Jump to content
IndiaDivine.org

09-30-01 Forgiveness Is Always a Place to Begin

Rate this topic


Guest guest

Recommended Posts

Emerson Center for Spiritual

Awakening

Redwood City, CA

Dr. Susanne Freeborn

 

Forgiveness Is Always a Place to Begin

 

09-30-01

 

Readings

 

“Love points the way and Law makes the way possible.”[[1]]

 

For

if you forgive men their faults, your Father in heaven will also forgive

you. But if you do not forgive

men, neither will your Father forgive even your faults.

Matthew

6:14, 15

 

14.

The Person Who Is Awake

 

She

is awake.

The

victory is hers.

She

has conquered the world.

 

How

can she lose the way

Who

is beyond the way?

Her

eye is open.

Her

foot is free.

Who

can follow after Her?

 

The

world cannot reclaim Her

Or

lead Her astray,

nor

can the poisoned net of desire hold Her.

 

She

is awake!

The

gods watch over Her.

 

She

is awake

And

finds joy in the stillness of meditation

and

in the sweetness of surrender.

 

Hard

it is to be born,

Hard

it is to live,

harder

still to hear of the way,

And

hard to rise, follow and awake.

 

Yet

the teaching is simple.

Do

what is right.

Be

pure.

At

the end of the way is freedom.

Till

then, patience.

 

If

you wound or grieve another,

you

have not learned detachment.

 

Offend

in neither word nor deed.

Eat

with moderation.

 

Live

in your heart.

Seek

the highest consciousness.

 

Master

yourself according to the law

This

is the simple teaching of the awakened.

 

The

rain could turn to gold

And

still your thirst would not be slaked.

Desire

is unquenchable

Or

it ends in tears, even in heaven.

 

She

who wishes to awake

Consumes

her desires

Joyfully.

 

In

Her fear a person may shelter

In

mountains or in forests,

In

groves of sacred trees or in shrines.

But

how can She hide there from Her sorrow?

 

She

who shelters in the way

And

travels with those who follow it

comes

to see the four great truths.

 

Concerning

sorrow,

The

beginning of sorrow,

The

eightfold way,

And

the end of sorrow.

 

Then

at last She is safe.

She

has shaken off sorrow.

She

is free.

 

The

awakened are few and hard to find.

Happy

is the house where a person awakes.

 

Blessed

is their birth.

Blessed

is the teaching of the way.

Blessed

is the understanding among those who follow it,

And

blessed is their determination.

 

And

blessed are they who revere

the

person who awakes and follows the way.

 

They

are free from fear.

They

are free.

 

They

have crossed over the river of sorrow.

 

The Dhammapada

 

How God Forgives

 

“Spiritual wisdom says that God

manifests through everything and is incarnated in all men; that all is Divinity

and that Nature herself is the body of God. The mechanical laws of nature are set and immutable, but the

spontaneous recognition of these laws gives us the power to bring them into

practical use in everyday life and experience.”[[2]]

 

THE ANSWER IS IN MAN

 

The answer to every question is within man, because man is within

Spirit and Spirit is an Indivisible Whole. The solution to every problem is

within man; the healing of all disease is within man; the forgiveness of all

sin is within man; the raising of the dead is within man; Heaven is within man.

That is why Jesus prayed to this indwelling " I am " and said:

" Our Father Which art in Heaven. " He also said: " The Kingdom of

God is within you. "

 

Each of us, then, represents the Whole. How should we feel

toward the Whole? In the old order, we thought of the Whole as a sort of

mandatory power, an autocratic government, an arbitrary God, sending some to

Heaven and some to Hell; and " all for His glory. " Now we are much

more enlightened and we realize that there can be no such a Divine Being. We

have meditated upon the vastness of the Universe of Law, and we have said:

" God is Law; there is a Divine Principle Which is God. " In the new

order, we are liable to fall into as great an error as the old thought fell

into, unless we go much deeper than thinking of God simply as Principle. God is

more than Law or Principle. God is the Infinite Spirit, the Limitless,

Conscious Life of the Universe; the One Infinite Person within Whom all people

live. The Law is simply a Force.[[3]]

Forgiveness as a

Place to Begin

 

Most of us have heard plenty about

forgiveness. Personally, when the

topic of forgiveness comes up in the common everyday sense, to be completely

honest, I feel impatient with the way it is handled. I suppose I feel that the very deep power of forgiveness is

as much misunderstood as is Love and I really don’t want to hear much more said

unless it will make a difference in our expression of Love, which I consider to

be the primary activity and nature of living. There is this idea that forgiveness need only be about as

deep as a puddle, that we ought to be able to do it in the snap of our

fingers. While that level of ease

may be possible,

it is not the way forgiveness works for most of us. There is also the misimpression that forgiveness implies

condoning the acts of a perpetrator.

It doesn’t. I try to remind

myself that everyone is doing the best that they can, and I include myself in

that category.

With recent events looming, there are

many who are deeply angry and the idea of forgiveness is very difficult for

them to accept, particularly when the basis for forgiveness and the concepts in

the common understanding of the nature of forgiveness have been handled so

tritely. So let’s try today to see

if we can do something to clear up what is meant by forgiveness and what is its

power for returning us to peace and joy within ourselves.

I read that, if we would spend at

least half the time that we spend complaining, finding fault, fussing over our

dissatisfactions, being sad and sorry for ourselves, and holding things against

others; if we would spend just half as much time in affirming that which we

truly want, that

would be the time in which we would be healed and living in the circumstances

which we truly desire. So I

suppose this points to our being empowered first off, to quit wasting our time

on what we don’t want, and to begin with moving on to that which we most deeply

desire.

In New Thought we believe that the

wisdom that is within God is also within the individual. Listen with me to the phrase " Infinite Wisdom within me " ;

and then stop and think what this means.

It means that the Intelligence that operates through everything, visible

and invisible, is operating within you. Let’s see how we can use this power of

infinite wisdom as a place to begin, and then we shall use it to empower our

process of forgiveness as a foundation, for our spiritual life.

First,

let’s agree that forgiveness is an act of flushing out the lethal, repetitious

thoughts that devastate our happiness and cause havoc in our lives. Forgiveness

is an act that restores our minds to wholeness. Forgiveness is very clearly

something powerful we do for ourselves, not something nice we do for someone

else. Through forgiveness, we take responsibility for our thoughts and mental

state, for our own integrity, and yet, no particular action is implied beyond

the change of our thinking.

Since forgiveness is one way of taking

responsibility, it is accomplished by first acknowledging the nature of our own

thoughts, and secondly, seeing clearly the conflicted beliefs that our mind

holds. This is a powerful choice.

It is a natural expression of Love. Forgiveness is not accomplished by merely denying our

thoughts, arguing against them, or by trying to replace them with “good

thoughts.” This is what happens

when we mistakenly blur the distinctions of “denial” as it is commonly meant in

modern day psycho-babble. We don’t

really know what people mean by denial who are not engaged in Affirmative

Prayer, but let’s just agree that this kind of denial is a kind of pretending that

some condition or circumstance, some feeling or behavior is not really

happening even though we are clearly living with the outcome of its

existence. You know what I mean,

it would be as if I were to sit here and say “There is not a piano in this room.” So what is that object to my left? (points to the baby grand piano)

Perhaps someone would come and take my piano if I kept saying this with

sufficient feeling, but you can presently see the piano has not moved and can

infer that I don’t mean it.

This common definition of denial is

clearly not the same meaning for denial that is used in Affirmative Prayer,

which is to look beyond the appearances to the perfection that exists

within. Affirmative Prayer requires

more of us than simply saying that something isn’t so. It is to combine our faith in the

wholeness of all that exists with the deepest feeling and the knowledge that

this wholeness exists within the situation at hand, knowing that God hears

these prayers and acts upon them.

This is a consciously chosen communication with God within the One

Universal Mind that is common to all humankind. Within our recent national experience, this is a very

challenging thing to ask of oneself.

This will require so much of us, more than most of us have ever been

called upon to see.

When we are on the road to

forgiveness, and have admitted to ourselves that we have certain shadowy

impulses, once we know what those impulses and ideas are and how they operate

in us, then and only then, can we turn to the place of stillness and wholeness

within ourselves. This is the moment when what it is that we are seeking to

express within ourselves IS accessible and ready for realization. AND, if we take this second step before

the first step is completed, if we don’t honestly face the troublesome lines of

thought we have been engaging in, they will soon return and repossess our

mind. Did you see the movie “Repo

Man?” Picture the wraithlike Harry

Dean Stanton character coming to claim your peace of mind like a car that is

about to be stealthily repossessed.

Whatever we do not honestly face within our thinking will continue to

come and repossess our peace until we consciously set each thought in its

appropriate place, state its truth and affirm our own wholeness.

We can and do get such mixed feelings

about ourselves for having had these awful negative feelings, that it can

become downright difficult to let go of the harmful thoughts we may still carry

about whatever it is that we have left unaddressed. Whatever awful things we have been willing to say, and have

done to another human being, these things cut through our consciousness like

razor blades, even when it seems that they “deserve it.” Consider this: By dwelling on these

thoughts, it is like we are gossiping about ourselves, and anyone else

involved, to our selves, and if that is not enough, then we throw the same net

over anyone else we may have engaged in listening to our painful ideas. What a thing to do to a compassionate

listener! Zen teacher Robert

Aitken says " More people get hurt by gossip than by guns. " The Dalai Lama counsels " If you find yourself slandering

anybody, first imagine that your mouth is filled with excrement. It will break

you of the habit quickly enough.”

When we keep carrying around the opinions we formed when we were angry,

disappointed, surprised, hurt, unfulfilled in some way, the less than generous

things we had to say about anyone at all, we have to face that we have

committed a kind of interior

slander on another and even upon ourselves.

Can you see how that works? Can you see the cost to our vitality

and self-expression? Whenever you

experience someone glowering and stewing, that is a person who is in need of

the practice of forgiveness.

Forgiveness begins with understanding and releasing the hold of

self-righteous judgments.

Forgiveness is taking responsibility. It is the

acknowledgement that the incident that gave rise to our suffering is over and

that we alone reenact the damage. Confusion and discouragement can mask our

unwillingness to take responsibility. We have to stop getting bogged down in

either of these emotions and move on to what we need to do to restore ourselves

in relationship to whomever we say is the source of our disappointment within

ourselves. This is all happening

within us, no matter what happened before. Whomever we thought of as the source of our sorrows lives on

within us controlling our lives so long as we do not forgive them.

You may recall my telling you about

this earlier this year, so please forgive me for repeating this, but it is one

of my life’s greatest lessons. For

me, this began to take place around the age of 28, however, it took years to

complete the process. I don’t know

if it took so long because of how stubborn I am or how difficult my childhood,

but it did take me nearly ten years to complete the forgiveness process with my

mother. So if it takes you a

little while, I suggest you extend some forgiveness to yourself! Forgiveness is one of those qualities

like love that seems to expand much like the loaves and fishes upon our need

for it.

Perhaps maturity is the moment when we

begin to realize that we don’t have to continue thinking ungenerously and

cruelly about our parents, that whatever it was that led us to have the ideas

and opinions we held against them, and whatever was going on with them at the

time, is all in the past and is best left there. Our relationships with parents are an excellent model for

all other opportunities for forgiveness. So what can we do?

Before “leaving it

there” we can first, reinterpret events in light of a larger understanding

available to us now, " My

parents were the way they were, and this is simply what happened. " We can

take the spin off! Telling

yourself that it shouldn't have happened, engaging in “what if” this part had

been different, is a form of denying that it did happen, so try to concentrate

on honesty rather than resentment.

Be with the truth of what happened without embellishment.

The second step is to add God back

into each scene. God was there when it happened, and God's love

protected your heart, your spirit, your soul, as well as anyone else involved.

Clearly, Love does not micromanage events. Each party to any event is using Love and Law at the level

of their awareness. We are not

protected from our experience, the way that life is leaves the door open to our

choices and this is true for all involved. The Divine protects and blesses us

but on the level of the material, we reap the consequences of our thinking. If we are thinking that whomever we are

thinking perpetrated against us is the incarnation of Satan or the resurrection

of a World War II despot, then

what else could we experience?

A third step you can take is to

begin noticing how resentment and other emotional patterns connected to withholding

forgiveness cost you your vitality. What kind of moods do you get yourself into when you

continue to hold things against another?

How many opportunities for happiness go sailing down the river of sorrow

and regret so that you can be self-righteous about what somebody should have

done another way so long ago? Or

last week! It doesn’t take long

for resentment to begin eating up your life.

How do we defuse this challenge? Once we have been honest with

ourselves, we can effectively take the matter into prayer. If we can’t find a way to be completely

honest with ourselves, we can affirm and seek support for our ability to be

honest. And we can keep in mind

that we are doing the best that we can.

Once we have been honest with ourselves, in prayer we can release what

happened. We can release our need

to see things the way that we once did.

We can begin to look upon the events of our lives and our parents lives

with some compassion. God remained

in and through you and could never reject you, nor could God reject your

family. Remember this. As you begin having some compassion and

forgiveness for yourself, and for whomever the perpetrators are, you will begin

exhausting these old “mental horror movies” of the source of their pain.

While you are working this out through telling the

truth, correcting your thoughts as you go along, and by taking the matter into

affirmative prayer, you can refuse to act out the damage this negative thinking

causes whenever possible. In this way, you will no longer put others on the

defensive and make the situation more complicated. Once you have refused to

make things worse, and have found some forgiveness for yourself and the persons

you once viewed as perpetrators of your suffering, you must then open your

heart to the grace of God. God will return you to the experience of your

Divinely inspired and sacred feelings, not one of which was ever touched by

this experience of difficulty, suffering and sorrow. Silently repeat: " I choose now to see as God

sees and feel as God feels. I express Love as God expresses Love. I want

nothing more than to be as God created me. "

In the beginning of this talk I quoted Holmes

saying, “Love points the

way and Law makes the way possible.” And the Bible For if you forgive men their faults,

your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, neither will your Father

forgive even your faults. Since

we believe that God is in all that exists, including you and I, this Biblical

quotation has an interesting meaning. If we are to be forgiven by God we have to begin with

ourselves! Even this forgiveness

thing is an inside job. This is another one of those things where having faith

the size of a mustard seed is a sufficient beginning. Just seeing the

possibility that what we had once thought of as the truth about someone else is

no longer a useful idea for us, just the inkling that there could be another deeper

interpretation of events, that idea “blows the doors off” and lets the fresh

air back into our lives.

As I said before, it took me years to work this all

out with my mother. During that

time, I had to learn to keep my mouth shut about when I wanted to blurt out

some horrible stuff about my mother in order to absolve myself of

responsibility for some condition in my life. Someone once told me “If you can’t find something good to

say, then don’t say anything at all.”

This is a difficult practice, one I am sure the Buddha would recommend,

as would Confucius and Lao Tzu, who wrote in Verse 56 of the Tao te Ching:

Those

who know don't talk.

Those who talk, don't know.

 

It is said in the Dhammapada that Buddha said:

If

you speak or act with a corrupted heart, then suffering follows you like the

cart's wheel follows the foot of the ox. If you speak or act with a calm,

bright heart, then happiness follows you, like a never-departing shadow.

 

Sometimes, when we are looking for that calm, bright

heart within ourselves it takes us awhile to find it under the dirty laundry of

our past, and if we can keep our mouth shut at those moments when we would

gossip about those whom we have judged, before we know it, our prayers will be

answered and we will no longer think the thoughts that led to that

struggle. We will be returned to

our original state. In the book of

Proverbs it is said: “For

lack of wood the fire goes out; and where there is no whisperer, quarreling

ceases.”

We are told that God will forgive us after we have forgiven

others. This is a direct statement and one that we should ponder deeply. Can

God forgive until we have forgiven? If God can work for us only by working

through us, then this statement of Jesus stands true, and is really a statement

of the law of cause and effect. We cannot afford to hold personal animosities

or enmities against the world or individual members of society. All such

thoughts are outside the law and cannot be taken into the heav­enly

consciousness. Love alone can beget love. People do not gather roses from

thistles.

 

The Father who seest in secret will reward us openly. Shall we

not learn to enter the “secret place of the Most High,” within our own soul, in

gladness? We are to fast without outward sign, but with the inner mind open and

receptive to the Good alone. Our treasure is already in heaven, and our thought

can take us to this treasure only when it is in accord with divine harmony and

perfect love. [[4]]

 

This is a picture of my Mother when she was in third

grade. It came to me when I was struggling with the memory of some painful

childhood experience, that if I ever wished to hold anything against her, that

I would get out this picture and think of this Peppermint Patty face, of this

tender adventurous girl with the thick coppery hair and full-bodied set of

freckles. This is a girl who saved

her brother from Polio. I think of the great difficulty of her life. I remember that no matter how tall she

grew to be--and she was very tall, and no matter how she towered over me all my

life--that inside the heart of her was still that wonderfully devilish girl who

would try anything, who was terribly generous, and not particularly fearful of

the consequences of the choices she made.

And I cannot be angry with her.

I choose to remember this as the Spirit of my mother, and just as I

would forgive any adventurous girl her mistakes, I can still forgive my mother,

as I did many many times on the way to complete forgiveness. It is easy to be

angry with the 5’10” threatening God that she was to me when I was the shortest

child in my class at school. But

as an adult I can see the perfect and playful child of God within my Mother.

In learning this with my Mother I found that I could

forgive anyone for just about anything, and that includes myself. Maybe you don’t have a picture of the

person you wish to forgive, but I am sure that you can imagine them as a child,

or you could picture their vulnerability,

their tenderness, with a loving heart you can find a way to understand

how they might have come to do the things that they have done.

Recently, we have had to consider including

terrorists in our forgiveness practice.

Terrorists who have killed approximately 7,000 people. This is probably the supreme act of

forgiveness, the capstone of forgiveness in our lives. I know there are those who say that

forgiveness ought to be easy. I

don’t know that I can agree with that now. If you had asked me over a month ago if forgiveness was easy

I would have told you that sometimes forgiveness is a repetitive practice that

has the power that water has upon stone.

I know this because in my family of origin I had so much that I had to

forgive. Rape, incestuous

molestation, great physical abuse, neglect and failure to protect and nurture

the possibility of my life. This is

why I say that the number of occasions that I forgave my mother number

somewhere above 500,000 times. It

took a lot of work to get my life back.

It took a lot of work to be returned to Love. The last words I said to

my mother were I love you. Had I

not engaged in this practice I would have been left with something the nature

of which I would not want for myself. These things that happened to me occurred

within a family that loved one another.

I know that, I was there.

Underneath all suffering and all acts that cause

suffering lies a commitment to Love.

Perhaps the commitment is not fully realized, but it is there, and in

finding it we find our way back into the recognition within ourselves of the

grace of God. Forgiveness can

certainly be challenging, though it does not have to be. It is the passage back to the center of

our being. It is the note upon

which life begins to balance, achieves harmony and it is the passageway into

the life of Spirit. Forgiveness is

the key to our own complete spiritual freedom. Yes others really do benefit from our forgiveness, even when

they don’t know about it. In that

sense, forgiveness works like prayer, it doesn’t matter who knows or how far

away they might be from the person doing the acts of forgiveness. It is truly the light of freedom that

ignites within ones own heart.

Forgiveness clears away all the stuff that is between us and a mystical

union with God. Forgiveness is a

worthy use of the Law. It changes us from hard, ungenerous, unsympathetic and

self-righteous angry people into thinkers capable of Divine thought. Forgiveness rebuilds our capacity for

compassion and understanding.

It clears away the debris from the portals of our Spirit and unifies it

with the Divine. Forgiveness is a

mystical act that uses the Law to create this experience of divinity within

ourselves. You have the keys to the kingdom and you are free right now to use

them. Who might you begin

forgiving today? Forgiveness does

not change the past, but it truly does enlarge the possibility of the

future. Gandhi said it best when

he said “The weak can never forgive.

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Just by beginning to forgive, we begin to experience our own

innate strength. Kahlil Gibran reminds us of how horribly we injure ourselves

when he says: “If the other person

injures you, you may forget the injury, but if you injure him you will always

remember.” By forgiving and giving

up the gossip against those who we need to forgive, we reclaim our souls from

any further self-inflicted damage, and we create for ourselves a powerful place

to begin our lives again. This is

the wisdom of the ages, that there is a power for good in the universe greater

than we are, and we can use it!

Thank you for being here today.

 

 

 

 

 

[1] Dr. Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind, 1938

Ed.

 

 

[2] Ibid.

 

 

[3] Dr. Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind, 1926

Ed.

 

 

[4] Dr. Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind, 1938

Ed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

© Dr. Susanne

Freeborn        Page 2  9/30/01Dr.

Susanne Freeborn                         

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you Susanne. This is beautiful.

 

At 9/30/2001-11:17 PM Rev. Dr. Susanne Freeborn wrote:

>14. The Person Who Is Awake

>

>

>

>She is awake.

>

>The victory is hers.

>

>She has conquered the world.

>

>

>

>How can she lose the way

>

>Who is beyond the way?

>

>Her eye is open.

>

>Her foot is free.

>

>Who can follow after Her?

>

>

>

>The world cannot reclaim Her

>

>Or lead Her astray,

>

>nor can the poisoned net of desire hold Her.

>

>

>

>She is awake!

>

>The gods watch over Her.

>

>

>

>She is awake

>

>And finds joy in the stillness of meditation

>

>and in the sweetness of surrender.

>

>

>

>Hard it is to be born,

>

>Hard it is to live,

>

>harder still to hear of the way,

>

>And hard to rise, follow and awake.

>

>

>

>Yet the teaching is simple.

>

>Do what is right.

>

>Be pure.

>

>At the end of the way is freedom.

>

>Till then, patience.

>

>

>

>If you wound or grieve another,

>

>you have not learned detachment.

>

>

>

>Offend in neither word nor deed.

>

>Eat with moderation.

>

>

>

>Live in your heart.

>

>Seek the highest consciousness.

>

>

>

>Master yourself according to the law

>

>This is the simple teaching of the awakened.

>

>

>

>The rain could turn to gold

>

>And still your thirst would not be slaked.

>

>Desire is unquenchable

>

>Or it ends in tears, even in heaven.

>

>

>

>She who wishes to awake

>

>Consumes her desires

>

>Joyfully.

>

>

>

>In Her fear a person may shelter

>

>In mountains or in forests,

>

>In groves of sacred trees or in shrines.

>

>But how can She hide there from Her sorrow?

>

>

>

>She who shelters in the way

>

>And travels with those who follow it

>

>comes to see the four great truths.

>

>

>

>Concerning sorrow,

>

>The beginning of sorrow,

>

>The eightfold way,

>

>And the end of sorrow.

>

>

>

>Then at last She is safe.

>

>She has shaken off sorrow.

>

>She is free.

>

>

>

>The awakened are few and hard to find.

>

>Happy is the house where a person awakes.

>

>

>

>Blessed is their birth.

>

>Blessed is the teaching of the way.

>

>Blessed is the understanding among those who follow it,

>

>And blessed is their determination.

>

>

>

>And blessed are they who revere

>

>the person who awakes and follows the way.

>

>

>

>They are free from fear.

>

>They are free.

>

>

>

>They have crossed over the river of sorrow.

>

>

>

>The Dhammapada

 

Each of us, then, represents the Whole. How should we feel toward the

Whole? In the old order, we thought of the Whole as a sort of mandatory

power, an autocratic government, an arbitrary God, sending some to Heaven

and some to Hell; and " all for His glory. " Now we are much more enlightened

and we realize that there can be no such a Divine Being. We have meditated

upon the vastness of the Universe of Law, and we have said: " God is Law;

there is a Divine Principle Which is God. " In the new order, we are liable

to fall into as great an error as the old thought fell into, unless we go

much deeper than thinking of God simply as Principle. God is more than Law

or Principle. God is the Infinite Spirit, the Limitless, Conscious Life of

the Universe; the One Infinite Person within Whom all people live. The Law

is simply a Force.[[3]]

______________________

With Love,

Cyber Dervish

````````````````````````````````````````

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...