Guest guest Posted March 8, 2002 Report Share Posted March 8, 2002 Hi everyone, I just joined the group. Wanted to post an introduction so that I felt part of the community, and also figured I would ask advice. I currently live in the country with no transportation, and usually only mix with people for 4 to 8 hours a week, however I find that when I do I am usually caught up in whirlwind of delusion. " What does he mean " , " What does she think of me " , " Why did he do that " , " What should I do " All these question rush into my mind, and I completely forget to detach myself from phenomena. I've grown to dislike my interaction with people tremendously because of this. I have noticed that I avoid interaction whenever possible, and have realized this to be a crutch I use to avoid pain. I am lost as to what will keep me focused. I find it hard not to care and be controlled by urges involving my own survival and procreation. Is there anyone else who has overcome or come to terms with their instincts, that could shed some advice? I feel completely lost as to what to do... Should I join a monastery, even though by doing so I am not facing experience as it comes to me? Should I live a normal life in the country, as far removed as possible from the emotional/sociological world of man, whilst still retaining independance? Or shall I mix freely? Obviously the latter sounds more enlightened, but how to do so without losing detachment? In truth the only reason I'm trying to find enlightenment at all is to end pain.. To stop the constant change of life which I find to be unsettling and painful. Since my search for enlightenment can be said to be no more noble than the search for wealth, or sex, or fame; should I even continute along these lines, or learn to live as effeciently and richly as possible? I am lost. Sinc, Matthew Mcanelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2002 Report Share Posted March 10, 2002 Nisargadatta, " daivam7 " <daivam7> wrote: I am lost. > Hi Matthew, Welcome to the club. I was hoping someone with more compassion would respond to you but here is my piece. Before the ruminations, let me start with the obvious. When I get a headache I take tylenol. Did you try therapy? Sometimes a good therapist can help. If you're looking for a roadmap, I don't think one can take a sage as a role model. Ramana led an ascetic life but when some visitors asked him to initiate them he discouraged them from renunciating. Ramana knew that the lover has no choice. If one was meant to be a monk, one will follow that path. On the other hand Nisargadatta followed the householder path. He was a married shopkeeper with children. At some point he tried the ascetic path but then he realized it was not for him. No doubt we are social beings. As a sufi saying goes mystics seek the company of other mystics. Virtual company is not enough. Sometimes joining a community (satsang, sangha) with people that you share common interests and making friends can be healing. It is not just what we get out of the group but also how much love we give. I don't mean devotion to a guru or dedication a particular group but devotion to love itself. Also the type of job we do and how we help others can be a path of love as well. Best wishes, Hur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2002 Report Share Posted March 12, 2002 Hi Matthew, Nisargadatta, " daivam7 " <daivam7> wrote: > I currently live in the country with no transportation, and usually > only mix with people for 4 to 8 hours a week, About 3 to 7 hours more than i do . I live with my brother though, so at least there's some social contact. > however I find that when I do I am usually caught up in whirlwind > of delusion. No surprise, since most are playing the game of delusion. The trick is not to get caught up. > " What does he mean " , " What does she think of me " , " Why did he do > that " , " What should I do " All these question rush into my mind, > and I completely forget to detach myself from phenomena. Just remember you are already detached. Infact you aren't attached or detached, just more on the periphery or more centered. The real 'you' is the center, the body-mind wanders. This is quite normal. > I've grown to dislike my interaction with people tremendously > because of this. I have noticed that I avoid interaction whenever > possible, and have realized this to be a crutch I use to avoid > pain. Great! Realizing something like that without immediately moving away from it could be called an accomplishment. > I am lost as to what will keep me focused. Clearly, you are focused. > I find it hard not to care and be controlled by urges involving my > own survival and procreation. Is there anyone else who has > overcome or come to terms with their instincts, that could shed > some advice? Sure... don't forget that the body-mind will do what it does, urges are built into the mechanism. BE, and allow. > I feel completely lost as to what to do... Should I join a > monastery, even though by doing so I am not facing experience as it > comes to me? Should I live a normal life in the country, as far > removed as possible from the emotional/sociological world of man, > whilst still retaining independance? Or shall I mix freely? What you should do is not ask others what to do... > I am lost. Great... remain lost for awhile, instead of trying to change things all the time, moving away from things as they are. And clarity will enter in by itself... there's nothing 'you' can do but stay out of the way. Namaste & Love, Tim / Omkara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 Nisargadatta, " daivam7 " <daivam7> wrote: > Hi everyone, I just joined the group. Wanted to post an introduction > so that I felt part of the community, and also figured I would ask > advice. > > I currently live in the country with no transportation, and usually > only mix with people for 4 to 8 hours a week, however I find that > when I do I am usually caught up in whirlwind of delusion. " What > does he mean " , " What does she think of me " , " Why did he do > that " , " What should I do " All these question rush into my mind, and > I completely forget to detach myself from phenomena. Hi Matt, One key thing I do is surrender in the morning or during the day when things get squirrely. It certainly could help to be part of a religious tradition to discover how--for me its AA. Basically it has to do with faith in God. Since God is everything and in charge, then the problem must be me. If I am not the problem, there is no solution. So, in the morning, I say a prayer like: God, you are in charge I give my life to you the good and bad to do with me as you please free me from the bondage of self that I might better do thy will Use me for your purpose I am your agent My life is no longer mine, but yours. let me do your will. I will do your bidding. When you give yourself to God, he gives himself to you. You can learn how to do this perhaps in a 12 step group. It is an American form of Advaita. Once you surrender, you can just pray to do the next right thing. If you do the right thing, thats about the best you can do. When you surrender and tell the truth about yourself, you can come to peace and a relationship with God--Find God Within Your Self I've grown to > dislike my interaction with people tremendously because of this. I > have noticed that I avoid interaction whenever possible, and have > realized this to be a crutch I use to avoid pain. I am lost as to > what will keep me focused. I find it hard not to care and be > controlled by urges involving my own survival and procreation. Is > there anyone else who has overcome or come to terms with their > instincts, that could shed some advice? If you can learn to deal with one addiction, you can deal with others. Find one to deal with and deal with it first, whichever is causing the most problems. For me it is alcohol. Then sex is another biggy after alcohol. Then there is self-centeredness such as taking things personally.... Whatever the addictions that keep you out of reality or into delusion, the process to get free is the same.. Its a process.... > > I feel completely lost as to what to do... Should I join a monastery, > even though by doing so I am not facing experience as it comes to > me? Should I live a normal life in the country, as far removed as > possible from the emotional/sociological world of man, whilst still > retaining independance? Or shall I mix freely? Obviously the latter > sounds more enlightened, but how to do so without losing detachment? A monastery or AA whatever or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or whatever. > > In truth the only reason I'm trying to find enlightenment at all is > to end pain.. To stop the constant change of life which I find to be > unsettling and painful. Since my search for enlightenment can be > said to be no more noble than the search for wealth, or sex, or fame; > should I even continute along these lines, or learn to live as > effeciently and richly as possible? I am lost. Well, you can learn to live life on lifes terms. Certainly enlightenment or Consciousness of God or Reality is noble because it will free you from the bondage you talked about in the top of your letter. > > Sinc, > Matthew Mcanelly Best of Luck! Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 hi matthew.... i suggest that you gather as many facts as possible, and then decide what YOU want to do. asking for suggestions from people, is great, but what it boils down to is that....nobody from this club really knows you, on the level of your ego persona. what is good for one person, may not be good for another!. there has no doubt been some outstanding advice offered to you from this club, but ultimately matthew, you need to look deeply within YOURSELF for the answer. like i said, also gather as many facts as possible, in order to make an INFORMED decision. for example, living in a monastery, particularly some zen monasteries, can give one, an outstanding opportunity to not only live in a sane enviornment, which can be conductive to ones ability to stay present, but it can also be a way to find an enormous amount of silence!, as well as a way to be around people who are also focused on realising there true self, which can be a big help. you mentioned that you were considering the monastery option in your letter....i was just using that as ONE example....find out, can i afford to live in a monastery?. can i get up at 4:00am every morning?. ultimately, only you can answer these questions. very best wishes... john Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 one more thing matthew, that i feel i should add is, the life that you are currently living is almost complete solitude.....this can be great for some people, solitude can work wonders, with quieting the " chatter in the skull " . it can be very effective for making progress rapidly, in regards to self inquiry, FOR SOME PEOPLE. however, if a person is very depressed....it can be a seriosly, bad idea! i dont really know your real situation matthew, but i highly recommend, that you be honest with yourself. namaste, john Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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