different people hold different views .........

 

personally , I feel ...........it is not right, yes............ but , once a mistake is realised ............. and dropped ................. one has learnt from the experience ........... one must , then, learn to forgive oneself first ( having asked God 's forgiveness for the lapse ) .............

 

in life, there are no rehearsals.............. things happen................. each person has to be willing to learn from Life .............. mistake is a mistake , only if it gets repeated ............ if we donot learn from it ....................

 

'right' and 'wrong' , are mind's concepts .................. the mind itself is deluded , because of the march of time ... what should one do ?

 

narinder has found Joy and solace............ in going to the source of the mind .............to God residing in the cavity of your own heart......... to really know and transcend the game of concepts and conditionings that the mind keeps playing .......

 

narinder has sought refuge in the voice of Dharma..... the Unchanging behind the ever changing concepts ..................

 

the Guru and the scriptures have brought peacefulness to the heart ........... also wisdom and strength .... to walk the Path...............

 

while R seeks to walk the great Path that is called ' liberation from fear , pain and delusion' ,

may narinder suggest .............. in this particular situation, forgive yourself ............ no great sin have you committed .............. what happened , happened ................

 

and asto your fiancee................. if he is Not forgiving...................... he is Not worth having a marriage relationship with ..... forget him...............

 

seek refuge at Krishna's feet ................. He it is , who shall come again to you as your fiancee again.... someone , who , too , seeks a mate , to walk the Path of Realisation of the Self with you ...............

 

the goal of Life is self realisation or God realisation ( same thing) ............. and the aim of a marriage true ... is the same ...... to help both imdividuals to realise their ultimate potential , now that the basic needs of love, sex, and companionship have been met .......

 

do not despair ................. ask Krishna to be your guide ............... and seek to learn from the Bhagvada Geetha , the way to the self ..................

 

do NOT despair .....let the scriptures be the guide to what your conduct shall be in the world .... pray to God to for strength and wisdom .............. if the prayer is sincere and true ....... the Lord shall show you the Way ..................... He himself comes as the guide ...

 

AUM

 

narinder bhandari

-------------------------

Dear Madam,For every mistake there is forgiveness. If your fiance is unable to forgiveyour mistake But i tell you God will forgive your mistake if you confess yourmistake without hide anything. I am sure that God knows everything, everydealings of our life. Tell your fiance that, if you are not able to my mistakeeven though i told about my past life with you without hide. God will not forgetyour mistake.According to Bible Jesus said that we must love one another & forgive oneanother. I also had same like your problem . I told my husband only after ourengagements. He agreed with me but some he used to ask me often about my past.But after i gave birth to a child I faced many problems with my Husband>Gradually i told about Love of Christ Jesus & His forgivess to this mankind. Sowe are nothing when we comapred to GOd who forgave our sins, trespass. I askedGod to forgive my sins before my engaement with tears i prayed God for myfuture. Initially i thought to Hide every my past to my Husband But i couldnotso, I told step by step my past even though He showed me Love but later He usedto speak about my past.But now I am leading a Very Happy married life almost 3 years over. i hope whodelivered me from this problem the Same God will deliver you and He will blessyou & your future.I hope you console of this reply,thanksGracy

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Dear Sir,

Four Months back my marriage got settled, but last month my fiancee has

cancelled marriage based on my past mistakes in life.

I am 28 yrs now. I got attracted to a married man 5 yrs back. In certain

situation i allowed him to touch me. But i realized it soon that it is a

mistake. Since then till now i didnt even meet him once. i stayed away from him.

I shared this with my fiance, the guilt of my mistakes haunted me, i didnt

wanted to cheat him by hiding my relations. To tell you we both had physical

relations in past life. But he says relation with a married man he is not able

to tolerate. I asked him forgiveness and pleaded him a lot that i did that in

ignorance, i never gave a thought on the consequences when i did that mistake.I

really got carried away with his liking towards me.

My fiancee considers it as a crime.I realize my mistake is big. I am not

supporting my mistake but a mistake done 5 yrs back in ignorance cannot be

forgiven?

We both have talked and shared lot of things since 3 months. He knows every

detail of my life. He showed lot of love on me since 3 months but now he says he

cannot marry me, he doesnt love me anymore. I love him and I am not able to stay

away from him. I am feeling very restless and helpless.

He told my parents and his parents about my relations. I am feeling tremendous

guilt and shame. I am feeling like killing myself looking at my old parents who

had to face all this becoz of me.

My mistake cannot be forgiven? What shall i do now? I feel directionless in

life. Please suggest.

Thanks

R.......

-------------------------

NEW POSTING

Hari OmTo err is human. Not to repeat error is divine. You indeed sinned. But you repented and paid/are paying the penalty thereof by earning displeasure of your parents, ill fame and losing some 'dear' ones. You are 'quits' now. Both the sin and its consequences are over.Now you only have to conquer your own mind. Fresh thoughts of suicide, guilt, apprehensions, fear, remorse, loss and hopelessness are simply your new stupidities. You must renounce them. You must rise above them. You must look up and see the life as a fresh beginning.But the fact is also that you were pure hearted soul. That quality of 'not cheating' any one; of repentance/regret over an error, of honesty, of transparency is far superior than any other thing. Your fiance is not worth regretting about. Forget about him for ever. Worry about your parents and seek their forgiveness. They will surely understand. Let the life take its own course without fiance or his surroundings. Take care of your parents. Dont carry any further desires about future - negative or positive. No apprehensions, no anxieties, no fears. Turn towards Paramatma. See how little human life changes with one incident, one error or one gesture. Consider human life to be a place where there are likings and dislikings waiting to be conquered. Consider that you are not alone with a situation like this. Consider that each soul is sufferring with one thing or other. The world is 'Dukhalayam' ! Consider that in the present circumstances and situations your ultimate betterment is hidden.Consider hundreds of alternatives which are open to you inspite of what you narrated. Live the life as it comes. Concentrate fearlessly on your DUTIES !! Forget the past. What else past or present is except a dream? What can you gain or lose in a dream ? Hey Little Divine Girl ! Cheer up ! Laugh the past out.

Simply 1. Dont worry (Ma Suchah) 2. Serve your parents and endeavour to please them 3 Leave your desires for 'x' or 'y' situation/circumstance 4. Turn towards God 5 Start laughing/giggling and give a fresh look to life as it is existing NOW- without worry, remorse, guilt, and with EQUANIMITY ! 6 Leave the company of those who look at you with sarcasm- remember every human sins, many sin repeatedly; rather almost all are sinning continuously; hence dont bother about surroundings or loose talkers even a bit - you should damn care. You are fully justified in completely ignoring them. 7 Learn through Satsanga / Scriptures/ Good Company (Forums like this GT Group) as to what is human life; why it is; what is duty and what you should henceforth really do/get/know now that by God's grace you have got human life. 8 Be cheerful ; remain cheerful . Dont worry. You are daughter of the King of all Kings- Paramatma. Love being that. Enjoy being that. Rejoice being that.9 When in sad mood, pray to God. Keep always yourself surrounded by holy thoughts, holy actions, holy attitude, holy books and holy people. Never Never worry. Do your duties diligently.

DONT WORRY. DONT WORRY. DONT WORRY - MA SUCHAH ! Give a fresh glance to SELF !Respect human life.It is more rare than anything else. You have got it. Hence become happy by this thought and look ahead. One incidence/sin does not take away infinite glory of human life. Jai Shree KrishnaVyas N B

------------------------------

Surrender to God and ask for strength to go through the suffering. More yousurrender, more strength you will get and one day you will come out of yourdilema with the strength of your surrender and the consequent Grace of God.There should be no thinking how the Grace will come, when it will come etc. Justhave Faith in surrender and His Grace and it will produce a miracle which inreality is not.Jayantilal Shah

-------------------------------

Jai Shree Krishna

 

Who has not commited an error? I am yet to see a faultless guy on this earth. I remember our Revered Swamiji once told in a pravachan: I have not sinned for last 30/40 years ...Sure...but I cannot say that during this life I have never sinned. Everybody sometime or other sins. You also fell prey to it. But you were courageous enough to reveal that. REMEMBER : Law is that BOTH SINS AND VIRTUES INCREASE WHEN THEY ARE CONCEALED. By admitting you have not only stopped the tendency of sin to increase but have also exposed yourself to quick consequence. So you got the result also fast. It is over and all now. A thing of past.

 

Forget about the fiancee. He is not a soul befitting your purity. He is not a lesser sinner nor was that married man. In every adversity there is pleasure hidden. In every pleasure there is sorrow hidden. That is how the life is. Now PLEASE dont pay attention to your past sins. PLEASE dont think about the incident. PLEASE ignore all the people or the talks which fiancee is making before his relatives regarding you. They are not worth thinking about. They are not worth pleading to. They are not worth desiring for.THINK AHEAD. There is entire human life lying open before you. You cant afford to pause or look back with shame, guilt and remorse. TURN TOWARDS GOD. Make use of the present adverse situation/circumstances by resolving not to 1. Repeat the error 2. Desire for favourable circumstances. If you have to do one thing on priority.....that is TAKE CARE OF YOUR PARENTS. Do your duty as the future unfolds before you. Leave the very desire that he or someone else should forgive you or accept you. Leave it ! Fearlessly leave it. Life does not end with single happenning. TURN TOWARDS GOD. Adversity has been given to you so that you may change your course. JUST LEAVE THE DESIRE FOR FAVOURABLE CIRCUMSTANCES. The favourable circumstances then will fall at your feet....begging to get a glance from you. REMEMBER: You are as pious, as pure, and as faultless as you were before that incident with married man or before your confession to your fiancee. NOTHING NOTHING HAS CHANGED....only you have become more solid to face the viccissitudes of human life. The very fact that you have turned towards this Divine Satsanga Forum proves that God is with you with His full might. Rejoice....Be happy....Love being in company of SAT and fall at the pious feet of God and your parents...fearlessly, remorselessly, worrylessly and with full of vigour and enthusiasm.

 

Swami Rupesh Kumar

-----------------

 

Narain ! Narain !!

 

Nothing has happened in your life Dear R ! What is so big about making an error? These marital relations in a life of a bachelor girl keep changing. You marry ultimately only that guy with whom you are destined to marry. What is so big about it ? Sooner or later you will find a m,atch. Just remove yourself out of present surroundings and serve your parents fearlessly. Look at God in case of need and at no body else. You made a mistake and you got remorseful of the same. Now that you have got results also ....move ahead. Sin is no more there. Only you have to forget about it. Narain ! Narain !!

 

Dont think anymore about that fiancee or about that married man. They are manipulators. They are not worth being your spouse or being in your pious mind. You are miles ahead of them in purity. Dont waste your time by constantly regretting about the past. Sure the biggest error was to inflict a hurt on your parents. Take care of them with renewed vigour and vitality. They will forgive you. Look at God. Keep contributing to this Satsanga Forum. Live as life comes at you. Be fearless about the future. Be ignorant about the past. Be Dutiful at present. Enough. Everybody is burning in this world with sorrow. Only those who have turned towards God are few exceptions. They also face adversity but for them there is pleasure visible inside adversity. BE BOLD. FACE THIS WORLD WITH CONVICTION, COURAGE AND CONFIDENCE. Simply DONOT BE SAD. Simply DONOT WORRY.

 

Narain ! Narain !!

 

Naarad Maharishi

 

------------------

aha !!

 

 

aum !!!!

 

 

beautiful,

 

beautiful, blissful, ........ bliss and beauty ......

 

the words that have flowed from naga narayan jee ................

 

ah, dear R ............

 

read them joyfully............

 

read them again and again, yet again...........

 

till each word sinks into your being, shattering your Mind ( concepts and conditionings )....

 

 

Blessings from nari and narinder ............

AUM

Narinder

----PRIOR POSTING

Mistakes … Forgiveness … Peace of Mind … Dhamma … Dilemma …Dharma is trifold – personal (Jaata), social (samaaja) and eternal (Sanaatana).Personal dharma is developed based on the complete freedom provided by thenature within. I like white is purely my choice. If I like black, that too. Thepersonal likes and dislikes are just personal. Nobody can change except oneself.Trying to change somebody else's personal opnions is wrong since it does moreharm than good, almost always. Therefore, what your fiance thinks is neverauthored by you – you neither are responsible for it nor do you have anyauthority over it. But what you think is definitely your authorship – you areresponsible and you have full authority. You had a choice either to hide thetruth or to tell. By telling you have invited social wrath from around … by nottelling you would have triggered a personal wrath from within. In my opinion,the wrath from within is a bigger danger than its social nemesis though thelater cannot be trivialized in manner.Social dharma can never work on the framework of personal freedom. It evolvesperpetually based on power-centric popular consensus that builds and nurtues thesoceity. Therefore, expecting social forgiveness on any act violating the verysocial foundation is mythical. That defies the very definition of a soceity. Onthe other hand, one has the responsibility and duty to conform to the socialnorms for one's own benefit as well as the others' benefits in large. Allreligion and law try to do is to protect and nurture the accepted social valuesand thwart any threat to the same. One tries to work with the popoulations'desires and aspirations to be happy and the other brings in the fear factor tomaintain order in the same. Irrespectively, the population will insist on itsvalues as any deviation looks like an imbalance in its perceived socialequilibrium. The only way to go against the social norms is either to nurturethe personal strength to withstand and even obliviate the social wrath fromwithin and/or to develop social influence to change the social values as such.You have to look for either or both to help yourself to resolve the conflictraised between you (person) and the soceity (your relations).The Sanaatana Dharma transcends the very concept of freedom as THAT IS THEFREEDOM where there are no choices to make in the first place. Milk being milkcannot be forced to be anything else by any force in the universe. Fire burningthe paper cannot be reverted to wetting the paper by any force in this universe.So are YOU. The more you see YOU the stronger you will become to face all thepersonal and social adversities. Because, all the personal and socialpreferences and expectations (bondage in other words) are developed ONLY DUE TOONE REASON – you (the ever changing) not being YOU (the never changing) even fora moment carried away by the frenzy of the so called life. My sincere suggestionto you is to PAUSE and have a sincere look within introspectively as well asretrospectively.Kritam Smara … recall what was done … what REALLY was done … was anything doneat all? …Krato Smara … recall who did … who REALLY did … could anybody do anything atall? …The more you contemplate on the doing as well as the doer from the apparentsuperficial perspective of what you are for the soceity toward what you are foryourself … transcending the soceity as well as you to WHAT YOU REALLY ARE … youwill have the MOKSHA from your dilemmas. This solution is sure to work acrossall the dilemmas; because, THE TRUTH – that YOU ARE and EVRYTHING IS –transcends all dilemmas categorically.Kindly, gather synergy of all your existence from within and help yourselftoward relief from the grief that is certainly beyond one's imagination.Deep Respects.Naga Narayana.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear R….

Whom are you asking to forgive? Krishna says that it is He whom you are accountable to. If you are true to your heart (and Him), do not consider anyone else important. If a person (your fiancée) can not understand you and your true love, he is not worth it. You will find better person and it will be very soon. You leave it to Him and be calm. Believe in Him, surrender to Him and you will be like Him- calm and at peace.

Jai pal

-----

Dear R..... My respects to you, all glories to the Lord in the Heart who is guiding allof us. You are certainly suffering a lot....there is a point in life where we haveto ask, "how long will this go on?" But to go beyond the feeling that your lifeis useless is very important....there are so many things that you can findhappines in to take the focus away from him. Get out of the house and startfinding some volunteer activities, or a yoga group, or different church group.Ulitimately, if we turn to anyone except the Supreme Lord, we are only hurtingourselves.....He is our dearmost friend, guide, lover, etc. Would He reject youor I because we committed what some consider to be a mistake? According to adifferent system of belief, you have done no wrong. No, He wouldn't rejectyou, because He knows you are eternally to be loved and cared for. He willnever stop feeling affection and love for you. You CAN pick yourself up, andhave dignity, self-respect, and honor, if you go beyond the dharmas of thisworld, and remember to the think of the Lord at every moment. This is our true dharma....it surpasses allelse.Sincerely, Maha Laksmi Dasi

------

Learn from the past......Plan for the future.......but Live in the present.......

 

We all make mistakes as per our understanding of life at the time.....but as we mature....our understanding becomes better.....we need to learn and move on........guilt feeling should be left in the past.....guilt is a thought, replace it with I am the best now....wiser after learning from past.....

 

with a new understanding....new life has to be experienced in the present.......a happy, joyful, present full of wisdom/understanding of rules of life, knowing your true self.....and that in turn will build a bright future......

 

In short, be very positive. Worst will be over as soon as you change your thoughts....count the good points you have in life.....and move on......live in present....happily....a good future awaits you.....

 

We all have the power, all alone, to turn the worst into the best........try it......take it as a challenge....

Best wishes

Sushil Jain

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear All,

 

A person committing an error in ignorance and realising the fault and wows not to even think of such a mistake becomes pure in heart.

 

Everyone has rightly advised.

 

Boldness in revelation is the first step of righteousness.

 

Past life is immaterial when you decide how to live in future.

 

We wish the lady a peaceful, prosperous and happy life.

 

Ramesh Babu Think Good and Do Good, No harm ever will come to you; Good Human being is the perenial need of this World.

V.Ramesh Babu

 

 

 

-------------------------

PRIOR POSTING

|| Shree Paramatmane Namah ||

This human life given by God, is more valuable then any incident in this world. If out of ignorance some mistake has been committed, and considering it to be a mistake, if you have made a firm commitment to never again make this mistake, then this mistake does not remain. On telling your mistake, your fiance has decided to sever all relations with you, this was a good thing right now, else if this had happened after marriage, what would happen? Pay attention to this point. One must grieve only for that which is improbable or impossible, the impossible does not happen, what can happen, that happens. "shauk useekaa kijiye, jo anhoni hoi; anhoni hoti nahin, honi hai so hoye." (Sadhak Sanjivani - hindi pg 80). Swamiji has a flawless mantra that always works "Karne mein Saavdhaan, Hone mein Prasanna". "In doing one must be careful, in the outcome one must remain happy." Further ahead, you have a long life in front of you. Forget the ghosts of the past and not getting swept away by worries of the future, simply live the present well. God is very compassionate. So be it...

Sarvottam.

-----------------------------

-Shree Hari-Dear R,Peace be with you!Straight off the top:Bhagavad Gita 9:30:-Even if the vilest sinner worships Me with exclusive devotion, he should beconsidered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be My Devotee.(This is NOT to infer you are by a long chalk a vile sinner, you let yourpassions take control, you made a MISTAKE).If Bhagwan welcomes sinners to his heart, what right has any to judge?Do not judge yourself as unworthy! Turn to 'The Beloved'. In a way by writing tothis 'Divine Forum', you have started to seek Sri Krishna!When an adulteress was brought before Jesus, in reply to questions by the 'mob',he said the punishment by the "Law", is she should be stoned, he then said lethe who is without sin cast the first stone!The only one eligible was Jesus! But he being Divine had only love in his heart.Killing oneself is stacking up more tribulation to be dealt with, in a futurelife.There is a light shining you know, like a Divine Lighthouse, fix your gaze uponthat, genuine repentance, guaranties, Divine forgiveness!!Om Shanti...Mike. (K)

-------------------------------

Dear R

 

Be happy and thank God that saves you from such persons.

 

When you do not want to carry the burden of mistakes in past, it is a sign of your pure heart.

 

Your fiance is unfortunate in rejecting you and you are fortunate that such nature of your fiance has come out in open before marriage.What would have happened if this was revealed after marriage.How you will lead life

with unforgiving and narrow minded person. This also shows the nature of blowing something out of proportion.

 

So,dear R,it is your choice to be happy or unhappy,to say glass is half empty or half full .

 

And do not forget to start daily study of Gita.The regular study of Gita only will enable you to see

the positive side instead of negative.

 

And be fearless ,God recognises ,appreciates and rewards purity in heart.

 

Ashok Jain

-------------------------------

 

 

Dear Ones Namaste!

Dear R...

Please dismiss all ideas about killing, depression etc at once! That is the first thing to do now. They are ideas only now and can be arrested at this level, believe me!

 

If you sincerely repent what had happended in the past, I know you do, then, stop worrying about the world, parents, fiance. Just have no bad feelings for anyone anymore for what happened to you. You take responsibility and you will figure out from the seeming problem.

Look to God, whatever is your understanding of Him is!

God is the greatest forgiver! Trust Him fully, whole hearted!

Nothing can undo whatever has been done. You tried to work out with your fiance, but he doesn't want to marry you. So, bless him and move on. Life doesn't end here.

Next pray to God so hard, many times a day and whenever you can. Ask His help by telling Him that you cannot continue in this agony by yourself alone and He has to interevene now. You may want to write down your weakness on piece of paper and then ask His help in your own words as best as you can. Keep this paper at His feet if you have Murti of you God. Then relax and go on about doing your job as you would normally do.

Spend time with friends, satsangees, if possible. In short be God driven.

Remain open and ready to meet with potential relationship prospects as God may bring you another nice one. But be careful not to have expectations!

You should give this a fair try, and see how God helps those who seek Him!

Namaskar....Pratap Bhatt

--------------------------------

Hare KrishnaI believe there are a few teachings of Sri Hari, Hamare Sri Krishnaji that could be applied in your case!But first, have no doubt.If I was in your situation, I would feel its good that this happened. You got the fruits of your wrong deed (in whatever proportion) so soon. In this birth itself. And, after understanding your situation, if your fiance is still not able to forgive you, feel lucky that it was Krishna's blessings that the marriage got broke. If all this would have happened after the marriage, it would have been much more heart-shattering. Now you are free of this bond because, as it is evident now, it wasnt meant for you.And, have full faith in Krishna. Remember - Whatever happens, happens for good. So, in this is also there is something good He has in store for you, apart from the fact that you were able to cut some of your past bad-Karma right now.And if you surrender yourself to Krishna, you will get comfort automatically. I would also highly recommend listening to Srimad Bhagavat Katha if you could. And, as it is, rather than asking here, just try to get your answers directly from GITAji. You will definitely get your answers!As for parents, dont have much options but to bow to their feet and ask for their forgiveness. They will!! Parents always do. And, then, time is the best healer. And, then...remember, all relationships form a bondage!! True relationship will be only with Parmatma!Hari Bol...Narayan Hari...-Pankaj Verma -------------------------------

All mistakes you are talking about are mistakes recognized as mistake afterwards. And, therefore if the first mistake was to get into some relation with a married man, the second was to tell this to your fiance, third mistake would be to think that your life is not worth living because of the embarrassment to your parents and the loss of the fiance.

Each mistake leades to suffering unless you convince your mind that there is nothing that you need to and can do about things/ events that have alreadt taken place, except not to repeat the same behavior under similar circumstances. The only option is to reduce the amount of time and energy that thoughts concerning these past events are taking away from your mind now close to less than a minute on any day.

You must continue to live happily despite the past events. Time will heal the embarrassment caused to the Parents - may be it will take long time, But if you find another man who would really support you irrespective of your past or you can continue to remain single with lot of work that you enjoy, your Parents and family will forget what happened rgis time very soon. Leave it your last fiance to sort out his problem: he may also be suffering from the same incident of cancelling the marriage. He may soon consider what he has done by cancelling marriage as mistake and come back to you. He may not come back in which case it would prove to you that you had not chosen the right fiance to marry. And, a mistake has been corrected unwittingly by your own folly of sharing some past event with that fiance. Not all fiances can tolerate past relationship of their partners - it is better for them not to know about the past of their partners after having chosen a partner. Mistakes can happen by any one.

So, change your approach from past mistake oriented thoughts to building a future for yourself in different ways than you had been thinking so far. Think that what has happened is God's will for the better of some one or the other. Accept it and move ahead with hope and optimism that God is preparing yourself to deal with greater challanges ahead. Know that your life is not any more dependent on those past events: your life depend on what happens in future.

 

Basudeb Sen

--

Dear sadak,What "R" did is SIN. Bodily engaging before marriage is not permitted by sastras. But the same sastras says, self realization is prayachit. "R" has done wonderful thing by being frank, which erases sinful act and became pavitra (Clean)1) Trust in Bagavan and love HIM to utmost.You get released and liberated. 2) Just marry someone who will LOVE you for your goodness and who will forget your sins of body and love you as a good human. Further help I can do.B.Sathyanarayan---

Hi R, Calm down. Do not kill yourself. If you kill yourself, you will be doing the same thing over and over again six times more (Atma-Hatya). This is a natural law of the universe. Hence, do not kill your-self. The mistake you did that 'you allowed...'. The mistake had happened. Now on (on wards), do not allow any one to touch you..... People are taking the advantages of your mistake done in the past. Stay unmarried and self-sufficient, support yourself. You would be more happy all the time. People have been spending their life in miserable, but are not teling the truth. Pray to the GOD, whichever you believe. He is the only one to support you, protect you, and save you all the time. Jashwant Shah

-----------------------

Forgiveness is divine, dear R...........the seeking of forgiveness.. and forgiving the other ...........

 

But..............

 

we have lost our divinity........... our true being stands eclipsed ..........

 

what transpired between you and the married man............. though a lapse, ..............is happenning daily today ............the march of time , ah ! .............narinder shall not go into the moral aspect of it ............ morality keeps changing ............ different people hold different views .........

 

personally , I feel ...........it is not right, yes............ but , once a mistake is realised ............. and dropped ................. one has learnt from the experience ........... one must , then, learn to forgive oneself first ( having asked God 's forgiveness for the lapse ) .............

 

in life, there are no rehearsals.............. things happen................. each person has to be willing to learn from Life .............. mistake is a mistake , only if it gets repeated ............ if we donot learn from it ....................

 

'right' and 'wrong' , are mind's concepts .................. the mind itself is deluded , because of the march of time ... what should one do ?

 

narinder has found Joy and solace............ in going to the source of the mind .............to God residing in the cavity of your own heart......... to really know and transcend the game of concepts and conditionings that the mind keeps playing .......

 

narinder has sought refuge in the voice of Dharma..... the Unchanging behind the ever changing concepts ..................

 

the Guru and the scriptures have brought peacefulness to the heart ........... also wisdom and strength .... to walk the Path...............

 

while R seeks to walk the great Path that is called ' liberation from fear , pain and delusion' ,

may narinder suggest .............. in this particular situation, forgive yourself ............ no great sin have you committed .............. what happened , happened ................

 

and asto your fiancee................. if he is Not forgiving...................... he is Not worth having a marriage relationship with ..... forget him...............

 

seek refuge at Krishna's feet ................. He it is , who shall come again to you as your fiancee again.... someone , who , too , seeks a mate , to walk the Path of Realisation of the Self with you ...............

 

the goal of Life is self realisation or God realisation ( same thing) ............. and the aim of a marriage true ... is the same ...... to help both imdividuals to realise their ultimate potential , now that the basic needs of love, sex, and companionship have been met .......

 

do not despair ................. ask Krishna to be your guide ............... and seek to learn from the Bhagvada Geetha , the way to the self ..................

 

do NOT despair .....let the scriptures be the guide to what your conduct shall be in the world .... pray to God to for strength and wisdom .............. if the prayer is sincere and true ....... the Lord shall show you the Way ..................... He himself comes as the guide ...

 

AUM

 

narinder bhandari

-------------------------

Dear Madam,For every mistake there is forgiveness. If your fiance is unable to forgiveyour mistake But i tell you God will forgive your mistake if you confess yourmistake without hide anything. I am sure that God knows everything, everydealings of our life. Tell your fiance that, if you are not able to my mistakeeven though i told about my past life with you without hide. God will not forgetyour mistake.According to Bible Jesus said that we must love one another & forgive oneanother. I also had same like your problem . I told my husband only after ourengagements. He agreed with me but some he used to ask me often about my past.But after i gave birth to a child I faced many problems with my Husband>Gradually i told about Love of Christ Jesus & His forgivess to this mankind. Sowe are nothing when we comapred to GOd who forgave our sins, trespass. I askedGod to forgive my sins before my engaement with tears i prayed God for myfuture. Initially i thought to Hide every my past to my Husband But i couldnotso, I told step by step my past even though He showed me Love but later He usedto speak about my past.But now I am leading a Very Happy married life almost 3 years over. i hope whodelivered me from this problem the Same God will deliver you and He will blessyou & your future.I hope you console of this reply,thanksGracy

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GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that theyfurther help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, respecting sadhaka's time.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may modifythe posting.8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

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Dear Sir,

Four Months back my marriage got settled, but last month my fiancee has

cancelled marriage based on my past mistakes in life.

I am 28 yrs now. I got attracted to a married man 5 yrs back. In certain

situation i allowed him to touch me. But i realized it soon that it is a

mistake. Since then till now i didnt even meet him once. i stayed away from him.

I shared this with my fiance, the guilt of my mistakes haunted me, i didnt

wanted to cheat him by hiding my relations. To tell you we both had physical

relations in past life. But he says relation with a married man he is not able

to tolerate. I asked him forgiveness and pleaded him a lot that i did that in

ignorance, i never gave a thought on the consequences when i did that mistake.I

really got carried away with his liking towards me.

My fiancee considers it as a crime.I realize my mistake is big. I am not

supporting my mistake but a mistake done 5 yrs back in ignorance cannot be

forgiven?

We both have talked and shared lot of things since 3 months. He knows every

detail of my life. He showed lot of love on me since 3 months but now he says he

cannot marry me, he doesnt love me anymore. I love him and I am not able to stay

away from him. I am feeling very restless and helpless.

He told my parents and his parents about my relations. I am feeling tremendous

guilt and shame. I am feeling like killing myself looking at my old parents who

had to face all this becoz of me.

My mistake cannot be forgiven? What shall i do now? I feel directionless in

life. Please suggest.

Thanks

R.......

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NEW POSTING

Dear all,I fall short of words to convey my thanks to all of you.Each of your valuableresponses is certainly giving insight into life in a different perspective. Ifeel tough to accept that my fiancee who was not righteous himself, rejected methat i was not righteous but as devotee Naga narayana said I am realizing that ihave no authority on this thinking. I did mistakes in life without giving athought. I understand the importance of pondering on a situation beforeproceeding with my desires. Everyone says that I was a fool and i was not streetsmart thats why i revealed my past life to him. It is only from my parents andin this forum that i am getting positive feedbacks on what i did. May be itsgod's intervention that i came across this blog.But are the norms of society different for men and women? Why do we get deceivedby people whom we trust and love? Whom should we trust in life? No one exceptgod can be trusted in life.I want to live for my parents. I don't want to give more troubles and pain formy parents. I want to make them proud and give them happiness. Please guide mehow to surrender to lord? What prayers I should do regularly? How do I wash mysins?I am still going through confusions and depressions as to what is my dharma now?My mother told me to not to tell about my past to anyone from now, She says pastis past and we should learn from past and there is no need to prove anyone aboutmy remorse. She says no one will accept such things. She is worried when i willget married. But if i dont tell my past to the person I will marry, it would notbe dharma. I dont want to lie in my life. I cannot move freely if i lie. Ithaunts me. Please suggest me what is my dharma now? Listening to my mother isdharma or telling about my past before I marry the person is dharma?I repent on my past and I will surely restrain myself from doing any sins andany activity which violates my dharma in future. I will be honest to my Atma andgod. Do I have to tell and prove anyone else that I will not do such things infuture? I feel sad for myself that I have been pleading and begging my fiancéethat I will not do such things in future though he never cared.Please guide me as per Bhagvat Gita and as per lord what should be my Dharma fromnow on? I need Lord's blessings and your blessings. I want to immerse myself inpraying to God.Ramya

-------------------------

Dear R,We are humans and we commit mistakes.But i think you have shown tremendouscourage to tell your fiancee the truth about your past.But he has NOT doneanthing different from any one of the MALES in our society who are brought up inthe belief that Virginity is important and that First love is important etc.Hehas shown normal behaviour here but his betrayal of your trust by exposing youto your parents shows him to be a coward.He wants to escape the guilt by puttingthe onus on your parents.He is NOT worthy of your affection and respect.Now as you have loved this man it will be little difficult to accept that thisfellow is such an unworthy. But TIME is a great healer and you will look at thisphase with lot of HUMOUR. Believe me because i have passed through this. with kind regards captain johann

-----------------------------

Shree Hari Ram Ram

Even if the vilest of sinners, worships God with exclusive devotion, heshould be considered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be God's devotee. (Gita 9:30). In an instant, (at that very moment, immediately) he becomesvirtuous and attains eternal peace. Know for certain and rest assured that God's devotees never fall. Swamiji repeated this verse often, to make certain that we get this message entirely and completely. Swamiji says -

Simply have faith that all (including the suffering) can be overcome by Almighty God's grace. Become God's (I am only God's and only God is Mine). Once you accept this exclusively, thereafter you will never take a fall (i.e. sin again). "Devotee never falls", because even God cannot change a devotee's assurance. Devotion is God's weakness.Meera Das

Ram Ram

------------------------------

New QuestionHari OmWe often wonder whether the error should be confessed/revealed. On the surface, it appears that it is another error to confess error - sound reasons can be cited in support. All hell breaks loose, when one confesses an error. Invariably ! There is "world" waiting for this with a sword in hand, and there is "nature" of individual soul forcing it. But "confession" is the hallmark of a pure soul. All religions advocate acceptance of an error as error. In Christianity the confession is said to be ultimate cleaner of the dust over the soul. Seeing an error as distinct from you is undoubtedly an essential process for its eradication. I think the line is very thin and there must be certain subtle principles governing the choices. There is one thing known as "wisdom" too ! There is discord always between the views of caring/affectionate elders ( say parents) and the views of one who erred. Can there be a possibility of correcting without confessing? Is "resolving not to repeat but keeping mum"not an ideal alternative? Then indeed there is a beautiful and never failing Law of Nature - "Both sins and virtues multiply when concealed." Then there is need for withdrawing yourself from error. Then there is an element known as "conscience" ( antaratma). And of course.... The Beloved.What are views of Divine Sadhaks on this? Wisdom vs Conscience ! Punishment vs Acquittal ! Jagat vs Jeeva ! Mother Nature vs Father Paramatma ! Law of Karma vs Law stated above of concealing the sin/virtue !! "Non repetition" vs "Confession" !!!Jai Shree KrishnaVyas N B ------------------------

Dear Sadaks,This posting is NOT for "R" but in general."To err is human", please think deeply. Does it not look like excuse.? Does it not look like, "After all human can err"? Do sadaks know what is humanism? The person who betrayed also takes it as "To err is human" when he feels having betrayed "R". All sadaks do know that err in the eyes of GOD does not get excused for the one betrayer. Sadaks do you know that Bagavan looks is called in sanskrit "Alukdruk" which means NO ONE escapes sinful act as that committed by the betrayer. "R" is clear out of that looks, because of prayachit. Besides if one thinks carelessly about err, then in the mind one is sowing seed unknowingly about next err. It is easy to say "Forget", but it is very difficult, you all sadaks know, because of impressions deeply laid in mind. (Ref: Vivekachudami) Anything, even parents, whom we lay impressions in mind do disturb us when they die. But Bagavan has tought Yudhava in Yudhava Geetha that how to drop attachments. Besides Bagavan has said in Geetha that to live among everyone, but surrender only to HIM. But we surrender to our emotions Etc but NOT to Bagavan. The best example is Adi Sankara. When he was 5 years old, his father died. When everyone was crying, he remained undisturbed, because he had gyan and was above human level. We all know we have come across so many parents, sisters, brothers friends and Foes in many births, but very little knowledge about not being attached to all around. From the posting, I can see the attachment sadaks having to console "R". "R" has done and that is the end. Let go thoughts and feelings. When Abimanyu died, Sri Krishna said to crying Yuthara, it has happened, let go, stop crying. Hard to follow but easy if one has only love on Sri Krishna.Sri Vyasji, "One incidence/sin does not take away infinite glory of human life." is wrong Sir for Sadaks. (Not for "R"). One incident of Viswamitra with Menaka has removed years of penance. That too it was in rightful way. But Sastras regrets for Sadaks. As said by Sant Meera Doosra Koyi Nayhi. Here Doosra was Menaka. Sri Rama sent arrow on Vaali and killed Vaali for rightful purpose. But Vaali had to come to take back to earth as "Jaara" (HUNTER) who sent arrow on Sri Krishna` s toe and thus ended Sri Krishna Avathar. Cause and effect is Prarabtha Karma. This earth is Karma Boomi. Having come here is only to clear our sins of past. So one has to be very careful to excuse saying Err.One more thing Sadaks: If some one has lost huge amount in share market and sitting very distressed, then imagine you walk in with Bagavath Geetha, he will simple disregard you. He need to recover all by himself from loss. Then Geetha will work.Jai Sri KrishnaB.Sathyanarayan

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PRIOR POSTING

Hari OmTo err is human. Not to repeat error is divine. You indeed sinned. But you repented and paid/are paying the penalty thereof by earning displeasure of your parents, ill fame and losing some 'dear' ones. You are 'quits' now. Both the sin and its consequences are over.Now you only have to conquer your own mind. Fresh thoughts of suicide, guilt, apprehensions, fear, remorse, loss and hopelessness are simply your new stupidities. You must renounce them. You must rise above them. You must look up and see the life as a fresh beginning.But the fact is also that you were pure hearted soul. That quality of 'not cheating' any one; of repentance/regret over an error, of honesty, of transparency is far superior than any other thing. Your fiance is not worth regretting about. Forget about him for ever. Worry about your parents and seek their forgiveness. They will surely understand. Let the life take its own course without fiance or his surroundings. Take care of your parents. Dont carry any further desires about future - negative or positive. No apprehensions, no anxieties, no fears. Turn towards Paramatma. See how little human life changes with one incident, one error or one gesture. Consider human life to be a place where there are likings and dislikings waiting to be conquered. Consider that you are not alone with a situation like this. Consider that each soul is sufferring with one thing or other. The world is 'Dukhalayam' ! Consider that in the present circumstances and situations your ultimate betterment is hidden.Consider hundreds of alternatives which are open to you inspite of what you narrated. Live the life as it comes. Concentrate fearlessly on your DUTIES !! Forget the past. What else past or present is except a dream? What can you gain or lose in a dream ? Hey Little Divine Girl ! Cheer up ! Laugh the past out.

Simply 1. Dont worry (Ma Suchah) 2. Serve your parents and endeavour to please them 3 Leave your desires for 'x' or 'y' situation/circumstance 4. Turn towards God 5 Start laughing/giggling and give a fresh look to life as it is existing NOW- without worry, remorse, guilt, and with EQUANIMITY ! 6 Leave the company of those who look at you with sarcasm- remember every human sins, many sin repeatedly; rather almost all are sinning continuously; hence dont bother about surroundings or loose talkers even a bit - you should damn care. You are fully justified in completely ignoring them. 7 Learn through Satsanga / Scriptures/ Good Company (Forums like this GT Group) as to what is human life; why it is; what is duty and what you should henceforth really do/get/know now that by God's grace you have got human life. 8 Be cheerful ; remain cheerful . Dont worry. You are daughter of the King of all Kings- Paramatma. Love being that. Enjoy being that. Rejoice being that.9 When in sad mood, pray to God. Keep always yourself surrounded by holy thoughts, holy actions, holy attitude, holy books and holy people. Never Never worry. Do your duties diligently.

DONT WORRY. DONT WORRY. DONT WORRY - MA SUCHAH ! Give a fresh glance to SELF !Respect human life.It is more rare than anything else. You have got it. Hence become happy by this thought and look ahead. One incidence/sin does not take away infinite glory of human life. Jai Shree KrishnaVyas N B

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Surrender to God and ask for strength to go through the suffering. More yousurrender, more strength you will get and one day you will come out of yourdilema with the strength of your surrender and the consequent Grace of God.There should be no thinking how the Grace will come, when it will come etc. Justhave Faith in surrender and His Grace and it will produce a miracle which inreality is not.Jayantilal Shah

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Jai Shree Krishna

 

Who has not commited an error? I am yet to see a faultless guy on this earth. I remember our Revered Swamiji once told in a pravachan: I have not sinned for last 30/40 years ...Sure...but I cannot say that during this life I have never sinned. Everybody sometime or other sins. You also fell prey to it. But you were courageous enough to reveal that. REMEMBER : Law is that BOTH SINS AND VIRTUES INCREASE WHEN THEY ARE CONCEALED. By admitting you have not only stopped the tendency of sin to increase but have also exposed yourself to quick consequence. So you got the result also fast. It is over and all now. A thing of past.

 

Forget about the fiancee. He is not a soul befitting your purity. He is not a lesser sinner nor was that married man. In every adversity there is pleasure hidden. In every pleasure there is sorrow hidden. That is how the life is. Now PLEASE dont pay attention to your past sins. PLEASE dont think about the incident. PLEASE ignore all the people or the talks which fiancee is making before his relatives regarding you. They are not worth thinking about. They are not worth pleading to. They are not worth desiring for.THINK AHEAD. There is entire human life lying open before you. You cant afford to pause or look back with shame, guilt and remorse. TURN TOWARDS GOD. Make use of the present adverse situation/circumstances by resolving not to 1. Repeat the error 2. Desire for favourable circumstances. If you have to do one thing on priority.....that is TAKE CARE OF YOUR PARENTS. Do your duty as the future unfolds before you. Leave the very desire that he or someone else should forgive you or accept you. Leave it ! Fearlessly leave it. Life does not end with single happenning. TURN TOWARDS GOD. Adversity has been given to you so that you may change your course. JUST LEAVE THE DESIRE FOR FAVOURABLE CIRCUMSTANCES. The favourable circumstances then will fall at your feet....begging to get a glance from you. REMEMBER: You are as pious, as pure, and as faultless as you were before that incident with married man or before your confession to your fiancee. NOTHING NOTHING HAS CHANGED....only you have become more solid to face the viccissitudes of human life. The very fact that you have turned towards this Divine Satsanga Forum proves that God is with you with His full might. Rejoice....Be happy....Love being in company of SAT and fall at the pious feet of God and your parents...fearlessly, remorselessly, worrylessly and with full of vigour and enthusiasm.

 

Swami Rupesh Kumar

-----------------

 

Narain ! Narain !!

 

Nothing has happened in your life Dear R ! What is so big about making an error? These marital relations in a life of a bachelor girl keep changing. You marry ultimately only that guy with whom you are destined to marry. What is so big about it ? Sooner or later you will find a m,atch. Just remove yourself out of present surroundings and serve your parents fearlessly. Look at God in case of need and at no body else. You made a mistake and you got remorseful of the same. Now that you have got results also ....move ahead. Sin is no more there. Only you have to forget about it. Narain ! Narain !!

 

Dont think anymore about that fiancee or about that married man. They are manipulators. They are not worth being your spouse or being in your pious mind. You are miles ahead of them in purity. Dont waste your time by constantly regretting about the past. Sure the biggest error was to inflict a hurt on your parents. Take care of them with renewed vigour and vitality. They will forgive you. Look at God. Keep contributing to this Satsanga Forum. Live as life comes at you. Be fearless about the future. Be ignorant about the past. Be Dutiful at present. Enough. Everybody is burning in this world with sorrow. Only those who have turned towards God are few exceptions. They also face adversity but for them there is pleasure visible inside adversity. BE BOLD. FACE THIS WORLD WITH CONVICTION, COURAGE AND CONFIDENCE. Simply DONOT BE SAD. Simply DONOT WORRY.

 

Narain ! Narain !!

 

Naarad Maharishi

 

------------------

aha !!

 

 

aum !!!!

 

 

beautiful,

 

beautiful, blissful, ........ bliss and beauty ......

 

the words that have flowed from naga narayan jee ................

 

ah, dear R ............

 

read them joyfully............

 

read them again and again, yet again...........

 

till each word sinks into your being, shattering your Mind ( concepts and conditionings )....

 

 

Blessings from nari and narinder ............

AUM

Narinder

----PRIOR POSTING

Mistakes … Forgiveness … Peace of Mind … Dhamma … Dilemma …Dharma is trifold – personal (Jaata), social (samaaja) and eternal (Sanaatana).Personal dharma is developed based on the complete freedom provided by thenature within. I like white is purely my choice. If I like black, that too. Thepersonal likes and dislikes are just personal. Nobody can change except oneself.Trying to change somebody else's personal opnions is wrong since it does moreharm than good, almost always. Therefore, what your fiance thinks is neverauthored by you – you neither are responsible for it nor do you have anyauthority over it. But what you think is definitely your authorship – you areresponsible and you have full authority. You had a choice either to hide thetruth or to tell. By telling you have invited social wrath from around … by nottelling you would have triggered a personal wrath from within. In my opinion,the wrath from within is a bigger danger than its social nemesis though thelater cannot be trivialized in manner.Social dharma can never work on the framework of personal freedom. It evolvesperpetually based on power-centric popular consensus that builds and nurtues thesoceity. Therefore, expecting social forgiveness on any act violating the verysocial foundation is mythical. That defies the very definition of a soceity. Onthe other hand, one has the responsibility and duty to conform to the socialnorms for one's own benefit as well as the others' benefits in large. Allreligion and law try to do is to protect and nurture the accepted social valuesand thwart any threat to the same. One tries to work with the popoulations'desires and aspirations to be happy and the other brings in the fear factor tomaintain order in the same. Irrespectively, the population will insist on itsvalues as any deviation looks like an imbalance in its perceived socialequilibrium. The only way to go against the social norms is either to nurturethe personal strength to withstand and even obliviate the social wrath fromwithin and/or to develop social influence to change the social values as such.You have to look for either or both to help yourself to resolve the conflictraised between you (person) and the soceity (your relations).The Sanaatana Dharma transcends the very concept of freedom as THAT IS THEFREEDOM where there are no choices to make in the first place. Milk being milkcannot be forced to be anything else by any force in the universe. Fire burningthe paper cannot be reverted to wetting the paper by any force in this universe.So are YOU. The more you see YOU the stronger you will become to face all thepersonal and social adversities. Because, all the personal and socialpreferences and expectations (bondage in other words) are developed ONLY DUE TOONE REASON – you (the ever changing) not being YOU (the never changing) even fora moment carried away by the frenzy of the so called life. My sincere suggestionto you is to PAUSE and have a sincere look within introspectively as well asretrospectively.Kritam Smara … recall what was done … what REALLY was done … was anything doneat all? …Krato Smara … recall who did … who REALLY did … could anybody do anything atall? …The more you contemplate on the doing as well as the doer from the apparentsuperficial perspective of what you are for the soceity toward what you are foryourself … transcending the soceity as well as you to WHAT YOU REALLY ARE … youwill have the MOKSHA from your dilemmas. This solution is sure to work acrossall the dilemmas; because, THE TRUTH – that YOU ARE and EVRYTHING IS –transcends all dilemmas categorically.Kindly, gather synergy of all your existence from within and help yourselftoward relief from the grief that is certainly beyond one's imagination.Deep Respects.Naga Narayana.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear R….

Whom are you asking to forgive? Krishna says that it is He whom you are accountable to. If you are true to your heart (and Him), do not consider anyone else important. If a person (your fiancée) can not understand you and your true love, he is not worth it. You will find better person and it will be very soon. You leave it to Him and be calm. Believe in Him, surrender to Him and you will be like Him- calm and at peace.

Jai pal

-----

Dear R..... My respects to you, all glories to the Lord in the Heart who is guiding allof us. You are certainly suffering a lot....there is a point in life where we haveto ask, "how long will this go on?" But to go beyond the feeling that your lifeis useless is very important....there are so many things that you can findhappines in to take the focus away from him. Get out of the house and startfinding some volunteer activities, or a yoga group, or different church group.Ulitimately, if we turn to anyone except the Supreme Lord, we are only hurtingourselves.....He is our dearmost friend, guide, lover, etc. Would He reject youor I because we committed what some consider to be a mistake? According to adifferent system of belief, you have done no wrong. No, He wouldn't rejectyou, because He knows you are eternally to be loved and cared for. He willnever stop feeling affection and love for you. You CAN pick yourself up, andhave dignity, self-respect, and honor, if you go beyond the dharmas of thisworld, and remember to the think of the Lord at every moment. This is our true dharma....it surpasses allelse.Sincerely, Maha Laksmi Dasi

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Learn from the past......Plan for the future.......but Live in the present.......

 

We all make mistakes as per our understanding of life at the time.....but as we mature....our understanding becomes better.....we need to learn and move on........guilt feeling should be left in the past.....guilt is a thought, replace it with I am the best now....wiser after learning from past.....

 

with a new understanding....new life has to be experienced in the present.......a happy, joyful, present full of wisdom/understanding of rules of life, knowing your true self.....and that in turn will build a bright future......

 

In short, be very positive. Worst will be over as soon as you change your thoughts....count the good points you have in life.....and move on......live in present....happily....a good future awaits you.....

 

We all have the power, all alone, to turn the worst into the best........try it......take it as a challenge....

Best wishes

Sushil Jain

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear All,

 

A person committing an error in ignorance and realising the fault and wows not to even think of such a mistake becomes pure in heart.

 

Everyone has rightly advised.

 

Boldness in revelation is the first step of righteousness.

 

Past life is immaterial when you decide how to live in future.

 

We wish the lady a peaceful, prosperous and happy life.

 

Ramesh Babu Think Good and Do Good, No harm ever will come to you; Good Human being is the perenial need of this World.

V.Ramesh Babu

 

 

 

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PRIOR POSTING

|| Shree Paramatmane Namah ||

This human life given by God, is more valuable then any incident in this world. If out of ignorance some mistake has been committed, and considering it to be a mistake, if you have made a firm commitment to never again make this mistake, then this mistake does not remain. On telling your mistake, your fiance has decided to sever all relations with you, this was a good thing right now, else if this had happened after marriage, what would happen? Pay attention to this point. One must grieve only for that which is improbable or impossible, the impossible does not happen, what can happen, that happens. "shauk useekaa kijiye, jo anhoni hoi; anhoni hoti nahin, honi hai so hoye." (Sadhak Sanjivani - hindi pg 80). Swamiji has a flawless mantra that always works "Karne mein Saavdhaan, Hone mein Prasanna". "In doing one must be careful, in the outcome one must remain happy." Further ahead, you have a long life in front of you. Forget the ghosts of the past and not getting swept away by worries of the future, simply live the present well. God is very compassionate. So be it...

Sarvottam.

-----------------------------

-Shree Hari-Dear R,Peace be with you!Straight off the top:Bhagavad Gita 9:30:-Even if the vilest sinner worships Me with exclusive devotion, he should beconsidered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be My Devotee.(This is NOT to infer you are by a long chalk a vile sinner, you let yourpassions take control, you made a MISTAKE).If Bhagwan welcomes sinners to his heart, what right has any to judge?Do not judge yourself as unworthy! Turn to 'The Beloved'. In a way by writing tothis 'Divine Forum', you have started to seek Sri Krishna!When an adulteress was brought before Jesus, in reply to questions by the 'mob',he said the punishment by the "Law", is she should be stoned, he then said lethe who is without sin cast the first stone!The only one eligible was Jesus! But he being Divine had only love in his heart.Killing oneself is stacking up more tribulation to be dealt with, in a futurelife.There is a light shining you know, like a Divine Lighthouse, fix your gaze uponthat, genuine repentance, guaranties, Divine forgiveness!!Om Shanti...Mike. (K)

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Dear R

 

Be happy and thank God that saves you from such persons.

 

When you do not want to carry the burden of mistakes in past, it is a sign of your pure heart.

 

Your fiance is unfortunate in rejecting you and you are fortunate that such nature of your fiance has come out in open before marriage.What would have happened if this was revealed after marriage.How you will lead life

with unforgiving and narrow minded person. This also shows the nature of blowing something out of proportion.

 

So,dear R,it is your choice to be happy or unhappy,to say glass is half empty or half full .

 

And do not forget to start daily study of Gita.The regular study of Gita only will enable you to see

the positive side instead of negative.

 

And be fearless ,God recognises ,appreciates and rewards purity in heart.

 

Ashok Jain

-------------------------------

 

 

Dear Ones Namaste!

Dear R...

Please dismiss all ideas about killing, depression etc at once! That is the first thing to do now. They are ideas only now and can be arrested at this level, believe me!

 

If you sincerely repent what had happended in the past, I know you do, then, stop worrying about the world, parents, fiance. Just have no bad feelings for anyone anymore for what happened to you. You take responsibility and you will figure out from the seeming problem.

Look to God, whatever is your understanding of Him is!

God is the greatest forgiver! Trust Him fully, whole hearted!

Nothing can undo whatever has been done. You tried to work out with your fiance, but he doesn't want to marry you. So, bless him and move on. Life doesn't end here.

Next pray to God so hard, many times a day and whenever you can. Ask His help by telling Him that you cannot continue in this agony by yourself alone and He has to interevene now. You may want to write down your weakness on piece of paper and then ask His help in your own words as best as you can. Keep this paper at His feet if you have Murti of you God. Then relax and go on about doing your job as you would normally do.

Spend time with friends, satsangees, if possible. In short be God driven.

Remain open and ready to meet with potential relationship prospects as God may bring you another nice one. But be careful not to have expectations!

You should give this a fair try, and see how God helps those who seek Him!

Namaskar....Pratap Bhatt

--------------------------------

Hare KrishnaI believe there are a few teachings of Sri Hari, Hamare Sri Krishnaji that could be applied in your case!But first, have no doubt.If I was in your situation, I would feel its good that this happened. You got the fruits of your wrong deed (in whatever proportion) so soon. In this birth itself. And, after understanding your situation, if your fiance is still not able to forgive you, feel lucky that it was Krishna's blessings that the marriage got broke. If all this would have happened after the marriage, it would have been much more heart-shattering. Now you are free of this bond because, as it is evident now, it wasnt meant for you.And, have full faith in Krishna. Remember - Whatever happens, happens for good. So, in this is also there is something good He has in store for you, apart from the fact that you were able to cut some of your past bad-Karma right now.And if you surrender yourself to Krishna, you will get comfort automatically. I would also highly recommend listening to Srimad Bhagavat Katha if you could. And, as it is, rather than asking here, just try to get your answers directly from GITAji. You will definitely get your answers!As for parents, dont have much options but to bow to their feet and ask for their forgiveness. They will!! Parents always do. And, then, time is the best healer. And, then...remember, all relationships form a bondage!! True relationship will be only with Parmatma!Hari Bol...Narayan Hari...-Pankaj Verma -------------------------------

All mistakes you are talking about are mistakes recognized as mistake afterwards. And, therefore if the first mistake was to get into some relation with a married man, the second was to tell this to your fiance, third mistake would be to think that your life is not worth living because of the embarrassment to your parents and the loss of the fiance.

Each mistake leades to suffering unless you convince your mind that there is nothing that you need to and can do about things/ events that have alreadt taken place, except not to repeat the same behavior under similar circumstances. The only option is to reduce the amount of time and energy that thoughts concerning these past events are taking away from your mind now close to less than a minute on any day.

You must continue to live happily despite the past events. Time will heal the embarrassment caused to the Parents - may be it will take long time, But if you find another man who would really support you irrespective of your past or you can continue to remain single with lot of work that you enjoy, your Parents and family will forget what happened rgis time very soon. Leave it your last fiance to sort out his problem: he may also be suffering from the same incident of cancelling the marriage. He may soon consider what he has done by cancelling marriage as mistake and come back to you. He may not come back in which case it would prove to you that you had not chosen the right fiance to marry. And, a mistake has been corrected unwittingly by your own folly of sharing some past event with that fiance. Not all fiances can tolerate past relationship of their partners - it is better for them not to know about the past of their partners after having chosen a partner. Mistakes can happen by any one.

So, change your approach from past mistake oriented thoughts to building a future for yourself in different ways than you had been thinking so far. Think that what has happened is God's will for the better of some one or the other. Accept it and move ahead with hope and optimism that God is preparing yourself to deal with greater challanges ahead. Know that your life is not any more dependent on those past events: your life depend on what happens in future.

 

Basudeb Sen

--

Dear sadak,What "R" did is SIN. Bodily engaging before marriage is not permitted by sastras. But the same sastras says, self realization is prayachit. "R" has done wonderful thing by being frank, which erases sinful act and became pavitra (Clean)1) Trust in Bagavan and love HIM to utmost.You get released and liberated. 2) Just marry someone who will LOVE you for your goodness and who will forget your sins of body and love you as a good human. Further help I can do.B.Sathyanarayan---

Hi R, Calm down. Do not kill yourself. If you kill yourself, you will be doing the same thing over and over again six times more (Atma-Hatya). This is a natural law of the universe. Hence, do not kill your-self. The mistake you did that 'you allowed...'. The mistake had happened. Now on (on wards), do not allow any one to touch you..... People are taking the advantages of your mistake done in the past. Stay unmarried and self-sufficient, support yourself. You would be more happy all the time. People have been spending their life in miserable, but are not teling the truth. Pray to the GOD, whichever you believe. He is the only one to support you, protect you, and save you all the time. Jashwant Shah

-----------------------

Forgiveness is divine, dear R...........the seeking of forgiveness.. and forgiving the other ...........

 

But..............

 

we have lost our divinity........... our true being stands eclipsed ..........

 

what transpired between you and the married man............. though a lapse, ..............is happenning daily today ............the march of time , ah ! .............narinder shall not go into the moral aspect of it ............ morality keeps changing ............ different people hold different views .........

 

personally , I feel ...........it is not right, yes............ but , once a mistake is realised ............. and dropped ................. one has learnt from the experience ........... one must , then, learn to forgive oneself first ( having asked God 's forgiveness for the lapse ) .............

 

in life, there are no rehearsals.............. things happen................. each person has to be willing to learn from Life .............. mistake is a mistake , only if it gets repeated ............ if we donot learn from it ....................

 

'right' and 'wrong' , are mind's concepts .................. the mind itself is deluded , because of the march of time ... what should one do ?

 

narinder has found Joy and solace............ in going to the source of the mind .............to God residing in the cavity of your own heart......... to really know and transcend the game of concepts and conditionings that the mind keeps playing .......

 

narinder has sought refuge in the voice of Dharma..... the Unchanging behind the ever changing concepts ..................

 

the Guru and the scriptures have brought peacefulness to the heart ........... also wisdom and strength .... to walk the Path...............

 

while R seeks to walk the great Path that is called ' liberation from fear , pain and delusion' ,

may narinder suggest .............. in this particular situation, forgive yourself ............ no great sin have you committed .............. what happened , happened ................

 

and asto your fiancee................. if he is Not forgiving...................... he is Not worth having a marriage relationship with ..... forget him...............

 

seek refuge at Krishna's feet ................. He it is , who shall come again to you as your fiancee again.... someone , who , too , seeks a mate , to walk the Path of Realisation of the Self with you ...............

 

the goal of Life is self realisation or God realisation ( same thing) ............. and the aim of a marriage true ... is the same ...... to help both imdividuals to realise their ultimate potential , now that the basic needs of love, sex, and companionship have been met .......

 

do not despair ................. ask Krishna to be your guide ............... and seek to learn from the Bhagvada Geetha , the way to the self ..................

 

do NOT despair .....let the scriptures be the guide to what your conduct shall be in the world .... pray to God to for strength and wisdom .............. if the prayer is sincere and true ....... the Lord shall show you the Way ..................... He himself comes as the guide ...

 

AUM

 

narinder bhandari

-------------------------

Dear Madam,For every mistake there is forgiveness. If your fiance is unable to forgiveyour mistake But i tell you God will forgive your mistake if you confess yourmistake without hide anything. I am sure that God knows everything, everydealings of our life. Tell your fiance that, if you are not able to my mistakeeven though i told about my past life with you without hide. God will not forgetyour mistake.According to Bible Jesus said that we must love one another & forgive oneanother. I also had same like your problem . I told my husband only after ourengagements. He agreed with me but some he used to ask me often about my past.But after i gave birth to a child I faced many problems with my Husband>Gradually i told about Love of Christ Jesus & His forgivess to this mankind. Sowe are nothing when we comapred to GOd who forgave our sins, trespass. I askedGod to forgive my sins before my engaement with tears i prayed God for myfuture. Initially i thought to Hide every my past to my Husband But i couldnotso, I told step by step my past even though He showed me Love but later He usedto speak about my past.But now I am leading a Very Happy married life almost 3 years over. i hope whodelivered me from this problem the Same God will deliver you and He will blessyou & your future.I hope you console of this reply,thanksGracy

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GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that theyfurther help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, respecting sadhaka's time.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may modifythe posting.8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

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Dear Sir,

Four Months back my marriage got settled, but last month my fiancee has

cancelled marriage based on my past mistakes in life.

I am 28 yrs now. I got attracted to a married man 5 yrs back. In certain

situation i allowed him to touch me. But i realized it soon that it is a

mistake. Since then till now i didnt even meet him once. i stayed away from him.

I shared this with my fiance, the guilt of my mistakes haunted me, i didnt

wanted to cheat him by hiding my relations. To tell you we both had physical

relations in past life. But he says relation with a married man he is not able

to tolerate. I asked him forgiveness and pleaded him a lot that i did that in

ignorance, i never gave a thought on the consequences when i did that mistake.I

really got carried away with his liking towards me.

My fiancee considers it as a crime.I realize my mistake is big. I am not

supporting my mistake but a mistake done 5 yrs back in ignorance cannot be

forgiven?

We both have talked and shared lot of things since 3 months. He knows every

detail of my life. He showed lot of love on me since 3 months but now he says he

cannot marry me, he doesnt love me anymore. I love him and I am not able to stay

away from him. I am feeling very restless and helpless.

He told my parents and his parents about my relations. I am feeling tremendous

guilt and shame. I am feeling like killing myself looking at my old parents who

had to face all this becoz of me.

My mistake cannot be forgiven? What shall i do now? I feel directionless in

life. Please suggest.

Thanks

R.......

-------------------------

NEW POSTING

-Shree Hari-Namaste!Brother Vyas has brought up some interesting points. Even though I had lookedinwards for a response, I also referred to Sadhaka-Sanjivani. I picked up on asimple line by Swamiji when commenting Bhagavadgita 4:38 page 563 :-How can an impure thing suppress the pure thing? (My reflections upon B.G. 4:38,was triggered by Ramyaji's response to Sadhaks replies to her originalquestion).That simple line, has a global/universal truth within it.Truth is virtuous, lies are sinful, so to tell the truth is pure, like a candlethat cannot be extinguished, darkness is destroyed by light, but light cannot bedestroyed darkness. One can look at ignorance as darkness.To hide sins and virtues will multiply them, absolutely!If a Sadhak asked me, "Have you ever been drunk", I would answer, "Yes, manymany moons ago, I have long since given up booze, about 3 decades ago".Now the fact is, I am not hiding a sin by not talking about it, such a thing isnot relevant, it is something I don't do. (If it became relevant, then I answerwith honesty).One can correct without confession, one can say that's enough of that! And juststop, and turn away. Mind you confession is a powerful tool it can help oneresolve, especially for those who feel they lack strength, but with all theirheart wish to break free from the grip of a sin.Repentance is the thing! To me repentance is not regret, it is a transcendence,a step further up the ladder towards 'The Divine Beloved', the sin one onceindulged in becomes abhorrent.A quotable quote by Swamiji.Now henceforth, I will not sin. This is real penance. Om Shanti....Mike (K).

-------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hari OmAnswers to Qs raised by R (Ramya) :Q But are the norms of society different for men and women? A Yes! They are different species. Though both are humans but Different roles. Different duties. Different responsibilities. Different Dharma, Different Genders ! Hence norms of Society are different for males and females. Even Scriptures differentiate between the two, on many counts. .Q Why do we get deceived by people whom we trust and love?A. Because this world has been designed (By God) in such a manner that in the end there is deception only. It is not a place to enjoy/suffer- it is an examination hall. The moment you desire for world/worldly people/worldly things- sorrow is guaranteed- as a Law. Doing one's Duty without expecting anything in return ONLY does not generate sorrow. Another name of Duty is DHARMA.Q Whom should we trust in life? No one except god can be trusted in life.A You have rightly answered yourself. But you can trust your parents through "obedience" !Q Please guide me how to surrender to lord?A Say/Accept/Resolve with a simple heart - O Lord I surrender to you. Believe that. Mean that. Thereupon - 1Become Fearless 2. Become Griefless 3 Become Worryless 4 Become Doubtless . Dont think much reg Surrender thereafter. Take life thereafter as it comes. Dont set any yardsticks. Simply do your duties - as a female; as a daughter; as a human; as a householder, as a sadhak, etc, etc.Q What prayers I should do regularly?A Whatever/however you like. But first: Accept firmly with a simple child like heart: I am of God; Only God is mine; Nothing else is mine. Mere to Girdhar Gopal , Doosaro Na Koi. Dont stress too much on prayers. First "become" of God by above "firm acceptance". Thereafter even your doing a household duty becomes a prayer. But spare some time for regular prayers also, if you can.Q How do I wash my sins?A By resolving not to repeat ! Dont consider yourself to be a sinner. Dont accept existence of sin in you. Learn to forget. Learn to ignore. Dont think about that which (sin) came in your life as a visitor and went. No sin is permanent. It is already gone. You are unnecessarily getting "attached" to it and are remembering it. Q What is my dharma now?A To obey and please your parents and to exactly do what they tell you to do- fearlessly, doubtlessly ! Give top priority to this . Q My mother told me to not to tell about my past to anyone from now, She says past is past and we should learn from past and there is no need to prove anyone about my remorse.A An obedient child obeys. He/She never judges the wisdom of his/her parents. Do as she says. Lord Rama said to Laxman the following when Laxman opposed orders of Dashratha-" I am not a thinker. I am an obeyer to my parents."It is your foremost Dharma to do as your parents tell you. Remember : 0bedience to parents ( till you are married) is a Dharma in itself, superseding all other dharmas. No harm can ever be caused to a child by obeying to parents- it is a law/ dharma in itself Q But if i dont tell my past to the person I will marry, it would not be dharma. I dont want to lie in my life.A But if you disobey your parents then it is a bigger 'adharma'. When you obey, the responsibility of dharma/adharma and its consequences, the onus of judgement etc everything shifts to your parents - as a law. You always earn virtue (punya) when you obey irrespective of the correctness of orders given to you. You cease to be responsible. If they say jump into ocean: Jump! Be obedient ! You are free from day 1 ! The glory of "Surrender" lies in "obedience" !! Believe me on this. Question of lying arises only when some body asks you Q ! Dont worry about that which does not exist. Q I cannot move freely if i lie. It haunts me. Please suggest me what is my dharma now? Listening to my mother is dharma or telling about my past before I marry the person is dharma?A You have already done that confession. Any further confessions will only mean that you continue to be "attached" to sin. Moreover a new sin of disobedience to your mother will be added to it. Till you get married, obey your parents fearlessly/doubtlessly. Do exactly as they advice you to do. Dont Question ! There is nectar of all duties concealed in "obedience to Parents/Guru" !!Q I repent on my past and I will surely restrain myself from doing any sins and any activity which violates my dharma in future. I will be honest to my Atma and god. Do I have to tell and prove anyone else that I will not do such things in future?A No ! You need not any more tell about anything to anybody . Obey your parents. Just resolve firmly not to repeat . Be honest to your Atma and God ! That is more than enough. Follow the deliberations on this thread closely. A lot of wisdom is on your way. Read each response carefully. Ask Qs when in doubt. Keep in touch.Jai Shree KrishnaVyas N B

------

Dear Sadak Ramya,The law for woman and man are different due our own deeds of past. Say to be a bird or worm in a dust bin is deeds of past says Geetha and elaborately in Vivekachudamani. If you should trust someone there is rules. Before marriage you could trust man only to the level of good manners and not give yourself bodily. Bagavan knows a Baktha is capable of withstanding HIS test. But still Bagavan does test. You could have tested your person. Many sastras say, that repentance (prayachit) is considered highest virtue to become pure. You are absolutely pure, NO doubt. Like any dirt on body that can be washed, your so called sin got washed away by your repentance.Bagavan in Geetha says that HE takes care of HIS Bakthas to place them good surrounding, with good people, etc and does not allow bad ones to come near HIS baktha. So just surrender to HIM and keep saying Hare Krishna- Krishna Krishna Hare Hare.B.Sathyanarayan

-------------------------

Shri Hari Ram Ram

You didnt wanted to cheat him by hiding your relations.I only can say if he agree to visit with you for Ganga Bathing at Har ki podi -Haridwar by saying that you will purify by Ganga. Secondly promise for the future. God will help you.

Pawan Kumar Singhal

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I did not want to comment on this post earlier, but let me add a different perspective.

 

Ok, You were young when your first "love" or actually "infatuation" happened. We are not here to decide if it was right or wrong, or whether it is a sin. It is a normal human emotion.

Many others would have controlled such an impulse, and many more yield to such temptations. What is more important is that there is a valuable lesson that you learnt.

If that married man, perhaps with children, had dumped his wife, for you, the situation would have been worse, for everyone, and especially the children. Thank God, nothing like that happened.

 

Now, your second encounter----with honesty, is Good. If you have to start on a life of truth and honesty, especially with your spouse, there is nothing you should be afraid of. In fact, in 2009, there is acceptance of prior relationships, one would think, even in Indian villages. Life has changed, thanx to Bollywood ( for better or for worse ). What is important is that you also accept your spouse's prior indiscretions, and live out a fruitful life. Perhaps, the man you were "engaged" to is also immature, if he is more concerned about your prior relationship with a married person, but is not questioning the entire relationship with anyone !!

 

From now, find something meaningful in life to do. Job. Social work, whatever that helps others. During this experience of your life, you will come across someone who wants you for what you do in society and not for reasons of marriage by purity !! He will respect you and want you for what you are, for what you have become, for what you contribute to society and for your mature handling of issues, whether social or otherwise.

 

Durgesh Mankikar,MD

------------------------

Dear R...Better, you both consult a marriage counseller...Gee waman

---------------------------

 

-------------------------

PRIOR POSTING

Dear all,I fall short of words to convey my thanks to all of you.Each of your valuableresponses is certainly giving insight into life in a different perspective. Ifeel tough to accept that my fiancee who was not righteous himself, rejected methat i was not righteous but as devotee Naga narayana said I am realizing that ihave no authority on this thinking. I did mistakes in life without giving athought. I understand the importance of pondering on a situation beforeproceeding with my desires. Everyone says that I was a fool and i was not streetsmart thats why i revealed my past life to him. It is only from my parents andin this forum that i am getting positive feedbacks on what i did. May be itsgod's intervention that i came across this blog.But are the norms of society different for men and women? Why do we get deceivedby people whom we trust and love? Whom should we trust in life? No one exceptgod can be trusted in life.I want to live for my parents. I don't want to give more troubles and pain formy parents. I want to make them proud and give them happiness. Please guide mehow to surrender to lord? What prayers I should do regularly? How do I wash mysins?I am still going through confusions and depressions as to what is my dharma now?My mother told me to not to tell about my past to anyone from now, She says pastis past and we should learn from past and there is no need to prove anyone aboutmy remorse. She says no one will accept such things. She is worried when i willget married. But if i dont tell my past to the person I will marry, it would notbe dharma. I dont want to lie in my life. I cannot move freely if i lie. Ithaunts me. Please suggest me what is my dharma now? Listening to my mother isdharma or telling about my past before I marry the person is dharma?I repent on my past and I will surely restrain myself from doing any sins andany activity which violates my dharma in future. I will be honest to my Atma andgod. Do I have to tell and prove anyone else that I will not do such things infuture? I feel sad for myself that I have been pleading and begging my fiancéethat I will not do such things in future though he never cared.Please guide me as per Bhagvat Gita and as per lord what should be my Dharma fromnow on? I need Lord's blessings and your blessings. I want to immerse myself inpraying to God.Ramya

-------------------------

Dear R,We are humans and we commit mistakes.But i think you have shown tremendouscourage to tell your fiancee the truth about your past.But he has NOT doneanthing different from any one of the MALES in our society who are brought up inthe belief that Virginity is important and that First love is important etc.Hehas shown normal behaviour here but his betrayal of your trust by exposing youto your parents shows him to be a coward.He wants to escape the guilt by puttingthe onus on your parents.He is NOT worthy of your affection and respect.Now as you have loved this man it will be little difficult to accept that thisfellow is such an unworthy. But TIME is a great healer and you will look at thisphase with lot of HUMOUR. Believe me because i have passed through this. with kind regards captain johann

-----------------------------

Shree Hari Ram Ram

Even if the vilest of sinners, worships God with exclusive devotion, heshould be considered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be God's devotee. (Gita 9:30). In an instant, (at that very moment, immediately) he becomesvirtuous and attains eternal peace. Know for certain and rest assured that God's devotees never fall. Swamiji repeated this verse often, to make certain that we get this message entirely and completely. Swamiji says -

Simply have faith that all (including the suffering) can be overcome by Almighty God's grace. Become God's (I am only God's and only God is Mine). Once you accept this exclusively, thereafter you will never take a fall (i.e. sin again). "Devotee never falls", because even God cannot change a devotee's assurance. Devotion is God's weakness.Meera Das

Ram Ram

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New QuestionHari OmWe often wonder whether the error should be confessed/revealed. On the surface, it appears that it is another error to confess error - sound reasons can be cited in support. All hell breaks loose, when one confesses an error. Invariably ! There is "world" waiting for this with a sword in hand, and there is "nature" of individual soul forcing it. But "confession" is the hallmark of a pure soul. All religions advocate acceptance of an error as error. In Christianity the confession is said to be ultimate cleaner of the dust over the soul. Seeing an error as distinct from you is undoubtedly an essential process for its eradication. I think the line is very thin and there must be certain subtle principles governing the choices. There is one thing known as "wisdom" too ! There is discord always between the views of caring/affectionate elders ( say parents) and the views of one who erred. Can there be a possibility of correcting without confessing? Is "resolving not to repeat but keeping mum"not an ideal alternative? Then indeed there is a beautiful and never failing Law of Nature - "Both sins and virtues multiply when concealed." Then there is need for withdrawing yourself from error. Then there is an element known as "conscience" ( antaratma). And of course.... The Beloved.What are views of Divine Sadhaks on this? Wisdom vs Conscience ! Punishment vs Acquittal ! Jagat vs Jeeva ! Mother Nature vs Father Paramatma ! Law of Karma vs Law stated above of concealing the sin/virtue !! "Non repetition" vs "Confession" !!!Jai Shree KrishnaVyas N B ------------------------

Dear Sadaks,This posting is NOT for "R" but in general."To err is human", please think deeply. Does it not look like excuse.? Does it not look like, "After all human can err"? Do sadaks know what is humanism? The person who betrayed also takes it as "To err is human" when he feels having betrayed "R". All sadaks do know that err in the eyes of GOD does not get excused for the one betrayer. Sadaks do you know that Bagavan looks is called in sanskrit "Alukdruk" which means NO ONE escapes sinful act as that committed by the betrayer. "R" is clear out of that looks, because of prayachit. Besides if one thinks carelessly about err, then in the mind one is sowing seed unknowingly about next err. It is easy to say "Forget", but it is very difficult, you all sadaks know, because of impressions deeply laid in mind. (Ref: Vivekachudami) Anything, even parents, whom we lay impressions in mind do disturb us when they die. But Bagavan has tought Yudhava in Yudhava Geetha that how to drop attachments. Besides Bagavan has said in Geetha that to live among everyone, but surrender only to HIM. But we surrender to our emotions Etc but NOT to Bagavan. The best example is Adi Sankara. When he was 5 years old, his father died. When everyone was crying, he remained undisturbed, because he had gyan and was above human level. We all know we have come across so many parents, sisters, brothers friends and Foes in many births, but very little knowledge about not being attached to all around. From the posting, I can see the attachment sadaks having to console "R". "R" has done and that is the end. Let go thoughts and feelings. When Abimanyu died, Sri Krishna said to crying Yuthara, it has happened, let go, stop crying. Hard to follow but easy if one has only love on Sri Krishna.Sri Vyasji, "One incidence/sin does not take away infinite glory of human life." is wrong Sir for Sadaks. (Not for "R"). One incident of Viswamitra with Menaka has removed years of penance. That too it was in rightful way. But Sastras regrets for Sadaks. As said by Sant Meera Doosra Koyi Nayhi. Here Doosra was Menaka. Sri Rama sent arrow on Vaali and killed Vaali for rightful purpose. But Vaali had to come to take back to earth as "Jaara" (HUNTER) who sent arrow on Sri Krishna` s toe and thus ended Sri Krishna Avathar. Cause and effect is Prarabtha Karma. This earth is Karma Boomi. Having come here is only to clear our sins of past. So one has to be very careful to excuse saying Err.One more thing Sadaks: If some one has lost huge amount in share market and sitting very distressed, then imagine you walk in with Bagavath Geetha, he will simple disregard you. He need to recover all by himself from loss. Then Geetha will work.Jai Sri KrishnaB.Sathyanarayan

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PRIOR POSTING

Hari OmTo err is human. Not to repeat error is divine. You indeed sinned. But you repented and paid/are paying the penalty thereof by earning displeasure of your parents, ill fame and losing some 'dear' ones. You are 'quits' now. Both the sin and its consequences are over.Now you only have to conquer your own mind. Fresh thoughts of suicide, guilt, apprehensions, fear, remorse, loss and hopelessness are simply your new stupidities. You must renounce them. You must rise above them. You must look up and see the life as a fresh beginning.But the fact is also that you were pure hearted soul. That quality of 'not cheating' any one; of repentance/regret over an error, of honesty, of transparency is far superior than any other thing. Your fiance is not worth regretting about. Forget about him for ever. Worry about your parents and seek their forgiveness. They will surely understand. Let the life take its own course without fiance or his surroundings. Take care of your parents. Dont carry any further desires about future - negative or positive. No apprehensions, no anxieties, no fears. Turn towards Paramatma. See how little human life changes with one incident, one error or one gesture. Consider human life to be a place where there are likings and dislikings waiting to be conquered. Consider that you are not alone with a situation like this. Consider that each soul is sufferring with one thing or other. The world is 'Dukhalayam' ! Consider that in the present circumstances and situations your ultimate betterment is hidden.Consider hundreds of alternatives which are open to you inspite of what you narrated. Live the life as it comes. Concentrate fearlessly on your DUTIES !! Forget the past. What else past or present is except a dream? What can you gain or lose in a dream ? Hey Little Divine Girl ! Cheer up ! Laugh the past out.

Simply 1. Dont worry (Ma Suchah) 2. Serve your parents and endeavour to please them 3 Leave your desires for 'x' or 'y' situation/circumstance 4. Turn towards God 5 Start laughing/giggling and give a fresh look to life as it is existing NOW- without worry, remorse, guilt, and with EQUANIMITY ! 6 Leave the company of those who look at you with sarcasm- remember every human sins, many sin repeatedly; rather almost all are sinning continuously; hence dont bother about surroundings or loose talkers even a bit - you should damn care. You are fully justified in completely ignoring them. 7 Learn through Satsanga / Scriptures/ Good Company (Forums like this GT Group) as to what is human life; why it is; what is duty and what you should henceforth really do/get/know now that by God's grace you have got human life. 8 Be cheerful ; remain cheerful . Dont worry. You are daughter of the King of all Kings- Paramatma. Love being that. Enjoy being that. Rejoice being that.9 When in sad mood, pray to God. Keep always yourself surrounded by holy thoughts, holy actions, holy attitude, holy books and holy people. Never Never worry. Do your duties diligently.

DONT WORRY. DONT WORRY. DONT WORRY - MA SUCHAH ! Give a fresh glance to SELF !Respect human life.It is more rare than anything else. You have got it. Hence become happy by this thought and look ahead. One incidence/sin does not take away infinite glory of human life. Jai Shree KrishnaVyas N B

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Surrender to God and ask for strength to go through the suffering. More yousurrender, more strength you will get and one day you will come out of yourdilema with the strength of your surrender and the consequent Grace of God.There should be no thinking how the Grace will come, when it will come etc. Justhave Faith in surrender and His Grace and it will produce a miracle which inreality is not.Jayantilal Shah

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Jai Shree Krishna

 

Who has not commited an error? I am yet to see a faultless guy on this earth. I remember our Revered Swamiji once told in a pravachan: I have not sinned for last 30/40 years ...Sure...but I cannot say that during this life I have never sinned. Everybody sometime or other sins. You also fell prey to it. But you were courageous enough to reveal that. REMEMBER : Law is that BOTH SINS AND VIRTUES INCREASE WHEN THEY ARE CONCEALED. By admitting you have not only stopped the tendency of sin to increase but have also exposed yourself to quick consequence. So you got the result also fast. It is over and all now. A thing of past.

 

Forget about the fiancee. He is not a soul befitting your purity. He is not a lesser sinner nor was that married man. In every adversity there is pleasure hidden. In every pleasure there is sorrow hidden. That is how the life is. Now PLEASE dont pay attention to your past sins. PLEASE dont think about the incident. PLEASE ignore all the people or the talks which fiancee is making before his relatives regarding you. They are not worth thinking about. They are not worth pleading to. They are not worth desiring for.THINK AHEAD. There is entire human life lying open before you. You cant afford to pause or look back with shame, guilt and remorse. TURN TOWARDS GOD. Make use of the present adverse situation/circumstances by resolving not to 1. Repeat the error 2. Desire for favourable circumstances. If you have to do one thing on priority.....that is TAKE CARE OF YOUR PARENTS. Do your duty as the future unfolds before you. Leave the very desire that he or someone else should forgive you or accept you. Leave it ! Fearlessly leave it. Life does not end with single happenning. TURN TOWARDS GOD. Adversity has been given to you so that you may change your course. JUST LEAVE THE DESIRE FOR FAVOURABLE CIRCUMSTANCES. The favourable circumstances then will fall at your feet....begging to get a glance from you. REMEMBER: You are as pious, as pure, and as faultless as you were before that incident with married man or before your confession to your fiancee. NOTHING NOTHING HAS CHANGED....only you have become more solid to face the viccissitudes of human life. The very fact that you have turned towards this Divine Satsanga Forum proves that God is with you with His full might. Rejoice....Be happy....Love being in company of SAT and fall at the pious feet of God and your parents...fearlessly, remorselessly, worrylessly and with full of vigour and enthusiasm.

 

Swami Rupesh Kumar

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Narain ! Narain !!

 

Nothing has happened in your life Dear R ! What is so big about making an error? These marital relations in a life of a bachelor girl keep changing. You marry ultimately only that guy with whom you are destined to marry. What is so big about it ? Sooner or later you will find a m,atch. Just remove yourself out of present surroundings and serve your parents fearlessly. Look at God in case of need and at no body else. You made a mistake and you got remorseful of the same. Now that you have got results also ....move ahead. Sin is no more there. Only you have to forget about it. Narain ! Narain !!

 

Dont think anymore about that fiancee or about that married man. They are manipulators. They are not worth being your spouse or being in your pious mind. You are miles ahead of them in purity. Dont waste your time by constantly regretting about the past. Sure the biggest error was to inflict a hurt on your parents. Take care of them with renewed vigour and vitality. They will forgive you. Look at God. Keep contributing to this Satsanga Forum. Live as life comes at you. Be fearless about the future. Be ignorant about the past. Be Dutiful at present. Enough. Everybody is burning in this world with sorrow. Only those who have turned towards God are few exceptions. They also face adversity but for them there is pleasure visible inside adversity. BE BOLD. FACE THIS WORLD WITH CONVICTION, COURAGE AND CONFIDENCE. Simply DONOT BE SAD. Simply DONOT WORRY.

 

Narain ! Narain !!

 

Naarad Maharishi

 

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aha !!

 

 

aum !!!!

 

 

beautiful,

 

beautiful, blissful, ........ bliss and beauty ......

 

the words that have flowed from naga narayan jee ................

 

ah, dear R ............

 

read them joyfully............

 

read them again and again, yet again...........

 

till each word sinks into your being, shattering your Mind ( concepts and conditionings )....

 

 

Blessings from nari and narinder ............

AUM

Narinder

----PRIOR POSTING

Mistakes … Forgiveness … Peace of Mind … Dhamma … Dilemma …Dharma is trifold – personal (Jaata), social (samaaja) and eternal (Sanaatana).Personal dharma is developed based on the complete freedom provided by thenature within. I like white is purely my choice. If I like black, that too. Thepersonal likes and dislikes are just personal. Nobody can change except oneself.Trying to change somebody else's personal opnions is wrong since it does moreharm than good, almost always. Therefore, what your fiance thinks is neverauthored by you – you neither are responsible for it nor do you have anyauthority over it. But what you think is definitely your authorship – you areresponsible and you have full authority. You had a choice either to hide thetruth or to tell. By telling you have invited social wrath from around … by nottelling you would have triggered a personal wrath from within. In my opinion,the wrath from within is a bigger danger than its social nemesis though thelater cannot be trivialized in manner.Social dharma can never work on the framework of personal freedom. It evolvesperpetually based on power-centric popular consensus that builds and nurtues thesoceity. Therefore, expecting social forgiveness on any act violating the verysocial foundation is mythical. That defies the very definition of a soceity. Onthe other hand, one has the responsibility and duty to conform to the socialnorms for one's own benefit as well as the others' benefits in large. Allreligion and law try to do is to protect and nurture the accepted social valuesand thwart any threat to the same. One tries to work with the popoulations'desires and aspirations to be happy and the other brings in the fear factor tomaintain order in the same. Irrespectively, the population will insist on itsvalues as any deviation looks like an imbalance in its perceived socialequilibrium. The only way to go against the social norms is either to nurturethe personal strength to withstand and even obliviate the social wrath fromwithin and/or to develop social influence to change the social values as such.You have to look for either or both to help yourself to resolve the conflictraised between you (person) and the soceity (your relations).The Sanaatana Dharma transcends the very concept of freedom as THAT IS THEFREEDOM where there are no choices to make in the first place. Milk being milkcannot be forced to be anything else by any force in the universe. Fire burningthe paper cannot be reverted to wetting the paper by any force in this universe.So are YOU. The more you see YOU the stronger you will become to face all thepersonal and social adversities. Because, all the personal and socialpreferences and expectations (bondage in other words) are developed ONLY DUE TOONE REASON – you (the ever changing) not being YOU (the never changing) even fora moment carried away by the frenzy of the so called life. My sincere suggestionto you is to PAUSE and have a sincere look within introspectively as well asretrospectively.Kritam Smara … recall what was done … what REALLY was done … was anything doneat all? …Krato Smara … recall who did … who REALLY did … could anybody do anything atall? …The more you contemplate on the doing as well as the doer from the apparentsuperficial perspective of what you are for the soceity toward what you are foryourself … transcending the soceity as well as you to WHAT YOU REALLY ARE … youwill have the MOKSHA from your dilemmas. This solution is sure to work acrossall the dilemmas; because, THE TRUTH – that YOU ARE and EVRYTHING IS –transcends all dilemmas categorically.Kindly, gather synergy of all your existence from within and help yourselftoward relief from the grief that is certainly beyond one's imagination.Deep Respects.Naga Narayana.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear R….

Whom are you asking to forgive? Krishna says that it is He whom you are accountable to. If you are true to your heart (and Him), do not consider anyone else important. If a person (your fiancée) can not understand you and your true love, he is not worth it. You will find better person and it will be very soon. You leave it to Him and be calm. Believe in Him, surrender to Him and you will be like Him- calm and at peace.

Jai pal

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Dear R..... My respects to you, all glories to the Lord in the Heart who is guiding allof us. You are certainly suffering a lot....there is a point in life where we haveto ask, "how long will this go on?" But to go beyond the feeling that your lifeis useless is very important....there are so many things that you can findhappines in to take the focus away from him. Get out of the house and startfinding some volunteer activities, or a yoga group, or different church group.Ulitimately, if we turn to anyone except the Supreme Lord, we are only hurtingourselves.....He is our dearmost friend, guide, lover, etc. Would He reject youor I because we committed what some consider to be a mistake? According to adifferent system of belief, you have done no wrong. No, He wouldn't rejectyou, because He knows you are eternally to be loved and cared for. He willnever stop feeling affection and love for you. You CAN pick yourself up, andhave dignity, self-respect, and honor, if you go beyond the dharmas of thisworld, and remember to the think of the Lord at every moment. This is our true dharma....it surpasses allelse.Sincerely, Maha Laksmi Dasi

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Learn from the past......Plan for the future.......but Live in the present.......

 

We all make mistakes as per our understanding of life at the time.....but as we mature....our understanding becomes better.....we need to learn and move on........guilt feeling should be left in the past.....guilt is a thought, replace it with I am the best now....wiser after learning from past.....

 

with a new understanding....new life has to be experienced in the present.......a happy, joyful, present full of wisdom/understanding of rules of life, knowing your true self.....and that in turn will build a bright future......

 

In short, be very positive. Worst will be over as soon as you change your thoughts....count the good points you have in life.....and move on......live in present....happily....a good future awaits you.....

 

We all have the power, all alone, to turn the worst into the best........try it......take it as a challenge....

Best wishes

Sushil Jain

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Dear All,

 

A person committing an error in ignorance and realising the fault and wows not to even think of such a mistake becomes pure in heart.

 

Everyone has rightly advised.

 

Boldness in revelation is the first step of righteousness.

 

Past life is immaterial when you decide how to live in future.

 

We wish the lady a peaceful, prosperous and happy life.

 

Ramesh Babu Think Good and Do Good, No harm ever will come to you; Good Human being is the perenial need of this World.

V.Ramesh Babu

 

 

 

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PRIOR POSTING

|| Shree Paramatmane Namah ||

This human life given by God, is more valuable then any incident in this world. If out of ignorance some mistake has been committed, and considering it to be a mistake, if you have made a firm commitment to never again make this mistake, then this mistake does not remain. On telling your mistake, your fiance has decided to sever all relations with you, this was a good thing right now, else if this had happened after marriage, what would happen? Pay attention to this point. One must grieve only for that which is improbable or impossible, the impossible does not happen, what can happen, that happens. "shauk useekaa kijiye, jo anhoni hoi; anhoni hoti nahin, honi hai so hoye." (Sadhak Sanjivani - hindi pg 80). Swamiji has a flawless mantra that always works "Karne mein Saavdhaan, Hone mein Prasanna". "In doing one must be careful, in the outcome one must remain happy." Further ahead, you have a long life in front of you. Forget the ghosts of the past and not getting swept away by worries of the future, simply live the present well. God is very compassionate. So be it...

Sarvottam.

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-Shree Hari-Dear R,Peace be with you!Straight off the top:Bhagavad Gita 9:30:-Even if the vilest sinner worships Me with exclusive devotion, he should beconsidered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be My Devotee.(This is NOT to infer you are by a long chalk a vile sinner, you let yourpassions take control, you made a MISTAKE).If Bhagwan welcomes sinners to his heart, what right has any to judge?Do not judge yourself as unworthy! Turn to 'The Beloved'. In a way by writing tothis 'Divine Forum', you have started to seek Sri Krishna!When an adulteress was brought before Jesus, in reply to questions by the 'mob',he said the punishment by the "Law", is she should be stoned, he then said lethe who is without sin cast the first stone!The only one eligible was Jesus! But he being Divine had only love in his heart.Killing oneself is stacking up more tribulation to be dealt with, in a futurelife.There is a light shining you know, like a Divine Lighthouse, fix your gaze uponthat, genuine repentance, guaranties, Divine forgiveness!!Om Shanti...Mike. (K)

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Dear R

 

Be happy and thank God that saves you from such persons.

 

When you do not want to carry the burden of mistakes in past, it is a sign of your pure heart.

 

Your fiance is unfortunate in rejecting you and you are fortunate that such nature of your fiance has come out in open before marriage.What would have happened if this was revealed after marriage.How you will lead life

with unforgiving and narrow minded person. This also shows the nature of blowing something out of proportion.

 

So,dear R,it is your choice to be happy or unhappy,to say glass is half empty or half full .

 

And do not forget to start daily study of Gita.The regular study of Gita only will enable you to see

the positive side instead of negative.

 

And be fearless ,God recognises ,appreciates and rewards purity in heart.

 

Ashok Jain

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Dear Ones Namaste!

Dear R...

Please dismiss all ideas about killing, depression etc at once! That is the first thing to do now. They are ideas only now and can be arrested at this level, believe me!

 

If you sincerely repent what had happended in the past, I know you do, then, stop worrying about the world, parents, fiance. Just have no bad feelings for anyone anymore for what happened to you. You take responsibility and you will figure out from the seeming problem.

Look to God, whatever is your understanding of Him is!

God is the greatest forgiver! Trust Him fully, whole hearted!

Nothing can undo whatever has been done. You tried to work out with your fiance, but he doesn't want to marry you. So, bless him and move on. Life doesn't end here.

Next pray to God so hard, many times a day and whenever you can. Ask His help by telling Him that you cannot continue in this agony by yourself alone and He has to interevene now. You may want to write down your weakness on piece of paper and then ask His help in your own words as best as you can. Keep this paper at His feet if you have Murti of you God. Then relax and go on about doing your job as you would normally do.

Spend time with friends, satsangees, if possible. In short be God driven.

Remain open and ready to meet with potential relationship prospects as God may bring you another nice one. But be careful not to have expectations!

You should give this a fair try, and see how God helps those who seek Him!

Namaskar....Pratap Bhatt

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Hare KrishnaI believe there are a few teachings of Sri Hari, Hamare Sri Krishnaji that could be applied in your case!But first, have no doubt.If I was in your situation, I would feel its good that this happened. You got the fruits of your wrong deed (in whatever proportion) so soon. In this birth itself. And, after understanding your situation, if your fiance is still not able to forgive you, feel lucky that it was Krishna's blessings that the marriage got broke. If all this would have happened after the marriage, it would have been much more heart-shattering. Now you are free of this bond because, as it is evident now, it wasnt meant for you.And, have full faith in Krishna. Remember - Whatever happens, happens for good. So, in this is also there is something good He has in store for you, apart from the fact that you were able to cut some of your past bad-Karma right now.And if you surrender yourself to Krishna, you will get comfort automatically. I would also highly recommend listening to Srimad Bhagavat Katha if you could. And, as it is, rather than asking here, just try to get your answers directly from GITAji. You will definitely get your answers!As for parents, dont have much options but to bow to their feet and ask for their forgiveness. They will!! Parents always do. And, then, time is the best healer. And, then...remember, all relationships form a bondage!! True relationship will be only with Parmatma!Hari Bol...Narayan Hari...-Pankaj Verma -------------------------------

All mistakes you are talking about are mistakes recognized as mistake afterwards. And, therefore if the first mistake was to get into some relation with a married man, the second was to tell this to your fiance, third mistake would be to think that your life is not worth living because of the embarrassment to your parents and the loss of the fiance.

Each mistake leades to suffering unless you convince your mind that there is nothing that you need to and can do about things/ events that have alreadt taken place, except not to repeat the same behavior under similar circumstances. The only option is to reduce the amount of time and energy that thoughts concerning these past events are taking away from your mind now close to less than a minute on any day.

You must continue to live happily despite the past events. Time will heal the embarrassment caused to the Parents - may be it will take long time, But if you find another man who would really support you irrespective of your past or you can continue to remain single with lot of work that you enjoy, your Parents and family will forget what happened rgis time very soon. Leave it your last fiance to sort out his problem: he may also be suffering from the same incident of cancelling the marriage. He may soon consider what he has done by cancelling marriage as mistake and come back to you. He may not come back in which case it would prove to you that you had not chosen the right fiance to marry. And, a mistake has been corrected unwittingly by your own folly of sharing some past event with that fiance. Not all fiances can tolerate past relationship of their partners - it is better for them not to know about the past of their partners after having chosen a partner. Mistakes can happen by any one.

So, change your approach from past mistake oriented thoughts to building a future for yourself in different ways than you had been thinking so far. Think that what has happened is God's will for the better of some one or the other. Accept it and move ahead with hope and optimism that God is preparing yourself to deal with greater challanges ahead. Know that your life is not any more dependent on those past events: your life depend on what happens in future.

 

Basudeb Sen

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Dear sadak,What "R" did is SIN. Bodily engaging before marriage is not permitted by sastras. But the same sastras says, self realization is prayachit. "R" has done wonderful thing by being frank, which erases sinful act and became pavitra (Clean)1) Trust in Bagavan and love HIM to utmost.You get released and liberated. 2) Just marry someone who will LOVE you for your goodness and who will forget your sins of body and love you as a good human. Further help I can do.B.Sathyanarayan---

Hi R, Calm down. Do not kill yourself. If you kill yourself, you will be doing the same thing over and over again six times more (Atma-Hatya). This is a natural law of the universe. Hence, do not kill your-self. The mistake you did that 'you allowed...'. The mistake had happened. Now on (on wards), do not allow any one to touch you..... People are taking the advantages of your mistake done in the past. Stay unmarried and self-sufficient, support yourself. You would be more happy all the time. People have been spending their life in miserable, but are not teling the truth. Pray to the GOD, whichever you believe. He is the only one to support you, protect you, and save you all the time. Jashwant Shah

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Forgiveness is divine, dear R...........the seeking of forgiveness.. and forgiving the other ...........

 

But..............

 

we have lost our divinity........... our true being stands eclipsed ..........

 

what transpired between you and the married man............. though a lapse, ..............is happenning daily today ............the march of time , ah ! .............narinder shall not go into the moral aspect of it ............ morality keeps changing ............ different people hold different views .........

 

personally , I feel ...........it is not right, yes............ but , once a mistake is realised ............. and dropped ................. one has learnt from the experience ........... one must , then, learn to forgive oneself first ( having asked God 's forgiveness for the lapse ) .............

 

in life, there are no rehearsals.............. things happen................. each person has to be willing to learn from Life .............. mistake is a mistake , only if it gets repeated ............ if we donot learn from it ....................

 

'right' and 'wrong' , are mind's concepts .................. the mind itself is deluded , because of the march of time ... what should one do ?

 

narinder has found Joy and solace............ in going to the source of the mind .............to God residing in the cavity of your own heart......... to really know and transcend the game of concepts and conditionings that the mind keeps playing .......

 

narinder has sought refuge in the voice of Dharma..... the Unchanging behind the ever changing concepts ..................

 

the Guru and the scriptures have brought peacefulness to the heart ........... also wisdom and strength .... to walk the Path...............

 

while R seeks to walk the great Path that is called ' liberation from fear , pain and delusion' ,

may narinder suggest .............. in this particular situation, forgive yourself ............ no great sin have you committed .............. what happened , happened ................

 

and asto your fiancee................. if he is Not forgiving...................... he is Not worth having a marriage relationship with ..... forget him...............

 

seek refuge at Krishna's feet ................. He it is , who shall come again to you as your fiancee again.... someone , who , too , seeks a mate , to walk the Path of Realisation of the Self with you ...............

 

the goal of Life is self realisation or God realisation ( same thing) ............. and the aim of a marriage true ... is the same ...... to help both imdividuals to realise their ultimate potential , now that the basic needs of love, sex, and companionship have been met .......

 

do not despair ................. ask Krishna to be your guide ............... and seek to learn from the Bhagvada Geetha , the way to the self ..................

 

do NOT despair .....let the scriptures be the guide to what your conduct shall be in the world .... pray to God to for strength and wisdom .............. if the prayer is sincere and true ....... the Lord shall show you the Way ..................... He himself comes as the guide ...

 

AUM

 

narinder bhandari

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Dear Madam,For every mistake there is forgiveness. If your fiance is unable to forgiveyour mistake But i tell you God will forgive your mistake if you confess yourmistake without hide anything. I am sure that God knows everything, everydealings of our life. Tell your fiance that, if you are not able to my mistakeeven though i told about my past life with you without hide. God will not forgetyour mistake.According to Bible Jesus said that we must love one another & forgive oneanother. I also had same like your problem . I told my husband only after ourengagements. He agreed with me but some he used to ask me often about my past.But after i gave birth to a child I faced many problems with my Husband>Gradually i told about Love of Christ Jesus & His forgivess to this mankind. Sowe are nothing when we comapred to GOd who forgave our sins, trespass. I askedGod to forgive my sins before my engaement with tears i prayed God for myfuture. Initially i thought to Hide every my past to my Husband But i couldnotso, I told step by step my past even though He showed me Love but later He usedto speak about my past.But now I am leading a Very Happy married life almost 3 years over. i hope whodelivered me from this problem the Same God will deliver you and He will blessyou & your future.I hope you console of this reply,thanksGracy

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GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that theyfurther help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be as concise, to the point, respecting sadhaka's time.5. Focus on subject at hand only.6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may modifythe posting.8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.MODERATORRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

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Dear Sir,Four Months back my marriage got settled, but last month my

fiancee hascancelled marriage based on my past mistakes in life.I am 28

yrs now. I got attracted to a married man 5 yrs back. In

certainsituation i allowed him to touch me. But i realized it soon that

it is amistake. Since then till now i didnt even meet him once. i stayed

away from him.I shared this with my fiance, the guilt of my mistakes

haunted me, i didntwanted to cheat him by hiding my relations. To tell

you we both had physicalrelations in past life. But he says relation

with a married man he is not ableto tolerate. I asked him forgiveness

and pleaded him a lot that i did that inignorance, i never gave a

thought on the consequences when i did that mistake.Ireally got carried

away with his liking towards me.My fiancee considers it as a crime.I

realize my mistake is big. I am notsupporting my mistake but a mistake

done 5 yrs back in ignorance cannot beforgiven?We both have talked and

shared lot of things since 3 months. He knows everydetail of my life. He

showed lot of love on me since 3 months but now he says hecannot marry

me, he doesnt love me anymore. I love him and I am not able to stayaway

from him. I am feeling very restless and helpless.He told my parents and

his parents about my relations. I am feeling tremendousguilt and shame.

I am feeling like killing myself looking at my old parents whohad to

face all this becoz of me.My mistake cannot be forgiven? What shall i do

now? I feel directionless inlife. Please suggest.Thanks

Ramya

 

-------------------------

 

NEW POSTING

 

Dear Sister,

 

I would like to add something here very important from Swamiji's hearing

and

reading and subsequently my own realizations meditating on Swamiji's

teachings

over past few years:

 

1. If you are not reading or hearing Swamiji on a daily basis till now

many of

these talks will not male much sense in real life on a day to day basis

- yr

heart needs to change which in my case only changed after I read Swamiji

and

heard him for days constantly many a times till 2.00 in the night after

my

family was well asleep in silence - once u start doing that his words

will start

resonating in yr mind which is very important - till that does not

happen it is

very difficlut to come out of BHOG BHUDDI. Till date by God's grace I

make it a

point to read Swamiji evry day even it is fr a few minutes.

 

2.The major culprit is the BHOG BHUDDI. Even this morning I read about

bhog

bhuddi that who is ASURA - not the one who has got horns but the one who

has got

swarth - selfishness and bhog bhuddi.( read his book tatvic pravachan if

u can

find it - chapter Swabhav SUdhar ki Avashyakta). Thinking of bhog bhuddi

u also

need to meditate why the marriage not fr bhog but per Swamiji grhastha

jeevan is

Tyag - serving yr whole family - yr husband and kids not fr bhoga. So

the

attachment to yr fiancee is bhog bhuddi - infatuation in most cases

before

marriage which immediately goes away after marriage at least in my case.

If u will be able to remove this bhog bhuddi u will hv much smoother

married

life too as u will hv very low expectations fm yr husband - only serving

attitude.

 

3. The most important meditation every day is that wahtever is happening

in our

life is happening fr our good as we don't know the bigger picture - what

is

coming forth in future fr us as mentioned by so many sadhakas.

 

4.If we do not follow shashtras for any of the simple guidlines like

gambling,

illicit relationship we definitely hv to suffer - but we hv to learn fm

it and

move on like I lost big time in shares which is nothing but gambling but

never

realized till I suffered and now I hv alesson fr rest of my life.

 

5. Swamiji says never repent but learn fm mistakes and never repeat in

future.

 

One thing more Swamiji says is that BANDHAN AVICHAR se hua hai which my

understanding is that we do not constantly meditate on the teachings and

dig in

fr self realization we will keep suffereing again and again fr the same

mistakes

as it is very difficult to come out of bhog bhuddi.

 

Your servant

 

Rajeev Gupta

 

-

 

Hari Om

 

Since it is an important topic, I must reply to Sri Sathyanarainji on

the Qs he raised on my response to " Ramya " -

 

Q This posting is NOT for " Ramya " but in general.

 

A Why Sir? Does the truth change thereby ? Certainly what we should

advice " R " and what is truth must not differ.

 

Q " To err is human " , please think deeply.Q Does it not look like

excuse.? Does it not look like, " After all human can err " ?

 

A What is there to think deeply about it ? Is it not a statement of fact

? Are there any exceptions to it, including you ? Let us discuss names

of those humans, who have not erred! How it can look like an excuse when

it has NO EXCEPTIONS across the times/eras/ history? Yes ! It means all

humans make errors !

 

Q Do sadaks know what is humanism?

 

A Do you know that, Sir? Kindly enlighten us ! By the way, Sir, what is

humanism?

 

Q The person who betrayed also takes it as " To err is human " when he

feels having betrayed " R " .

 

A So what? How does that change the validity of statement : To err is

human? If X says A, Y says B ... How does that change the Truth ?

 

Q All sadaks do know that err in the eyes of GOD does not get excused

for the one betrayer. Sadaks do you know that Bagavan looks is called in

sanskrit " Alukdruk " which means NO ONE escapes sinful act as that

committed by the betrayer.

 

A I havent understood , honestly, " Alukdruk " ! Sure , no one escapes

sinful act ! But when one confesses, accepts error, falls at the feet of

God, resolves not to repeat it... he/she gets pious / dharmatma at THAT

VERY MOMENT of RESOLUTION ! Thereafter she/he cannot fall. Where is then

worry for consequences? Read BG 9:30/31, So correctly quoted , inter

alia, by Miraji Dass/ Mike Keenor !

 

Q " R " is clear out of that looks, because of prayachit.

 

A No ! She gets cleared when she resolves not to repeat. Still she took/

is taking the consequences. She gets cleared from " sin " when she

resolves not to repeat and from " consequences of sin " when she has

suffered the same/ paid penalty for the same.

 

Q Besides if one thinks carelessly about err, then in the mind one is

sowing seed unknowingly about next err.

 

A But not when one decides not to repeat. Where is carelessness hidden

in that case?

 

Q It is easy to say " Forget " , but it is very difficult, you all sadaks

know, because of impressions deeply laid in mind. (Ref: Vivekachudami)

 

A Had that been the case, BG 9:30/31 would have been conditional ! What

do you suggest as an alternative? Keep remembering?

 

Q Anything, even parents, whom we lay impressions in mind do disturb us

when they die.

 

A But Sir , death of parent did not cause any sorrow to Sage Narada /

Adi Shankara , they rejoiced, felt relieved !! Why, Sir ? How it is

relevant?

 

Q But we surrender to our emotions Etc but NOT to Bagavan.

 

A Who is talking here of surrendering to emotions and not Bagavan ? Who

according to you has surendered to emotions and not Bagavan? How did you

measure that?

 

Q From the posting, I can see the attachment sadaks having to console

" R " . " R " has done and that is the end.

 

A That is what every sadhak including yours truly is stating! Where is

deviation, Sir ? Do you think that verses like 9:30/31 are merely

consolation ? What according to you is beyond that?

 

Q Let go thoughts and feelings. When Abimanyu died, Sri Krishna said to

crying Yuthara, it has happened, let go, stop crying.

 

A In other words- To err is human. In still other words- Karane main

raho saavdhan, hone main raho prasanna ( Be careful in doing, be happy

in happenning). Q by me - " To err is not human or is human " ? What else

anybody after happening of an event say? Was Lord Krishna wrong?

 

Q Sri Vyasji, " One incidence/sin does not take away infinite glory of

human life. " is wrong Sir for Sadaks. (Not for " R " ).

One incident of Viswamitra with Menaka has removed years of penance.

 

A. Sri Sathyanarainji ! Is Gita written for " R " or for all sadhaks or

for entire humanity ? Is BG 9:30/31 wrong ? How Vishvamitra's penances

got wasted? Is Vishvamitra known in this world as " sinner " or " saint " ?

If as " Saint " then what is wrong in stating to " R " that forget about it,

you are " Amal " . ( Faultless/sinless) ? ..., just dont repeat it ? If

Sages like Vishvamitra/Narada/ Sati can err, what poor " R " has done ?

Does it not establish the fact that - TO ERR IS HUMAN? They fell at the

feet of God, got the punishment, and moved ahead !! But How I am wrong

in my statement, Hon'ble Sir that one sin doesnt snatch away glory of

whole human life ?

 

Q But Sastras regrets for Sadaks.

 

A Sastras dont regret about sinners or sadhaks. They state how the

sinner most of all sinners can realise God and become Dharmatma in a

fraction of a second, Sir !! But how I am wrong, My Lord, in my

statement that one sin doesnt snatch away glory of whole human life ?

 

Q Cause and effect is Prarabtha Karma. This earth is Karma Boomi.

 

A Who has denied that ? Who says that it is " Akarma Bhoomi " ( Except of

course Lord Krishna in Gitaji ) ? But " Only cause and effect " , Sir ! Not

" sorrows/ pleasures arising out of them " ! How whole human life gets

spoilt because of that ? Sorrows/pleasures arise out of STUPIDITY of

Jeeva !

 

Q Having come here is only to clear our sins of past. So one has to be

very careful to excuse saying Err.

 

A What is your explanation once you have erred? Why do you say one has

come here to only clear sins of past ? Are you not capable of incurring

fresh sins? Can you not come here to reap benefits of past " virtues "

also ?

 

Q One more thing Sadaks: If some one has lost huge amount in share

market and sitting very distressed, then imagine you walk in with

Bagavath Geetha, he will simple disregard you. He need to recover all by

himself from loss. Then Geetha will work.

 

A You mean to say that if somebody has lost in stock markets, the

teachings of BG become inapplicable to him? Where it has been written,

that one who loses in stock markets cant benefit from Gita till he

recovers himself from his losses ? Pls elaborate !! Pls dont restrict

the very applicability of Bhagvad Geetha that cruelly/ ruthlessly/

arbitrarily , Sir !! Say fearlessly/categorically Sir that BG is meant

for all - be they are sinners , non sinners, semi sinners,losers,

gainers, sadhaks, non sadhaks ... And so on !!

 

But, Sir, please let this poor soul, yours truly, Vyas NB know as to how

he was wrong in 2 statements he made.

 

Jai Shree Krishna

 

Vyas N B

 

 

------\

----

 

Dear Ryou are not in love with this person but you are in love with the

idea of being in love.can you love a man who cannot forgive someone for

something one truly feels remorseful and that too 5 years ago? is he

worth your emotions? how petty of him ot have told his parents and

yours-what you told him would have stayed just between the two of you

,if he was a gentleman.he had no right to proclaim your guilt to the

world-he could refuse to marry you which is a big favour to you int eh

long run but he had no right to disclose what you told him in

confidence.i suggest you think over it longer and longer and you will

see with every passing day,he will become smaller and smaller in your

eyes and one day,he will disappear from your emotions-then you will be

ready for another man-i urge you not to tell anyone else about your

relationship in the past-the past is over and it was your past-no one

has a right to it-you would be cheating only if you repeated it again

aft engagement or marriage so dotn feel guilty-everytime you start

thinking about this person,i suggest you keep chanting hare rama,hare

rama rama rama hare hare,hare krishn ahare krishna krishna krishna hare

hare-this will help to uproot all undesirable thoughts adn fill you with

good vibrations.please dotn think of killing yourself-that will be the

hardest blow on your parents-im sure they ahve forgiven you and you can

move on-make sure you chant the mantra atleast 108 times a day and very

soon,all this will be behind you-i pray that you meet an understanding

gentlman who will appreciate your senstivities and you both will be

happy with each otherramaa

 

PRIOR POSTING

 

-Shree Hari-

 

Namaste!

 

Brother Vyas has brought up some interesting points. Even though I had

looked

inwards for a response, I also referred to Sadhaka-Sanjivani. I picked

up on a

simple line by Swamiji when commenting Bhagavadgita 4:38 page 563 :-

How can an impure thing suppress the pure thing? (My reflections upon

B.G. 4:38,

was triggered by Ramyaji's response to Sadhaks replies to her original

question).

That simple line, has a global/universal truth within it.

Truth is virtuous, lies are sinful, so to tell the truth is pure, like

a candle

that cannot be extinguished, darkness is destroyed by light, but light

cannot be

destroyed darkness. One can look at ignorance as darkness.

To hide sins and virtues will multiply them, absolutely!

If a Sadhak asked me, " Have you ever been drunk " , I would answer, " Yes,

many

many moons ago, I have long since given up booze, about 3 decades ago " .

Now the fact is, I am not hiding a sin by not talking about it, such a

thing is

not relevant, it is something I don't do. (If it became relevant, then I

answer

with honesty).

One can correct without confession, one can say that's enough of that!

And just

stop, and turn away. Mind you confession is a powerful tool it can help

one

resolve, especially for those who feel they lack strength, but with all

their

heart wish to break free from the grip of a sin.

Repentance is the thing! To me repentance is not regret, it is a

transcendence,

a step further up the ladder towards 'The Divine Beloved', the sin one

once

indulged in becomes abhorrent.

 

A quotable quote by Swamiji.

Now henceforth, I will not sin. This is real penance.

 

Om Shanti....

 

Mike (K).

 

-------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

Hari Om

 

Answers to Qs raised by R (Ramya) :

 

Q But are the norms of society different for men and women?

 

A Yes! They are different species. Though both are humans but Different

roles. Different duties. Different responsibilities. Different Dharma,

Different Genders ! Hence norms of Society are different for males and

females. Even Scriptures differentiate between the two, on many counts.

..

 

Q Why do we get deceived by people whom we trust and love?

 

A. Because this world has been designed (By God) in such a manner that

in the end there is deception only. It is not a place to enjoy/suffer-

it is an examination hall. The moment you desire for world/worldly

people/worldly things- sorrow is guaranteed- as a Law. Doing one's Duty

without expecting anything in return ONLY does not generate sorrow.

Another name of Duty is DHARMA.

 

Q Whom should we trust in life? No one except god can be trusted in

life.

 

A You have rightly answered yourself. But you can trust your parents

through " obedience " !

 

Q Please guide me how to surrender to lord?

 

A Say/Accept/Resolve with a simple heart - O Lord I surrender to you.

Believe that. Mean that. Thereupon - 1Become Fearless 2. Become

Griefless 3 Become Worryless 4 Become Doubtless . Dont think much reg

Surrender thereafter. Take life thereafter as it comes. Dont set any

yardsticks. Simply do your duties - as a female; as a daughter; as a

human; as a householder, as a sadhak, etc, etc.

 

Q What prayers I should do regularly?

 

A Whatever/however you like. But first: Accept firmly with a simple

child like heart: I am of God; Only God is mine; Nothing else is mine.

Mere to Girdhar Gopal , Doosaro Na Koi. Dont stress too much on prayers.

First " become " of God by above " firm acceptance " . Thereafter even your

doing a household duty becomes a prayer. But spare some time for regular

prayers also, if you can.

 

Q How do I wash my sins?

 

A By resolving not to repeat ! Dont consider yourself to be a sinner.

Dont accept existence of sin in you. Learn to forget. Learn to ignore.

Dont think about that which (sin) came in your life as a visitor and

went. No sin is permanent. It is already gone. You are unnecessarily

getting " attached " to it and are remembering it.

 

Q What is my dharma now?

 

A To obey and please your parents and to exactly do what they tell you

to do- fearlessly, doubtlessly ! Give top priority to this .

 

Q My mother told me to not to tell about my past to anyone from now, She

says past is past and we should learn from past and there is no need to

prove anyone about my remorse.

 

A An obedient child obeys. He/She never judges the wisdom of his/her

parents. Do as she says. Lord Rama said to Laxman the following when

Laxman opposed orders of Dashratha-

 

" I am not a thinker. I am an obeyer to my parents. "

 

It is your foremost Dharma to do as your parents tell you. Remember :

0bedience to parents ( till you are married) is a Dharma in itself,

superseding all other dharmas.

No harm can ever be caused to a child by obeying to parents- it is a

law/ dharma in itself

 

Q But if i dont tell my past to the person I will marry, it would not be

dharma. I dont want to lie in my life.

 

A But if you disobey your parents then it is a bigger 'adharma'. When

you obey, the responsibility of dharma/adharma and its consequences, the

onus of judgement etc everything shifts to your parents - as a law. You

always earn virtue (punya) when you obey irrespective of the correctness

of orders given to you. You cease to be responsible. If they say jump

into ocean: Jump! Be obedient ! You are free from day 1 ! The glory of

" Surrender " lies in " obedience " !! Believe me on this. Question of lying

arises only when some body asks you Q ! Dont worry about that which does

not exist.

 

Q I cannot move freely if i lie. It haunts me. Please suggest me what is

my dharma now? Listening to my mother is dharma or telling about my past

before I marry the person is dharma?

 

A You have already done that confession. Any further confessions will

only mean that you continue to be " attached " to sin. Moreover a new sin

of disobedience to your mother will be added to it. Till you get

married, obey your parents fearlessly/doubtlessly. Do exactly as they

advice you to do. Dont Question ! There is nectar of all duties

concealed in " obedience to Parents/Guru " !!

 

Q I repent on my past and I will surely restrain myself from doing any

sins and any activity which violates my dharma in future. I will be

honest to my Atma and god. Do I have to tell and prove anyone else that

I will not do such things in future?

 

A No ! You need not any more tell about anything to anybody . Obey your

parents. Just resolve firmly not to repeat . Be honest to your Atma and

God ! That is more than enough.

 

Follow the deliberations on this thread closely. A lot of wisdom is on

your way. Read each response carefully. Ask Qs when in doubt. Keep in

touch.

 

Jai Shree Krishna

 

Vyas N B

 

------

 

 

Dear Sadak Ramya,

The law for woman and man are different due our own deeds of past. Say

to be a bird or worm in a dust bin is deeds of past says Geetha and

elaborately in Vivekachudamani. If you should trust someone there is

rules. Before marriage you could trust man only to the level of good

manners and not give yourself bodily. Bagavan knows a Baktha is capable

of withstanding HIS test. But still Bagavan does test. You could have

tested your person.

Many sastras say, that repentance (prayachit) is considered highest

virtue to become pure. You are absolutely pure, NO doubt. Like any dirt

on body that can be washed, your so called sin got washed away by your

repentance.

Bagavan in Geetha says that HE takes care of HIS Bakthas to place them

good surrounding, with good people, etc and does not allow bad ones to

come near HIS baktha. So just surrender to HIM and keep saying Hare

Krishna- Krishna Krishna Hare Hare.

B.Sathyanarayan

 

-------------------------

 

Shri Hari

Ram RamYou didnt wanted to cheat him by hiding your relations.I only can

say if he agree to visit with you for Ganga Bathing at Har ki podi

-Haridwar by saying that you will purify by Ganga. Secondly promise for

the future. God will help you.Pawan Kumar

Singhal-------------------------I did

not want to comment on this post earlier, but let me add a different

perspective. Ok, You were young when your first " love " or actually

" infatuation " happened. We are not here to decide if it was right or

wrong, or whether it is a sin. It is a normal human emotion.Many others

would have controlled such an impulse, and many more yield to such

temptations. What is more important is that there is a valuable lesson

that you learnt.If that married man, perhaps with children, had dumped

his wife, for you, the situation would have been worse, for everyone,

and especially the children. Thank God, nothing like that happened. Now,

your second encounter----with honesty, is Good. If you have to start on

a life of truth and honesty, especially with your spouse, there is

nothing you should be afraid of. In fact, in 2009, there is acceptance

of prior relationships, one would think, even in Indian villages. Life

has changed, thanx to Bollywood ( for better or for worse ). What is

important is that you also accept your spouse's prior indiscretions, and

live out a fruitful life. Perhaps, the man you were " engaged " to is also

immature, if he is more concerned about your prior relationship with a

married person, but is not questioning the entire relationship with

anyone !! From now, find something meaningful in life to do. Job. Social

work, whatever that helps others. During this experience of your life,

you will come across someone who wants you for what you do in society

and not for reasons of marriage by purity !! He will respect you and

want you for what you are, for what you have become, for what you

contribute to society and for your mature handling of issues, whether

social or otherwise. Durgesh

Mankikar,MD------------------------

Dear R...

 

Better, you both consult a marriage counseller...Gee waman

 

 

---------------------------

 

 

-------------------------

 

PRIOR POSTING

 

Dear all,

 

I fall short of words to convey my thanks to all of you.Each of your

valuable

responses is certainly giving insight into life in a different

perspective. I

feel tough to accept that my fiancee who was not righteous himself,

rejected me

that i was not righteous but as devotee Naga narayana said I am

realizing that i

have no authority on this thinking. I did mistakes in life without

giving a

thought. I understand the importance of pondering on a situation before

proceeding with my desires. Everyone says that I was a fool and i was

not street

smart thats why i revealed my past life to him. It is only from my

parents and

in this forum that i am getting positive feedbacks on what i did. May be

its

god's intervention that i came across this blog.

 

But are the norms of society different for men and women? Why do we get

deceived

by people whom we trust and love? Whom should we trust in life? No one

except

god can be trusted in life.

 

I want to live for my parents. I don't want to give more troubles and

pain for

my parents. I want to make them proud and give them happiness. Please

guide me

how to surrender to lord? What prayers I should do regularly? How do I

wash my

sins?

 

I am still going through confusions and depressions as to what is my

dharma now?

My mother told me to not to tell about my past to anyone from now, She

says past

is past and we should learn from past and there is no need to prove

anyone about

my remorse. She says no one will accept such things. She is worried when

i will

get married. But if i dont tell my past to the person I will marry, it

would not

be dharma. I dont want to lie in my life. I cannot move freely if i lie.

It

haunts me. Please suggest me what is my dharma now? Listening to my

mother is

dharma or telling about my past before I marry the person is dharma?

 

I repent on my past and I will surely restrain myself from doing any

sins and

any activity which violates my dharma in future. I will be honest to my

Atma and

god. Do I have to tell and prove anyone else that I will not do such

things in

future? I feel sad for myself that I have been pleading and begging my

fiancée

that I will not do such things in future though he never cared.

 

Please guide me as per Bhagvat Gita and as per lord what should be my

Dharma from

now on? I need Lord's blessings and your blessings. I want to immerse

myself in

praying to God.

 

Ramya

 

-------------------------

 

Dear R,

We are humans and we commit mistakes.But i think you have shown

tremendous

courage to tell your fiancee the truth about your past.But he has NOT

done

anthing different from any one of the MALES in our society who are

brought up in

the belief that Virginity is important and that First love is important

etc.He

has shown normal behaviour here but his betrayal of your trust by

exposing you

to your parents shows him to be a coward.He wants to escape the guilt by

putting

the onus on your parents.He is NOT worthy of your affection and respect.

Now as you have loved this man it will be little difficult to accept

that this

fellow is such an unworthy. But TIME is a great healer and you will look

at this

phase with lot of HUMOUR.

Believe me because i have passed through this.

with kind regards

captain johann

 

-----------------------------

 

Shree Hari Ram Ram

 

Even if the vilest of sinners, worships God with exclusive devotion, he

should be considered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be God's

devotee.

(Gita 9:30). In an instant, (at that very moment, immediately) he

becomes

virtuous and attains eternal peace. Know for certain and rest assured

that God's devotees never fall. Swamiji repeated this verse often, to

make certain that we get this message entirely and completely. Swamiji

says -

 

Simply have faith that all (including the suffering) can be overcome by

Almighty God's grace. Become God's (I am only God's and only God is

Mine). Once you accept this exclusively, thereafter you will never take

a fall (i.e. sin again).

 

" Devotee never falls " , because even God cannot change a devotee's

assurance. Devotion is God's weakness.

 

Meera Das

 

Ram Ram

 

------------------------------

 

New Question

 

Hari Om

 

We often wonder whether the error should be confessed/revealed. On the

surface, it appears that it is another error to confess error - sound

reasons can be cited in support. All hell breaks loose, when one

confesses an error. Invariably ! There is " world " waiting for this with

a sword in hand, and there is " nature " of individual soul forcing it.

 

But " confession " is the hallmark of a pure soul. All religions advocate

acceptance of an error as error. In Christianity the confession is said

to be ultimate cleaner of the dust over the soul. Seeing an error as

distinct from you is undoubtedly an essential process for its

eradication.

 

I think the line is very thin and there must be certain subtle

principles governing the choices. There is one thing known as " wisdom "

too ! There is discord always between the views of caring/affectionate

elders ( say parents) and the views of one who erred. Can there be a

possibility of correcting without confessing? Is " resolving not to

repeat but keeping mum " not an ideal alternative? Then indeed there is a

beautiful and never failing Law of Nature - " Both sins and virtues

multiply when concealed. " Then there is need for withdrawing yourself

from error. Then there is an element known as " conscience " ( antaratma).

And of course.... The Beloved.

 

What are views of Divine Sadhaks on this? Wisdom vs Conscience !

Punishment vs Acquittal ! Jagat vs Jeeva ! Mother Nature vs Father

Paramatma ! Law of Karma vs Law stated above of concealing the

sin/virtue !! " Non repetition " vs " Confession " !!!

 

Jai Shree Krishna

 

Vyas N B

------------------------

 

Dear Sadaks,

This posting is NOT for " R " but in general.

" To err is human " , please think deeply. Does it not look like excuse.?

Does it not look like, " After all human can err " ? Do sadaks know what is

humanism? The person who betrayed also takes it as " To err is human "

when he feels having betrayed " R " . All sadaks do know that err in the

eyes of GOD does not get excused for the one betrayer. Sadaks do you

know that Bagavan looks is called in sanskrit " Alukdruk " which means NO

ONE escapes sinful act as that committed by the betrayer. " R " is clear

out of that looks, because of prayachit. Besides if one thinks

carelessly about err, then in the mind one is sowing seed unknowingly

about next err. It is easy to say " Forget " , but it is very difficult,

you all sadaks know, because of impressions deeply laid in mind. (Ref:

Vivekachudami) Anything, even parents, whom we lay impressions in mind

do disturb us when they die. But Bagavan has tought Yudhava in Yudhava

Geetha that how to drop attachments. Besides Bagavan has said in Geetha

that to live among everyone, but surrender only to HIM. But we surrender

to our emotions Etc but NOT to Bagavan. The best example is Adi Sankara.

When he was 5 years old, his father died. When everyone was crying, he

remained undisturbed, because he had gyan and was above human level.

We all know we have come across so many parents, sisters, brothers

friends and Foes in many births, but very little knowledge about not

being attached to all around. From the posting, I can see the attachment

sadaks having to console " R " . " R " has done and that is the end. Let go

thoughts and feelings. When Abimanyu died, Sri Krishna said to crying

Yuthara, it has happened, let go, stop crying. Hard to follow but easy

if one has only love on Sri Krishna.

Sri Vyasji, " One incidence/sin does not take away infinite glory of

human life. " is wrong Sir for Sadaks. (Not for " R " ). One incident of

Viswamitra with Menaka has removed years of penance. That too it was in

rightful way. But Sastras regrets for Sadaks. As said by Sant Meera

Doosra Koyi Nayhi. Here Doosra was Menaka. Sri Rama sent arrow on Vaali

and killed Vaali for rightful purpose. But Vaali had to come to take

back to earth as " Jaara " (HUNTER) who sent arrow on Sri Krishna` s toe

and thus ended Sri Krishna Avathar. Cause and effect is Prarabtha Karma.

This earth is Karma Boomi. Having come here is only to clear our sins

of past. So one has to be very careful to excuse saying Err.

One more thing Sadaks: If some one has lost huge amount in share market

and sitting very distressed, then imagine you walk in with Bagavath

Geetha, he will simple disregard you. He need to recover all by

himself from loss. Then Geetha will work.

Jai Sri Krishna

B.Sathyanarayan

 

 

 

 

-------------------------

 

PRIOR POSTING

 

Hari Om

 

To err is human. Not to repeat error is divine. You indeed sinned. But

you repented and paid/are paying the penalty thereof by earning

displeasure of your parents, ill fame and losing some 'dear' ones. You

are 'quits' now. Both the sin and its consequences are over.Now you only

have to conquer your own mind. Fresh thoughts of suicide, guilt,

apprehensions, fear, remorse, loss and hopelessness are simply your new

stupidities. You must renounce them. You must rise above them. You must

look up and see the life as a fresh beginning.

 

But the fact is also that you were pure hearted soul. That quality of

'not cheating' any one; of repentance/regret over an error, of honesty,

of transparency is far superior than any other thing. Your fiance is not

worth regretting about. Forget about him for ever. Worry about your

parents and seek their forgiveness. They will surely understand. Let the

life take its own course without fiance or his surroundings. Take care

of your parents. Dont carry any further desires about future - negative

or positive. No apprehensions, no anxieties, no fears. Turn towards

Paramatma. See how little human life changes with one incident, one

error or one gesture. Consider human life to be a place where there are

likings and dislikings waiting to be conquered. Consider that you are

not alone with a situation like this. Consider that each soul is

sufferring with one thing or other. The world is 'Dukhalayam' ! Consider

that in the present circumstances and situations your ultimate

betterment is hidden.Consider hundreds of alternatives which are open to

you inspite of what you narrated. Live the life as it comes. Concentrate

fearlessly on your DUTIES !! Forget the past. What else past or present

is except a dream? What can you gain or lose in a dream ? Hey Little

Divine Girl ! Cheer up ! Laugh the past out.

 

Simply 1. Dont worry (Ma Suchah) 2. Serve your parents and endeavour to

please them 3 Leave your desires for 'x' or 'y' situation/circumstance

4. Turn towards God 5 Start laughing/giggling and give a fresh look to

life as it is existing NOW- without worry, remorse, guilt, and with

EQUANIMITY ! 6 Leave the company of those who look at you with sarcasm-

remember every human sins, many sin repeatedly; rather almost all are

sinning continuously; hence dont bother about surroundings or loose

talkers even a bit - you should damn care. You are fully justified in

completely ignoring them. 7 Learn through Satsanga / Scriptures/ Good

Company (Forums like this GT Group) as to what is human life; why it is;

what is duty and what you should henceforth really do/get/know now that

by God's grace you have got human life. 8 Be cheerful ; remain cheerful

.. Dont worry. You are daughter of the King of all Kings- Paramatma. Love

being that. Enjoy being that. Rejoice being that.9 When in sad mood,

pray to God. Keep always yourself surrounded by holy thoughts, holy

actions, holy attitude, holy books and holy people. Never Never worry.

Do your duties diligently.

 

DONT WORRY. DONT WORRY. DONT WORRY - MA SUCHAH ! Give a fresh glance to

SELF !

Respect human life.It is more rare than anything else. You have got it.

Hence become happy by this thought and look ahead. One incidence/sin

does not take away infinite glory of human life.

 

Jai Shree Krishna

 

Vyas N B

 

------------------------------

 

Surrender to God and ask for strength to go through the suffering. More

you

surrender, more strength you will get and one day you will come out of

your

dilema with the strength of your surrender and the consequent Grace of

God.

There should be no thinking how the Grace will come, when it will come

etc. Just

have Faith in surrender and His Grace and it will produce a miracle

which in

reality is not.

Jayantilal Shah

 

 

-------------------------------

Jai Shree Krishna Who has not commited an error? I am yet to see a

faultless guy on this earth. I remember our Revered Swamiji once told in

a pravachan: I have not sinned for last 30/40 years ...Sure...but I

cannot say that during this life I have never sinned. Everybody

sometime or other sins. You also fell prey to it. But you were

courageous enough to reveal that. REMEMBER : Law is that BOTH SINS AND

VIRTUES INCREASE WHEN THEY ARE CONCEALED. By admitting you have not only

stopped the tendency of sin to increase but have also exposed yourself

to quick consequence. So you got the result also fast. It is over and

all now. A thing of past. Forget about the fiancee. He is not a soul

befitting your purity. He is not a lesser sinner nor was that married

man. In every adversity there is pleasure hidden. In every pleasure

there is sorrow hidden. That is how the life is. Now PLEASE dont pay

attention to your past sins. PLEASE dont think about the incident.

PLEASE ignore all the people or the talks which fiancee is making before

his relatives regarding you. They are not worth thinking about. They are

not worth pleading to. They are not worth desiring for.THINK AHEAD.

There is entire human life lying open before you. You cant afford to

pause or look back with shame, guilt and remorse. TURN TOWARDS GOD.

Make use of the present adverse situation/circumstances by resolving not

to 1. Repeat the error 2. Desire for favourable circumstances. If you

have to do one thing on priority.....that is TAKE CARE OF YOUR PARENTS.

Do your duty as the future unfolds before you. Leave the very desire

that he or someone else should forgive you or accept you. Leave it !

Fearlessly leave it. Life does not end with single happenning. TURN

TOWARDS GOD. Adversity has been given to you so that you may change your

course. JUST LEAVE THE DESIRE FOR FAVOURABLE CIRCUMSTANCES. The

favourable circumstances then will fall at your feet....begging to get a

glance from you. REMEMBER: You are as pious, as pure, and as faultless

as you were before that incident with married man or before your

confession to your fiancee. NOTHING NOTHING HAS CHANGED....only you have

become more solid to face the viccissitudes of human life. The very fact

that you have turned towards this Divine Satsanga Forum proves that God

is with you with His full might. Rejoice....Be happy....Love being in

company of SAT and fall at the pious feet of God and your

parents...fearlessly, remorselessly, worrylessly and with full of vigour

and enthusiasm. Swami Rupesh

Kumar-----------------Narain ! Narain

!! Nothing has happened in your life Dear R ! What is so big about

making an error? These marital relations in a life of a bachelor girl

keep changing. You marry ultimately only that guy with whom you are

destined to marry. What is so big about it ? Sooner or later you will

find a m,atch. Just remove yourself out of present surroundings and

serve your parents fearlessly. Look at God in case of need and at no

body else. You made a mistake and you got remorseful of the same. Now

that you have got results also ....move ahead. Sin is no more there.

Only you have to forget about it. Narain ! Narain !! Dont think

anymore about that fiancee or about that married man. They are

manipulators. They are not worth being your spouse or being in your

pious mind. You are miles ahead of them in purity. Dont waste your time

by constantly regretting about the past. Sure the biggest error was to

inflict a hurt on your parents. Take care of them with renewed vigour

and vitality. They will forgive you. Look at God. Keep contributing to

this Satsanga Forum. Live as life comes at you. Be fearless about the

future. Be ignorant about the past. Be Dutiful at present. Enough.

Everybody is burning in this world with sorrow. Only those who have

turned towards God are few exceptions. They also face adversity but for

them there is pleasure visible inside adversity. BE BOLD. FACE THIS

WORLD WITH CONVICTION, COURAGE AND CONFIDENCE. Simply DONOT BE SAD.

Simply DONOT WORRY. Narain ! Narain !! Naarad Maharishi

------------------aha !! aum !!!!

beautiful, beautiful, blissful, ........ bliss and beauty ...... the

words that have flowed from naga narayan jee ................ ah, dear R

............. read them joyfully............ read them again and again,

yet again........... till each word sinks into your being, shattering

your Mind ( concepts and conditionings ).... Blessings from nari and

narinder ............

AUM

 

Narinder

 

----

PRIOR POSTING

 

Mistakes … Forgiveness … Peace of Mind … Dhamma …

Dilemma …

 

Dharma is trifold – personal (Jaata), social (samaaja) and eternal

(Sanaatana).

 

Personal dharma is developed based on the complete freedom provided by

the

nature within. I like white is purely my choice. If I like black, that

too. The

personal likes and dislikes are just personal. Nobody can change except

oneself.

Trying to change somebody else's personal opnions is wrong since it does

more

harm than good, almost always. Therefore, what your fiance thinks is

never

authored by you – you neither are responsible for it nor do you have

any

authority over it. But what you think is definitely your authorship

– you are

responsible and you have full authority. You had a choice either to hide

the

truth or to tell. By telling you have invited social wrath from around

… by not

telling you would have triggered a personal wrath from within. In my

opinion,

the wrath from within is a bigger danger than its social nemesis though

the

later cannot be trivialized in manner.

 

Social dharma can never work on the framework of personal freedom. It

evolves

perpetually based on power-centric popular consensus that builds and

nurtues the

soceity. Therefore, expecting social forgiveness on any act violating

the very

social foundation is mythical. That defies the very definition of a

soceity. On

the other hand, one has the responsibility and duty to conform to the

social

norms for one's own benefit as well as the others' benefits in large.

All

religion and law try to do is to protect and nurture the accepted social

values

and thwart any threat to the same. One tries to work with the

popoulations'

desires and aspirations to be happy and the other brings in the fear

factor to

maintain order in the same. Irrespectively, the population will insist

on its

values as any deviation looks like an imbalance in its perceived social

equilibrium. The only way to go against the social norms is either to

nurture

the personal strength to withstand and even obliviate the social wrath

from

within and/or to develop social influence to change the social values as

such.

You have to look for either or both to help yourself to resolve the

conflict

raised between you (person) and the soceity (your relations).

 

The Sanaatana Dharma transcends the very concept of freedom as THAT IS

THE

FREEDOM where there are no choices to make in the first place. Milk

being milk

cannot be forced to be anything else by any force in the universe. Fire

burning

the paper cannot be reverted to wetting the paper by any force in this

universe.

So are YOU. The more you see YOU the stronger you will become to face

all the

personal and social adversities. Because, all the personal and social

preferences and expectations (bondage in other words) are developed ONLY

DUE TO

ONE REASON – you (the ever changing) not being YOU (the never

changing) even for

a moment carried away by the frenzy of the so called life. My sincere

suggestion

to you is to PAUSE and have a sincere look within introspectively as

well as

retrospectively.

 

Kritam Smara … recall what was done … what REALLY was done …

was anything done

at all? …

 

Krato Smara … recall who did … who REALLY did … could

anybody do anything at

all? …

 

The more you contemplate on the doing as well as the doer from the

apparent

superficial perspective of what you are for the soceity toward what you

are for

yourself … transcending the soceity as well as you to WHAT YOU

REALLY ARE … you

will have the MOKSHA from your dilemmas. This solution is sure to work

across

all the dilemmas; because, THE TRUTH – that YOU ARE and EVRYTHING IS

–

transcends all dilemmas categorically.

 

Kindly, gather synergy of all your existence from within and help

yourself

toward relief from the grief that is certainly beyond one's imagination.

 

Deep Respects.

 

Naga Narayana.

------\

------

 

 

 

 

Dear R….

 

Whom are you asking to forgive? Krishna says that it is He whom you are

accountable to. If you are true to your heart (and Him), do not consider

anyone else important. If a person (your fiancée) can not understand

you and your true love, he is not worth it. You will find better person

and it will be very soon. You leave it to Him and be calm. Believe in

Him, surrender to Him and you will be like Him- calm and at peace.

 

Jai pal

 

-----

Dear R.....

My respects to you, all glories to the Lord in the Heart who is

guiding all

of us.

You are certainly suffering a lot....there is a point in life where

we have

to ask, " how long will this go on? " But to go beyond the feeling that

your life

is useless is very important....there are so many things that you can

find

happines in to take the focus away from him. Get out of the house and

start

finding some volunteer activities, or a yoga group, or different church

group.

Ulitimately, if we turn to anyone except the Supreme Lord, we are only

hurting

ourselves.....He is our dearmost friend, guide, lover, etc. Would He

reject you

or I because we committed what some consider to be a mistake? According

to a

different system of belief, you have done no wrong. No, He wouldn't

reject

you, because He knows you are eternally to be loved and cared for. He

will

never stop feeling affection and love for you. You CAN pick yourself

up, and

have dignity, self-respect, and honor, if you go beyond the dharmas of

this

world, and remember to the

think of the Lord at every moment. This is our true dharma....it

surpasses all

else.

Sincerely, Maha Laksmi

Dasi--\

----------------Learn from the past......Plan for the future.......but

Live in the present....... We all make mistakes as per our understanding

of life at the time.....but as we mature....our understanding becomes

better.....we need to learn and move on........guilt feeling should be

left in the past.....guilt is a thought, replace it with I am the best

now....wiser after learning from past..... with a new

understanding....new life has to be experienced in the present.......a

happy, joyful, present full of wisdom/understanding of rules of life,

knowing your true self.....and that in turn will build a bright

future...... In short, be very positive. Worst will be over as soon as

you change your thoughts....count the good points you have in

life.....and move on......live in present....happily....a good future

awaits you..... We all have the power, all alone, to turn the worst into

the best........try it......take it as a challenge....Best wishesSushil

Jain--\

----------- Dear All,

A person committing an error in ignorance and realising the fault and

wows not to even think of such a mistake becomes pure in heart.

Everyone has rightly advised.

Boldness in revelation is the first step of righteousness.

Past life is immaterial when you decide how to live in future.

We wish the lady a peaceful, prosperous and happy life.

Ramesh Babu

Think Good and Do Good, No harm ever will come to you; Good Human being

is the perenial need of this World. V.Ramesh Babu

 

 

 

-------------------------

 

PRIOR POSTING

 

|| Shree Paramatmane Namah ||

 

This human life given by God, is more valuable then any incident in this

world. If out of ignorance some mistake has been committed, and

considering it to be a mistake, if you have made a firm commitment to

never again make this mistake, then this mistake does not remain. On

telling your mistake, your fiance has decided to sever all relations

with you, this was a good thing right now, else if this had happened

after marriage, what would happen? Pay attention to this point. One

must grieve only for that which is improbable or impossible, the

impossible does not happen, what can happen, that happens. " shauk

useekaa kijiye, jo anhoni hoi; anhoni hoti nahin, honi hai so hoye. "

(Sadhak Sanjivani - hindi pg 80). Swamiji has a flawless mantra that

always works " Karne mein Saavdhaan, Hone mein Prasanna " . " In doing

one must be careful, in the outcome one must remain happy. " Further

ahead, you have a long life in front of you. Forget the ghosts of the

past and not getting swept away by worries of the future, simply live

the present well. God is very compassionate. So be it...

 

Sarvottam.

 

-----------------------------

 

-Shree Hari-

 

Dear R,

 

Peace be with you!

 

Straight off the top:

 

Bhagavad Gita 9:30:-

Even if the vilest sinner worships Me with exclusive devotion, he should

be

considered a saint, for he has rightly resolved to be My Devotee.

(This is NOT to infer you are by a long chalk a vile sinner, you let

your

passions take control, you made a MISTAKE).

 

If Bhagwan welcomes sinners to his heart, what right has any to judge?

Do not judge yourself as unworthy! Turn to 'The Beloved'. In a way by

writing to

this 'Divine Forum', you have started to seek Sri Krishna!

 

When an adulteress was brought before Jesus, in reply to questions by

the 'mob',

he said the punishment by the " Law " , is she should be stoned, he then

said let

he who is without sin cast the first stone!

The only one eligible was Jesus! But he being Divine had only love in

his heart.

 

Killing oneself is stacking up more tribulation to be dealt with, in a

future

life.

 

There is a light shining you know, like a Divine Lighthouse, fix your

gaze upon

that, genuine repentance, guaranties, Divine forgiveness!!

 

Om Shanti...

 

Mike. (K)

 

-------------------------------

 

Dear R

 

Be happy and thank God that saves you from such persons.

When you do not want to carry the burden of mistakes in past, it is a

sign of your pure heart.

Your fiance is unfortunate in rejecting you and you are fortunate that

such nature of your fiance has come out in open before marriage.What

would have happened if this was revealed after marriage.How you will

lead life with unforgiving and narrow minded person. This also shows

the nature of blowing something out of proportion.

So,dear R,it is your choice to be happy or unhappy,to say glass is half

empty or half full .

And do not forget to start daily study of Gita.The regular study of

Gita only will enable you to seethe positive side instead of negative.

And be fearless ,God recognises ,appreciates and rewards purity in

heart.

Ashok

Jain-------------------------------

Dear Ones Namaste!Dear R...Please dismiss all ideas about killing,

depression etc at once! That is the first thing to do now. They are

ideas only now and can be arrested at this level, believe me! If you

sincerely repent what had happended in the past, I know you do, then,

stop worrying about the world, parents, fiance. Just have no bad

feelings for anyone anymore for what happened to you. You take

responsibility and you will figure out from the seeming problem.Look to

God, whatever is your understanding of Him is!God is the greatest

forgiver! Trust Him fully, whole hearted!Nothing can undo whatever has

been done. You tried to work out with your fiance, but he doesn't want

to marry you. So, bless him and move on. Life doesn't end here. Next

pray to God so hard, many times a day and whenever you can. Ask His help

by telling Him that you cannot continue in this agony by yourself alone

and He has to interevene now. You may want to write down your weakness

on piece of paper and then ask His help in your own words as best as you

can. Keep this paper at His feet if you have Murti of you God. Then

relax and go on about doing your job as you would normally do. Spend

time with friends, satsangees, if possible. In short be God

driven.Remain open and ready to meet with potential relationship

prospects as God may bring you another nice one. But be careful not to

have expectations!You should give this a fair try, and see how God helps

those who seek Him!Namaskar....Pratap Bhatt

--------------------------------

 

Hare Krishna

 

I believe there are a few teachings of Sri Hari, Hamare Sri Krishnaji

that could be applied in your case!

But first, have no doubt.

 

If I was in your situation, I would feel its good that this happened.

You got the fruits of your wrong deed (in whatever proportion) so soon.

In this birth itself.

And, after understanding your situation, if your fiance is still not

able to forgive you, feel lucky that it was Krishna's blessings that the

marriage got broke. If all this would have happened after the marriage,

it would have been much more heart-shattering. Now you are free of this

bond because, as it is evident now, it wasnt meant for you.

 

And, have full faith in Krishna. Remember - Whatever happens, happens

for good. So, in this is also there is something good He has in store

for you, apart from the fact that you were able to cut some of your past

bad-Karma right now.

And if you surrender yourself to Krishna, you will get comfort

automatically. I would also highly recommend listening to Srimad

Bhagavat Katha if you could. And, as it is, rather than asking here,

just try to get your answers directly from GITAji. You will definitely

get your answers!

As for parents, dont have much options but to bow to their feet and ask

for their forgiveness. They will!! Parents always do. And, then, time is

the best healer. And, then...remember, all relationships form a

bondage!! True relationship will be only with Parmatma!

 

Hari Bol...Narayan Hari...

-Pankaj Verma

-------------------------------

All mistakes you are talking about are mistakes recognized as mistake

afterwards. And, therefore if the first mistake was to get into some

relation with a married man, the second was to tell this to your fiance,

third mistake would be to think that your life is not worth living

because of the embarrassment to your parents and the loss of the

fiance.Each mistake leades to suffering unless you convince your mind

that there is nothing that you need to and can do about things/ events

that have alreadt taken place, except not to repeat the same behavior

under similar circumstances. The only option is to reduce the amount of

time and energy that thoughts concerning these past events are taking

away from your mind now close to less than a minute on any day.You must

continue to live happily despite the past events. Time will heal the

embarrassment caused to the Parents - may be it will take long time, But

if you find another man who would really support you irrespective of

your past or you can continue to remain single with lot of work that you

enjoy, your Parents and family will forget what happened rgis time very

soon. Leave it your last fiance to sort out his problem: he may also be

suffering from the same incident of cancelling the marriage. He may soon

consider what he has done by cancelling marriage as mistake and come

back to you. He may not come back in which case it would prove to you

that you had not chosen the right fiance to marry. And, a mistake has

been corrected unwittingly by your own folly of sharing some past event

with that fiance. Not all fiances can tolerate past relationship of

their partners - it is better for them not to know about the past of

their partners after having chosen a partner. Mistakes can happen by any

one.So, change your approach from past mistake oriented thoughts to

building a future for yourself in different ways than you had been

thinking so far. Think that what has happened is God's will for the

better of some one or the other. Accept it and move ahead with hope and

optimism that God is preparing yourself to deal with greater challanges

ahead. Know that your life is not any more dependent on those past

events: your life depend on what happens in future. Basudeb

Sen--D\

ear sadak,

What " R " did is SIN. Bodily engaging before marriage is not permitted by

sastras. But the same sastras says, self realization is prayachit. " R "

has done wonderful thing by being frank, which erases sinful act and

became pavitra (Clean)

1) Trust in Bagavan and love HIM to utmost.You get released and

liberated.

2) Just marry someone who will LOVE you for your goodness and who will

forget your sins of body and love you as a good human. Further help I

can do.

B.Sathyanarayan

---

 

Hi R,

 

Calm down. Do not kill yourself. If you kill yourself, you will be

doing the same thing over and over again six times more (Atma-Hatya).

This is a natural law of the universe. Hence, do not kill your-self.

 

The mistake you did that 'you allowed...'. The mistake had happened.

Now on (on wards), do not allow any one to touch you..... People are

taking the advantages of your mistake done in the past. Stay unmarried

and self-sufficient, support yourself. You would be more happy all the

time. People have been spending their life in miserable, but are not

teling the truth.

 

Pray to the GOD, whichever you believe. He is the only one to support

you, protect you, and save you all the time.

 

Jashwant Shah

 

-----------------------

Forgiveness is divine, dear R...........the seeking of forgiveness.. and

forgiving the other ........... But.............. we have lost our

divinity........... our true being stands eclipsed .......... what

transpired between you and the married man............. though a lapse,

...............is happenning daily today ............the march of time ,

ah ! .............narinder shall not go into the moral aspect of it

............. morality keeps changing ............ different people hold

different views ......... personally , I feel ...........it is not

right, yes............ but , once a mistake is realised .............

and dropped ................. one has learnt from the experience

............ one must , then, learn to forgive oneself first ( having

asked God 's forgiveness for the lapse ) ............. in life, there

are no rehearsals.............. things happen................. each

person has to be willing to learn from Life .............. mistake is a

mistake , only if it gets repeated ............ if we donot learn from

it .................... 'right' and 'wrong' , are mind's concepts

................... the mind itself is deluded , because of the march of

time ... what should one do ? narinder has found Joy and

solace............ in going to the source of the mind .............to

God residing in the cavity of your own heart......... to really know

and transcend the game of concepts and conditionings that the mind

keeps playing ....... narinder has sought refuge in the voice of

Dharma..... the Unchanging behind the ever changing concepts

................... the Guru and the scriptures have brought peacefulness

to the heart ........... also wisdom and strength .... to walk the

Path............... while R seeks to walk the great Path that is called

' liberation from fear , pain and delusion' , may narinder suggest

............... in this particular situation, forgive yourself

............. no great sin have you committed .............. what

happened , happened ................ and asto your

fiancee................. if he is Not forgiving...................... he

is Not worth having a marriage relationship with ..... forget

him............... seek refuge at Krishna's feet ................. He

it is , who shall come again to you as your fiancee again.... someone ,

who , too , seeks a mate , to walk the Path of Realisation of the Self

with you ............... the goal of Life is self realisation or God

realisation ( same thing) ............. and the aim of a marriage true

.... is the same ...... to help both imdividuals to realise their

ultimate potential , now that the basic needs of love, sex, and

companionship have been met ....... do not despair ................. ask

Krishna to be your guide ............... and seek to learn from the

Bhagvada Geetha , the way to the self .................. do NOT despair

......let the scriptures be the guide to what your conduct shall be in

the world .... pray to God to for strength and wisdom .............. if

the prayer is sincere and true ....... the Lord shall show you the Way

...................... He himself comes as the guide ... AUM narinder

bhandari-------------------------Dear

Madam,

 

For every mistake there is forgiveness. If your fiance is unable to

forgive

your mistake But i tell you God will forgive your mistake if you confess

your

mistake without hide anything. I am sure that God knows everything,

every

dealings of our life. Tell your fiance that, if you are not able to my

mistake

even though i told about my past life with you without hide. God will

not forget

your mistake.

 

According to Bible Jesus said that we must love one another & forgive

one

another. I also had same like your problem . I told my husband only

after our

engagements. He agreed with me but some he used to ask me often about my

past.

But after i gave birth to a child I faced many problems with my Husband>

Gradually i told about Love of Christ Jesus & His forgivess to this

mankind. So

we are nothing when we comapred to GOd who forgave our sins, trespass. I

asked

God to forgive my sins before my engaement with tears i prayed God for

my

future. Initially i thought to Hide every my past to my Husband But i

couldnot

so, I told step by step my past even though He showed me Love but later

He used

to speak about my past.

 

But now I am leading a Very Happy married life almost 3 years over. i

hope who

delivered me from this problem the Same God will deliver you and He will

bless

you & your future.

 

I hope you console of this reply,

 

thanks

Gracy

 

 

=================================

 

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE -

 

FOR QUESTIONER

1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant

to

Dharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to

take up

spiritual path

2. The Questioner must commit to daily Gita study

3. Only one question at a time.

4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's

primary aim

of deeper understanding of Gita.

 

 

GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -

1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.

2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.

3. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that

they

further help in understanding the Gita shlokas

4. Be as concise, to the point, respecting sadhaka's time.

5. Focus on subject at hand only.

6. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #,

address

etc) or personalize message to particular person

7. All responses may not be posted and moderator at his discretion, may

modify

the posting.

8. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian

audience. Limit

the use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.

 

MODERATOR

Ram Ram

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