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Drop your mind - love/hate -- the dual duel

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Nisargadatta , " Stefan " <s.petersilge@c...>

wrote:

>

> Nisargadatta , " sam_t_7 " <sam_t_7>

wrote:

>

> >sam: Remove love and hate and there is No Thing -- empty.

Then

> >evolves a little bit of wonder and throw emotions into the mix

and

> >one experiences that wonder as love, pounding like a drum. As all

> >duals have a duel/opposite so love has hate. When one can see

the

> >hate as even love then it all becomes love and folds back into

> >wonder, which folds back into empty No Thing.

>

stefan > Hi Sam. Thanks for your explanation. It is good to hear

someone share

> his stories... openly... simple... as you do. You are right, love

is

> an emotion. That's why I have added the blonde lady to the mix (in

> another posting). I wanted to put love down from the throne of an

> ideal theoretical concept. In reality, everybody knows love. There

is

> no need to define it. Even the smallest child already knows love.

Love

> is live, overcoming separateness.

 

 

Sam: thanks for your words. Just to clear something up, I'm a

woman. Sam is short for Samantha. Up front and to the point – no

beating around the bush as they say- is the communication I prefer

as well. I don't have the interest in mincing words.

 

 

sam> >This dual planet makes it very difficult to remain in the

*flow

> >state* (for lack of better words) or *you* would disappear --

there

> >would be No Thing to flow *with*.

>

stef> And, if you disappear... what then? Do you mean that in this

case you

> cannot enjoy the " flow state " ? But is not the flow-state anyway

> happening without you? When you were in the flow-state... where

were

> you then? Have you been there? Or maybe... was there only the

> flow-state and then you remembered the " you " and...

 

sam: My experience has been that there is much of nothing, then a

wonder-sense which I call a flow state (for lack of better words)

I'm acutely aware of a pulling nature which pulls and brings

about this sensation of a separateness. Now I know these words

will open up a barrage of misunderstandings in anyone reading, and

I'm not good with words. I believe this is why Nis and others

like Milarepa, etc. back off from humanity - it pulls. What would

happen if I give into the pulling? The dual nature sets in as is

what is happening with humanity to a large degree. Yes it's all

one and it's never really separated at all although beyond this I

really can't find words. I toy with the idea of backing away from

the dual-ish nature more (my overloaded environment) and not

engaging with it much becuz of this pulling which I have no

interest in being pulled into becuz I know what happens - the old

saying – been there done that applies here.

 

What would happen if I disappeared? What then? I wouldn't any

longer have this body in this particular way/form and the nature of

what I'm about here would not be represented in the same way. It's

not that I can't enjoy the flow state in this body/dualistic-esque

environment, it just means that the pull is there for me and it's a

much different angle. (I can't describe it) It's all flow state

for sure, [illusion for sure, dualistic imagings for sure]

 

 

>

> >sam : A little dual is necessary here or anywhere in the universe

of

> >dreamland for that matter. It so happens that this blue planet

> >straddles more into the hate zone than the love zone duality.

> >It becomes too easy to move predominantly into the dual aspect of

> >hate rather than love. I can't stay in a non-dual flow stage for

> >very long or *I*, body and all will quickly disappear.

 

 

>Stef: Do they need the " I " to function, is that your belief? Are

you sure?

>

 

Sam: My experience is that `i' needs the `i' state/body in order

to materialize. That involves the sense of duality as we define it

and imagine/believe it. Otherwise the body wouldn't exist/function

in this way becuz of it's natural illusory state. The point is not

the illusory state but is rather more about what i'm " about " in

this body. Sure it's all a dream yet we're all participating in it

irregardless of that.

Am I sure? Ha! <snort, chuckle> as sure as I can be in this

moment. <chuckle> Since that's always changing who knows.

 

 

:> > Sam To stay in the dual state and straddle between hate and

love is a

> >very difficult thing for people.

>

>stefan: Why is it difficult. Is it not happening by itself without

anything

> that needs to be done...

 

 

sam: sure it's all happening by itself without anything that needs

to be done. The dualish state is also happening with a great deal

of effort. It takes less effort to settle in what we are by

nature - non-dual, yet in case you haven't noticed looking

outside your window it is a world that is in a dual perception.

The `One' state is happening without anything that needs to be

done, yet the dual state needs " doing " in order to perceive itself

as separate. This is where the opposites come in to help that

happen. Living in the world and being pulled by a very high

maintenance marital partner shows me that this " pulling " and

allowance of that brings my `experience " /life as i know it into

the dual perception. Sure it's one and non-dual and if you

can manage to stay in that while working in a highly dual

environment then you are a great guru. Balsekar couldn't. osho

couldn't. yogananda was swayed, Sai Baba – well, god only knows

what he's up to. Nis, Ramana Maharshi and many others simply

refused to interact in the dual world/people to a large degree and

hardly engaged with them in words. This is why removing me

from the intense duality types and environment around me is

something I'm pondering on right now. Now, if I was a musician,

playing by night and lying on a beach by day maybe I wouldn't

have to be in the dualistic environment to the extent I am presently

in. Sounds like you have simplified your life to what you love.

I have a man who talks, talks, talks and loves money,

materialism, better cars, shopping and demands a high amount of

attention, in other words, very high maintenance. It may be fun to

listen to Al on this board but I live with an Al-like person and it

is pulling. I sympathize with Lahiri Mahasay when he rose his

voice to his wife who was incessantly going on about money. My

husband wanted more money and through meditation I discovered how

to obtain a very nice house, which we live in for free. That was

o.k. for a few years but then it was no good; I needed to do

more. I didn't want to enter the work force becuz it isn't for me,

as I said, it pulls at me. So, I went back to work. Then I went

into the woods and set about arranging how to make money without

being in the work force. So, I went to the bank and it had only

$100.00 left in it. I withdrew it and there was still a $100.00

bank balance left. It kept on with this. I told my husband who was

ecstatically elated and that was o.k. for awhile but then he became

discontent again. And for those of you who have never had any

experience with creating (as I've read your essays) I guess you

won't understand how the above story could be true. I look only

in my late 20's as I do a certain `thing' that keeps the body at

that age and that is still not happy for my husband. Other men

say I'm very hot and he is sometimes happy with me and more often

looking for something better. He is a very nice and kind person so

you see the pull is not for me. So now I'm arranging to leave.

I thought I could remain uninfluenced by it but it doesn't work that

way for me. I have no interest in marriage or this kind of

dualistic relationship " love " at all. I'm just venting and rambling

now about the things that cause this pull for me.

 

>

sam> >Hence, the wars, the head bashing and sadness.

>

stefan> It is all happening on its own accord. And if you forever

struggle

> straddling... what will it change?

 

Sam: Yes, it's all happening on it's own accord. And it is

happening by the accord of those who are playing at the dream. A

dream within a dream within a dream. But if the readers haven't

acknowledge creating anything in the dream time [not withstanding

the illusory nature of the `thing'] then they will never know by

what accord *It* is.

 

At times I find myself pulled out of that one state, which is

an all encompassing state.

I'm not talking about being angry or love here in this case. I'm

talking about the flow that encompasses it all. That's when it is

neither one nor the other but it just is, whatever is being

expressed by this moment. When i engage in a place of either

anger or love i have moved out of that flow state/all encompassing

and into a dual/separated sense and I'm more than aware of what

that is like. Being in the one or the other is the struggle.

Being in the All, in a body, and staying in the moment can be quite

a challenge when one is being pulled. I can't do it without

pulling back. Does it matter? Not really, although I have no

interest in the dualist-ish style dream time environment that is

prevalent around me in the same way others are. We are All without

struggle. That's when we know that is what we are and the

dualistic stuff drops, again, if you can function in that without

being affected by the environmental pull then, more power to ya.

 

Are you never aware of functioning in the dual state? Or are you

our transcended master who is no longer affected or

swayed/influenced by the dual sense attributed to humans? If

it is for you then maybe we should change the forums name to Stefan

rather than Nisargadatta becuz it may be more productive to interact

with a live Grecian than a dead Indian <wink,smile> Sincerely, if

you are what you elude to then I am grateful to interact with you.

If you aren't then I am equally grateful to interact with you as

with all on this forum.

 

Yes love is all and encompasses all and in the dual-esque nature of

humanity I have no interest in operating so dualistically. As

your fellow country man, Yani, sings: Love is All. (from the

Tribute c.d.)

When i engage in this dual/duel-esque way it isn't for me. It is

what I am and yet not. When I am operating (poor choice of

wording but I can't think of another one) in the non-dual-esque

state anger or love isn't an issue. Weather I use anger during

the day, or what others may perceive to be anger, is irrelevant.

When I operate in dual I know the difference. That is what I

meant by falling off the horse, so to speak. Where can I fall? It's

all me ! Sure it is. It's a look at It All from a different

angle. I have a preference (so sue me) I prefer to look from the

All angle and embrace it all. If I get pulled into a dualistic

view the **easiest* way for me to get back on the horse/ the angle

which I prefer, is to get up on the stirrup of acknowledging all

through love. Then there is no struggle at all. I've tried

acknowledging `All' through hate and, well, if the world enjoys the

view of violence, well, that's where that was/is heading-right

into hate. Like I say, functioning in that space is dualistic for me

and I've done that. The All swallows up the hate/love/dual and

yet when I'm pulled out off the horse/one/flow (again, if anyone

wants to elaborate on the aspect of states don't bother – I already

said I can't describe how it would best be said becuz it really

can't be said.) I have not had an easy time jumping up on the

horse without a stirrup. My preferred stirrup is love, and then

the all/flow swallows it all up so it is irrelevant about either

the love or the hate thing.

 

>

sam: > >Thanks Stefan for the good reminder to **me** to alert to

> >straddle the love dual rather than the hate dual.

>

stefan> As long as I preferred love from hate I found myself

entangled in

> senseless struggles.

 

 

Sam: you do prefer love from hate. I read it loud and clear in

your words. Are you trying to convince me that you don't? Are you

trying to pull one over on me like Pete by saying he doesn't

experience the feeling of irritation?

You, my dear friend Stefan, are still entangled in senseless

struggles, as are we all here. Disclosing the " sense " in the

senselessness is a sense of accepting. Once we accept we realize

that there is nothing to accept at all. Then your left with

examining your human role (if any) otherwise you really wouldn't be

occupying a physical body. The senseless struggle ends. [but does

the dualistic pull end? I don't know – not for me yet.]

Are you saying you never fall off of that grand horse your riding

and get pulled somewhat into the dualistic nature?

 

 

>

sam> >It's more productive for *me* than the other options. Love

absorbs

> hate and it disappears into that state of wonder which is begotten

> from the Emptiness.

>

> >It's easier for *me* to stay in non-dual (I use the

> >word easy very loosely becuze there is a continuous pulling from

all

> >sides and shift to non-dual is frequent) when the focus is on

the

> >love duality - points closer back to the core/source in a way

that

> >has less hate/anger stuff that acts as a quicksand. In other

> >words, love is a better tool than hate. Then it's all love eh?

>

stefan: > But maybe... if you go totally into hate, without holding

back... you

> will end up with the same result? How do you know? The crux is the

> chosing not the chosen. It is the attitude that you prefer one from

> the other that makes you a slave of duality. Letting everything be

> what it is... love be love, hate be hate... this gave me freedom.

 

Sam: see above explanation. Hate is just a dualistic state which

I've been there. One/flow swallows it up – is it – from a

different angle – which is what I term as – a twist.

 

>

sam: > >I needed this reminder. I must go and return some product

to a

> >sales woman who is like a she-wolf from hades. Fear of future

was

> >cropping up and with it was confrontation in roots of hatred. It

> >quickly was pulling at -me- and composure was being lost at the

> >prospect of the confrontation, finding my straddle off into the

> >anger/hatin'/resentment emotions.

>

 

 

stefan> It is understandable, you are afraid of losing composure.

You have

> chosen your ideal state to be composure and lovingness. But on the

> other hand: as long as you are desiring those states you are

entangled

> in the struggle. The real problem, that which causes the

suffering, is

> the struggling itself. All those emotional states are naturally

> flowing, they come... so they will go.

>

 

Sam: I don't " choose " my ideal state as love or composure. There

is really no ideal, obviously there are many people who also

don't " choose " it. There are also obviously many people that do, and

who project their ideal onto us by saying that we should act one

way over another. I grew up influenced by the latter to a high

degree. My dead mother would be outraged if she were here becuz

I'm talking in a way that she would say isn't becoming of a woman.

Oh yes, I've been influenced by the fear to perform a certain way

and with that came fear of losing composure. My mother is always

watching me in the rear view mirror anyways so I turn a deaf ear

and let her have her own crap.

 

I'm not desiring those states. After years of silence and

meditation thoughts have no place in me unless they point the way

as a transmitter. Then comes the pull and that's why I'm here on

this forum. That's what I meant by falling off the horse/one

flow – being pulled out of (the state which has no ideal) and

*All* swallowing it up (both the ideal and non-ideal – love/hate).

Then there is the struggle.

When I am " " functioning " " from All state (Ha! sounds like an

american life insurance company, for those of you who don't know

there is an insurance company called All State.) and yes we can

function from a state other than All, which is the dualistic state,

which sure, really isn't dual at all but an illusion of being dual,

but it doesn't stop the person from having their dualistic angle of

life – sorting shadows as Toombaru would call it. Therefore, if

I'm being pulled back into a sense of dualism (which is a welcome

to the Grand Illusion – as the old 70's rock band Styx would call

it) then I do recognize the sensation of operating in a hate or a

love. Nisargadatta described his situation very well when he

said that it is between these 2 places that he walks with some

difficulty. I can't find the exact phrase right now but I totally

understand where he was coming from when he said it.

 

 

Sam:> >Your reminder is to counter by straddling the love dual side,

which

> is quickly putting it all back into the flow state.

>

 

 

stefan: > Are you sure it works that way? My own reminder is:

acceptance. One

> day I started to accept and accept and accept... and everything

became

> vaster and vaster... and easier and easier...

 

sam: sure, as I said above, accept and accept until there is no

thing left to accept and you don't need to accept anymore. If you

ever fall off your horse that is always a good place to start to get

back up on the stirrup again. You don't ever fall off that mighty

trojan horse? <wink>

And what are you accepting? Hate. You accept, accept and accept

which is no other thing than --- guess what--- love. So, when your

climbing up on your horse through acceptance you are still only

climbing up by way of love. That's just one of the many definitions

of the word love. The difference between you and me is that I

know that's what I'm doing whereas you use a word acceptance

without knowing what it's doing. Does it matter? Who really cares

if it reminds you of *All.* Unless you don't want that. Then

that's o.k. too.

 

 

>

sam: > >This blue planet is quite the dual/duel and

> >being 'in source' removes the straddling to a dull roar yet when

I

> >fell off the horse it's good to be reminded which side to get

back

> >up on again.

>

 

 

stefan: > Why bother from which side? Once you sit on the top

again / or in

> source... it does not matter how you got there. Love takes care of

> itself.

>

 

sam: why bother from which side? I've walked the side of hate,

as I said in my above diatribe. Been there done that. No thanks.

I will share something with you. Hate/dark illusion has a very low

ceiling. Love has a higher ceiling. Again, All embraces it both

and can fold it all back into no thing. If you can jump right

into the All without a boost up then more power to you. I

sometimes can but not always. As one dead Indian said, Keep it

simple and do what you love, be where you love. I haven't kept my

life simple and have not been where I loved which is why I'm pulled

back into the dualish angle/perception/illusion. Which is also why

I have had to be reminded through this forum.

 

 

 

Stefan: > I thank you too, for your openness. I hope I did not shock

you with my

> objections... as I obviously have shocked others. I think it takes

a

> long time and effort and patience to come to a point where one can

> really relate to the other, verbally, on such a list. If you don't

> agree with what I have said, great... I don't expect that.

 

Sam: I understand where your coming from. It doesn't matter to me

if anyone agrees with me or not. I could care less. I don't have

any expectations of you one way or the other. Thanks again for

reminding me of a bit of nonsense that I needed to hear. Take care

now.

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Hi Sam,

 

puhh, you wrote a long posting :-)

 

I will not comment it sentence by sentence... but... thanks for

letting me know more about you. And good that you reminded me about

the all embracing nature of love, you are right. I have to explain

myself better... my experience was until now: when there was love and

hate and I rejected hate - it entered with even more power from the

back door. When this choosing faded I found that love was choosing me,

so to say.

 

I think I know what you mean with " pulling " . But imagine when there is

no resistance against the pulling... what will happen. When I accept

it, it comes and goes as a natural mechanism. It itself is seen as

part of the flow.

 

I also do not have an easy life (as you seem to guess :-))... and the

last few years have been really difficult but those experiences were

obviously necessary. The contentness I experience now seems to be

completely independent from what is happening to me " outside " . It is

hard to describe. I am unhappy when bad things happen, but the

unhappiness is only on the periphery. It is perceived as something

that comes and goes, like any emotion or like a flu.

 

You are talking about duality and non-duality. I cannot really relate

to that. It sounds like two different states, but you know yourself

that this cannot be since non-duality by its very definition cannot be

a state (opposed to another state). Here is just a stream of

experiencing. Here are often hundreds of different states within one

minute. Not to speak of days or weeks. This may sound weird, but I

believe it is quite common and ordinary.

 

Now tell me, why should someone make a " Stefan " - ? Nothing

is special about what I say. I am not a teacher, not a guru, not a

master. I have no recipy, my point of view could be again completely

different tomorrow. I try to be authentic when someone asks me about

" Stefan " on the " Nisargadatta " list. Thats all. And - as you probably

have realized - I am an adolescent rebel enjoying Disneyland.

 

BTW, I also could tell you some stories about " creating " . It all

works. But in my life the rejected parts came back to me like furies,

years later. This slowly, slowly made me humble towards fate.

 

Ok, enough for now

Love

Stefan

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