communication and enneagram #5- questions (lengthy)

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I'M O.K. If I don't Feel, Your're O.K. if You Don't Make me Feel

or

I'm O.K. If I reject you, You're o.K. If I reject You, Before You Reject me

 

This fixation of attention strategy of the observer/personality dyad to fixate attention is representative of the schizoid personality in character analysis. The schizoid personality, according to Alexander Lowen, was formed in the womb. This character type feels rejection from the mother, and hence is fearful. To combat this fear, the schizoid freezes all feeling and numbs out and becomes involved in premature observation. Like premature ejaculation, premature observation is a defense against feeling. In other words, the schizoid cannot feel; therefore, she/he observes, and acts "of if" she/he is feeling. This fixation strategy is called the Observer by Palmer, the Thinker by Riso, and is said to seek wholeness through isolation by Naranjo. In this fixation of attention we have a powerful I-dentity which has an inability to feel, or cannot feel. This fixation confuses thoughts with feelings. This fixation of attention strategy is an observer/personality dyad that is prematurely in a state of observation. This premature observation looks spiritual from the outside. The person is detached, non-feeling, slightly aloof, and seems to like to be alone. In reality, however, he/she is dissociated from their feelings and their body and has a difficult time interrelating with others, particularly in th area of intimacy. this strategy of the observer/personality dyad looks spiritual and is called the Unenlightened Buddha, because ideas and thoughts are mistaken as experiences. In other words, they think experience rather than having experiences. This observer/personality dyad reacts internally to a fear of being engulfed, and imagines people want from them, even if they do not. Needs are not felt and often spirtualized, with an unacknowledged fear. All of this leads the person to detach prematurely without the ability to connect with others. In other words, their premature observations is a reaction against feeling the fear of the trauma of loss of being. Hence it is premature evacuation. In other words, they act "as if," they are connected or pretend so that others will not see their emptiness. This lack of feeling is labeled spiritual and often times they think, and others around them think, they are spiritual and meditating, when actually they are terrified and medicating. This occurs because this observer/personality dyad implodes rather than feels during an experience and leaves their body thus going in to premature observation. The observer in this fixation labels the emptiness as nothing; hence they accumulate things, ideas, etc. and are subject to avarice.

At this placement of attention, the observer/personality dyad's fantasies and ideas are presumed to be experiences. In character analysis the schiziod unknowingly has a deep fear of rejection. Alexander Lowen, M.D. suggests that the schizoid personality originates intrautero and occurs through the biological rejection of the mother. Schizoids have a body type which is bony, with high cheek bones, and the structure of the oberver/personality dyad and rejection is actually held in the bones. Often the schizoid has a covering over their eyes so that even if you are making eye-contact with them, you cannot connect with them. This personality either assumes rejection, sets themselves up for rejection, or rejects others before getting rejected. In politics Dan Quayle has this fixation with a very wooden-like, almost puppet-like appearance, constantly setting himself up to be rejected, and rejecting others (Murphy Brown and single mothers) before getting rejected by Murphy Brown and single moms. Ross Perot also holds his fixation. Perot left the race for President as soon as his pols dropped after the Democratic Convention. Simply stated, fearing and imagining rejection, he would reject the media before they rejected him. Perot would walk into a press conference, a reporter would ask a question, Perot would see it as a rejection, get angry, reject the press and walk off the platform. In other words, the #5 will isolate themselves out of fear of rejection. Consequently, they buffer and hide themselves in a cloak of detachment never really experiencing life, and having to act "as if" they do. In this way they act "as if" they care, or feel, or are interested; but to the individual in relationship with a schizoid, there is always something missing. In this case, it is them."

 

Hi,

 

Why doesn't Wolinsky or others speak of type fixations in terms of their being like syndromes? A syndrome would imply that while the individual has habituated the conditioned behavior it isn't the core of their personality.

If the individual is predominantly type #5 are there circumstances under which he/she will exhibit that behavior to a greater or lesser degree?

In the book, Wolinsky presents counseling sessions with #5 types, which supposely typifies their conditioned behavior. He suggests and provides therapeutic questioning that counteracts and mollifies the conditioned behavior.

 

In the session example, "Fred is a psychologist, about 45, from California whose presenting problem is a resistance to getting close to his wife."

 

Apparently, this Fred who apparently was visiting Wolinsky is different from a "schizoid". It Fred had developed the habit of being Nonresponsive to his wife, is that the way he relates to others in general, which would apparently make him a certifid #5 type.

What if we only resorted to #5 type behavior under particular circumstances? It may be that #5 type persons gravitate towards circumstances that allows them to behave in a way that does not challenge their fixation. Questions, questions!

 

Let's speak of you and I. Can we say that the way in which we are interacting with each other there are indicators of "premature rejection".

Of course there are, but at what level does it indicate that someone is exhibiting "#5"?

Consider the variations of our email "conversations". The notion of being rejected can be discussed and it could be determined that there are indicators of whether people are prematurely rejected or dismissed.

When we argue or debate, it can appear as either a desire to be engaged in correspondence while attempting to clear up differences in understanding or that the argumentation can be a way of keeping a distance.

 

Physical distance is a main component in our communication. There is little probability of a physical "threat" or "opportunity" in our relating to each other in this fashion.

If we "click" with each other it happens without the familiar "physical" cues.

I say that the context here is constrainted by heady interactions. But we are used to heady interactions, i.e., much of our everyday "work" is done "out of the head" (very limited emotional content)...the mask of Professionalism can be cold and distant; but the attitude of professionalism is meant to demonstrate "clear thinking".

 

Becker:

 

"Fives like to do abstract analyses of the world around them. In other words they prefer thinking to doing, and they are often out of touch with the practical side of life. Their ability to translate their own impulses into action is underdeveloped."

 

cornelius

 

 

eternal_now