Annie/Logic, Choice, and Language

[Guest guest]

Dear Annie,

 

At 06:24 AM 2/10/2000 GMT, you wrote:

> " Annie Heppingstone " <heppo

 

>>By the way, some people might state that 'Annie' *is* her ego (a >scary

>>proposition, eh?).

>

>

>A:

>I'm not coming back here if you keep on saying things like that :-)

 

Well... :-)... (definitely no offense intended by what I said)...

 

According to some, the " person " is simply an accumulation of all past

thoughts, experiences and memories, and that *is* the ego. Some say the

ego should be done away with, some say that only *identification* with the

ego should be done away with, some say the ego can remain along with

" enlightenment " (I.E. there is nothing to be done away with).

 

And what do I say? I don't know anymore. Lately, I seem to know very

little. It seems that once I could have given you an answer that I would

have considered " the truth " rather than opinion, but just lately all truths

are starting to look a lot like opinions.

 

Funny... when I first found out about this nonduality thing and took up a

" spiritual path, " I seemed to know more about it than everybody else :-).

Then, as time went along, my knowledge seemed to " catch up " *downwardly*

and I knew about as much as anyone else did.

 

Now? I honestly have no answers anymore. I seem to know a lot less about

these " spiritual matters " than just about everyone I run into, and at this

point the number of " spiritual books " I've read might be well over 200.

 

I know many of the Buddhist and Hindu scriptures now. I know the sayings

of most of the well-known Gurus, and many of the lesser-known ones. And I

find my mind more confused and knowing less than it ever did. Not only

because I realize how much " knowledge " is out there, but also because so

much of it is contradictory in so many ways. And for other reasons that I

can't even put my finger on.

 

So anyway, tonight I read Herman Hesse's " Siddhartha " again for the first

time since I was a child... and at the part where he is about to commit

suicide by throwing himself into the river and instead hears the sound of

OM emanating from the river, and becomes immersed in OM and falls asleep

under the Bodhi tree... I began to weep, and my eyes have not yet dried.

Just thinking about it now again brings tears. Lately just about

everything seems deeply meaningful and moving, capable of bringing tears.

 

Maybe there is one thing I know for sure... Life is pure feeling, pure

experiencing. Mental knowledge is dead skin encapsulating the vibrating

unity of all life. The more I grow to understand that, deeply, the more

the dead skin of mental knowledge tends to simply slough off by itself.

 

I still find it fascinating to read spiritual books, and often find myself

taking up and agreeing with the words of the writer while reading. Then

the understanding seems to arise wordlessly and thoughtlessly that

awareness is simply identifying with an aspect of itself, and so it turns

out that everything in the book simply went " in one ear and out the other. "

Yet the interest continues. I like to hear the opinions of others on

spiritual matters. It just doesn't seem to " stick " anymore.

 

With Love,

 

Tim

 

-----

Sum Ergo Sum

 

Visit " The Core " Website at http://coresite.cjb.net -

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