I Am That - Awareness is Free Pt.1

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From " I Am That " -- Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

 

Chapter 48 - " Awareness is Free " (Part 1)

 

 

Questioner: I have just arrived from Sri Ramanashram. I have spent

seven months there.

 

Maharaj: What practice were you following at the Ashram?

 

Q: As far as I could, I concentrated on the " Who am I? "

 

M: Which way were you doing it? Verbally?

 

Q: In my free moments during the course of the day. Sometimes I was

murmuring to myself 'Who am I?' 'I am, but who am I?' Or, I did it

mentally. Occasionally I would have some nice feeling, or get into

moods of quiet happiness. On the whole I was trying to be quiet and

receptive, rather than labouring for experiences.

 

M: What were you actually experiencing when you were in the right

mood?

 

Q: A sense of inner stillness, peace and silence.

 

M: Did you notice yourself becoming unconscious?

 

Q: Yes, occasionally and for a very short time. Otherwise I was just

quiet, inwardly and outwardly.

 

M: What kind of quiet was it? Something akin to deep sleep, yet

conscious all the same. A sort of wakeful sleep?

 

Q: Yes. Alertly asleep. (jagrit-sushupti).

 

M: The main thing is to be free of negative emotions -- desire, fear

etc., the 'six enemies' of the mind. Once the mind is free of them,

the rest will come easily. Just as cloth kept in soap water will

become clean, so will the mind get purified in the stream of pure

feeling.

 

When you sit quiet and watch yourself, all kinds of things may come

to the surface. Do nothing about them, don't react to them; as they

have come so will they go, by themselves. All that matters is

mindfulness, total awareness of oneself or rather, of one's mind.

 

Q: By 'oneself' do you mean the daily self?

 

M: Yes, the person, which alone is objectively observable. The

observer is beyond observation. What is observable is not the real

self.

 

Q: I can always observe the observer, in endless recession.

 

M: You can observe the observation, but not the observer. You know

you are the ultimate observer by direct insight, not by a logical

process based on observation. You are what you are, but you know

what you are not. The self is known as being, the not-self is known

as transient. But in reality all is in the mind. The observed,

observation and observer are mental constructs. The self alone IS.

 

Q: Why does the mind create all these divisions?

 

M: To divide and particularize is in the mind's very nature. There

is no harm in dividing. But separation goes against fact. Things

and people are different, but they are not separate. Nature is one,

reality is one. There are opposites, but no opposition.

 

Q: I find that by nature I am very active. Here I am advised to

avoid activity. The more I try to remain inactive, the greater the

urge to do something. This makes me not only active outwardly, but

also struggling inwardly to be what by nature I am not. Is there a

remedy against longing for work?

 

M: There is a difference between work and mere activity. All nature

works. Work is nature, nature is work. On the other hand, activity

is based on desire and fear, on longing to possess and enjoy, on fear

of pain and annihilation. Work is by the whole for the whole,

activity is by oneself for oneself.

 

Q: Is there a remedy against activity?

 

M: Watch it, and it shall cease. Use every opportunity to remind

yourself that you are in bondage, that whatever happens to you is due

to the fact of your bodily existence. Desire, fear, trouble, joy,

they cannot appear unless you are there to appear to. Yet, whatever

happens, points to your existence as a perceiving centre. Disregard

the pointers and be aware of what they are pointing to. It is quite

simple, but it needs to be done. What matters is the persistence

with which you keep on returning to yourself.

 

Q: I do get into peculiar states of deep absorption into myself, but

unpredictably and momentarily. I do not feel myself to be in control

of such states.

 

M: The body is a material thing and needs time to change. The mind

is but a set of mental habits, of ways of thinking and feeling, and

to change they must be brought to the surface and examined. This

also takes time. Just resolve and persevere, the rest will take care

of itself.

 

Q: I seem to have a clear idea of what needs to be done, but I find

myself getting tired and depressed and seeking human company and thus

wasting time that should be given to solitude and meditation.

 

M: Do what you feel like doing. Don't bully yourself. Violence will

make you hard and rigid. Do not fight with what you take to be

obstacles on your way. Just be interested in them, watch them,

observe, enquire. Let anything happen -- good or bad. But don't let

yourself be submerged by what happens.

 

Q: What is the purpose of reminding oneself all the time that one is

the watcher?

 

M: The mind must learn that beyond the moving mind there is the

background of awareness, which does not change. The mind must come

to know the true self and respect it and cease covering it up, like

the moon which obscures the sun during solar eclipse. Just realize

that nothing observable, or experienceable is you, or binds you.

Take no notice of what is not yourself.

 

Q: To do what you tell me I must be ceaselessly aware.

 

M: To be aware is to be awake. Unaware means asleep. You are aware

anyhow, you need not try to be. What you need is to be aware of

being aware. Be aware deliberately and consciously, broaden and

deepen the field of awareness. You are always conscious of the mind,

but you are not aware of yourself as being conscious.

 

Q: As I can make out, you give distinct meanings to the

words 'mind', 'consciousness', and 'awareness'.

 

M: Look at it this way. The mind produces thoughts ceaselessly, even

when you do not look at them. When you know what is going on in your

mind, you call it consciousness. This is your waking state -- your

consciousness shifts from sensation to sensation, from perception to

perception, from idea to idea, in endless succession. Then comes

awareness, the direct insight into the whole of consciousness, the

totality of the mind. The mind is like a river, flowing ceaselessly

in the bed of the body; you identify yourself for a moment with some

particular ripple and call it: 'my thought'. All you are conscious

of is your mind; awareness is the cognizance of consciousness as a

whole.

 

Q: Everybody is conscious, but not everybody is aware.

 

M: Don't say: 'everybody is conscious'. Say: 'there is

consciousness', in which everything appears and disappears. Our

minds are just waves on the ocean of consciousness. As waves they

come and go. As ocean they are infinite and eternal. Know yourself

as the ocean of being, the womb of all existence. These are all

metaphors of course; the reality is beyond description. You can know

it only by being it.

 

--> To Be Continued <--

 

....Transcribed by Omkara...

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