Guest guest Posted December 19, 2004 Report Share Posted December 19, 2004 Namaste, my new friends, The following was sent to me from a friend and I thought you might enjoy it... if it offends you, sorry. D. "Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to itsyearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings forcommon words. The winners are: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedlyanswer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller.10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies uponto the roof and gets stuck there.16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewishmen." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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