To NM list re I-statements and you-statements

[Guest guest]

Does everyone here understand the

difference between an " I statement "

and a " you statement " ?

 

Someone who makes an " I statement "

has the courage to state something

about himself.

 

Only an " I statement " can be a statement

of fact.

 

" You statements " are always assumptions,

presumptions, or allegations.

 

I personally disregard messages that

consist of " you statements " . Any response

at all dignifies them beyond their true

value.

 

It's kind of like terrorism. Terrorists

like attention. They like to make a stir.

They like to make a fuss. And if the press

gives them attention they are generally

successful. Similarly some visitors here

will try to make a stir with audacious

insulting remarks. My advice: Don't rise

to the bait. It is very easy to deal with

such messages. Just delete them. Don't

respond. To respond at all is to simply

pour gas on the fire.

 

Also notice that it is sometimes hard

not to respond. When someone is taunting

you it may be difficult not to fire back

a retort. But we are studying living

inner peace here. So such provocations

are an excellent opportunity to practice.

 

 

-Bill

 

 

PS: Note that a statement of the form:

" I think you are _____ " is not an

I-statement, it is a you-statement.

[Guest guest]

Excellent approach! They are seeking attention. They

want confirmation, reassurance. Only reply if you want

to help with a pat on the head or a kick in the ass.

 

Pete

--- Bill Rishel & lt;plexus & gt; wrote:

& gt; Does everyone here understand the

& gt; difference between an & #34;I statement & #34;

& gt; and a & #34;you statement & #34;?

& gt;

& gt; Someone who makes an & #34;I statement & #34;

& gt; has the courage to state something

& gt; about himself.

& gt;

& gt; Only an & #34;I statement & #34; can be a statement

& gt; of fact.

& gt;

& gt; & #34;You statements & #34; are always assumptions,

& gt; presumptions, or allegations.

& gt;

& gt; I personally disregard messages that

& gt; consist of & #34;you statements & #34;. Any response

& gt; at all dignifies them beyond their true

& gt; value.

& gt;

& gt; It's kind of like terrorism. Terrorists

& gt; like attention. They like to make a stir.

& gt; They like to make a fuss. And if the press

& gt; gives them attention they are generally

& gt; successful. Similarly some visitors here

& gt; will try to make a stir with audacious

& gt; insulting remarks. My advice: Don't rise

& gt; to the bait. It is very easy to deal with

& gt; such messages. Just delete them. Don't

& gt; respond. To respond at all is to simply

& gt; pour gas on the fire.

& gt;

& gt; Also notice that it is sometimes hard

& gt; not to respond. When someone is taunting

& gt; you it may be difficult not to fire back

& gt; a retort. But we are studying living

& gt; inner peace here. So such provocations

& gt; are an excellent opportunity to practice.

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; -Bill

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; PS: Note that a statement of the form:

& gt; & #34;I think you are _____ & #34; is not an

& gt; I-statement, it is a you-statement.

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;