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Hi everyone, I just joined the group. Wanted to post an introduction

so that I felt part of the community, and also figured I would ask

advice.

 

I currently live in the country with no transportation, and usually

only mix with people for 4 to 8 hours a week, however I find that

when I do I am usually caught up in whirlwind of delusion. " What

does he mean " , " What does she think of me " , " Why did he do

that " , " What should I do " All these question rush into my mind, and

I completely forget to detach myself from phenomena. I've grown to

dislike my interaction with people tremendously because of this. I

have noticed that I avoid interaction whenever possible, and have

realized this to be a crutch I use to avoid pain. I am lost as to

what will keep me focused. I find it hard not to care and be

controlled by urges involving my own survival and procreation. Is

there anyone else who has overcome or come to terms with their

instincts, that could shed some advice?

 

I feel completely lost as to what to do... Should I join a monastery,

even though by doing so I am not facing experience as it comes to

me? Should I live a normal life in the country, as far removed as

possible from the emotional/sociological world of man, whilst still

retaining independance? Or shall I mix freely? Obviously the latter

sounds more enlightened, but how to do so without losing detachment?

 

In truth the only reason I'm trying to find enlightenment at all is

to end pain.. To stop the constant change of life which I find to be

unsettling and painful. Since my search for enlightenment can be

said to be no more noble than the search for wealth, or sex, or fame;

should I even continute along these lines, or learn to live as

effeciently and richly as possible? I am lost.

 

Sinc,

Matthew Mcanelly

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Nisargadatta, " daivam7 " <daivam7> wrote:

I am lost.

>

 

Hi Matthew,

 

Welcome to the club. I was hoping someone with more compassion would

respond to you but here is my piece. Before the ruminations, let me

start with the obvious. When I get a headache I take tylenol. Did

you try therapy? Sometimes a good therapist can help.

 

If you're looking for a roadmap, I don't think one can take a sage as

a role model. Ramana led an ascetic life but when some visitors

asked him to initiate them he discouraged them from renunciating.

Ramana knew that the lover has no choice. If one was meant to be a

monk, one will follow that path. On the other hand Nisargadatta

followed the householder path. He was a married shopkeeper with

children. At some point he tried the ascetic path but then he

realized it was not for him.

 

No doubt we are social beings. As a sufi saying goes mystics seek

the company of other mystics. Virtual company is not enough.

Sometimes joining a community (satsang, sangha) with people that you

share common interests and making friends can be healing. It is not

just what we get out of the group but also how much love we give. I

don't mean devotion to a guru or dedication a particular group but

devotion to love itself. Also the type of job we do and how we help

others can be a path of love as well.

 

Best wishes,

 

Hur

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Hi Matthew,

 

Nisargadatta, " daivam7 " <daivam7> wrote:

 

> I currently live in the country with no transportation, and usually

> only mix with people for 4 to 8 hours a week,

 

About 3 to 7 hours more than i do ;). I live with my brother though,

so at least there's some social contact.

 

> however I find that when I do I am usually caught up in whirlwind

> of delusion.

 

No surprise, since most are playing the game of delusion. The trick

is not to get caught up.

 

> " What does he mean " , " What does she think of me " , " Why did he do

> that " , " What should I do " All these question rush into my mind,

> and I completely forget to detach myself from phenomena.

 

Just remember you are already detached. Infact you aren't attached

or detached, just more on the periphery or more centered. The

real 'you' is the center, the body-mind wanders. This is quite

normal.

 

> I've grown to dislike my interaction with people tremendously

> because of this. I have noticed that I avoid interaction whenever

> possible, and have realized this to be a crutch I use to avoid

> pain.

 

Great! Realizing something like that without immediately moving away

from it could be called an accomplishment.

 

> I am lost as to what will keep me focused.

 

Clearly, you are focused.

 

> I find it hard not to care and be controlled by urges involving my

> own survival and procreation. Is there anyone else who has

> overcome or come to terms with their instincts, that could shed

> some advice?

 

Sure... don't forget that the body-mind will do what it does, urges

are built into the mechanism. BE, and allow.

 

> I feel completely lost as to what to do... Should I join a

> monastery, even though by doing so I am not facing experience as it

> comes to me? Should I live a normal life in the country, as far

> removed as possible from the emotional/sociological world of man,

> whilst still retaining independance? Or shall I mix freely?

 

What you should do is not ask others what to do...

 

> I am lost.

 

Great... remain lost for awhile, instead of trying to change things

all the time, moving away from things as they are. And clarity will

enter in by itself... there's nothing 'you' can do but stay out of

the way.

 

Namaste & Love,

 

Tim / Omkara

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Nisargadatta, " daivam7 " <daivam7> wrote:

> Hi everyone, I just joined the group. Wanted to post an

introduction

> so that I felt part of the community, and also figured I would ask

> advice.

>

> I currently live in the country with no transportation, and usually

> only mix with people for 4 to 8 hours a week, however I find that

> when I do I am usually caught up in whirlwind of delusion. " What

> does he mean " , " What does she think of me " , " Why did he do

> that " , " What should I do " All these question rush into my mind,

and

> I completely forget to detach myself from phenomena.

 

 

Hi Matt,

 

One key thing I do is surrender in the morning or during the day when

things get squirrely. It certainly could help to be part of a

religious tradition to discover how--for me its AA. Basically it has

to do with faith in God. Since God is everything and in charge, then

the problem must be me. If I am not the problem, there is no

solution. So, in the morning, I say a prayer like:

 

God, you are in charge

I give my life to you

the good and bad

to do with me as you please

free me from the bondage of self

that I might better do thy will

Use me for your purpose

I am your agent

My life is no longer mine, but yours.

let me do your will.

I will do your bidding.

 

When you give yourself to God, he gives himself to you. You can

learn how to do this perhaps in a 12 step group. It is an American

form of Advaita.

 

Once you surrender, you can just pray to do the next right thing. If

you do the right thing, thats about the best you can do.

 

When you surrender and tell the truth about yourself, you can come to

peace and a relationship with God--Find God Within Your Self

 

 

 

I've grown to

> dislike my interaction with people tremendously because of this. I

> have noticed that I avoid interaction whenever possible, and have

> realized this to be a crutch I use to avoid pain. I am lost as to

> what will keep me focused. I find it hard not to care and be

> controlled by urges involving my own survival and procreation. Is

> there anyone else who has overcome or come to terms with their

> instincts, that could shed some advice?

 

If you can learn to deal with one addiction, you can deal with

others. Find one to deal with and deal with it first, whichever is

causing the most problems. For me it is alcohol. Then sex is

another biggy after alcohol. Then there is self-centeredness such as

taking things personally.... Whatever the addictions that keep you

out of reality or into delusion, the process to get free is the same..

 

Its a process....

 

 

>

> I feel completely lost as to what to do... Should I join a

monastery,

> even though by doing so I am not facing experience as it comes to

> me? Should I live a normal life in the country, as far removed as

> possible from the emotional/sociological world of man, whilst still

> retaining independance? Or shall I mix freely? Obviously the

latter

> sounds more enlightened, but how to do so without losing detachment?

 

A monastery or AA whatever or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or

whatever.

 

 

>

> In truth the only reason I'm trying to find enlightenment at all is

> to end pain.. To stop the constant change of life which I find to

be

> unsettling and painful. Since my search for enlightenment can be

> said to be no more noble than the search for wealth, or sex, or

fame;

> should I even continute along these lines, or learn to live as

> effeciently and richly as possible? I am lost.

 

Well, you can learn to live life on lifes terms. Certainly

enlightenment or Consciousness of God or Reality is noble because it

will free you from the bondage you talked about in the top of your

letter.

>

> Sinc,

> Matthew Mcanelly

 

Best of Luck!

 

Paul

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hi matthew....

 

i suggest that you gather as many facts as possible, and then decide

what YOU want to do. asking for suggestions from people, is great,

but what it boils down to is that....nobody from this club really

knows you, on the level of your ego persona.

 

what is good for one person, may not be good for another!. there has

no doubt been some outstanding advice offered to you from this club,

but ultimately matthew, you need to look deeply within YOURSELF for

the answer.

 

like i said, also gather as many facts as possible, in order to make

an INFORMED decision. for example, living in a monastery,

particularly some zen monasteries, can give one, an outstanding

opportunity to not only live in a sane enviornment, which can be

conductive to ones ability to stay present, but it can also be a way

to find an enormous amount of silence!, as well as a way to be around

people who are also focused on realising there true self, which can

be a big help.

 

you mentioned that you were considering the monastery option in your

letter....i was just using that as ONE example....find out, can i

afford to live in a monastery?. can i get up at 4:00am every

morning?. ultimately, only you can answer these questions.

 

very best wishes...

john

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one more thing matthew, that i feel i should add is, the life that

you are currently living is almost complete solitude.....this can be

great for some people, solitude can work wonders, with quieting

the " chatter in the skull " . it can be very effective for making

progress rapidly, in regards to self inquiry, FOR SOME PEOPLE.

 

however, if a person is very depressed....it can be a seriosly, bad

idea! i dont really know your real situation matthew, but i highly

recommend, that you be honest with yourself.

 

namaste, john

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