about my teenage love Sartre

[Guest guest]

" French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince

Taliban of Non-Existence of God "

 

The clean-up portion of the ground war in Afghanistan heated up

yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of

crack

French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the

morale of the remaining Taliban zealots by proving the non-existence

of God.

 

Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets',

will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency

and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous

intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's

Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of

sidewalk cafes at strategic points near the front lines. There they

will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life

and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied

by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further

spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears

every five minutes and looking remote and unattainable to everyone

else.

 

Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his

confidence in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate

Belmondo, a very intense and unshaven young man in a black pullover,

gesticulated wildly and said, " The Taliban are caught in a logical

fallacy of the most ridiculous. There is no God and I can prove it.

Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliet, I am talking. "

 

Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating

freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and

the films of Alfred Hitchcock. However, humanitarian agencies have

been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that

the

effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmens' endless Gitanes could

wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.

 

 

andreas