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Hi:

 

Although I have been on the spiritual paths for a bunch of

decades, I am very new to Sri Nisargadatta. I started reading I Am

That several months ago, and at the same time I joined a discussion

group on the book at a local yoga institute here in NYC (only a few

miles from where the Republican National Convention is now taking

place). I am writing in the hope that someone can clarify the

question below.

 

Maharaj suggested meditating on the thought-feeling " I am, "

and it was never clear to me precisely what he meant by " I am. " One

problem at least for me is that the phrase " I am " is obviously an

English translation from Maruthi. Also, my feeling is that the

cultural and spiritual traditions in Bombay make a precise definition

and understanding of the term " I am " difficult. I am a mere mortal

and assume that my sense of " I am " is far different than what Maharaj

meant. I understand that we lose the sense of " I am " as soon as we

begin the process of false identification (I am a man or woman, old

or young, or I am the body, etc.). My instructor at the discussion

group was never able to give me a satisfactory answer to what Maharaj

meant by " I am " and, by extension, how to meditate (or focus during

daily activities) on " I am. "

 

It is easier for me to grasp, at least intellectually, the

meaning of the phrase " I Am That. " In this phrase, " That " means the

supreme reality, the big kahuna, God, cosmic consciousness,

etc. " That " is even better than eating the right proportion of carbs,

fats and proteins and being " In the Zone. "

 

Having said all of the above, I came across the following

passage on page 159 of I Am That: " When I say `I am,' I do not mean a

separate entity with a body as its nucleus. I mean the totality of

being, the ocean of consciousness, the entire universe of all that is

and knows. " (I know what you're thinking: that would make a great

pick-up line in a bar if someone asks you who you are.) To my way of

thinking, that statement seems to lead us full circle. When Maharaj

advises us to continually focus on the sense of " I am " this means " I

am not a separate body/mind, I am the ocean of consciousness. " In

other words, I Am That. So " I Am " equals " I Am That " ? When Maharaj

suggests that we continually focus (or meditate) on the sense of " I

am, " does that mean we should be focusing on ourselves as

the " supreme reality " (or whatever phrase you want to use).

 

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I am not

necessarily looking for very complex philosophical replies. Anything

that could fit into my forthcoming book, The Complete Idiot's Guide

to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, would suffice. Thanks, Phil

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Nisargadatta , " phil2bfree " <phil2bfree>

wrote:

> Hi:

>

> Although I have been on the spiritual paths for a bunch of

> decades, I am very new to Sri Nisargadatta. I started reading I Am

> That several months ago, and at the same time I joined a discussion

> group on the book at a local yoga institute here in NYC (only a few

> miles from where the Republican National Convention is now taking

> place). I am writing in the hope that someone can clarify the

> question below.

>

> Maharaj suggested meditating on the thought-feeling " I am, "

> and it was never clear to me precisely what he meant by " I am. " One

> problem at least for me is that the phrase " I am " is obviously an

> English translation from Maruthi. Also, my feeling is that the

> cultural and spiritual traditions in Bombay make a precise

definition

> and understanding of the term " I am " difficult. I am a mere mortal

> and assume that my sense of " I am " is far different than what

Maharaj

> meant. I understand that we lose the sense of " I am " as soon as we

> begin the process of false identification (I am a man or woman, old

> or young, or I am the body, etc.). My instructor at the discussion

> group was never able to give me a satisfactory answer to what

Maharaj

> meant by " I am " and, by extension, how to meditate (or focus during

> daily activities) on " I am. "

>

> It is easier for me to grasp, at least intellectually, the

> meaning of the phrase " I Am That. " In this phrase, " That " means the

> supreme reality, the big kahuna, God, cosmic consciousness,

> etc. " That " is even better than eating the right proportion of

carbs,

> fats and proteins and being " In the Zone. "

>

> Having said all of the above, I came across the following

> passage on page 159 of I Am That: " When I say `I am,' I do not mean

a

> separate entity with a body as its nucleus. I mean the totality of

> being, the ocean of consciousness, the entire universe of all that

is

> and knows. " (I know what you're thinking: that would make a great

> pick-up line in a bar if someone asks you who you are.) To my way

of

> thinking, that statement seems to lead us full circle. When Maharaj

> advises us to continually focus on the sense of " I am " this

means " I

> am not a separate body/mind, I am the ocean of consciousness. " In

> other words, I Am That. So " I Am " equals " I Am That " ? When Maharaj

> suggests that we continually focus (or meditate) on the sense of " I

> am, " does that mean we should be focusing on ourselves as

> the " supreme reality " (or whatever phrase you want to use).

>

> Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I am not

> necessarily looking for very complex philosophical replies.

Anything

> that could fit into my forthcoming book, The Complete Idiot's Guide

> to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, would suffice. Thanks, Phil

 

 

Look into the question: " I am what? " , and what do you see? I am a

body with a history, a name and as you say, a mere mortal. But what

is the one thinking himself or herself being mortal other than a

thought/feeling of being mortal? Is a thought/feeling mortal? Maybe

nothing ever goes away, but thoughts and feelings are sometimes at

least hidden or obscured, so as a thought/feeling " I am mortal " you

are mortal at least as in the illusion of forgetting. But are you a

thought/feeling? Are you a body? Do you know what a body is? A body

is a biological machine made of food. But this machine and the rest

of the material universe is the _same_ machine. You experience a

separation as a body, but there is no real separation between a human

body and for example a building. All forms of separation are joined

in awareness. Awareness is _aware_ of separaton. See? How can

something be aware of separation, without itself being no-

separartion? It can't! So the " I am " is awareness itself. Awareness

_is_ itself. Ask yourself: " What is aware? " If the answer is " I am

aware " , then you have failed to see that this is only a thought in

awareness. There is no 'I' in awareness. Awareness is aware of

the 'I' and the 'not I', but itself is neither the 'I' or the 'not

I', so I will recommend that instead of looking into the question " I

am " to instead look into the question " am " . :-) The impersonal pure

am-ness is awareness itself.

 

/AL

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Phil,

 

Interesting question. Although I'm not sure I can provide " the

definitive answer " I'll take a shot at this.

 

I would start with whatever the thought " I Am " brings up in you.

What is actually there in terms of experiencing at this moment?

Never mind whether it seems good, bad, pleasant, spiritual, or

whatever. Let it be as it is, while " you " look on.

 

Another thought that has been of great interest and utility to me

from N: He states a couple of times in IAT that we need to meditate

with the right mixture of attention and affection - and that we need

to find this for ourselves. As someone who has experimented with

the " attention " or " mindfulness " part for decades, the admonition to

add some affection to the mix was refreshing and helpful.

 

None of this involves self-flagellation -- N refers to roughhousing

yourself as " a grievous error. " So don't sweat too much

about " getting it right. " J. Krishnamurti (of whom N. speaks

approvingly) urged his listeners to " experiment " and to " play " with

it. Start now and any needed adjustments will occur on the way.

 

Sven

 

 

Nisargadatta , " phil2bfree " <phil2bfree>

wrote:

> Hi:

>

> Although I have been on the spiritual paths for a bunch of

> decades, I am very new to Sri Nisargadatta. I started reading I Am

> That several months ago, and at the same time I joined a

discussion

> group on the book at a local yoga institute here in NYC (only a

few

> miles from where the Republican National Convention is now taking

> place). I am writing in the hope that someone can clarify the

> question below.

>

> Maharaj suggested meditating on the thought-feeling " I am, "

> and it was never clear to me precisely what he meant by " I am. "

One

> problem at least for me is that the phrase " I am " is obviously an

> English translation from Maruthi. Also, my feeling is that the

> cultural and spiritual traditions in Bombay make a precise

definition

> and understanding of the term " I am " difficult. I am a mere mortal

> and assume that my sense of " I am " is far different than what

Maharaj

> meant. I understand that we lose the sense of " I am " as soon as we

> begin the process of false identification (I am a man or woman,

old

> or young, or I am the body, etc.). My instructor at the discussion

> group was never able to give me a satisfactory answer to what

Maharaj

> meant by " I am " and, by extension, how to meditate (or focus

during

> daily activities) on " I am. "

>

> It is easier for me to grasp, at least intellectually, the

> meaning of the phrase " I Am That. " In this phrase, " That " means

the

> supreme reality, the big kahuna, God, cosmic consciousness,

> etc. " That " is even better than eating the right proportion of

carbs,

> fats and proteins and being " In the Zone. "

>

> Having said all of the above, I came across the following

> passage on page 159 of I Am That: " When I say `I am,' I do not

mean a

> separate entity with a body as its nucleus. I mean the totality of

> being, the ocean of consciousness, the entire universe of all that

is

> and knows. " (I know what you're thinking: that would make a great

> pick-up line in a bar if someone asks you who you are.) To my way

of

> thinking, that statement seems to lead us full circle. When

Maharaj

> advises us to continually focus on the sense of " I am " this

means " I

> am not a separate body/mind, I am the ocean of consciousness. " In

> other words, I Am That. So " I Am " equals " I Am That " ? When Maharaj

> suggests that we continually focus (or meditate) on the sense

of " I

> am, " does that mean we should be focusing on ourselves as

> the " supreme reality " (or whatever phrase you want to use).

>

> Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I am not

> necessarily looking for very complex philosophical replies.

Anything

> that could fit into my forthcoming book, The Complete Idiot's

Guide

> to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, would suffice. Thanks, Phil

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Hi Phil,

 

 

 

 

-

" phil2bfree " <phil2bfree

<Nisargadatta >

Wednesday, September 01, 2004 3:10 PM

Nisargadatta 101

 

 

> Hi:

>

> Although I have been on the spiritual paths for a bunch of decades, I

am very new to Sri Nisargadatta. I started reading I Am

> That several months ago, and at the same time I joined a discussion group on

the book at a local yoga institute here in NYC (only a few

> miles from where the Republican National Convention is now taking place). I

am writing in the hope that someone can clarify the

> question below.

>

> Maharaj suggested meditating on the thought-feeling " I am, " and it was

never clear to me precisely what he meant by " I am. "

 

 

--------

 

When all the definitions of all held-identites is cast aside, denied, what is

left is the sense of beingness, pointed to, by the term " I AM " .

 

---

 

> One problem at least for me is that the phrase " I am " is obviously an

English translation from Maruthi. Also, my feeling is that the

> cultural and spiritual traditions in Bombay make a precise definition and

understanding of the term " I am " difficult.

 

>I am a mere mortal

 

 

-------

 

Interesting.

And what is the basis of that conclusion?

 

What is that identity that you hold on to, which is mortal?

 

-------------

 

 

 

 

> and assume that my sense of " I am " is far different than what Maharaj meant.

I understand that we lose the sense of " I am " as soon as we

> begin the process of false identification (I am a man or woman, old or young,

or I am the body, etc.). My instructor at the discussion

> group was never able to give me a satisfactory answer to what Maharaj meant by

" I am " and, by extension, how to meditate (or focus during

> daily activities) on " I am. "

 

--------

 

The attention to " I AM " is actually not a positive attention (for what the mind

conceives as the " I AM " is just another identity),.................but a

dis-engagement from what that " I AM " is supposed to be.

 

As soon as the mond supplies the answer, to Who am I,..........that answer, any

answer,........is disengaged, through a non-verbalised, non-articulated

questioning as to who believes that.

 

For example, the supposition that " I am a mere mortal " ,...........who is it,

that holds such an assumption?

 

In the droppinf of the answer as " mere mortal " ,....dropping any answer....is the

beingness of I AM.

 

 

(Which is also a durational state)

 

--------

 

 

 

 

 

 

>

> It is easier for me to grasp, at least intellectually, the

> meaning of the phrase " I Am That. " In this phrase, " That " means the

> supreme reality, the big kahuna, God, cosmic consciousness,

> etc. " That " is even better than eating the right proportion of carbs,

> fats and proteins and being " In the Zone. "

 

--------

 

" That " is when,................all conceptualizations of " that " has ceased.

 

Inclduing the conceptualization of a " that " .

 

 

--------

 

 

 

>

> Having said all of the above, I came across the following passage on

page 159 of I Am That: " When I say `I am,' I do not mean a

> separate entity with a body as its nucleus. I mean the totality of being, the

ocean of consciousness, the entire universe of all that is

> and knows. " (I know what you're thinking: that would make a great pick-up line

in a bar if someone asks you who you are.)

 

 

---------

 

:-)

 

 

If you are all that there is,.............who are you going to pick up?

 

-------

 

 

To my way of

> thinking, that statement seems to lead us full circle. When Maharaj advises

us to continually focus on the sense of " I am " this means " I

> am not a separate body/mind, I am the ocean of consciousness. "

 

---------

 

" Ocean of Consciousness " is another conceptualization which the mind latches

onto.

Drop it.

 

---------

 

 

 

> In

> other words, I Am That. So " I Am " equals " I Am That " ? When Maharaj suggests

that we continually focus (or meditate) on the sense of " I

> am, " does that mean we should be focusing on ourselves as the " supreme

reality " (or whatever phrase you want to use).

 

 

---------

 

 

See above

 

 

--------

 

 

 

>

> Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I am not necessarily

looking for very complex philosophical replies. Anything

> that could fit into my forthcoming book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sri

Nisargadatta Maharaj, would suffice. Thanks, Phil

 

 

 

 

LOL

 

 

Its a tale told by an idiot, full of sounjd and fury

 

Signifying nada.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dear Phil

 

to my knowledge the 'I AM' is non dual existence itself or pure

consciousness. i thinks its 'sat chit ananda' . it is the you behind

the you, the I-I. to meditate on this is watchfulness or awareness

watching awareness. before anything there is that consciousness

which is silent and still. i try to stick to that in meditation. as

the mind focuses on that it will try to figit, being relaxed draw it

back to the first 'person' the first 'place'. the bindu. my favorite

line from the ashtavakra gita, though i forgets its chapter and

verse, is " i accept nothing, i reject nothing. i am content "

i think the vedic statement of " i am THAT " is similar to the

meditation provided by Nisargadatta, but not exactly. it just leaves

out the 'THAT' because if you are that then there is no need to

meditate on two different things just the first part of 'I AM'

 

warmest regards,

tyrone

 

Nisargadatta , " phil2bfree " <phil2bfree>

wrote:

> Hi:

>

> Although I have been on the spiritual paths for a bunch of

> decades, I am very new to Sri Nisargadatta. I started reading I Am

> That several months ago, and at the same time I joined a

discussion

> group on the book at a local yoga institute here in NYC (only a

few

> miles from where the Republican National Convention is now taking

> place). I am writing in the hope that someone can clarify the

> question below.

>

> Maharaj suggested meditating on the thought-feeling " I am, "

> and it was never clear to me precisely what he meant by " I am. "

One

> problem at least for me is that the phrase " I am " is obviously an

> English translation from Maruthi. Also, my feeling is that the

> cultural and spiritual traditions in Bombay make a precise

definition

> and understanding of the term " I am " difficult. I am a mere mortal

> and assume that my sense of " I am " is far different than what

Maharaj

> meant. I understand that we lose the sense of " I am " as soon as we

> begin the process of false identification (I am a man or woman,

old

> or young, or I am the body, etc.). My instructor at the discussion

> group was never able to give me a satisfactory answer to what

Maharaj

> meant by " I am " and, by extension, how to meditate (or focus

during

> daily activities) on " I am. "

>

> It is easier for me to grasp, at least intellectually, the

> meaning of the phrase " I Am That. " In this phrase, " That " means

the

> supreme reality, the big kahuna, God, cosmic consciousness,

> etc. " That " is even better than eating the right proportion of

carbs,

> fats and proteins and being " In the Zone. "

>

> Having said all of the above, I came across the following

> passage on page 159 of I Am That: " When I say `I am,' I do not

mean a

> separate entity with a body as its nucleus. I mean the totality of

> being, the ocean of consciousness, the entire universe of all that

is

> and knows. " (I know what you're thinking: that would make a great

> pick-up line in a bar if someone asks you who you are.) To my way

of

> thinking, that statement seems to lead us full circle. When

Maharaj

> advises us to continually focus on the sense of " I am " this

means " I

> am not a separate body/mind, I am the ocean of consciousness. " In

> other words, I Am That. So " I Am " equals " I Am That " ? When Maharaj

> suggests that we continually focus (or meditate) on the sense

of " I

> am, " does that mean we should be focusing on ourselves as

> the " supreme reality " (or whatever phrase you want to use).

>

> Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I am not

> necessarily looking for very complex philosophical replies.

Anything

> that could fit into my forthcoming book, The Complete Idiot's

Guide

> to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, would suffice. Thanks, Phil

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I had been familiar with *I Am That* for over a decade,

and felt I understood what he was talking about. But then,

at a VERY CRUCIAL point for me, I came to ask myself,

" What does he *really* mean by 'I Am'? " . And in meditation

I enquired... not as an intellectual exercise, but in *deep

ernest*. As I did so I came to witness a series of pulses

emanating as if in a stream. I realized that each pulse

could potentially become a complex " issue " or scenario

of experience. They were seeds. Then it occured to me

to shift my (inner) vision to the right, and there I witnessed

again a series of pulses, but this time they were " cooler " ,

and had a sense of a blue cast. I realized that these were

also a series of seeds, and each one, if *chosen*, could

become a complex thought scenario. Then I shifted my

attention back to the left. Again I witnessed the series

of emanating seeds as before. It was clear that these

seeds (on the left) were " warmer " and emotive. Then I

shifted my attention to the right again, and again witnessed

the series of cooler seeds, seeds of thought. And then,

again, I shifted my attention to the left, and again witnessed

the " warmer " seeds emanating in a pulsing stream. At

that point something remarkable occurred to me: " Who

is looking from left to right, to left...? " And then, in a

startling recognition, something pure and independent,

something that had *no* investment, something that I

hazard not to name...and I got up and moved into a

very changed life.

 

In that moment I found Freedom.

 

Bill

 

 

 

-

phil2bfree

Nisargadatta

Wednesday, September 01, 2004 2:40 AM

Nisargadatta 101

 

 

Hi:

 

Although I have been on the spiritual paths for a bunch of

decades, I am very new to Sri Nisargadatta. I started reading I Am

That several months ago, and at the same time I joined a discussion

group on the book at a local yoga institute here in NYC (only a few

miles from where the Republican National Convention is now taking

place). I am writing in the hope that someone can clarify the

question below.

 

Maharaj suggested meditating on the thought-feeling " I am, "

and it was never clear to me precisely what he meant by " I am. " One

problem at least for me is that the phrase " I am " is obviously an

English translation from Maruthi. Also, my feeling is that the

cultural and spiritual traditions in Bombay make a precise definition

and understanding of the term " I am " difficult. I am a mere mortal

and assume that my sense of " I am " is far different than what Maharaj

meant. I understand that we lose the sense of " I am " as soon as we

begin the process of false identification (I am a man or woman, old

or young, or I am the body, etc.). My instructor at the discussion

group was never able to give me a satisfactory answer to what Maharaj

meant by " I am " and, by extension, how to meditate (or focus during

daily activities) on " I am. "

 

It is easier for me to grasp, at least intellectually, the

meaning of the phrase " I Am That. " In this phrase, " That " means the

supreme reality, the big kahuna, God, cosmic consciousness,

etc. " That " is even better than eating the right proportion of carbs,

fats and proteins and being " In the Zone. "

 

Having said all of the above, I came across the following

passage on page 159 of I Am That: " When I say `I am,' I do not mean a

separate entity with a body as its nucleus. I mean the totality of

being, the ocean of consciousness, the entire universe of all that is

and knows. " (I know what you're thinking: that would make a great

pick-up line in a bar if someone asks you who you are.) To my way of

thinking, that statement seems to lead us full circle. When Maharaj

advises us to continually focus on the sense of " I am " this means " I

am not a separate body/mind, I am the ocean of consciousness. " In

other words, I Am That. So " I Am " equals " I Am That " ? When Maharaj

suggests that we continually focus (or meditate) on the sense of " I

am, " does that mean we should be focusing on ourselves as

the " supreme reality " (or whatever phrase you want to use).

 

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I am not

necessarily looking for very complex philosophical replies. Anything

that could fit into my forthcoming book, The Complete Idiot's Guide

to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, would suffice. Thanks, Phil

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dear Phil,

 

you are asking about the thought " I am " and what it means to stay with

it. I think the answer to your question is very simple, there is no

problem with translation from Marathi or some complex deep meaning

which you have to get at first. So I will try to convey to you some of

my experience.

 

When you are in deep sleep there is no thought. When you wake up, what

is your first thought? Every morning you have to confirm again that

you exist as an " I " . And you confirm where this " I " is located in time

and space. This is like a habit, it reassures us that we can make it

through the day, somehow. It is like the initial check up your

computer makes when it is booted. With this basic thought you are

confirming that you exist. It is the basic condition for what you call

" your life " .

 

So: why should we practise to " stay " with this thought when it is

anyway coming like an old habit and is even representing the

identification that you are maybe unhappy with? I will try to give you

an answer from my point of view, but then you also just have to trust

a master like Nisargadatta and his good advice and intention.

 

We are living with the sense " I am " day in, day out. But our

continously wandering mind forgets to remember this thought as soon it

is cought by something else. The mind is really crazy. You will

realize this very soon if you try to stay with the basic thought " I

am " . You will be surprised, your wife tells you " coffee is ready " and

you forgot it already. This is crazy. Your mind brings something up

like " maybe that I stay with I am is meant to be something else " and -

buff - you forgot to stay with it. To stay with it means to stay

aware. Take a walk down the block, at the first corner you catch up

with the awareness of " I am " . How many blocks can you wark without

losing this awareness? Maybe not even a block, maybe just from one

streetlight to the next. In normal life we use to stay aware on one

basic thought only for seconds. Awareness is light, it will shed light

on those concepts of your mind that are keeping you from your natural

state. Those concepts can only survive in darkness. They will try to

hide and send you thoughts like " this I am thing is crazy, I better

stop it " or " I have to do something else now " . But staying with this

basic thought " I am " (which is anyway there, you do not need to create

or interprete it) is shedding light, giving you tremendous awareness.

You become like a cat that is just wathing at the mousehole, ready to

jump at any moment but still utterly relaxed and centered in

awareness.

 

Just check this in the morning when you wake up: your first thought,

it is almost no thought, more like a feeling " I am " .

 

And when you really stay with " I am " you have to be prepared, that the

" I " will disappear. You should think about if you really want this...

 

All the best and good luck on your journey

and feel free to ask or criticize or whatever

Stefan

 

Nisargadatta:

" Go deep into the sense of 'I am' and you will find.

How do you find a thing you have mislaid or forgotton?

You keep it in your mind until you recall it.

The sense of being, of 'I am' is the first to emerge.

 

Ask yourself whence it comes, or just watch it quietly.

When the mind stays in the 'I am', without moving,

you enter a state that cannot be verbalized but can be experienced.

All you need to do is to try and try again. "

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" And then, in a

> startling recognition, something pure and independent,

> something that had *no* investment, something that I

> hazard not to name...and I got up and moved into a

> very changed life.

>

> In that moment I found Freedom.

>

> Bill

>

 

What Freedom Can an 'I' find?

 

As long as there is a sense of 'I' to evaluate

something found, could that freedom be more than

comparing two states?

 

Does the mind, when comparing two states creates

a third state?

 

So what had " *no* investment " , was that doing the

comparing? Was not that only a memory being compared

to another memory, when the comparing was going on?

 

Pete

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" And then, in a

> startling recognition, something pure and independent,

> something that had *no* investment, something that I

> hazard not to name...and I got up and moved into a

> very changed life.

>

> In that moment I found Freedom.

>

> Bill

>

 

What Freedom Can an 'I' find?

 

As long as there is a sense of 'I' to evaluate

something found, could that freedom be more than

comparing two states?

>>>>>>>>>>>

You are picking at words. Using the word " I "

in the sentence does not entail a " sense of 'I' " .

There is so such thing as a " sense of 'I' " as

far a *I* am concerned. That last statement is

not a contradiction in terms.

 

<<<<<<<<<<<

Does the mind, when comparing two states creates

a third state?

>>>>>>>>>>

Freedom as I spoke of it is not a " state " .

 

<<<<<<<<<<

So what had " *no* investment " , was that doing the

comparing? Was not that only a memory being compared

to another memory, when the comparing was going on?

 

Pete

>>>>>>>>>>

As I indicated I can not put into words what it

was that I noted with a startling recognition.

And it is not something that I think about. It is

not even important, as far as I am concerned. An

indirect way of putting it is that I saw that the

" streams of pulses/seeds " were not me and something

shifted. I noted afterward that I no longer felt

any sense of obligation or investment... that a

concern about " what I do " was now mysteriously

absent. I referred to that as Freedom.

 

There have been a few more (perhaps lesser) " shifts "

since the time of the account I gave in the previous

post. I find all of it baffling to talk about because

what seems to be happening is a progressive elimination

of subjective experience. How can I talk about an

experience of a lessening of subjective experience?

I do note that there is not really a sense of my " state " ,

of " how I am " ... and I realize that such has not always

been the case.

 

I laugh when people try to catch me on " logical flaws "

in what I say (such as when you said, " What Freedom Can

an 'I' find? " ), since what I say is not derived from or

produced via logic. I don't worry about using words

like " I " and " me " ... I know they don't refer to any

entity. I say what I say, letting the words come as

they will. I don't know where the words come from.

Indeed, why even consider that they come *from*

someplace? The words happen, and that is enough for

" me " :)

 

I would not speak of myself as " having found Freedom "

now, though back at the time I described that was an

important description for me. I don't feel motivated

to make any such statement anymore.

 

What is the case for me now I simply cannot describe,

but I *can* say many things that are *not* the case,

including any sense of what I am, who I am, or how I

am, and any " sense of an 'I' " .

 

Bill

 

 

 

 

 

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Nisargadatta , " Bill Rishel " <plexus@a...>

wrote:

> " And then, in a

> > startling recognition, something pure and independent,

> > something that had *no* investment, something that I

> > hazard not to name...and I got up and moved into a

> > very changed life.

> >

> > In that moment I found Freedom.

> >

> > Bill

> >

>

> What Freedom Can an 'I' find?

>

> As long as there is a sense of 'I' to evaluate

> something found, could that freedom be more than

> comparing two states?

> >>>>>>>>>>>

> You are picking at words. Using the word " I "

> in the sentence does not entail a " sense of 'I' " .

> There is so such thing as a " sense of 'I' " as

> far a *I* am concerned. That last statement is

> not a contradiction in terms.

>

> <<<<<<<<<<<

> Does the mind, when comparing two states creates

> a third state?

> >>>>>>>>>>

> Freedom as I spoke of it is not a " state " .

>

> <<<<<<<<<<

> So what had " *no* investment " , was that doing the

> comparing? Was not that only a memory being compared

> to another memory, when the comparing was going on?

>

> Pete

> >>>>>>>>>>

> As I indicated I can not put into words what it

> was that I noted with a startling recognition.

> And it is not something that I think about. It is

> not even important, as far as I am concerned. An

> indirect way of putting it is that I saw that the

> " streams of pulses/seeds " were not me and something

> shifted. I noted afterward that I no longer felt

> any sense of obligation or investment... that a

> concern about " what I do " was now mysteriously

> absent. I referred to that as Freedom.

>

> There have been a few more (perhaps lesser) " shifts "

> since the time of the account I gave in the previous

> post. I find all of it baffling to talk about because

> what seems to be happening is a progressive elimination

> of subjective experience. How can I talk about an

> experience of a lessening of subjective experience?

> I do note that there is not really a sense of my " state " ,

> of " how I am " ... and I realize that such has not always

> been the case.

>

> I laugh when people try to catch me on " logical flaws "

> in what I say (such as when you said, " What Freedom Can

> an 'I' find? " ), since what I say is not derived from or

> produced via logic. I don't worry about using words

> like " I " and " me " ... I know they don't refer to any

> entity. I say what I say, letting the words come as

> they will. I don't know where the words come from.

> Indeed, why even consider that they come *from*

> someplace? The words happen, and that is enough for

> " me " :)

>

> I would not speak of myself as " having found Freedom "

> now, though back at the time I described that was an

> important description for me. I don't feel motivated

> to make any such statement anymore.

>

> What is the case for me now I simply cannot describe,

> but I *can* say many things that are *not* the case,

> including any sense of what I am, who I am, or how I

> am, and any " sense of an 'I' " .

>

> Bill

 

Good! This seems clearer. So 'that something..'could

at times present itself as pure sensation, pure in the sense

of being free of thought, or a sense of a perceiver. What is

there, is there in its sensated wholeness. As if the body

had adquired an extra sense by which to feel what was seen before

as the world. And what was before the outside, is now as intimate

as the subjective was before. No objective, no subjective, only

this. The me/memories come and go on this, but are no longer an

'I' in need of protection. Solidity and voidness interchange places

like the two views of an optical illusion that has been cracked. The

endless subject is the infinite object, and yet neither. That sort

of thing? :)

 

 

>

>

>

>

>

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Pete:

<<<<<<<

Good! This seems clearer. So 'that something..'could

at times present itself as pure sensation, pure in the sense

of being free of thought, or a sense of a perceiver.

>>>>>>>>

By " that something... " I assume you are referring to where

I wrote "

> " And then, in a

> > startling recognition, something pure and independent,

> > something that had *no* investment, something that I

> > hazard not to name...and I got up and moved into a

> > very changed life.

 

My account is admittedly rather confusing (though not a lot I

can do about that). The " something " I refer to there is something

that I " apprehended " at that particular time and which I haven't really

thought about since, except the couple of occasions such as this

when I have described that experience. I did sense " something "

but it was so *rarified*... and I feel some kind of inhibition

at even trying to describe. And I know if I *did* try to describe

it would be generally misinterpreted. Anyway, whatever that " something "

was, I don't dwell on it. It is not important it seems. What *was*

important for me -- it seems -- is that I somehow saw in a very

clear way that neither my feelings or my thoughts were " me " nor

were they in a sense even *OF* me (not that there is a " me " mind

you... words are such a tangle!).

 

I realized that I *really didn't know* what Niz meant by " I Am " ,

even though I had considered all along that I did. And I went from

realizing that I didn't know what he meant to deeply inquiring in

what the " I am " really is/really means. And somehow through that

inquiry I came out not identified with (it would seem) *beingness*.

The very appearance of subjective sensation no longer had the hold

on me it formerly did.

 

This is a point I have tried very hard to get across on some of the

non-dual lists in some of my posts in recent months past. But very few

seemed to get what I was trying to say. It seems to me that the big

illusion that isn't really talked much about but which is the real

" gotcha " for most of us is the illusion of having subjective

experience. We can get into a philisophical fantasy of how the

mountains and trees etc etc aren't *really* real, but our own feelings

and thoughts, those seem *certainly* real because by the very evidence

of our direct sense of them. Even if we consider that thoughts and

feelings are misleading and not to be trusted, many of us will believe

that they are real, that they exist, etc. This is a difficult topic,

but I believe it can be addressed rigorously. But either the other

party already " gets it " (very very few IMO), or the other party doesn't

get it and is in no mood for a rigorous investigation. And I have

lost the felt need to convey about it anyway.

 

Pete:

<<<<<

What is there, is there in its sensated wholeness. As if the body had

adquired an extra sense by which to feel what was seen before as the

world. And what was before the outside, is now as intimate as the

subjective was before. No objective, no subjective, only this. The

me/memories come and go on this, but are no longer an 'I' in need of

protection. Solidity and voidness interchange places like the two views

of an optical illusion that has been cracked. The endless subject is

the infinite object, and yet neither. That sort of thing? :)

>>>>>

Yep.

What a wierd sensation to read what you wrote above.

The way you put " sense " into it...

I don't know if I would want to do that... but am unsure.

Yes, it is all one ball of wax...

But I can't apprehend " What Is " as such.

Sometimes/often/most always(/maybe always?) it seems as

if there is a kind of " void numbness " (and I *really* hesitate

to put those words to it)... it is just *so wierd*... it is

vivid, it is clear, yet there is no HANDLE anywhere. It is as

if my ability to appercieve had been surgically removed. It is

as if the whole world (including my own subjectivity) were like

the blind spot of the eye. Or again, as if What Is were a

" null pointer " and that all I sense there is a vague, broadly

spread kind of numbness.

 

So yes, as you say, in that subjective/objective are inseparable...

but the " whole " that supposedly represents " all of it " now...

that whole I cannot " sense " per se. But really that makes sense,

for any " I " can only be that " whole " , and that whole cannot sense

itself. In that regard the blind spot of the eye is a perfect

analogy.

 

Bill

 

PS: Talking about this seems to be therapeutic for me. I have

been not-at-all-understood by many when I have attempted to

speak about the above. I found solace in a quote from the

Ashtavakra Gita that someone shared with me yesterday:

 

I think of things without thinking.

 

All my impressions of the world

Have dissolved.

 

And only those like me

Understand my ways.

 

 

Who understands " thinking of things without thinking " ?

 

Who understands " All my impressions of the world have dissolved. " ?

 

The above lines are the parts of the chapter I

especially relate to. To see the whole chapter (The Fool)

see:

http://www.swcp.com/~robicks/gita14.htm

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nisargadatta , " Bill Rishel " <plexus@a...>

wrote:

> " And then, in a

> > startling recognition, something pure and independent,

> > something that had *no* investment, something that I

> > hazard not to name...and I got up and moved into a

> > very changed life.

> >

> > In that moment I found Freedom.

> >

> > Bill

> >

>

> What Freedom Can an 'I' find?

>

> As long as there is a sense of 'I' to evaluate

> something found, could that freedom be more than

> comparing two states?

> >>>>>>>>>>>

> You are picking at words. Using the word " I "

> in the sentence does not entail a " sense of 'I' " .

> There is so such thing as a " sense of 'I' " as

> far a *I* am concerned. That last statement is

> not a contradiction in terms.

>

> <<<<<<<<<<<

> Does the mind, when comparing two states creates

> a third state?

> >>>>>>>>>>

> Freedom as I spoke of it is not a " state " .

>

> <<<<<<<<<<

> So what had " *no* investment " , was that doing the

> comparing? Was not that only a memory being compared

> to another memory, when the comparing was going on?

>

> Pete

> >>>>>>>>>>

> As I indicated I can not put into words what it

> was that I noted with a startling recognition.

> And it is not something that I think about. It is

> not even important, as far as I am concerned. An

> indirect way of putting it is that I saw that the

> " streams of pulses/seeds " were not me and something

> shifted. I noted afterward that I no longer felt

> any sense of obligation or investment... that a

> concern about " what I do " was now mysteriously

> absent. I referred to that as Freedom.

>

> There have been a few more (perhaps lesser) " shifts "

> since the time of the account I gave in the previous

> post. I find all of it baffling to talk about because

> what seems to be happening is a progressive elimination

> of subjective experience. How can I talk about an

> experience of a lessening of subjective experience?

> I do note that there is not really a sense of my " state " ,

> of " how I am " ... and I realize that such has not always

> been the case.

>

> I laugh when people try to catch me on " logical flaws "

> in what I say (such as when you said, " What Freedom Can

> an 'I' find? " ), since what I say is not derived from or

> produced via logic. I don't worry about using words

> like " I " and " me " ... I know they don't refer to any

> entity. I say what I say, letting the words come as

> they will. I don't know where the words come from.

> Indeed, why even consider that they come *from*

> someplace? The words happen, and that is enough for

> " me " :)

>

> I would not speak of myself as " having found Freedom "

> now, though back at the time I described that was an

> important description for me. I don't feel motivated

> to make any such statement anymore.

>

> What is the case for me now I simply cannot describe,

> but I *can* say many things that are *not* the case,

> including any sense of what I am, who I am, or how I

> am, and any " sense of an 'I' " .

>

> Bill

 

Good! This seems clearer. So 'that something..'could

at times present itself as pure sensation, pure in the sense

of being free of thought, or a sense of a perceiver. What is

there, is there in its sensated wholeness. As if the body

had adquired an extra sense by which to feel what was seen before

as the world. And what was before the outside, is now as intimate

as the subjective was before. No objective, no subjective, only

this. The me/memories come and go on this, but are no longer an

'I' in need of protection. Solidity and voidness interchange places

like the two views of an optical illusion that has been cracked. The

endless subject is the infinite object, and yet neither. That sort

of thing? :)

 

 

 

 

 

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Tyrone:

my favorite

line from the ashtavakra gita, though i forgets its chapter and

verse, is " i accept nothing, i reject nothing. i am content "

>>>>

What a great quote...

 

I found the reference here:

http://www.swcp.com/~robicks/gita13.htm

 

Byrom (trans.) has it as:

 

I accept nothing.

I reject nothing.

 

And I am happy.

 

Bill

 

 

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Nisargadatta , " Bill Rishel " <plexus@a...>

wrote:

 

> What Freedom Can an 'I' find?

>

> As long as there is a sense of 'I' to evaluate

> something found, could that freedom be more than

> comparing two states?

> >>>>>>>>>>>

> You are picking at words.

 

I must say in defense for Pete that IMO he is not picking words at

all, he just showed that his mind is sharpened like a sword should be

that is meant to cut the ropes of duality. You should not be affected

by this statement either, no need :-))

 

Greetings

Stefan

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