Guest guest Posted August 17, 2003 Report Share Posted August 17, 2003 please send me spiritual messages Win TVs, Bikes, DVD players and more! Click on India Promos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2003 Report Share Posted August 17, 2003 Live in Light Live in Love Live in the Essence of Being ashok dudee [ashokdudee]Sunday, August 17, 2003 7:23 AMNisargadatta Subject: spiritual messages please send me spiritual messages Win TVs, Bikes, DVD players and more! Click on India Promos **If you do not wish to receive individual emails, to change your subscription, sign in with your ID and go to Edit My Groups: /mygroups?edit=1Under the Message Delivery option, choose "No Email" for the Nisargadatta group and click on Save Changes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2003 Report Share Posted August 17, 2003 Nisargadatta , ashok dudee <ashokdudee> wrote: > please send me spiritual messages OK. -To err is human-- to blame it on someone else is more human. -Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups -Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, fattening or married. -If you don't care where you are, you ain't never lost. -How long is a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on. -Fact is solidified opinion. ---- - Light bulbs the key to enlightenment How many Indians required to screw in a lightulb? 900 Million to pray to God for the old one to go back on. How many Catholics needed? Two, one to screw it in and one to repent How many Lesbians? Five, one to screw it in, and four to discuss how it is much more gratifying than a man. How many neurotics in therapy? One- for 3 hours a week for 5 years. How many psychotherapists? Difficult to answer as he will immediately ask " Since when did you start having this fantasy' How many Indian Mahatmas? Four, one to screw it in and three to complain how the old one was better. How many celibate Jesuits? Two, one to screw it it and the other one to hold the first one's knee to keep from jerking. ------------------ A woman had been mugged unconscious, robbed of all her belongings including her clothes and left lying naked on the road. The first person passing by was a Rabbi and quickly took of his hat and placed it to cover her naked-ness. Looking around for what to do next, comes along another man and inquires what's happened. Explaining , the rabbi adds " I am going to get some help " " Hey wait a moment " says the other man, " Hadn't you better get that %$#* & ^ rabbi out of there " . --- A guy named Ed was attending a banquet held in his honour at the local Rotary Club.At the end of the supper, he had to give a speech. Never having spoken in public to live people, Ed was very nervous and asked his wife alongside to pinch him whenever he was making a boo-boo during his speech. Immediately after Ed finished his ice-cream, he got up and started speaking " Ladies and gentlemen, I am overwhelmed, I shudder with emotion from top to bottom.....ouch " his wife had pinched him. Ed stopped talking, thought for a moment and began again " Sincerely ladies and gentlemen I feel emotional chills invading my soul...ouch " another pinch another pause and another beginning " Ladies...... ouch " . " What's the matter " roared Ed turning to his wife. " I have not even said anything " . Hissed his wife " Your fly is open and your balls are resting inside the ice cream cup. " -------------------------- According to ancient Akashic records....................... Mary had just given birth to her son after a difficult labour. Exhausted she lay back on the hay to have some rest and in troops in half a dozen shepherds, half a dozen kings and half a dozen wise men from the East. She rolls up her eyes and looking at her husband in disgust , says " Jesus,what a way to spend Christmas. " And the holies of the holies........ ......Win TVs, Bikes, DVD players and more!Click on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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