Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so " profound " that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting " Oh my God. " THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A Meet the all-new My - Try it today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 Hell is Iraq with George Bush as the President --- Dave Sirjue <davesirjue wrote: > > The following is supposedly an actual question given > on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. > The > answer by one student was so " profound " that the > professor shared it with colleagues, via the > Internet, > which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of > enjoying it as well. > > Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) > or > endothermic (absorbs heat)? > > Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs > using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and > heats > when it is compressed) or some variant. > > One student, however, wrote the following: First, we > need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in > time. > So we need to know the rate at which souls are > moving > into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I > think that we can safely assume that once a soul > gets > to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are > leaving. > > As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look > at > the different Religions that exist in the world > today. > Most of these religions state that if you are not a > member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since > there is more than one of these religions and since > people do not belong to more than one religion, we > can > project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and > death rates as they are, we can expect the number of > souls in Hell to increase exponentially. > > Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in > Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for > the > temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, > the > volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as > souls > are added. > > This gives two possibilities: > If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate > at > which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and > pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks > loose. > If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the > increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and > pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. > So which is it? > If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa > during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day > in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into > account > the fact that I slept with her last night, then > number > 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is > exothermic and has already frozen over. > > The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has > frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any > more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only > Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine > being > which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting > " Oh my God. " > > THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A > > > > > > > Meet the all-new My - Try it today! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 Nisargadatta , Gautam Mudbhatkal <gautam58> wrote: > Hell is Iraq with George Bush as the President Don't worry, when there is no more oil in Iraq he will move on. Just kidding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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