Message from Wayne

[Guest guest]

This is strange but I was thinking earlier on how my father died 22

years ago, the fragility of life, how vulnerable we are. It was

strange because all these years the thoughts of my father's flesh,

his features, slowly decaying, in lifeless corpse being reduced to a

skeleton, in graphic terms, never crossed my mind. He was like a rock

figure in my life...not a straw to be blown in wind like that. The

idea was unsettling and at the same time, it reminded me how he

passed his genes to his grandchildren some of whom remind me of him.

Soon after these thoughts I checked my email and saw this email from

Wayne:

 

MESSAGE FROM WAYNE

****************************

 

Hello my loves,

 

 

My Dad died last week. It was an extraordinary experience. On

Wednesday, March 9 he received the diagnosis of advanced incurable

cancer and he

made the decision to stop his dialysis treatments and thus spare his

family and himself the agony of a painful and prolonged death. I

visited

him in his home several hours after he had made that decision and

what

I saw in him was the blessing of total acceptance. He was at peace,

without fear or regret. In all my years with him I had never seen him

this

way before. He had always been in a competition with life, trying to

master it and keep it well arranged. As with all of us, sometimes

things

went his way, sometimes they didn't.

 

The hospice people came and made all the practical arrangements for

things like drugs and a hospital bed. Friends and family members came

to

say good-bye. Many congratulated my Dad on his courage and fortitude.

He

smiled back at them benignly, saying softly it was simply a blessing.

Many were the protestations that he was being too modest, that he had

earned this reward just as he had earned and thus deserved the love

of

his family. He never argued (totally uncharacteristic of him!) but he

never wavered. He knew at the root of his being that it was all

Grace...every bit of it.

 

He lived for four more days and in those four days we shared the most

wonderful of unspoken understandings. Unspoken because there was no

need

to speak it, just as there were no words adequate to convey it. I

looked into my Father's eyes and rejoiced in the profound Absence I

found

there. I could not wish for any better end to the life of this man I

loved. I was glad for him and glad for me.

 

Life can be so incredibly sweet...........and so can death.

 

With much love,

Wayne

 

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