Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Hi The following might not be terribly profound and far away from 'That', but something 'stuck' me the other day... I was alone all Easter (.. break from girldfriend..), and I felt great. Perception was sharp, dleightful energies..etc. A spiritually-traditional thought popped up : " See, aloneness, being a 'hermit', silence is great and the way " , and I fely even better..: because of feeling I was doing the right thing, for a change.. _Until_ the next thought, a bit more 'tantric/dzogchen/vedantic' in nature..: " You are self-deluding yourself my friend,.. feeling good has nothing to do with 'It'.. you're just escaping from the what-is of life and relationship.. your feeling good is no less ignorant than when you feel you're in hell.. " .. ... so then, I did not feel so great any longer.. a kind of despair replaced it. I am acquainted with some of the pointers, that might dump all of the above in The Ultimate disintegration-machine/blender of 'That' Unmanifested & Undiferientiated Blob... but I just want to say, that it was a mild shock to see how everything we look upon, is thru some Meaning ...! ... _Everything_.. The thought of removing both of the above meanings,..all meanings, is sheer terror.. everything in life would be utterly meaningless, and one would certainly have No-thing. A 'dark night of soul' sound like great fun, compared to this. And if one sees the truth/falsity of this (meaning giving), would one be here using so many words and meanings ? Would one involve oneself in _Any-thing ?.. (apart form necessities, like a job, and shopping for food..) Rather scary... All of life, would be an utter and meaningless joke... How is it for you ? JB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Why does giving up your identification with maya terrify you? -mort Nisargadatta, JB789@h... wrote: > Hi > > The following might not be terribly profound and far away > from 'That', but something 'stuck' me the other day... > > I was alone all Easter (.. break from girldfriend..), and I felt > great. > Perception was sharp, dleightful energies..etc. > A spiritually-traditional thought popped up : " See, aloneness, being > a 'hermit', silence is great and the way " , and I fely even better..: > because of feeling I was doing the right thing, for a change.. > _Until_ the next thought, a bit more 'tantric/dzogchen/vedantic' in > nature..: " You are self-deluding yourself my friend,.. feeling good > has nothing to do with 'It'.. you're just escaping from the what-is > of life and relationship.. your feeling good is no less ignorant than > when you feel you're in hell.. " .. > .. so then, I did not feel so great any longer.. a kind of despair > replaced it. > > I am acquainted with some of the pointers, that might dump all of the > above in The Ultimate disintegration-machine/blender of 'That' > Unmanifested & Undiferientiated Blob... > but I just want to say, that it was a mild shock to see how > everything we look upon, is thru some Meaning ...! > .. _Everything_.. > The thought of removing both of the above meanings,..all meanings, is > sheer terror.. everything in life would be utterly meaningless, and > one would certainly have No-thing. > A 'dark night of soul' sound like great fun, compared to this. > And if one sees the truth/falsity of this (meaning giving), would one > be here using so many words and meanings ? > Would one involve oneself in _Any-thing ?.. (apart form necessities, > like a job, and shopping for food..) > Rather scary... > All of life, would be an utter and meaningless joke... > How is it for you ? > JB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 My greatest desire AND fear is the " absence " of myself. Michael At 12:26 PM 4/17/01 -0000, you wrote: >Why does giving up your identification with maya terrify you? > >-mort > >Nisargadatta, JB789@h... wrote: >> Hi >> >> The following might not be terribly profound and far away >> from 'That', but something 'stuck' me the other day... >> >> I was alone all Easter (.. break from girldfriend..), and I felt >> great. >> Perception was sharp, dleightful energies..etc. >> A spiritually-traditional thought popped up : " See, aloneness, >being >> a 'hermit', silence is great and the way " , and I fely even better..: >> because of feeling I was doing the right thing, for a change.. >> _Until_ the next thought, a bit more 'tantric/dzogchen/vedantic' in >> nature..: " You are self-deluding yourself my friend,.. feeling good >> has nothing to do with 'It'.. you're just escaping from the what-is >> of life and relationship.. your feeling good is no less ignorant >than >> when you feel you're in hell.. " .. >> .. so then, I did not feel so great any longer.. a kind of despair >> replaced it. >> >> I am acquainted with some of the pointers, that might dump all of >the >> above in The Ultimate disintegration-machine/blender of 'That' >> Unmanifested & Undiferientiated Blob... >> but I just want to say, that it was a mild shock to see how >> everything we look upon, is thru some Meaning ...! >> .. _Everything_.. >> The thought of removing both of the above meanings,..all meanings, >is >> sheer terror.. everything in life would be utterly meaningless, and >> one would certainly have No-thing. >> A 'dark night of soul' sound like great fun, compared to this. >> And if one sees the truth/falsity of this (meaning giving), would >one >> be here using so many words and meanings ? >> Would one involve oneself in _Any-thing ?.. (apart form >necessities, >> like a job, and shopping for food..) >> Rather scary... >> All of life, would be an utter and meaningless joke... >> How is it for you ? >> JB. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Hi JB, I've deleted some of your words and replaced the last word; meaning, with... the mind. I'll respond to the second part of your post in a another reply. ~jessica ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ JB meaning snip> .... I felt great. snip> ...thought popped up : Until the next thought... snip> ... a kind of despair replaced it. snip> it was a mild shock to see how everything we look upon, is thru snip> the mind ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2001 Report Share Posted April 18, 2001 Nisargadatta, " Jessica White " <ellam-ondre@h...> wrote: > Hi JB, > > I've deleted some of your words and replaced the last word; meaning, with... > the mind. I'll respond to the second part of your post in a another reply. > > ~jessica > > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > > JB > meaning > > snip> > ... I felt great. > > snip> > ...thought popped up : > > Until the next thought... > snip> > > .. a kind of despair > replaced it. > > > snip> > it was a mild shock to see how > everything we look upon, is thru > snip> > > the mind ... Thanks Jessica, Yes..: thought/mind. ...keeping at it,.. due to fear of death. One knows how This is (miserable as it might be,..one does not actually know 'That'. One knows this life,.. fear of letting it go, because one does not know death/That.. (except as hearsay, which is a worthless though comforting belief/concept). Looking forwards to the rest of your reply. JB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2001 Report Share Posted April 20, 2001 Hi again JB, Sorry to take so long in getting back to you, but this is the first opportunity that I've had. What you have described in the second part of your post entitled 'meaning' is a phase and all that you mention therein is merely more thought. How is it for me? Being taken through this phase while my body and mind were breaking down, accelerated the relentless seesawing of my mind to the point of insanity. This led to the next phase; being led to a Jnani, who (among other things) said, " Don't believe what I say, find out for yourself " . He spoke of a variety of tools; self-enquiry, abiding in the IAM, sitting quietly in self-observation, etc. but also said that the teaching was in the Silence. He said these tools were given for the mind ~ to become one-pointed which in turn would lead to the next phase ~ gaps in thinking where Truth and " finding out for yourself " IS . I was desperate at that point, but also noticed how I felt. It was not a matter of the words being spoken, for they were filled with paradox & contradiction, enough to drive 'my' already cracked mind even further into the abyss. But there was also a resonance happening; always 'peace in his presence'. For quite sometime,there was an inner conflict; both the draw to the Silence and a metaphoric hanging on with 'bleeding fingers' as my imagination continued to run wild ~ with being pryed off of 'this world'. Inspite of myself, certain concepts were beginning to 'slowly' seep into the cracks of my mind. As I told you in a previous post, he ultimately took away everything he gave. Now there appears to be a calm, where there was freaking out. I learned to use my mind to observe thought, disrupt thought and acceptance of what is happened (including the times when remembering it's all taking place on stage ~ and automatically being done ~ is forgotten). Having been given a taste of that peace, it cannot be forgotten and when remembering happens, its' only just a 'thought' away : ) Living life as it comes; as life is living me. Love, ~jessica ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ JB wrote: Thanks Jessica, Yes..: thought/mind. ...keeping at it,.. due to fear of death. One knows how This is (miserable as it might be,..one does not actually know 'That'. One knows this life,.. fear of letting it go, because one does not know death/That.. (except as hearsay, which is a worthless though comforting belief/concept). Looking forwards to the rest of your reply. JB. **************************************************** snip> continuing... The thought of removing both of the above meanings,..all meanings, is sheer terror... everything in life would be utterly meaningless, and one would certainly have No-thing. A 'dark night of soul' sound like great fun, compared to this. Would one involve oneself in _Any-thing ?.. (apart form necessities, like a job, and shopping for food..) Rather scary... All of life, would be an utter and meaningless joke... How is it for you ? JB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2001 Report Share Posted April 20, 2001 Thanks for your sharing.. jb. Nisargadatta, " Jessica White " <ellam-ondre@h...> wrote: > Hi again JB, > > Sorry to take so long in getting back to you, but this is the first > opportunity that I've had. > > What you have described in the second part of your post entitled 'meaning' > is a phase and all that you mention therein is merely more thought. > > How is it for me? > > Being taken through this phase while my body and mind were breaking down, > accelerated the relentless seesawing of my mind to the point of insanity. > This led to the next phase; being led to a Jnani, who (among other things) > said, " Don't believe what I say, find out for yourself " . > > He spoke of a variety of tools; self-enquiry, abiding in the IAM, sitting > quietly in self-observation, etc. but also said that the teaching was in the > Silence. He said these tools were given for the mind ~ to become one-pointed > which in turn would lead to the next phase ~ gaps in thinking where Truth > and " finding out for yourself " IS . > > I was desperate at that point, but also noticed how I felt. It was not a > matter of the words being spoken, for they were filled with paradox & > contradiction, enough to drive 'my' already cracked mind even further into > the abyss. But there was also a resonance happening; always 'peace in his > presence'. > > For quite sometime,there was an inner conflict; both the draw to the Silence > and a metaphoric hanging on with 'bleeding fingers' as my imagination > continued to run wild ~ with being pryed off of 'this world'. Inspite of > myself, certain concepts were beginning to 'slowly' seep into the cracks of > my mind. > > As I told you in a previous post, he ultimately took away everything he > gave. > > Now there appears to be a calm, where there was freaking out. I learned to > use my mind to observe thought, disrupt thought and acceptance of what is > happened (including the times when remembering it's all taking place on > stage ~ and automatically being done ~ is forgotten). > > Having been given a taste of that peace, it cannot be forgotten and when > remembering happens, its' only just a 'thought' away : ) > > Living life as it comes; as life is living me. > > > > Love, > ~jessica > > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > JB wrote: > > Thanks Jessica, > Yes..: thought/mind. > ..keeping at it,.. due to fear of death. > One knows how This is (miserable as it might be,..one does not > actually know 'That'. > One knows this life,.. fear of letting it go, because one does not > know death/That.. (except as hearsay, which is a worthless though > comforting belief/concept). > Looking forwards to the rest of your reply. > JB. > > **************************************************** > snip> > continuing... The thought of removing both of the above meanings,..all > meanings, is > sheer terror... > > > everything in life would be utterly meaningless, and > one would certainly have No-thing. > > > A 'dark night of soul' sound like great fun, compared to this. > > > Would one involve oneself in _Any-thing ?.. (apart form necessities, > like a job, and shopping for food..) > > > Rather scary... > > All of life, would be an utter and meaningless joke... > > How is it for you ? > > JB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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