Asking for help.

October 14, 2004

Hello friends,

I'm posting here because I beieve there are (or at least were) a few

truly awakened people participating here. I've run into some

difficulties on my path and need the advice of someone with

experience.

I've been having intermittent debilatating-type health issues the

last 12 months. Lately I've suspected food allergies. I'm now pretty

convinced I've got a brain/mind issue. I fear that I am a victim of

my mind. This mind when I was younger I was so fiercly proud of I

think is the source of my problems. I've been working as a software

engineer for over 20 years and I think that's helped take the toll.

Anyway, on awakening this morning (as has been the case before) I

feel great the instant of awakening. In the seconds and minutes that

follow, as the mental chatter restarts itself the pains in my side

return, the pain in my neck and back return and the anxiety returns.

With the return of the ego brings the return of the problems. I've

read about this in Michael Talbot's " The Holographic Universe " . He

mentions that in people with multiple personality disorder their

brain waves, allergies and such will change upon a personality

switch (this is a great book if you've never read it). I'm thinking

all my issues are tied to my ego. My ultimate solution, of course,

to break the exclusive identification with the ego.

For my immediate solution I need help. In that sequence upon

awakening I noticed a subtle tension appear in my solar-plexus area.

It seems to be there throughout the day. I beieve at times I feed it

but all the time I'm awake (from my experience today) it is there.

Does this ring a bell for anyone? And/Or know how to deal with this

tension? I feel this tension is destructive and might be the source

of my physical problems.

Shawn

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