What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?

[Guest guest]

Shree Hari Ram Ram

Sadhaks, is there a way this questions can be addressed not just based on family matters / society / relationships in the world but more from directing sadhak to the Gitaji ? ONLY ONE MESSAGE WILL BE POSTED ON THIS TOPIC - on Jan 14, 2010. PLEASE BE BRIEF, RESPECTFUL AND RELAVANT.

Gita Talk Moderators, Ram Ram

=========================================================

Dear Sadhak CommunityI would like to ask one question.

What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?

We see in our society that people give importance to birth of a son over a daughter. I suppose whatever we receive in life or post-life is based on our own Deeds, then why people give so much importance to having at least one son. I would like Sadhakas to express their views on this subject.

Kind Regards,

A Sadhak

Kuldeep

===========================================GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE - FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to feedback at end of dicussion to bring closure and commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. RESPECT all Sadhaks. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be BRIEF, RELEVANT (stay with the subject being discussed only)

5. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person6. All responses may not be posted.

7. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.GITA TALK MODERATORSRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

[Guest guest]

Shree Hari Ram Ram

Sadhaks, is there a way this questions can be addressed not just based on family matters / society / relationships in the world but more from directing sadhak to the Gitaji ? FINAL POSTING - on Jan 14, 2010. PLEASE BE BRIEF, RESPECTFUL AND RELEVANT.

Gita Talk Moderators, Ram Ram

=========================================================

Dear Sadhak CommunityI would like to ask one question.

What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?

We see in our society that people give importance to birth of a son over a daughter. I suppose whatever we receive in life or post-life is based on our own Deeds, then why people give so much importance to having at least one son. I would like Sadhakas to express their views on this subject.

Kind Regards,

A Sadhak

Kuldeep

 

NEW POSTING

Gita says that one has the right to work/ action but not over the conseqience of the the work or action. Thus, one cannot have right to get a son or daughter. Still some one may prefer to have a son. But that is desire to satisfy some want in the mind of the person. Gita says one should better avoid having any desire. Still a person may believe that by having a son rather than a daughter he might achieve one or more of the following: (a) continuation of the dynasty, (b) son may be able to take better care of the parents in old age,© daugter have to be married off to another family at great cost and such other things. These are perceived differences between having a son and not having a son or having a daughter. The actual results may vary case to case. But the important point is that all these preferences for sons, daughters etc are nothing but desires and no one can guarantee that these desires will be fulfilled by having a son. Many daughters take care of parents in old age better than sons, many parents die before they are old enough to need son's care, son's die before their parents become old and need care. One may have sons but thesons may not have sons and dynasty/ lineage breaks down. Having dynasty may not fulfill further desires as the parents would have died long before the dynasty suffers. Yet, some peole still would like to have a son rather than a daughter. This is an Illusion. There may be some others, may be a small percentage of parents who like to have only dauthers, and some other people want both daughters and sons. All these are pursuits in illusion. People have no control over the consequences of their action to procreate. Itis the desire and ego that drives parents through such desires.

Basudeb Sen

------

 

Honestly it makes no difference. It is misleading and mischeivous superstition that has been handed from generation to the next that "Aputrasys Gatih Na asthi. The 'Gat' or the destination of an individual is determined by what he/she has done when in the body. His going to uttama Gati or Neeca Gati is solely o his making. It does not and logically can not have anything to do with his son's work. Pitr Karma etc are acts of honouring the departed soul but they do not push the Atma to Swarga or Naraka. Giving a cowe to some one who sells it for money the minute after receiving it is a meaningless ritual. Dahan Samskara etc are done to the body which is mere material made and we are told it is inferior to Atma. Then, why give importace to such mundane object and its disposal.

 

If one can do dahana Samskara to Atma, it may be different. But Atma is ayama daahyo ayama kledyo asosha etc (cf. ch.2 of BG). So You cant do anything to Atma - its upward or down wad journey.

 

YAT YAT BHAVYAM POORVA KARMA ANUROOPAM

 

aPUTRAH GATIH NAASTI IS PURE SUPERSTITION. Just ignore it.

 

Krishna

---------------

Reverend Sirs,The question of why a son is preferred over a daughter in Hindu society, which appears to be difficult from the religious point of view, is extremely simple from the scientific point of view:" Because Hindu society is patriarchal"In this matter all patriarchal societies, Hindu or any other, have the same reaction.They prefer sons to daughters despite the well known fact: "A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life"Respectfully,Jasmer Singh

----------

Dear Sadaks,Importance to given to son over daughter, is pure ignorance. If one understands at intellect level as Sri Kuldeep said, it is past Karmaic effect, then that person is divine soul. But 99 .9% human understand Karmic effect ONLY by mere bookish knowledge or just by words. There are 3 saints well known in Vaishavite and shivite who are examples. One such eminent one lived 350 years ago Sant Poothanam in Kerala- Malapuram. In THE Hindu and other renouned news papers article were also published about this saint. After few years of married life this saint was blessed with a son. On the 1st anniversary of the child the it dies by carelessness of guest invited for that anniversary. Least affected, he sang, " When I have the child Krishna in my heart dwelling, why should I think of the one (his child) died due to its Karma". People heard the jigling sound of child Krishna leg bracelet approaching the Sant and sound stoped on sant Lap. This sant left for divine abode in presence of all villagers by Puspaka Viman. It is fitting for him for his chetan and faith and Bakthi. Most of us for a small disturbance, the mind gets upset. Then we are evaluate ourselves where we stand. We are to long way.

B.Sathyanarayan---------

 

Dear Kuldeep,Ram Ram. You have got the right answer. It does not make difference whether you have son or daughter. When we are old, daughter's can easily take care of us as they are naturally softhearted and loving.In current times, those people who give more importance to son, don't know the basics of human relationship. Sanatan dharma teaches us contentment (santosh). We should be happy with what we have.Also, it teaches us that self is not body and we should not give importance to inert body.So take care of your daughters and sons, seeing Krishna in them. If you truly believe in it, then also see Krishna in your mother and wife and serve them with that understanding.Ram Ram,Gaurav Mittal

--------------------

Doesnt really make any difference that u have a son or not,

since if every one have son than whom they will marry and how srishti will go on?

raja gurdasani

----------------------

 

--------------------

Dear Sadhakas, namaste!"What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?"It should not make any difference, really! Son, daughter, or none, spouses should remain happy in all situations! The one who understands Gita learns to remain in equanimity! Besides, the track record of those who have sons is not any particularly better than those who don't have any or have daughters! Children are welcome gift from God, not to accept them is to be rude to God! To accept them is to raise them to be honest citizens of the world!It may be that in older societies, the issue was economic hardship to raise daughters in a way to keep their characters impeccable and then marry them with dawry! Even though it is disappearing tradition now, it may be still carried out in some societies!All such problems are human created out of selfishness!Let us enjoy situations we are placed in and be grateful for them by making them opportunities to Realize TRUTH!Namaskar......Pratap Bhatt--------------------

===========================================GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE - FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to feedback at end of dicussion to bring closure and commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. RESPECT all Sadhaks. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be BRIEF, RELEVANT (stay with the subject being discussed only)

5. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person6. All responses may not be posted.

7. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.GITA TALK MODERATORSRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

[Guest guest]

Dear Sadhak CommunityI would like to ask one question.

What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?

We see in our society that people give importance to birth of a son over a daughter. I suppose whatever we receive in life or post-life is based on our own Deeds, then why people give so much importance to having at least one son. I would like Sadhakas to express their views on this subject.

Kind Regards,

A Sadhak

Kuldeep

 

NEW POSTING

Shree Hari

Ram Ram

Whether a child is boy or a girl, or there is no child at all, what difference does it make? Not in the least bit. If it has made a difference, then would Bhagwaan (God) miss telling about it? In Gita there is no mention of this. So be it.

Vineet Sarvottam

-----------------------

Dear Sadaks,

Not one sadak posted that Son or Daughter is with reference to body not athuman which is one and the same..

One Sadak posted, {"Pitr Karma etc are acts of honouring the departed soul but they do not push the Atma to Swarga or Naraka."}

In Srimath Bagavath, please read Gokarn history, as to how he pushed his elder brother Athuman from suffering to Swarg. There are number of example I can quote from our scripts. By Vedic rule (God` s rule) that only sons have right to perform dead parent ritual. But in case a person does not have son or his son died, then he has to do self Sardha at Bradrinath for himself before death, which is equaling to a son performing rituals. There is in Veda that if a man gets a son, he has to jump in well saying he has got son by Gods gift. This does not mean that a girl child is inferior by Vedic rights.

Another Sadak Posted {"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life"} This is also with to dependability on children NOT on Sri Kruishna. In many cases known to me, daughter or son both are busy now a days. So aged homes have come up. I met a couple who has 2 sons and 3 daughter in aged home. They said, "My son calls over phone every week end and my daughter calls me at least twice in a week." I told them that someone (God) is going to call you only once and that is the end. So entrust yourselves to Bagavan. Even after your children leaving you people in aged home, you are still thinking of your children NOT Bagavan."". That gave them realization to the extent that they are immersed in Bajans, saying Slokas and telling Sri Krishna that HE is their only Son.

Another Sadak posted a blow to mind, "since if every one have son than whom they will marry and how srishti will go on?" Logical question and also has spiritual value.

B.Sathyanarayan

----------------------------

Hari OmOne thing is very clear that one of the 'aishnas' (desires) commonly found across the humanity is 'putreshna'. (desire to have a son). In fact in Scriptures we come across even Great Kings like Dashratha (Father of Lord Rama) etc having done austerities (yagyas) to get a son. This appears to be a 'natural' desire too ... This also appears to be in tandem with Laws of Nature as the "creation" proceeds only by reproduction. Precisely for this reason , perhaps, in desire for mating between legitimate spouses- "in KAMA" - God has stated in Gita... I am that KAMA- that very desire (7:12) THIS IS ONE ASPECT.At the same time it is also true that to fulfill any desire ...however natural or genuine that desire may be.. is not within the hands of a human. It is also true that FOR YOUR LIBERATION and accomplishing the purpose of human life even marriage is not compulsory what to talk of having a son or daughter !! ACTUALLY NOT AT ALL NECESSARY.As regards a son or a daughter...I don't think any options are ever available in this regard to any one. It is not at all in your hands. This desire CANNOT be granted universally to all by Mother Nature. Because in that case.. May be that ALL would want 'son' only... The very creation cycle would come to a grinding halt. Hence in 'Karma Kanda' type Scriptures there are provisions for austerities, yagyas, penances, invocations, prayers, boons etc... in case you have too over whelming a desire.But in all cases the verdict of Laws of Nature has to be supreme. Hence to rejoice if a son is born and to get sad if a daughter is born or to regret if no child is born etc is simply a stupidity and carrying forward of a desire which in all cases produces sorrow only - may even put you again into the cycle of... birth and death !There is one story in Shrimad Bhagvatam where a father grieves upon the death of his only son; requests a Saint to help him, Saint calls the soul of the son to re-enter the dead body if he wants. (Departed) Son refused... giving argument that many times I have become father and you have become a son..many times vice versa...these relationships are contractual obligations arising out of operation of Law of Karma... Once the obligations are over..who is father, who is son...each soul proceeds its own way.TO SUM UP- it does not make any difference whether you have a son or daughter or a child or do not have any . In fact if you have...you have more duties...more attachment...more chances of your getting entangled in MAYA. In Gita .. Remaining 'unattached' to wife, son, home etc is one of the essential characteristics for a Jnani Bhakta ( 13: 8) ! Pranaams to all SadhaksSarve Bhavantu SukhinaNarottam -----------------------

Gita says that one has the right to work/ action but not over the conseqience of the the work or action. Thus, one cannot have right to get a son or daughter. Still some one may prefer to have a son. But that is desire to satisfy some want in the mind of the person. Gita says one should better avoid having any desire. Still a person may believe that by having a son rather than a daughter he might achieve one or more of the following: (a) continuation of the dynasty, (b) son may be able to take better care of the parents in old age,© daugter have to be married off to another family at great cost and such other things. These are perceived differences between having a son and not having a son or having a daughter. The actual results may vary case to case. But the important point is that all these preferences for sons, daughters etc are nothing but desires and no one can guarantee that these desires will be fulfilled by having a son. Many daughters take care of parents in old age better than sons, many parents die before they are old enough to need son's care, son's die before their parents become old and need care. One may have sons but thesons may not have sons and dynasty/ lineage breaks down. Having dynasty may not fulfill further desires as the parents would have died long before the dynasty suffers. Yet, some peole still would like to have a son rather than a daughter. This is an Illusion. There may be some others, may be a small percentage of parents who like to have only dauthers, and some other people want both daughters and sons. All these are pursuits in illusion. People have no control over the consequences of their action to procreate. Itis the desire and ego that drives parents through such desires.

Basudeb Sen

------

 

Honestly it makes no difference. It is misleading and mischeivous superstition that has been handed from generation to the next that "Aputrasys Gatih Na asthi. The 'Gat' or the destination of an individual is determined by what he/she has done when in the body. His going to uttama Gati or Neeca Gati is solely o his making. It does not and logically can not have anything to do with his son's work. Pitr Karma etc are acts of honouring the departed soul but they do not push the Atma to Swarga or Naraka. Giving a cowe to some one who sells it for money the minute after receiving it is a meaningless ritual. Dahan Samskara etc are done to the body which is mere material made and we are told it is inferior to Atma. Then, why give importace to such mundane object and its disposal.

 

If one can do dahana Samskara to Atma, it may be different. But Atma is ayama daahyo ayama kledyo asosha etc (cf. ch.2 of BG). So You cant do anything to Atma - its upward or down wad journey.

 

YAT YAT BHAVYAM POORVA KARMA ANUROOPAM

 

aPUTRAH GATIH NAASTI IS PURE SUPERSTITION. Just ignore it.

 

Krishna

---------------

Reverend Sirs,The question of why a son is preferred over a daughter in Hindu society, which appears to be difficult from the religious point of view, is extremely simple from the scientific point of view:" Because Hindu society is patriarchal"In this matter all patriarchal societies, Hindu or any other, have the same reaction.They prefer sons to daughters despite the well known fact: "A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life"Respectfully,Jasmer Singh

----------

Dear Sadaks,Importance to given to son over daughter, is pure ignorance. If one understands at intellect level as Sri Kuldeep said, it is past Karmaic effect, then that person is divine soul. But 99 .9% human understand Karmic effect ONLY by mere bookish knowledge or just by words. There are 3 saints well known in Vaishavite and shivite who are examples. One such eminent one lived 350 years ago Sant Poothanam in Kerala- Malapuram. In THE Hindu and other renouned news papers article were also published about this saint. After few years of married life this saint was blessed with a son. On the 1st anniversary of the child the it dies by carelessness of guest invited for that anniversary. Least affected, he sang, " When I have the child Krishna in my heart dwelling, why should I think of the one (his child) died due to its Karma". People heard the jigling sound of child Krishna leg bracelet approaching the Sant and sound stoped on sant Lap. This sant left for divine abode in presence of all villagers by Puspaka Viman. It is fitting for him for his chetan and faith and Bakthi. Most of us for a small disturbance, the mind gets upset. Then we are evaluate ourselves where we stand. We are to long way.

B.Sathyanarayan---------

 

Dear Kuldeep,Ram Ram. You have got the right answer. It does not make difference whether you have son or daughter. When we are old, daughter's can easily take care of us as they are naturally softhearted and loving.In current times, those people who give more importance to son, don't know the basics of human relationship. Sanatan dharma teaches us contentment (santosh). We should be happy with what we have.Also, it teaches us that self is not body and we should not give importance to inert body.So take care of your daughters and sons, seeing Krishna in them. If you truly believe in it, then also see Krishna in your mother and wife and serve them with that understanding.Ram Ram,Gaurav Mittal

--------------------

Doesnt really make any difference that u have a son or not,

since if every one have son than whom they will marry and how srishti will go on?

raja gurdasani

----------------------

 

--------------------

Dear Sadhakas, namaste!"What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?"It should not make any difference, really! Son, daughter, or none, spouses should remain happy in all situations! The one who understands Gita learns to remain in equanimity! Besides, the track record of those who have sons is not any particularly better than those who don't have any or have daughters! Children are welcome gift from God, not to accept them is to be rude to God! To accept them is to raise them to be honest citizens of the world!It may be that in older societies, the issue was economic hardship to raise daughters in a way to keep their characters impeccable and then marry them with dawry! Even though it is disappearing tradition now, it may be still carried out in some societies!All such problems are human created out of selfishness!Let us enjoy situations we are placed in and be grateful for them by making them opportunities to Realize TRUTH!Namaskar......Pratap Bhatt--------------------

===========================================GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE - FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to feedback at end of dicussion to bring closure and commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. RESPECT all Sadhaks. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be BRIEF, RELEVANT (stay with the subject being discussed only)

5. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person6. All responses may not be posted.

7. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.GITA TALK MODERATORSRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -

[Guest guest]

Dear Sadhak CommunityI would like to ask one question.

What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?

We see in our society that people give importance to birth of a son over a daughter. I suppose whatever we receive in life or post-life is based on our own Deeds, then why people give so much importance to having at least one son. I would like Sadhakas to express their views on this subject.

Kind Regards,

A Sadhak

Kuldeep

 

NEW POSTING

Shree Hari

Ram Ram

Whether the child is a girl or a boy, or one has no child, what difference does it make? Not in the least bit. If there was a difference, then would it escape Bhagwaan in sharing this? Gita has said nothing about this topic. So be it,

Vineet Sarvottam

--------------------------------

 

 

 

 

Why would one seek a son rather than a daughter?

 

 

 

Due to lack of explicit assurance of a male's progeny in life, the insecured males being physically stronger have enforced a patriarchal system in most human societies today. Accepting the social facts, the scriptures assign certain rites to the sons rather than the daughters when the parents seek the abode of death.

 

 

 

I lost my dear mother last month when I was visiting her regularly and went through all the rituals as per her wish. The experience is deeply enlightening. On contrary to the general appreciation, my appreciation is that all the rituals are designed for the living ones and not for the departed ones! In fact, the rites are a kind of hands-on training for the ritualist to appreciate the Vedaantic revelations as the opportunty is opened to observe and study the ramifications life and death in a very close encounter with the juncture of life and death.

 

 

 

Obviously, the most affected ones from the death are the ones who lived with the departed ones. In a patriarchal society, that would be obviously the sons. The daughters having migrated away from their parents into different family with different backgrounds would not be as affected as the ones who are very next to the gates of death. The rituals are prescribed for the ones who are haunted by the fears of death from close quarters to begin with and are also intended to educate the same with ultimate truths revealed in the Upanishats.

 

 

 

Obviously, the true intent of the rituals are twisted, as usual to any ageing culture, resulting in a strong belief that the rituals are designed for the departed ones - to empower them to attain the heavens and even emancipation. It is an absurd belief as it defies all the codes of our philosophical revelations ... one cannot attain Moksha even in thousand births in spite of entering the holy Ganges and many austerities hundred times a day without the true and truthful appreciation of The Truth as such ... Shankara says bringing out the gist of all our Upanishats:

 

 

 

Kuru te gangaa saagaragamanam vrata paripaalanamathavaa daanam |

 

Gnyaanaviheenah sarvamatena bhajati na muktim janmashatena ||

 

 

 

But, the power of social beliefs transcends the reaches of philosophy, as always … the belief that the posthumous rituals bring heavens and liberation to the departed ones would obviously inculcate the notion in all the parents that the one who conducts the rituals is the savior at the end. Who are prescribed with the rituals? The sons. Obviously, they see their posthumous saviors in their sons ... and they seek to beget sons at any cost ... an unfortunate story of how humans get consumed by their own superstitious ignorance and stupidity ...

 

 

 

A matriarchal society would, in all probability, develop a notion to seek daughters over sons in the same way!

 

 

 

If the daughters are with the parents (and, even if they are not), they too are entitled for the enlightening experience (if they want to). As a matter of fact, anyone is entitled to such an experience at any time … like the great gentleman in Chennai who conducts posthumous rituals for all the unclaimed dead bodies he comes across ...

 

 

 

Respects.

 

 

 

 

Naga Narayana.

-------

Dear Sadhaks,

True it matters little if you have a son. daughter or none. It is nobody's right to have a child. But I am worried of my old age. If I follow the four periods of Hindu life then Sanyasi will be taken care of by the other sanyasi. But in this age you have to have a son,daughter or Old Men Home. The last one is dependent on the Govt. officer's mercy. Your own child is expected to be more attached to you. Hence some one you need. Son was preferred because he inherits the accumulated property. The daughter now too can demand share in it. But when it happens then the family members of the daughter may get more greedy and think of getting rid of the old, unwanted liability. Also the Sanatan Dharm gave rights to perform the Antim Sanskar to the son. It is the son who is supposed to perform annual rites of his parents. The daughter is not, neither wold her family let her do that. Then please look again. The Sanatan is Sanatan and is well founded on scriptures. Going by Geeta what does it matter if Aswasthama killed the offsprings of Pandavas. But it did matter and so he was given the curse.

I live in Delhi in a colony where there are quite a few persons having none from their own family. They hire help and are exposed to the danger of being killed by the help or her friends. Two of my personal friends were with their daughter. One is living the other expired for little care. I think either we should revive the old system or create more old homes by genuinely helpful persons .

Shridhar Pant

 

 

 

 

 

Why should one (particularly, a spiritual seeker) seek children?

 

 

 

Most fundamental urge with which all the beings are born is progeny - to extend their genetic lineage through their offsprings. Spirituality bears an additional burden of releiving the seeker from all the urges rather than hushing them up. Therefore, the scriptures insist that one should respect and address the deepest urge one is infested with - to have children.

 

 

 

A very close associate of a reputed Swamiji was telling me an interesting experience. When the Swamiji was on his death bed, he told the gentleman who also happened to be the teacher for Swamiji in his poorvaashrama that he missed what it would be like being a family man. The learned teacher who was a Samsaari vehemently replied that nothing is missed in not being married at all. The Swamiji says that what was told was mere lip-level information for him because he never experienced the same.

 

 

 

The scriptures insist for all normal people to follow the codes of Chaturaashrama - life in four PROGRESSIVE stages - youth (Baalya), family life (Gaarhastya), retired life (Vaanaprastha) and emancipation (Sannyaasa) to appreciate all facets of life and the associated emotional baggage and freedom before proceeding to emancipation. There could be exceptions of Shankara and RamaNa who are very clear that they are ready for the FOURTH stage from the FIRST directly. For the rest, it is very important that we are ready for the FOURTH! Otherwise, instead of benefitting from spirituality, we end up in deeper miseries in all probability.

 

 

 

The reproductive urge is the most deeprooted in everyone that one could pretend easily to have overcome but that has not left the individual. Forgetting or ignoring to cater to such deeprooted needs would forfeit the seeker from the fruits of spirituality and would push him into deeper miseries than one would have entered in the regular process of life.

 

 

 

Therefore, the scriptures insist the seeker to cater to this urge before it is too late - to have children. If one is very clear about the absence of this need within, one could and one would definitely plunge into the FOURTH wasting no further time like Shankara and RamaNa did. After all, Shastras are not for such realized ones! They are designed for the regular people who want to move toward realization and who need assistance in the same. Therefore, it becomes extremely necessary for the Shastras to remind the seeker forcefully of his obligations toward his instinctive urges of life and living. The urges SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN UP in Sannyaasa ... when the urges are retired naturally, Sannyaasa raises from within.

 

 

 

Therefore, the Shastras insist that one without children (in other words, one who neglected or ignored to cater to the desires for children) would forfeit entry to the heavens in spite of the perceived spiritual knowledge gained in life. Spiritual awareness should have mitigated all desires categorically ... one with no desires is not bound by any Shastra or anything else anymore anyway ...

 

 

 

Respects.

 

 

 

Naga Narayana.

 

-

Shree Hari

Ram Ram

Whether a child is boy or a girl, or there is no child at all, what difference does it make? Not in the least bit. If it has made a difference, then would Bhagwaan (God) miss telling about it? In Gita there is no mention of this. So be it.

Vineet Sarvottam

-----------------------

Dear Sadaks,

Not one sadak posted that Son or Daughter is with reference to body not athuman which is one and the same..

One Sadak posted, {"Pitr Karma etc are acts of honouring the departed soul but they do not push the Atma to Swarga or Naraka."}

In Srimath Bagavath, please read Gokarn history, as to how he pushed his elder brother Athuman from suffering to Swarg. There are number of example I can quote from our scripts. By Vedic rule (God` s rule) that only sons have right to perform dead parent ritual. But in case a person does not have son or his son died, then he has to do self Sardha at Bradrinath for himself before death, which is equaling to a son performing rituals. There is in Veda that if a man gets a son, he has to jump in well saying he has got son by Gods gift. This does not mean that a girl child is inferior by Vedic rights.

Another Sadak Posted {"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life"} This is also with to dependability on children NOT on Sri Kruishna. In many cases known to me, daughter or son both are busy now a days. So aged homes have come up. I met a couple who has 2 sons and 3 daughter in aged home. They said, "My son calls over phone every week end and my daughter calls me at least twice in a week." I told them that someone (God) is going to call you only once and that is the end. So entrust yourselves to Bagavan. Even after your children leaving you people in aged home, you are still thinking of your children NOT Bagavan."". That gave them realization to the extent that they are immersed in Bajans, saying Slokas and telling Sri Krishna that HE is their only Son.

Another Sadak posted a blow to mind, "since if every one have son than whom they will marry and how srishti will go on?" Logical question and also has spiritual value.

B.Sathyanarayan

----------------------------

Hari OmOne thing is very clear that one of the 'aishnas' (desires) commonly found across the humanity is 'putreshna'. (desire to have a son). In fact in Scriptures we come across even Great Kings like Dashratha (Father of Lord Rama) etc having done austerities (yagyas) to get a son. This appears to be a 'natural' desire too ... This also appears to be in tandem with Laws of Nature as the "creation" proceeds only by reproduction. Precisely for this reason , perhaps, in desire for mating between legitimate spouses- "in KAMA" - God has stated in Gita... I am that KAMA- that very desire (7:12) THIS IS ONE ASPECT.At the same time it is also true that to fulfill any desire ...however natural or genuine that desire may be.. is not within the hands of a human. It is also true that FOR YOUR LIBERATION and accomplishing the purpose of human life even marriage is not compulsory what to talk of having a son or daughter !! ACTUALLY NOT AT ALL NECESSARY.As regards a son or a daughter...I don't think any options are ever available in this regard to any one. It is not at all in your hands. This desire CANNOT be granted universally to all by Mother Nature. Because in that case.. May be that ALL would want 'son' only... The very creation cycle would come to a grinding halt. Hence in 'Karma Kanda' type Scriptures there are provisions for austerities, yagyas, penances, invocations, prayers, boons etc... in case you have too over whelming a desire.But in all cases the verdict of Laws of Nature has to be supreme. Hence to rejoice if a son is born and to get sad if a daughter is born or to regret if no child is born etc is simply a stupidity and carrying forward of a desire which in all cases produces sorrow only - may even put you again into the cycle of... birth and death !There is one story in Shrimad Bhagvatam where a father grieves upon the death of his only son; requests a Saint to help him, Saint calls the soul of the son to re-enter the dead body if he wants. (Departed) Son refused... giving argument that many times I have become father and you have become a son..many times vice versa...these relationships are contractual obligations arising out of operation of Law of Karma... Once the obligations are over..who is father, who is son...each soul proceeds its own way.TO SUM UP- it does not make any difference whether you have a son or daughter or a child or do not have any . In fact if you have...you have more duties...more attachment...more chances of your getting entangled in MAYA. In Gita .. Remaining 'unattached' to wife, son, home etc is one of the essential characteristics for a Jnani Bhakta ( 13: 8) ! Pranaams to all SadhaksSarve Bhavantu SukhinaNarottam -----------------------

Gita says that one has the right to work/ action but not over the conseqience of the the work or action. Thus, one cannot have right to get a son or daughter. Still some one may prefer to have a son. But that is desire to satisfy some want in the mind of the person. Gita says one should better avoid having any desire. Still a person may believe that by having a son rather than a daughter he might achieve one or more of the following: (a) continuation of the dynasty, (b) son may be able to take better care of the parents in old age,© daugter have to be married off to another family at great cost and such other things. These are perceived differences between having a son and not having a son or having a daughter. The actual results may vary case to case. But the important point is that all these preferences for sons, daughters etc are nothing but desires and no one can guarantee that these desires will be fulfilled by having a son. Many daughters take care of parents in old age better than sons, many parents die before they are old enough to need son's care, son's die before their parents become old and need care. One may have sons but thesons may not have sons and dynasty/ lineage breaks down. Having dynasty may not fulfill further desires as the parents would have died long before the dynasty suffers. Yet, some peole still would like to have a son rather than a daughter. This is an Illusion. There may be some others, may be a small percentage of parents who like to have only dauthers, and some other people want both daughters and sons. All these are pursuits in illusion. People have no control over the consequences of their action to procreate. Itis the desire and ego that drives parents through such desires.

Basudeb Sen

------

 

Honestly it makes no difference. It is misleading and mischeivous superstition that has been handed from generation to the next that "Aputrasys Gatih Na asthi. The 'Gat' or the destination of an individual is determined by what he/she has done when in the body. His going to uttama Gati or Neeca Gati is solely o his making. It does not and logically can not have anything to do with his son's work. Pitr Karma etc are acts of honouring the departed soul but they do not push the Atma to Swarga or Naraka. Giving a cowe to some one who sells it for money the minute after receiving it is a meaningless ritual. Dahan Samskara etc are done to the body which is mere material made and we are told it is inferior to Atma. Then, why give importace to such mundane object and its disposal.

 

If one can do dahana Samskara to Atma, it may be different. But Atma is ayama daahyo ayama kledyo asosha etc (cf. ch.2 of BG). So You cant do anything to Atma - its upward or down wad journey.

 

YAT YAT BHAVYAM POORVA KARMA ANUROOPAM

 

aPUTRAH GATIH NAASTI IS PURE SUPERSTITION. Just ignore it.

 

Krishna

---------------

Reverend Sirs,The question of why a son is preferred over a daughter in Hindu society, which appears to be difficult from the religious point of view, is extremely simple from the scientific point of view:" Because Hindu society is patriarchal"In this matter all patriarchal societies, Hindu or any other, have the same reaction.They prefer sons to daughters despite the well known fact: "A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life"Respectfully,Jasmer Singh

----------

Dear Sadaks,Importance to given to son over daughter, is pure ignorance. If one understands at intellect level as Sri Kuldeep said, it is past Karmaic effect, then that person is divine soul. But 99 .9% human understand Karmic effect ONLY by mere bookish knowledge or just by words. There are 3 saints well known in Vaishavite and shivite who are examples. One such eminent one lived 350 years ago Sant Poothanam in Kerala- Malapuram. In THE Hindu and other renouned news papers article were also published about this saint. After few years of married life this saint was blessed with a son. On the 1st anniversary of the child the it dies by carelessness of guest invited for that anniversary. Least affected, he sang, " When I have the child Krishna in my heart dwelling, why should I think of the one (his child) died due to its Karma". People heard the jigling sound of child Krishna leg bracelet approaching the Sant and sound stoped on sant Lap. This sant left for divine abode in presence of all villagers by Puspaka Viman. It is fitting for him for his chetan and faith and Bakthi. Most of us for a small disturbance, the mind gets upset. Then we are evaluate ourselves where we stand. We are to long way.

B.Sathyanarayan---------

 

Dear Kuldeep,Ram Ram. You have got the right answer. It does not make difference whether you have son or daughter. When we are old, daughter's can easily take care of us as they are naturally softhearted and loving.In current times, those people who give more importance to son, don't know the basics of human relationship. Sanatan dharma teaches us contentment (santosh). We should be happy with what we have.Also, it teaches us that self is not body and we should not give importance to inert body.So take care of your daughters and sons, seeing Krishna in them. If you truly believe in it, then also see Krishna in your mother and wife and serve them with that understanding.Ram Ram,Gaurav Mittal

--------------------

Doesnt really make any difference that u have a son or not,

since if every one have son than whom they will marry and how srishti will go on?

raja gurdasani

----------------------

 

--------------------

Dear Sadhakas, namaste!"What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?"It should not make any difference, really! Son, daughter, or none, spouses should remain happy in all situations! The one who understands Gita learns to remain in equanimity! Besides, the track record of those who have sons is not any particularly better than those who don't have any or have daughters! Children are welcome gift from God, not to accept them is to be rude to God! To accept them is to raise them to be honest citizens of the world!It may be that in older societies, the issue was economic hardship to raise daughters in a way to keep their characters impeccable and then marry them with dawry! Even though it is disappearing tradition now, it may be still carried out in some societies!All such problems are human created out of selfishness!Let us enjoy situations we are placed in and be grateful for them by making them opportunities to Realize TRUTH!Namaskar......Pratap Bhatt--------------------

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Dear Sadhak CommunityI would like to ask one question.What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?We see in our society that people give importance to birth of a son over a daughter. I suppose whatever we receive in life or post-life is based on our own Deeds, then why people give so much importance to having at least one son. I would like Sadhakas to express their views on this subject.Kind Regards,A SadhakKuldeepNEW POSTINGnarayan ,narayanThis is all false idea (delusion) of the mind. whether child is a boy or a girl, what difference does it make? The bestower is the One above. Being childless is also cause of suffering and if the child turns out to be a bad son, then one dies out of suffering, then too there is sorrow. What son is going to take you to heaven, or what daughter is going to take away the ladder to heaven ? This question has no logic. What guarantee is there that a boy will serve you? What surety is there that he will earn money and give to you> Do you have any answers to these questions? Then why are you unnecessarily racking your brain in such matters? IN HINDIye sab man ke vaham hein. bachha-ladka hein ya ladki he. us se kya farak padtahein. uper wale ki den hein. jab bachha na ho tho dukh our hoker kapot nikalgayetho dukh hoker mar jaye tho dukh our ladka konsa aapko swarg me lejayega ourladki apke swarag ki sidi chen legi.ye swal ka koi logik nahi hein. ladka aapkiseva karega uski kya garntee hein. our apko kamakar dega iska kya bharosa hein.he is bat ka javab. tho phir matha khapane ka kya ochitya hein.Ramchandra -------------------------Hari OmWhile my views remain the same on the subject as stated in my earlier message- I must say that the views of Sadhak Sridharji Pant and of Nagaji ( his two views are posted- I am referring here to his message under caption 'Why one should seek children) are really worth reading and are very true. Surprising another message by Nagaji almost is opposite and is highly controversial.Once you enter Gruhastha (household life) - to have children, particularly a son, is a genuine goal of a human including - I repeat including- a Sadhak. That he gets that or not is altogether a different thing. That he suffers/enjoys to getting/not getting is again a different thing. Scriptures rightly, therefore, provide for the same, permit the same.The rituals which a son does after the death of his parents is a part of his prescribed duty. He must do that. He must pay respects to those who facilitated his taking human form of life. He must always remain grateful to them. There are 'pittarlokas' ( Lokas where father is after death) and whatever is offered with respect to them by his sons is received by them in some form. One must believe this. There is nothing wrong or no absurdity in this belief. Soul is immortal. But the departed soul is impacted by acts of sons ( doing rituals or not after death) only if they desired. If they did not desire any such 'favors' from sons- they do not get impacted. But if they desired...they get / do not get based on how son has performed his duty.In any case the answer to basic Q remains the same- NO DIFFERENCE when you consider Liberation.Pranaams to all sadhaks.Sarve Bhavantu Sukhina.Narottam -------------------------------Dear Sadaks,Sri Naga Narayan enlightenment on his mother death is called, "Smasana Vairag", ( one experiences this all the life) which everyone gets on death of their near ones. But it slowly discipates over few weeks and the person is back in the same square hole again. Also the rituals performed by Sri N.Narayana is not for departed as said by him, but it is to fullfil the duty of a person for his departed parents. The duty is Karma Bandhathu says Sastras.Ganga Snan may not give Mukthi, but defenately gives push in next birth to mix in Sat Sangh. Sat Sangh and Guru and Bagavan kripa does not come to one who has lived as he liked without, Ganga Snan, puja, stora Etc. Indirectly is is said, Ganga Snan gives Mukthi, which meant NOT in same birth but over next next births. Only Bagavan in Geetha said that HE can give Mukthi in same birth. I can explain clearly if required by Sadaks.B.Sathyanarayan-------------------------------Shree HariRam Ram Whether the child is a girl or a boy, or one has no child, what difference does it make? Not in the least bit. If there was a difference, then would it escape Bhagwaan in sharing this? Gita has said nothing about this topic. So be it, Vineet Sarvottam --------------------------------Why would one seek a son rather than a daughter? Due to lack of explicit assurance of a male's progeny in life, the insecured males being physically stronger have enforced a patriarchal system in most human societies today. Accepting the social facts, the scriptures assign certain rites to the sons rather than the daughters when the parents seek the abode of death. I lost my dear mother last month when I was visiting her regularly and went through all the rituals as per her wish. The experience is deeply enlightening. On contrary to the general appreciation, my appreciation is that all the rituals are designed for the living ones and not for the departed ones! In fact, the rites are a kind of hands-on training for the ritualist to appreciate the Vedaantic revelations as the opportunty is opened to observe and study the ramifications life and death in a very close encounter with the juncture of life and death. Obviously, the most affected ones from the death are the ones who lived with the departed ones. In a patriarchal society, that would be obviously the sons. The daughters having migrated away from their parents into different family with different backgrounds would not be as affected as the ones who are very next to the gates of death. The rituals are prescribed for the ones who are haunted by the fears of death from close quarters to begin with and are also intended to educate the same with ultimate truths revealed in the Upanishats. Obviously, the true intent of the rituals are twisted, as usual to any ageing culture, resulting in a strong belief that the rituals are designed for the departed ones - to empower them to attain the heavens and even emancipation. It is an absurd belief as it defies all the codes of our philosophical revelations ... one cannot attain Moksha even in thousand births in spite of entering the holy Ganges and many austerities hundred times a day without the true and truthful appreciation of The Truth as such ... Shankara says bringing out the gist of all our Upanishats: Kuru te gangaa saagaragamanam vrata paripaalanamathavaa daanam | Gnyaanaviheenah sarvamatena bhajati na muktim janmashatena || But, the power of social beliefs transcends the reaches of philosophy, as always … the belief that the posthumous rituals bring heavens and liberation to the departed ones would obviously inculcate the notion in all the parents that the one who conducts the rituals is the savior at the end. Who are prescribed with the rituals? The sons. Obviously, they see their posthumous saviors in their sons ... and they seek to beget sons at any cost ... an unfortunate story of how humans get consumed by their own superstitious ignorance and stupidity ... A matriarchal society would, in all probability, develop a notion to seek daughters over sons in the same way!If the daughters are with the parents (and, even if they are not), they too are entitled for the enlightening experience (if they want to). As a matter of fact, anyone is entitled to such an experience at any time … like the great gentleman in Chennai who conducts posthumous rituals for all the unclaimed dead bodies he comes across ... Respects.Naga Narayana.-------Dear Sadhaks,True it matters little if you have a son. daughter or none. It is nobody's right to have a child. But I am worried of my old age. If I follow the four periods of Hindu life then Sanyasi will be taken care of by the other sanyasi. But in this age you have to have a son,daughter or Old Men Home. The last one is dependent on the Govt. officer's mercy. Your own child is expected to be more attached to you. Hence some one you need. Son was preferred because he inherits the accumulated property. The daughter now too can demand share in it. But when it happens then the family members of the daughter may get more greedy and think of getting rid of the old, unwanted liability. Also the Sanatan Dharm gave rights to perform the Antim Sanskar to the son. It is the son who is supposed to perform annual rites of his parents. The daughter is not, neither wold her family let her do that. Then please look again. The Sanatan is Sanatan and is well founded on scriptures. Going by Geeta what does it matter if Aswasthama killed the offsprings of Pandavas. But it did matter and so he was given the curse.I live in Delhi in a colony where there are quite a few persons having none from their own family. They hire help and are exposed to the danger of being killed by the help or her friends. Two of my personal friends were with their daughter. One is living the other expired for little care. I think either we should revive the old system or create more old homes by genuinely helpful persons .Shridhar PantWhy should one (particularly, a spiritual seeker) seek children? Most fundamental urge with which all the beings are born is progeny - to extend their genetic lineage through their offsprings. Spirituality bears an additional burden of releiving the seeker from all the urges rather than hushing them up. Therefore, the scriptures insist that one should respect and address the deepest urge one is infested with - to have children. A very close associate of a reputed Swamiji was telling me an interesting experience. When the Swamiji was on his death bed, he told the gentleman who also happened to be the teacher for Swamiji in his poorvaashrama that he missed what it would be like being a family man. The learned teacher who was a Samsaari vehemently replied that nothing is missed in not being married at all. The Swamiji says that what was told was mere lip-level information for him because he never experienced the same. The scriptures insist for all normal people to follow the codes of Chaturaashrama - life in four PROGRESSIVE stages - youth (Baalya), family life (Gaarhastya), retired life (Vaanaprastha) and emancipation (Sannyaasa) to appreciate all facets of life and the associated emotional baggage and freedom before proceeding to emancipation. There could be exceptions of Shankara and RamaNa who are very clear that they are ready for the FOURTH stage from the FIRST directly. For the rest, it is very important that we are ready for the FOURTH! Otherwise, instead of benefitting from spirituality, we end up in deeper miseries in all probability. The reproductive urge is the most deeprooted in everyone that one could pretend easily to have overcome but that has not left the individual. Forgetting or ignoring to cater to such deeprooted needs would forfeit the seeker from the fruits of spirituality and would push him into deeper miseries than one would have entered in the regular process of life. Therefore, the scriptures insist the seeker to cater to this urge before it is too late - to have children. If one is very clear about the absence of this need within, one could and one would definitely plunge into the FOURTH wasting no further time like Shankara and RamaNa did. After all, Shastras are not for such realized ones! They are designed for the regular people who want to move toward realization and who need assistance in the same. Therefore, it becomes extremely necessary for the Shastras to remind the seeker forcefully of his obligations toward his instinctive urges of life and living. The urges SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN UP in Sannyaasa ... when the urges are retired naturally, Sannyaasa raises from within. Therefore, the Shastras insist that one without children (in other words, one who neglected or ignored to cater to the desires for children) would forfeit entry to the heavens in spite of the perceived spiritual knowledge gained in life. Spiritual awareness should have mitigated all desires categorically ... one with no desires is not bound by any Shastra or anything else anymore anyway ... Respects.Naga Narayana. -Shree Hari Ram Ram Whether a child is boy or a girl, or there is no child at all, what difference does it make? Not in the least bit. If it has made a difference, then would Bhagwaan (God) miss telling about it? In Gita there is no mention of this. So be it. Vineet Sarvottam -----------------------Dear Sadaks,Not one sadak posted that Son or Daughter is with reference to body not athuman which is one and the same..One Sadak posted, {"Pitr Karma etc are acts of honouring the departed soul but they do not push the Atma to Swarga or Naraka."}In Srimath Bagavath, please read Gokarn history, as to how he pushed his elder brother Athuman from suffering to Swarg. There are number of example I can quote from our scripts. By Vedic rule (God` s rule) that only sons have right to perform dead parent ritual. But in case a person does not have son or his son died, then he has to do self Sardha at Bradrinath for himself before death, which is equaling to a son performing rituals. There is in Veda that if a man gets a son, he has to jump in well saying he has got son by Gods gift. This does not mean that a girl child is inferior by Vedic rights.Another Sadak Posted {"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life"} This is also with to dependability on children NOT on Sri Kruishna. In many cases known to me, daughter or son both are busy now a days. So aged homes have come up. I met a couple who has 2 sons and 3 daughter in aged home. They said, "My son calls over phone every week end and my daughter calls me at least twice in a week." I told them that someone (God) is going to call you only once and that is the end. So entrust yourselves to Bagavan. Even after your children leaving you people in aged home, you are still thinking of your children NOT Bagavan."". That gave them realization to the extent that they are immersed in Bajans, saying Slokas and telling Sri Krishna that HE is their only Son.Another Sadak posted a blow to mind, "since if every one have son than whom they will marry and how srishti will go on?" Logical question and also has spiritual value.B.Sathyanarayan----------------------------Hari OmOne thing is very clear that one of the 'aishnas' (desires) commonly found across the humanity is 'putreshna'. (desire to have a son). In fact in Scriptures we come across even Great Kings like Dashratha (Father of Lord Rama) etc having done austerities (yagyas) to get a son. This appears to be a 'natural' desire too ... This also appears to be in tandem with Laws of Nature as the "creation" proceeds only by reproduction. Precisely for this reason , perhaps, in desire for mating between legitimate spouses- "in KAMA" - God has stated in Gita... I am that KAMA- that very desire (7:12) THIS IS ONE ASPECT.At the same time it is also true that to fulfill any desire ...however natural or genuine that desire may be.. is not within the hands of a human. It is also true that FOR YOUR LIBERATION and accomplishing the purpose of human life even marriage is not compulsory what to talk of having a son or daughter !! ACTUALLY NOT AT ALL NECESSARY.As regards a son or a daughter...I don't think any options are ever available in this regard to any one. It is not at all in your hands. This desire CANNOT be granted universally to all by Mother Nature. Because in that case.. May be that ALL would want 'son' only... The very creation cycle would come to a grinding halt. Hence in 'Karma Kanda' type Scriptures there are provisions for austerities, yagyas, penances, invocations, prayers, boons etc... in case you have too over whelming a desire.But in all cases the verdict of Laws of Nature has to be supreme. Hence to rejoice if a son is born and to get sad if a daughter is born or to regret if no child is born etc is simply a stupidity and carrying forward of a desire which in all cases produces sorrow only - may even put you again into the cycle of... birth and death !There is one story in Shrimad Bhagvatam where a father grieves upon the death of his only son; requests a Saint to help him, Saint calls the soul of the son to re-enter the dead body if he wants. (Departed) Son refused... giving argument that many times I have become father and you have become a son..many times vice versa...these relationships are contractual obligations arising out of operation of Law of Karma... Once the obligations are over..who is father, who is son...each soul proceeds its own way.TO SUM UP- it does not make any difference whether you have a son or daughter or a child or do not have any . In fact if you have...you have more duties...more attachment...more chances of your getting entangled in MAYA. In Gita .. Remaining 'unattached' to wife, son, home etc is one of the essential characteristics for a Jnani Bhakta ( 13: 8) ! Pranaams to all SadhaksSarve Bhavantu SukhinaNarottam -----------------------Gita says that one has the right to work/ action but not over the conseqience of the the work or action. Thus, one cannot have right to get a son or daughter. Still some one may prefer to have a son. But that is desire to satisfy some want in the mind of the person. Gita says one should better avoid having any desire. Still a person may believe that by having a son rather than a daughter he might achieve one or more of the following: (a) continuation of the dynasty, (b) son may be able to take better care of the parents in old age,© daugter have to be married off to another family at great cost and such other things. These are perceived differences between having a son and not having a son or having a daughter. The actual results may vary case to case. But the important point is that all these preferences for sons, daughters etc are nothing but desires and no one can guarantee that these desires will be fulfilled by having a son. Many daughters take care of parents in old age better than sons, many parents die before they are old enough to need son's care, son's die before their parents become old and need care. One may have sons but thesons may not have sons and dynasty/ lineage breaks down. Having dynasty may not fulfill further desires as the parents would have died long before the dynasty suffers. Yet, some peole still would like to have a son rather than a daughter. This is an Illusion. There may be some others, may be a small percentage of parents who like to have only dauthers, and some other people want both daughters and sons. All these are pursuits in illusion. People have no control over the consequences of their action to procreate. Itis the desire and ego that drives parents through such desires.Basudeb Sen------Honestly it makes no difference. It is misleading and mischeivous superstition that has been handed from generation to the next that "Aputrasys Gatih Na asthi. The 'Gat' or the destination of an individual is determined by what he/she has done when in the body. His going to uttama Gati or Neeca Gati is solely o his making. It does not and logically can not have anything to do with his son's work. Pitr Karma etc are acts of honouring the departed soul but they do not push the Atma to Swarga or Naraka. Giving a cowe to some one who sells it for money the minute after receiving it is a meaningless ritual. Dahan Samskara etc are done to the body which is mere material made and we are told it is inferior to Atma. Then, why give importace to such mundane object and its disposal. If one can do dahana Samskara to Atma, it may be different. But Atma is ayama daahyo ayama kledyo asosha etc (cf. ch.2 of BG). So You cant do anything to Atma - its upward or down wad journey. YAT YAT BHAVYAM POORVA KARMA ANUROOPAM aPUTRAH GATIH NAASTI IS PURE SUPERSTITION. Just ignore it. Krishna---------------Reverend Sirs,The question of why a son is preferred over a daughter in Hindu society, which appears to be difficult from the religious point of view, is extremely simple from the scientific point of view:" Because Hindu society is patriarchal"In this matter all patriarchal societies, Hindu or any other, have the same reaction.They prefer sons to daughters despite the well known fact: "A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life"Respectfully,Jasmer Singh----------Dear Sadaks,Importance to given to son over daughter, is pure ignorance. If one understands at intellect level as Sri Kuldeep said, it is past Karmaic effect, then that person is divine soul. But 99 .9% human understand Karmic effect ONLY by mere bookish knowledge or just by words. There are 3 saints well known in Vaishavite and shivite who are examples. One such eminent one lived 350 years ago Sant Poothanam in Kerala- Malapuram. In THE Hindu and other renouned news papers article were also published about this saint. After few years of married life this saint was blessed with a son. On the 1st anniversary of the child the it dies by carelessness of guest invited for that anniversary. Least affected, he sang, " When I have the child Krishna in my heart dwelling, why should I think of the one (his child) died due to its Karma". People heard the jigling sound of child Krishna leg bracelet approaching the Sant and sound stoped on sant Lap. This sant left for divine abode in presence of all villagers by Puspaka Viman. It is fitting for him for his chetan and faith and Bakthi. Most of us for a small disturbance, the mind gets upset. Then we are evaluate ourselves where we stand. We are to long way.B.Sathyanarayan--------- Dear Kuldeep,Ram Ram. You have got the right answer. It does not make difference whether you have son or daughter. When we are old, daughter's can easily take care of us as they are naturally softhearted and loving.In current times, those people who give more importance to son, don't know the basics of human relationship. Sanatan dharma teaches us contentment (santosh). We should be happy with what we have.Also, it teaches us that self is not body and we should not give importance to inert body.So take care of your daughters and sons, seeing Krishna in them. If you truly believe in it, then also see Krishna in your mother and wife and serve them with that understanding.Ram Ram,Gaurav Mittal--------------------Doesnt really make any difference that u have a son or not,since if every one have son than whom they will marry and how srishti will go on?raja gurdasani---------------------- --------------------Dear Sadhakas, namaste!"What difference does it make if you have a son or if you don't have one?"It should not make any difference, really! Son, daughter, or none, spouses should remain happy in all situations! The one who understands Gita learns to remain in equanimity! Besides, the track record of those who have sons is not any particularly better than those who don't have any or have daughters! Children are welcome gift from God, not to accept them is to be rude to God! To accept them is to raise them to be honest citizens of the world!It may be that in older societies, the issue was economic hardship to raise daughters in a way to keep their characters impeccable and then marry them with dawry! Even though it is disappearing tradition now, it may be still carried out in some societies!All such problems are human created out of selfishness!Let us enjoy situations we are placed in and be grateful for them by making them opportunities to Realize TRUTH!Namaskar......Pratap Bhatt--------------------===========================================GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES: PLEASE - FOR QUESTIONER1. The questions as far as possible must be relevant to Gita, relevant toDharma, relavant to other scriptures and relevant to motivate Sadhaks to take upspiritual path2. The Questioner must commit to feedback at end of dicussion to bring closure and commit to daily Gita study3. Only one question at a time.4. Question must be brief, to the point and relevant to the group's primary aimof deeper understanding of Gita.GITA TALK GROUP GUIDELINES for RESPONDER: PLEASE -1. Only responses that further clarify Gita message will be posted.2. Quote Gitaji/scriptures wherever possible.3. RESPECT all Sadhaks. Limit personal feelings, opinions, beliefs etc. to the extent that they further help in understanding the Gita shlokas4. Be BRIEF, RELEVANT (stay with the subject being discussed only) 5. Do not include links to the other sites; personal information (Ph #, addressetc) or personalize message to particular person6. All responses may not be posted.7. Please keep in mind novices, youth, westerners, non-sectarian audience. Limitthe use to Sanskrit words and provide English word bracketed.GITA TALK MODERATORSRam Ram------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------Post message: Subscribe: - Unsubscribe: -