entranced entrance to enlightenment in three easy steps

[Guest guest]

> 1. " Lather "

> Inhale deeply the edible moments of your life, moments that are

> small, white, round and hard, like tapioca balls. Inhale deeply the

> tapioca balls of your life. Soon you will feel as if you are

> floating on a sea of remorse, swimming through a sea of comfort,

> backstroking through a sea of flowery soporificity, etc.,

> progressing through levels of increasingly inappropriate metaphor

> until you are dog-paddling in a sea of mucus. It is very thick, but

> even if you go under, you will not drown, partly because of your

> superior willpower and stage of enlightenment, but mostly because

> you have inhaled deeply the tapioca balls of your life.

>

> 2. " Rinse "

> What I am trying to convey to you is a sense of the mystical wonder

> of the nature which we have created--not because we are creators

> (far from it! we are a race of destroyers!), but because, through

> the fact that it was created by Another, we have also created it, in

> a sort of consensual brainstorming session in which we sit around on

> deck chairs with the Supreme Being kicking back a few cases of

> Miller Lite. Suddenly, an idea pounces on you: " Let us create an

> atmosphere of general happiness and well-being by improving the

> market for new ethnic restaurants, thus increasing the supply of

> tandoori and satay for all. " This is how we participate in the

> decision-making process with the Big CEO in the Sky.

>

> 3. " Repeat "

> The object of this exercise is to celebrate your individual

> diversity. Get up from your chair, breathe deeply, walk straight out

> your front door without locking it, and wander directly into the

> path of a large oncoming truck. At the moment you are hit, observe

> (as objectively as possible) the amazing variety of bodily organs

> and fluids that your body possesses. Consider your navel, your

> pineal gland, and of course your spleen. Then let all of it fall

> apart, much as if you were hit by a large oncoming truck.

>

> 1997-2001 Narciso Jaramillo absurdities | dyslexikon | nj's face