Standards of Guruship revised

[Guest guest]

 

1. All teachings, recording, books etc are given freely. No copyrights on any materials.

 

2. No contributions or gifts will be accepted. If any are submitted they will be forwarded to the following.

The local Nazi party.. The KKK. Or the U.S party that won the recent elections.

 

3. The guru is celibate and never can have children to take over their mission. A woman guru will her tubes tied, a male guru will have a vasectomy or be castrated.

 

4. The guru shall never be in a room or auto alone with only one person. I got that one from the Rev. Billy Graham.

 

5. The guru will always be available 24 hours per day. When s/he is sleeping devotees may touch her/him.

 

6. The guru shall bless same sex marriages as well has hetero ones.

 

7. The guru if s/he has an ashram will fund it entirely with stock market or futures money.

 

8. The guru will take on all the negative karma of her/his initiates.

 

9. The guru shall have no secret teachings.

 

10. The guru will accept all those who wish to be her/his sheep.

 

11. The guru will tell all that she/he is the CHRIST and that the Second coming is here right now.

 

12. The guru will specify that no religion may be created after departing.

 

13. The guru will answer all questions that are submitted.

 

14. The guru shall submit to testing by the scientists.

 

15. The guru will tell in great detail about their meditation experiences and the Order of the Universe and the creation.

 

16. The guru will either perform or assist in ABORTIONS if the woman becomes pregnant because of rape or incest or to save the life of the mother.

 

17. The guru will have humility as demonstrated by her/his proclaiming that s/he is not different or separate from all beings.

 

18. The guru will never correct anyones data or opinions only drawing a longer line for explanations.

 

19. The guru will never let anyone bow down to them or kiss her/his feet.

 

20. The guru will bow down to all that appear and kiss their feet.

 

21: The guru will never take anesthetic for dental work or any operation.

 

22. The guru will take not medicines for any illness even one that is terminal like Cancer

 

23. The guru will never cry out because of pain.