Cassie/Tim

[Guest guest]

Laura, if you will indulge me for a moment, I would like to share a Lesson

from my days at the School of Metaphysics.

 

I The Ego

 

I, the Ego have been waxing fat off the land. I am that part of each of you

that says, " I did this and I did that. " I am Pride and Prestige.

 

I must be noticed or I cry and scream. As a child I have tantrums and as an

adult I cry. I am the introvert; shy and retiring when I have been hurt. I

respond to praise, notice compliments.

 

I will go to all ends to make you notice me; I laugh; I clown; I play the

Fool, the Sage, the Wise One, the Hurt One, the Persecuted One. I am even

the Murderer that all know and read about, for I will be noticed in one form

or another.

 

Jealous I am and when others climb up the ladder and I don't, I feel

insecure. When others are praised and I'm not, I feel invalidated. I give,

but always with a hook; you must acknowledge my gifts and tell me you like it

or I am hurt. For I have not learned to give through love and expect nothing.

 

If I do something I must see the result, and what is more important they must

know I did it for I must be recognized. I am very subtle when it serves my

ends and just when you think I am gone, I rear my head.

 

I am very vain and proud; tell me how great I am and I am happy. Don't let me

know how great I am and I will feel hurt and crawl back into my shell and

cry, " well fine, if that's the way you're going to act then I will not share

my gifts or my thoughts with you. No longer will I be your friend. " I retreat

and become more alone.

 

I don't like this spiritual life, for it threatens my life and makes me

uneasy. Pompous ceremonies are fine, but oh, these meditations are terribly

hard on me.

 

I don't like people who meditate because they begin thinking of others and

not me and wanting to help others and deny me. Why, I am made to sacrifice my

self in order that they can do things for others and.......I DON'T LIKE IT!!

 

Gads! It's horrible being in a body that does this meditating very long. Soon

I start screaming and having all kinds of tantrums; but, damn it, if they

continue in their meditations, then these little tricks of mine don't have

much effect on them and I'm unhappy. I try my darndest to make them feel

alone, unhappy, persecuted, unwanted, unloved, not belonging, sick, crabby,

restless, hungry, tired. Oh, I have all sorts of things I pull out of my bag

of tricks. For once I get my foot in the door I can play on the emotions in

one form or another. I want them to know what they are doing to me.

 

I hate spiritual people who are humble, gracious and loving. That's the worst

part of it all....LOVE...That Just Kills Me. Particularly this.......Universal

Love Bit......

 

When they persist in this Love and Meditation, I am so unhappy and I cry,

" you're killing me. " All they say to me is that my " carnal self dieth daily. "

Gads, that's me they are killing. Finally, I sink beside the bed crying out

for help. They are crucifying me on the cross of matter...Me, the Ego; The

Carnal Self. I plead, " Don't do this to me, we have been together for so

long; without you I am dead. "

 

All they say to me is, " you must die in on order that I may live, for by your

living, I, the soul am unhappy, and can be hurt and I react to all kinds of

hateful, negative remarks and acts in the world. " Thus, for many lives you

have made me unhappy and alone. Now you must die!!!

 

What will happen to me now, is there no life at all for me? I ask. " No " , they

reply, " You must die as the carnal ego and the atoms from which you come be

dispersed and sent forth this time for a higher calling and blest in the name

of Christ that hereafter they will be assembled together and used only for

good. "

 

" So good-bye my Ego. God bless you into a higher form of life " , they said to

me. Thus I died; I the Ego. But I will be reborn anew in a different

vibratory pattern and one day I will learn the lesson of ....Universal Love!!