Experiences with Bob Adamson

[Guest guest]

I had been on the path since my teenage years, well over

30 years of seeking in various forms: Christianity, theosophy, Krishnamurti

(I went to his talks in Ojai in the 1980s), Buddhism, Hinduism, yoga. In my

mid 20s I was introduced to Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj

(through books on their lives and teachings).

 

Something about those teachers seemed solid and unshakeable and

I found myself returning to their teachings over the years, even though

I can't say I fully (or even partially) understood or experienced what

they were talking about fully.

 

Then I did the circuit of many of the contemporary teachers like Isaac

Shapiro, Neelam, Adyashanti, Francis Lucille, Eckart Tolle, Parsons, etc. There was undoubtedly a benefit but I was not fully satisfied

for some reason. Either it was my confusion or something not fully

clear in the teachings being presented . Most likely

the former! Of the above, I most fully resonate now with Tony Parsons,

but he was not around much in California. I only met him once, so I didn't have

enough of a chance to experience him and his teaching in person. Now I feel

that

had I had a chance to " hang out " with him more, that may well have

been the end of the road. For some reason my destiny was to meet

Bob Adamson, one of Nisargadatta Maharaj's Western students. For more

info on Bob, who is currently teaching in Melbourne, Australia,

see his website:

 

http://members.austarmetro.com.au/~adamson7/index.html

 

What I have found is that there is only so much you can get from books

and meditating on your own. The growth is there, but it is often slow

and you are not getting much direct experience. I vaguely felt that I was

" progressing " but if I honestly looked at my experience, I did not fully

understand what the teachers were pointing to and my actual experience

was not free of suffering. I knew the seeking was not over; something

was missing. Had I not met Bob, the seeking may have gone on for

decades, or at least until I met someone with a full understanding. Who

knows who that might have been or when, but, barring that, I am pretty

sure the seeking and suffering would have continued for a long time.

 

I had met some Raman Maharshi followers who had been on the

path of self-inquiry for 20 or 30 years. I was nowhere near their

level of devotion, so it was pretty much out the picture that that

approach would " work " for me, during this lifetime at least. As

I look at this now, it is not so much Ramana's teaching that is

faulty, but the mind's inevitable tendency to turn any teaching

into a practice, and practices generally are interminable, as

they are usually based on false premises.

 

I am a firm believer that meeting someone with this understanding, talking

with them, and getting your doubts cleared in person is a key factor

for things to open up. This was my experience anyway.

 

I intuitively felt that it was important for me to meet someone

in that state; someone I trusted and could talk to and share my

doubts and concerns. Yet I was unsure about what teachers

were " authentic " ; none seemed to resonate fully. I used to read

Nisargadatta Maharaj a lot. I could not understand his teaching

fully, given all the Hindu verbiage and translation issues, but I

felt intuitively that he was a free being. Everyone can sense that,

even if the words are not clear. I used to wonder if there was

anyone alive who had studied with him and really got the experience

of self-knowledge. I eventually stumbled across Bob Adamson

after all those years of looking and something resonated strongly.

Even when I read the content on his website, there was a strong feeling

of " maybe this it. "

 

Actually, I had a very vivid dream of Maharaj, in which he was

encouraging me not to give up the search or something like that, then

shortly afterwards, I heard about Bob Adamson.

 

Not wanting to miss the chance (having not been able to see Maharaj

while he was alive) I decided to visit Bob in person in Australia.

You can imagine my desperation and/or motivation! Going to Australia

on the chance that he might be able to clarify my doubts and questions!

 

What I find in reading and talking to others is that this understanding

almost never comes from reading or thinking about it. Books

are usually just the recordings of actual dialogues that took place

between a seeker and a teacher sometime in the past. The reader

is trying to decipher the meaning through words and concepts

on the page, of an event that took place in past. The books

are like maps, pointing to something real that was being pointed

to in a dialogue between living people. Usually, the reader

does not have a clear understanding of what is being revealed

(at least I didn't) and so you are trying to ' " figure it out " in

the mind. A noble attempt, but as Bob points out within

a few minutes of talking to him " the answer can never be

found in the mind " . So, since the experience is not forthcoming,

you naturally assume that you are not " there " and that there

must be some technique or path, but somehow you

are not quite sure what it is! And the mind keeps

generating the same old bondage and suffering.

 

A frustrating cycle, because you intuitively feel a glimmer

of hope or light or truth in the readings but somehow it

doesn't fully click. The vast majority of people that I have

met have had this exact same experience. And they

are inevitably driven to try to find a living teacher with

whom they can talk and relate with face to face. At that point, you move

off the track of being a casual " arm chair " seeker and you

become a participant in the dialogues, just like the ones you

used to read about in books. You move into the realm of

direct experience.

 

I met many teachers, but it wasn't until I met Bob that I was

convinced that I was dealing with someone fully living the

experience. Something radically shifted for me because

I was face to face with the vitality, the confidence, the energy

of that understanding. The first day after I arrived he sat

down and looked me in the eyes and said point blank

" Do you have any doubts or questions. Is there anything

you need to know? " It was kind of disarming because

I realized he was free of doubts and was essentially

offering me a chance to " get it " for myself RIGHT THEN

AND THERE. Kind of like " The seeking is over, the reading

is over, you are here, are you ready to go for this completely

here and now? "

 

Fortunately, I jumped at the chance and cast aside my theoretical

knowledge and got down to getting off my chest my REAL

doubts, questions, and problems.

 

Surprisingly, things cleared up very quickly. Being face

to face with that clarity -- coupled with my own desire

to be free -- seemed to allow things to shift quickly. The basic

teaching is very simple, almost too simple. So simple

the mind overlooks it. What I didn't realize was

that it has nothing to do with reading or meditating or

doing anything, or working anything out or stilling the

mind, etc. All of the techniques are looking in the

wrong direction. Maharaj used to say " Understanding

is ALL " . Basically, the teacher is just saying " Right

now in your direct experience SEE what your real nature

is. What are you right now? What have you always been? "

 

The mind is useless for this because seeing and looking is

not a conceptual function at all. It is more like seeing

an apple in your hand. You just look, not think.

 

Right now as you read this, you exist and you are

aware that you exist. You are aware. Before

the next thought arises, you are absolutely certain

of the fact of your own being, your own awareness,

your own presence. That awareness is what you

are, what you always have been. All thoughts,

perceptions, emotions, states, feelings, etc appear

within that, upon that. That awareness, which is what you

are, does not move, change, or shift at any time.

It is always free and completely untouched. However,

it is not a thing or an object that you can see or

grasp. The mind, being simply thoughts arising in

awareness cannot grasp it or know it or even think

about it. Yet, as Bob says, you cannot deny the fact

of your own being. It is palpably obvious, and yet

since the time we were born, no one has pointed this out --

until such time as we come across someone who has awakened

to this. Once it is pointed out, it can be grasped

or understood very quickly because it is just a matter

of noticing " Oh, that's what I am! " . It is a bright, luminous,

empty presence of awareness; absolutely radiant, yet

without form; seemingly intangible, but the most

solid factor in your existence. Effortlessly here right

now. Forever untouched. Without taking a step, you

have arrived, you are home.

 

No practice can reveal this because practices are

in time and in the mind. Practices aim at a result, but

you are there already, only you don't recognize it till

it is pointed out. Once seen, you can't lose it, and you

don't have to practice to exist, to be.

 

Once I saw this, I felt very clear and free immediately. Later, some

thoughts came up -- some old personality patterns, some

old definitions of who I thought myself to be. And I seemed

to lose the understanding. I talked to Bob about it and he

said " Let's have a look. Do you exist, are you aware, what

is illumining the thought that you have lost it? " Then I realized

that thoughts of suffering were only passing concepts being

illumined by the ever-present awareness. I hadn't lost any

thing at all. The awareness that we are is never obscured.

Suffering seems real because we don't have a clear understanding

of our true nature and we believe the passing thought " I am no

good, " " I am not there yet, " " I am stuck, " but then you

realize that you are not those thoughts. Once your real

self is pointed out the suffering loses its grip.

 

Bob pointed out that there is no person here at all. The person that

we think we are is an imaginary concept. Yes, there are thoughts

and feelings and perceptions, but that is not a problem. They just

rise and fall like dust motes in the light of the presence-awareness

that we are (remember, there is nothing to do or practice--we are

that, even now). The closest thing the mind can come to representing

who were are is the thought " I am " . But that thought is not

who we really are; whether that thought is there or not, we still exist.

We KNOW the thought " I am " . That thought is the start of

the (false) sense of an individual, a separate " I " . Because we don't know

any better, the mind attaches other labels to this " I thought " - I am

good, I am bad, I have this problem, etc. But those thoughts

don't have anything to do with us, because the very " I thought "

itself, the sense of separation, is not actually who we are. Once you

see the falseness of the " I thought, " that what we are is

not an individual " person " at all, the identifications and ideas

of a lifetime all collapse immediately because they are all based on a false

premise.

 

There is no practice to overcome suffering. Only SEEING

that the false I is an assumption, that the whole mechanism

is a conceptual house of cards, a lifetime of suffering evaporates

in an instant. As Bob says, without the cause (the " I " ), can there

be any effects (psychological suffering and bondage)?

 

As I sat on his couch at his talks listening to him say " There is

no person, " suddenly it hit me. I LOOKED and SAW -- right

now and here, there is not a separate person in the picture

at all. Suddenly, all doubts and confusion evaporated. I realized

that all doubts, problems, and questions stem from the sense

of an " I " which was assumed to be there at the center of my

life, but on actual looking was finally seen to be not there.

 

15 years of meditating could not accomplish what occurred in

a mere 15 seconds of actual looking. From that moment, I have

not felt any serious difficulty or suffering, nor felt the slightest

desire or urge to meditate. The whole landscape shifted and

I intuitively knew the seeking was over. The " I " on which

everything was based was not there. However, the shining presence

awareness was still there without effort, the simple fact of our

own being.

 

Finally, Bob pointed out that all things arise in awareness and never

exist apart from awareness. It is all one substance, all one light,

it is all THAT -- non-duality. Nowhere to go, nothing to obtain.

Everything is resolved. We " live, move, and have our being " in that

one ocean of light and never, ever move away from THAT.

 

This was the understanding that came to me, courtesy of Bob Adamson.

It is all words, but maybe a glimmer of something will come through.

 

If you get a chance to make a trip to visit Bob Adamson, it could

be worth the time and energy, particularly if you feel the need to meet

a living teacher in the Nisargadatta Maharaj line.

 

Bob has encouraged me to talk about this as the opportunity

arises, so if you get down to Santa Cruz, California, drop in and say

Hello.

 

John

http://www.employees.org/~johnwhee/

[Guest guest]

-

johnwh

Nisargadatta

Wednesday, February 25, 2004 7:24 PM

Experiences with Bob Adamson

 

 

 

 

As I sat on his couch at his talks listening to him say " There is

no person, " suddenly it hit me. I LOOKED and SAW -- right

now and here, there is not a separate person in the picture

at all. Suddenly, all doubts and confusion evaporated.

 

 

***********

Heh heh!

 

Judi

 

http://www.users.uniserve.com/~samuel/judi-1.htm

TheEndOfTheRopeRanch/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Great post, John. Sailor Bob Adamson, huh? Alright! He sure got a

shiney head. I bookmarked it & will look at it later. But it sounds

like you guys are saying the same thing Ramana & Beedie Baba been

saying. But, that's cool. What else is there to say?

 

Alright, then.

 

 

 

Nisargadatta , johnwh@c... wrote:

> I had been on the path since my teenage years, well over

> 30 years of seeking in various forms: Christianity, theosophy,

Krishnamurti

> (I went to his talks in Ojai in the 1980s), Buddhism, Hinduism,

yoga. In my

> mid 20s I was introduced to Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj

> (through books on their lives and teachings).

>

> Something about those teachers seemed solid and unshakeable and

> I found myself returning to their teachings over the years, even

though

> I can't say I fully (or even partially) understood or experienced

what

> they were talking about fully.

>

> Then I did the circuit of many of the contemporary teachers like

Isaac

> Shapiro, Neelam, Adyashanti, Francis Lucille, Eckart Tolle, > Parsons, etc. There was undoubtedly a benefit but I was not fully

satisfied

> for some reason. Either it was my confusion or something not fully

> clear in the teachings being presented . Most likely

> the former! Of the above, I most fully resonate now with Parsons,

> but he was not around much in California. I only met him once, so I

didn't have

> enough of a chance to experience him and his teaching in person.

Now I feel

> that

> had I had a chance to " hang out " with him more, that may well have

> been the end of the road. For some reason my destiny was to meet

> Bob Adamson, one of Nisargadatta Maharaj's Western students. For

more

> info on Bob, who is currently teaching in Melbourne, Australia,

> see his website:

>

> http://members.austarmetro.com.au/~adamson7/index.html

>

> What I have found is that there is only so much you can get from

books

> and meditating on your own. The growth is there, but it is often

slow

> and you are not getting much direct experience. I vaguely felt that

I was

> " progressing " but if I honestly looked at my experience, I did not

fully

> understand what the teachers were pointing to and my actual

experience

> was not free of suffering. I knew the seeking was not over;

something

> was missing. Had I not met Bob, the seeking may have gone on for

> decades, or at least until I met someone with a full understanding.

Who

> knows who that might have been or when, but, barring that, I am

pretty

> sure the seeking and suffering would have continued for a long time.

>

> I had met some Raman Maharshi followers who had been on the

> path of self-inquiry for 20 or 30 years. I was nowhere near their

> level of devotion, so it was pretty much out the picture that that

> approach would " work " for me, during this lifetime at least. As

> I look at this now, it is not so much Ramana's teaching that is

> faulty, but the mind's inevitable tendency to turn any teaching

> into a practice, and practices generally are interminable, as

> they are usually based on false premises.

>

> I am a firm believer that meeting someone with this understanding,

talking

> with them, and getting your doubts cleared in person is a key factor

> for things to open up. This was my experience anyway.

>

> I intuitively felt that it was important for me to meet someone

> in that state; someone I trusted and could talk to and share my

> doubts and concerns. Yet I was unsure about what teachers

> were " authentic " ; none seemed to resonate fully. I used to read

> Nisargadatta Maharaj a lot. I could not understand his teaching

> fully, given all the Hindu verbiage and translation issues, but I

> felt intuitively that he was a free being. Everyone can sense that,

> even if the words are not clear. I used to wonder if there was

> anyone alive who had studied with him and really got the experience

> of self-knowledge. I eventually stumbled across Bob Adamson

> after all those years of looking and something resonated strongly.

> Even when I read the content on his website, there was a strong

feeling

> of " maybe this it. "

>

> Actually, I had a very vivid dream of Maharaj, in which he was

> encouraging me not to give up the search or something like that,

then

> shortly afterwards, I heard about Bob Adamson.

>

> Not wanting to miss the chance (having not been able to see Maharaj

> while he was alive) I decided to visit Bob in person in Australia.

> You can imagine my desperation and/or motivation! Going to Australia

> on the chance that he might be able to clarify my doubts and

questions!

>

> What I find in reading and talking to others is that this

understanding

> almost never comes from reading or thinking about it. Books

> are usually just the recordings of actual dialogues that took place

> between a seeker and a teacher sometime in the past. The reader

> is trying to decipher the meaning through words and concepts

> on the page, of an event that took place in past. The books

> are like maps, pointing to something real that was being pointed

> to in a dialogue between living people. Usually, the reader

> does not have a clear understanding of what is being revealed

> (at least I didn't) and so you are trying to ' " figure it out " in

> the mind. A noble attempt, but as Bob points out within

> a few minutes of talking to him " the answer can never be

> found in the mind " . So, since the experience is not forthcoming,

> you naturally assume that you are not " there " and that there

> must be some technique or path, but somehow you

> are not quite sure what it is! And the mind keeps

> generating the same old bondage and suffering.

>

> A frustrating cycle, because you intuitively feel a glimmer

> of hope or light or truth in the readings but somehow it

> doesn't fully click. The vast majority of people that I have

> met have had this exact same experience. And they

> are inevitably driven to try to find a living teacher with

> whom they can talk and relate with face to face. At that point, you

move

> off the track of being a casual " arm chair " seeker and you

> become a participant in the dialogues, just like the ones you

> used to read about in books. You move into the realm of

> direct experience.

>

> I met many teachers, but it wasn't until I met Bob that I was

> convinced that I was dealing with someone fully living the

> experience. Something radically shifted for me because

> I was face to face with the vitality, the confidence, the energy

> of that understanding. The first day after I arrived he sat

> down and looked me in the eyes and said point blank

> " Do you have any doubts or questions. Is there anything

> you need to know? " It was kind of disarming because

> I realized he was free of doubts and was essentially

> offering me a chance to " get it " for myself RIGHT THEN

> AND THERE. Kind of like " The seeking is over, the reading

> is over, you are here, are you ready to go for this completely

> here and now? "

>

> Fortunately, I jumped at the chance and cast aside my theoretical

> knowledge and got down to getting off my chest my REAL

> doubts, questions, and problems.

>

> Surprisingly, things cleared up very quickly. Being face

> to face with that clarity -- coupled with my own desire

> to be free -- seemed to allow things to shift quickly. The basic

> teaching is very simple, almost too simple. So simple

> the mind overlooks it. What I didn't realize was

> that it has nothing to do with reading or meditating or

> doing anything, or working anything out or stilling the

> mind, etc. All of the techniques are looking in the

> wrong direction. Maharaj used to say " Understanding

> is ALL " . Basically, the teacher is just saying " Right

> now in your direct experience SEE what your real nature

> is. What are you right now? What have you always been? "

>

> The mind is useless for this because seeing and looking is

> not a conceptual function at all. It is more like seeing

> an apple in your hand. You just look, not think.

>

> Right now as you read this, you exist and you are

> aware that you exist. You are aware. Before

> the next thought arises, you are absolutely certain

> of the fact of your own being, your own awareness,

> your own presence. That awareness is what you

> are, what you always have been. All thoughts,

> perceptions, emotions, states, feelings, etc appear

> within that, upon that. That awareness, which is what you

> are, does not move, change, or shift at any time.

> It is always free and completely untouched. However,

> it is not a thing or an object that you can see or

> grasp. The mind, being simply thoughts arising in

> awareness cannot grasp it or know it or even think

> about it. Yet, as Bob says, you cannot deny the fact

> of your own being. It is palpably obvious, and yet

> since the time we were born, no one has pointed this out --

> until such time as we come across someone who has awakened

> to this. Once it is pointed out, it can be grasped

> or understood very quickly because it is just a matter

> of noticing " Oh, that's what I am! " . It is a bright, luminous,

> empty presence of awareness; absolutely radiant, yet

> without form; seemingly intangible, but the most

> solid factor in your existence. Effortlessly here right

> now. Forever untouched. Without taking a step, you

> have arrived, you are home.

>

> No practice can reveal this because practices are

> in time and in the mind. Practices aim at a result, but

> you are there already, only you don't recognize it till

> it is pointed out. Once seen, you can't lose it, and you

> don't have to practice to exist, to be.

>

> Once I saw this, I felt very clear and free immediately. Later, some

> thoughts came up -- some old personality patterns, some

> old definitions of who I thought myself to be. And I seemed

> to lose the understanding. I talked to Bob about it and he

> said " Let's have a look. Do you exist, are you aware, what

> is illumining the thought that you have lost it? " Then I realized

> that thoughts of suffering were only passing concepts being

> illumined by the ever-present awareness. I hadn't lost any

> thing at all. The awareness that we are is never obscured.

> Suffering seems real because we don't have a clear understanding

> of our true nature and we believe the passing thought " I am no

> good, " " I am not there yet, " " I am stuck, " but then you

> realize that you are not those thoughts. Once your real

> self is pointed out the suffering loses its grip.

>

> Bob pointed out that there is no person here at all. The person that

> we think we are is an imaginary concept. Yes, there are thoughts

> and feelings and perceptions, but that is not a problem. They just

> rise and fall like dust motes in the light of the presence-awareness

> that we are (remember, there is nothing to do or practice--we are

> that, even now). The closest thing the mind can come to representing

> who were are is the thought " I am " . But that thought is not

> who we really are; whether that thought is there or not, we still

exist.

> We KNOW the thought " I am " . That thought is the start of

> the (false) sense of an individual, a separate " I " . Because we

don't know

> any better, the mind attaches other labels to this " I thought " - I

am

> good, I am bad, I have this problem, etc. But those thoughts

> don't have anything to do with us, because the very " I thought "

> itself, the sense of separation, is not actually who we are. Once

you

> see the falseness of the " I thought, " that what we are is

> not an individual " person " at all, the identifications and ideas

> of a lifetime all collapse immediately because they are all based

on a false

> premise.

>

> There is no practice to overcome suffering. Only SEEING

> that the false I is an assumption, that the whole mechanism

> is a conceptual house of cards, a lifetime of suffering evaporates

> in an instant. As Bob says, without the cause (the " I " ), can there

> be any effects (psychological suffering and bondage)?

>

> As I sat on his couch at his talks listening to him say " There is

> no person, " suddenly it hit me. I LOOKED and SAW -- right

> now and here, there is not a separate person in the picture

> at all. Suddenly, all doubts and confusion evaporated. I realized

> that all doubts, problems, and questions stem from the sense

> of an " I " which was assumed to be there at the center of my

> life, but on actual looking was finally seen to be not there.

>

> 15 years of meditating could not accomplish what occurred in

> a mere 15 seconds of actual looking. From that moment, I have

> not felt any serious difficulty or suffering, nor felt the slightest

> desire or urge to meditate. The whole landscape shifted and

> I intuitively knew the seeking was over. The " I " on which

> everything was based was not there. However, the shining presence

> awareness was still there without effort, the simple fact of our

> own being.

>

> Finally, Bob pointed out that all things arise in awareness and

never

> exist apart from awareness. It is all one substance, all one light,

> it is all THAT -- non-duality. Nowhere to go, nothing to obtain.

> Everything is resolved. We " live, move, and have our being " in that

> one ocean of light and never, ever move away from THAT.

>

> This was the understanding that came to me, courtesy of Bob Adamson.

> It is all words, but maybe a glimmer of something will come through.

>

> If you get a chance to make a trip to visit Bob Adamson, it could

> be worth the time and energy, particularly if you feel the need to

meet

> a living teacher in the Nisargadatta Maharaj line.

>

> Bob has encouraged me to talk about this as the opportunity

> arises, so if you get down to Santa Cruz, California, drop in and

say

> Hello.

>

> John

> http://www.employees.org/~johnwhee/