Fwd: 65 & 66

[Guest guest]

65.

 

 

For the moon to rise like

this rising Love in my Heart,

surely it has something to do with

the darting dragonflies flitting

above the plum tree standing

at the foot of the hill.

Surely, this Love IS

the moon rising

the dragonflies flitting

and the plum tree standing

at the foot of the hill.

 

 

 

 

66.

 

 

Against the sky at dusk

i could not discern the color

of the dragonflies' wings

as they flitted about

above the plum tree.

Against the darkening hillside

so somber and silent

i could not detect the color

of the plum tree's blossoms

scattered across the ground.

Against the Heart breaking open

i could not fathom the color

of anything being other than

Love's invisibility

becoming visible.

 

 

 

LoveAlways,

 

Mazie

[Guest guest]

Hi Mazie,

Great poetry, thanks. Playing a role I admit

I'm only half qualify for: the prick critic.

I would say that 66 is perfect until the last

stanza about the heart and love. Do you write

that because you think your readers won't get it,

or because you like being obvious and redundant?

--- mazie_l & lt;sraddha54 & gt; wrote:

& gt;

& gt; 65.

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; For the moon to rise like

& gt; this rising Love in my Heart,

& gt; surely it has something to do with

& gt; the darting dragonflies flitting

& gt; above the plum tree standing

& gt; at the foot of the hill.

& gt; Surely, this Love IS

& gt; the moon rising

& gt; the dragonflies flitting

& gt; and the plum tree standing

& gt; at the foot of the hill.

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; 66.

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; Against the sky at dusk

& gt; i could not discern the color

& gt; of the dragonflies' wings

& gt; as they flitted about

& gt; above the plum tree.

& gt; Against the darkening hillside

& gt; so somber and silent

& gt; i could not detect the color

& gt; of the plum tree's blossoms

& gt; scattered across the ground.

& gt; Against the Heart breaking open

& gt; i could not fathom the color

& gt; of anything being other than

& gt; Love's invisibility

& gt; becoming visible.

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; LoveAlways,

& gt;

& gt; Mazie

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;