passing it on

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I just received this and thought u might enjoy it.

 

The Laugh ForceSwami's 2003 State of the Universe Addressby Swami BeyondanandaHello everybody -- it is great to be here .... and you know what? Wereally have no choice. Because no matter where we are, we are alwayshere. And it is always now. In fact, there's even a book called ThePower of Now. I haven't had time to read it yet, but I hope to get toit in a later now.Meanwhile, back in this now, the issue facing the United States, andindeed the world is, will George Bush give in to his Big Iraq Attackand order up a war? Latest reports say that a war to force a regimechange in Iraq will cost $200 billion. It is puzzling to me why someof those fiscal fitness fanatics in the Republican Party haven'ttried to find a cheaper way to do it. Maybe if they offered theIraqis half -- $100 billion -- they could do it themselves. Then we'dstill have $100 billion left to spend on regime change in thiscountry.Because -- and I have to be blunt here -- the folks we have in chargeare fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And in the reptilian brain,problems aren't solved, they're attacked. Like the War on Poverty.Remember that? I'm happy to report that it's finally over. The poorpeople have all surrendered. And take the War on Drugs -- please!How many billions have they spent? My solution is cheaper and moreeffective ... improve reality!Now we have the War on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize thoseterrorists into giving up terrorism if it's the last thing we do!And it just might be. The good news is -- and I have it on the HighestAuthority -- there will indeed be peace on Earth. Whether we humansare around to enjoy it, that is up to us.No wonder there is so much fear, uncertainty and confusion on theplanet. I'll tell you how bad it's gotten. You've heard ofHeisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Well, they're not even sure aboutTHAT anymore. And so, more and more people are turning to the mysticsfor answers.I have often said there are two kinds of mystics, the optimystics andthe pessimystics. Now pessimystics seem to be more in touch with"reality," but optimystics are happier and live longer for somereason. The pessimystics have been crying, "The sky is falling, thesky is falling!" The optimystics say, "No. It just looks that waybecause we are ascending." Now, for those people who read the news --not to mention those unfortunate enough to BE in the news -- lastyear was not an easy year to keep an optimystic attitude with so muchpessimystic evidence. Call me a hopeless "hopium" addict, but Ichoose to accentuate the positive. For example, you can say we humanbeings have moved further down the path of self-destruction. Or youcould say the Earth is ridding itself of a virulent parasite.You can despair over continuing war, disease and starvation, or youcan go, "Hey, population control the good, old fashioned way --without birth control or abortion." Who says "compassionateconservative" is an oxymoron? You can worry about the governmenttaking liberties with our liberties or you can say, "Life hasbecome simpler! They've boiled the Bill of Rights down to just one:You have the right to remain silent."So I am not going to dwell on the negative. As my guru Harry CohenBaba used to say, "Life is like photography ... we use the negativeto develop." So let us look at the bright side. Like technologicaladvances, for example. Forty years ago President John F. Kennedypromised to have a man on the moon by the end of the 1960s. Well, wehave far exceeded that. Thanks to the so-called Patriot Act, GeorgeBush can have a man on Uranus by the end of the week! George Bush wasresponsible for a great spiritual advance last year, as well. Heupgraded the Golden Rule for the new millennium. It's now the GoldRule: "Doodoo unto others before they can doodoo unto you."And -- say what you will -- President Bush has made great strides onbehalf of minority representation. Never before have we had aPresident who was looking out for a smaller minority. Now this is theState of the Universe Address, and seen from that higher perspective,things look great! I am happy to report that the Universe continuedto expand in 2002, and in fact, they actually had to let the PhotonBelt out a another notch. An expanding Universe means more jobs too,so we can expect a steady influx of aliens looking for work. Yep, theUniverse just keeps purring in perfection, ever-changing as usual.The planets continue to harmoniously spin in their orbits, and exceptfor the occasional case of asteroids, they just calmly go about theirbusiness.Meanwhile, back here on earth, things are a bit more problematical.We still haven't fully recovered from that vicious dogma attack of911. But as an optimystic, I believe you can indeed teach an olddogma new tricks, simply by changing the emPHAsis to anothersylLABle. Instead of focusing only on emergency measures, why nottake emerge 'n SEE measures?When we emerge from our fearful hiding places and see from the cosmiccomic perspective, we realize that beneath all the stress anddistress and sadness in life there is a deep well of joy. Each timewe let laughter bubble up from the well, we experience deep wellness.Levity helps us overcome gravity, especially when we shine the lightof laughter on those poorly-lit corridors of power.Do you know what the leading cause of terrorism is? It's seriousness.I'm serious. Think about it. Those people have no sense of humor.Otherwise how could they believe they will get to heaven by puttingother people through hell? Here is my vision: A suicide bomberarrives at the Gates of Heaven, and God clops him over the headand says, "SCHMUCK! What'd you do that for? 72 virgins? YOU getone 72-year-old virgin, and his name starts with Ayatollah!"But if Americans are willing to revive the Iraqi Horror Picture Showjust to feed our out-of-control oil habit, how are we that different?How many innocents will be put through hell, just to preserve ourlittle corner of relative heaven? There is no real peace withoutharmony and balance, only the vicious cycle of injustice.Peons get tired of getting peed on, right? You get pissed on, andpretty soon you're gonna get pissed off. This causes the hot spots toflare, and pretty soon you have an uprising, which usually results ina downfall. All these uprisings and downfalls can be wearing on thebody politic.Fortunately, we do have a choice. One of my favorite stories recentlyis about a Native American grandfather talking to his young grandson.He tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with eachother. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The otherwolf is fear, greed and hatred. "Which wolf will win, grandfather?"asks the young boy. "Whichever one I feed," is the reply.Every day -- every moment -- we have the choice to feed the wolf oflove or the wolf of fear. It is interesting that we are calledhumanKIND. What better time than now to find out, can mankind treatman kindly?I have a dream ... I call it tell-a-vision. I say, if you'redissatisfied with the current programming, you can turn off your TVand tell a vision instead. Here is my vision: Remember the ManhattanProject during World War II? It took less than four years for a groupof scientists to develop the first weapon of mass destruction. Myvision is, we can do even better for an even worthier goal. We couldcall it the Manhelpin Project, and its purpose would be to developthe first weapon of mass construction instead.Think about it. What if we used that $200 billion set to detonate inIraq, and put it toward becoming the worldwide leader in renewable,clean, sustainable energy sources? Now there's some real power.Create something so plentiful you don't have to pay an army toprotect your share. A healthy income, a healthy outcome ... whatcould possibly make more sense? Boy, talk about feeding two birdswith one scone! The choice is up to us. If we want an alternative, wemust feed the "alter native" economy ... anything that alters usnatives for the better. The world we live in is a byproduct of theproducts we buy, is it not? What if we only choose to buy productswith healthy byproducts? Think about this: There are at least 45million Americans who consciously want to feed the wolf of peace. Ifeach of us switched just $100 into the alter native economy, thatwould be $4.5 billion!Last year, we launched a blisskrieg and declared "all out peace." I'mhappy to report it is already working.More people are letting their inner peace out, and these outbreaks ofpeace are actually causing esteem to rise! And we all know thatrising esteem is good for the atmosphere. As esteem rises, morepeople on the planet will be able to be all that they can be --without joining the army. And when more of us put our energy intolove and laughter instead of criticizing and condemning, we will haveUncritical Mass ... and we will bring about Nonjudgment Day, andalong with it, Disarmaggedon. Now you might be wondering, what willNonjudgment Day look like? Let me tell another vision.I have been to the heights of levity, and I have seen people all overthe world dancing together in the universal dance of fool realization... The Hokey Pokey. I want you to hold this vision with me: all ofthe world leaders at the United Nations beginning their sessions withthe Hokey Pokey. What if Ariel Sharon and Yasser Arafat put theirwhole selves in in? That would be commitment. And then pulled theirwhole selves out. That is detachment. Then they turn themselvesaround, which is transformation. And that, my friends, is what it isall about!So, how can you help raise the laugh force on the planet enough tobring about Nonjudgment Day? First, you can take a vow of levity, andlaugh more. And we even have a Laughmore Society to help you do justthat. Next, you can support everyone's right to laugh by joining theRight To Laugh Party ..."One big party, everyone is invited. All for fun, and fun for all."Commit random acts of comedy. Practice Fun Shui and leave the world afunnier place. Anything to elicit a moment of fool-realization with aspark of laughter. Because only when we lovingly laugh at ourfoolishness, can we seriously change things for the better .May you wake up laughing and leave laughter in your wake ...and may the Farce be with you!