Guest guest Posted July 5, 2005 Report Share Posted July 5, 2005 At the ripe ago of 33, I was a very over educated but also a VERY hopelessly suicidal drug addict and alcoholic who recovered. I never could take credit for the recovery… something about a " higher power. " Then about five years ago, and 20 years later, I turned into UTTER JOY when I suddenly Realized that if I had nothing to do with the recovery then why should I take credit for being a drug-addict. This realization was some sort of awakening that SET ME FREE. I have never been the same. With this Freedom I don't have to take credit for anything because " I " have never done anything and I have never had any thoughts… and especially the last five years, I have never written anything. With this utter-freedom that is JOY " I " somehow do not take credit for ANYTHING. The more I realize that I have never written anything the funnier and more Joyful life gets with all this writing. And if I have never done anything, or thought anything, then why should I care what my mind thinks it thinks and its body does. I JUST DON'T CARE. With this JOY of UTTER indifference the old words " life and death " have no meanings except for this JOY that I am regardless of the meaningless words like " life " and " death. " And this total indifference to what my mind thinks it thinks and its body does is, today, NOW, this JOY I AM. Yes, this JOY that I AM makes me utterly insane because I think I would die laughing with this JOY should some expert ego go up to tell the likes of a Buddha, Jesus, or Ramana that they will never amount to anything until they get a job. And in this JOY I am/feel ONE with the UNIVERSE. I feel that I am the dreamer of the UNIVERSE and so I AM everything in the UNIVERSE. I AM ONE with Krishna, Arjuna, Buddha, Jesus and Hitler and also, yes, Saddam and Osama and even Ramana and also the devil. AGAIN I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING, like the previous paragraph, so what the heck do I care what it says or means. And if the words are " Laugh at or piss on everything that is sacred and holy to be Free " then what do I care about what these words say or mean because I am the UTTER Freedom and JOY of all words regardless of how are they are put together and with what four letters. I am this freedom and JOY of all words, letters, and I can laugh at the likes of four letter words because it is all just JOY called maya, MY dream. More recently, like last night, these thoughts come addictively out of NOTHING, the NOW, usually in the otherwise Silence or JOY of meditation. They come until these hands have to write to be free of these thoughts. This addiction to write is the same thoughts that made me think I was an addict and a drunk only to be a sober NOW. Only after these hands write can these eyes read what these words say. And usually these eyes read the words these hands write with UTTER DISBELIEF because the words are NOT this MIND – not even in my wildest dreams could these words have come from this mind and its body. So if " you " want to, then go right ahead and argue or give advise to these words – IT IS ALL just a part of the JOY and hilarious JOKE called maya, life, in which two imaginary egos have to argue and give each other all their expert advice over things that have never happened because, they, these egos, are imaginary; and also because of the UTTER SINGULARITY OF : " I AM THAT " and " Nothing Ever Happened " and " there is no doer " to make things happen.… there is only this LOVE that I AM. YOU ARE and ALL IS. -- NOW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2005 Report Share Posted July 5, 2005 Nisargadatta , " Gene Polotas " <semmin@e...> wrote: > At the ripe ago of 33, I was a very over educated but also a VERY > hopelessly suicidal drug addict and alcoholic who recovered. I never > could take credit for the recovery… something about a > " higher power. " > > Then about five years ago, and 20 years later, I turned into UTTER > JOY when I suddenly Realized that if I had nothing to do with the > recovery then why should I take credit for being a drug-addict. This > realization was some sort of awakening that SET ME FREE. I have > never been the same. > > With this Freedom I don't have to take credit for anything > because " I " have never done anything and I have never had > any thoughts… and especially the last five years, I have never > written anything. With this utter-freedom that is JOY " I " > somehow do not take credit for ANYTHING. > > The more I realize that I have never written anything the funnier and > more Joyful life gets with all this writing. > > And if I have never done anything, or thought anything, then why > should I care what my mind thinks it thinks and its body does. I JUST > DON'T CARE. With this JOY of UTTER indifference the old words > " life and death " have no meanings except for this JOY that I > am regardless of the meaningless words like " life " and > " death. " > > And this total indifference to what my mind thinks it thinks and its > body does is, today, NOW, this JOY I AM. > > Yes, this JOY that I AM makes me utterly insane because I think I > would die laughing with this JOY should some expert ego go up to > tell the likes of a Buddha, Jesus, or Ramana that they will never > amount to anything until they get a job. > > And in this JOY I am/feel ONE with the UNIVERSE. I feel that I am > the dreamer of the UNIVERSE and so I AM everything in the UNIVERSE. > I AM ONE with Krishna, Arjuna, Buddha, Jesus and Hitler and also, > yes, Saddam and Osama and even Ramana and also the devil. > > AGAIN I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING, like the previous paragraph, so > what the heck do I care what it says or means. And if the words > are " Laugh at or piss on everything that is sacred and holy to be > Free " then what do I care about what these words say or mean > because I am the UTTER Freedom and JOY of all words regardless of > how are they are put together and with what four letters. I am this > freedom and JOY of all words, letters, and I can laugh at the likes > of four letter words because it is all just JOY called maya, MY > dream. > > More recently, like last night, these thoughts come addictively out > of NOTHING, the NOW, usually in the otherwise Silence or JOY of > meditation. They come until these hands have to write to be free of > these thoughts. This addiction to write is the same thoughts that > made me think I was an addict and a drunk only to be a sober NOW. > > Only after these hands write can these eyes read what these words > say. And usually these eyes read the words these hands write with > UTTER DISBELIEF because the words are NOT this MIND – not even > in my wildest dreams could these words have come from this mind and > its body. > > So if " you " want to, then go right ahead and argue or give advise > to these words – IT IS ALL just a part of the JOY and hilarious > JOKE called maya, life, in which two imaginary egos have to argue > and give each other all their expert advice over things that have > never happened because, they, these egos, are imaginary; and also > because of the UTTER SINGULARITY OF : " I AM THAT " and " Nothing > Ever Happened " and " there is no doer " to make things > happen.… there is only this LOVE that I AM. YOU ARE and ALL IS. > > -- NOW Hi Gene, How very nice to here about such a relaxed state. Now! al. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2005 Report Share Posted July 5, 2005 Nisargadatta , " anders_lindman " <anders_lindman> wrote: > Nisargadatta , " Gene Polotas " <semmin@e...> wrote: > > At the ripe ago of 33, I was a very over educated but also a VERY > > hopelessly suicidal drug addict and alcoholic who recovered. I never > > could take credit for the recovery… something about a > > " higher power. " > > > > Then about five years ago, and 20 years later, I turned into UTTER > > JOY when I suddenly Realized that if I had nothing to do with the > > recovery then why should I take credit for being a drug-addict. This > > realization was some sort of awakening that SET ME FREE. I have > > never been the same. > > > > With this Freedom I don't have to take credit for anything > > because " I " have never done anything and I have never had > > any thoughts… and especially the last five years, I have never > > written anything. With this utter-freedom that is JOY " I " > > somehow do not take credit for ANYTHING. > > > > The more I realize that I have never written anything the funnier and > > more Joyful life gets with all this writing. > > > > And if I have never done anything, or thought anything, then why > > should I care what my mind thinks it thinks and its body does. I JUST > > DON'T CARE. With this JOY of UTTER indifference the old words > > " life and death " have no meanings except for this JOY that I > > am regardless of the meaningless words like " life " and > > " death. " > > > > And this total indifference to what my mind thinks it thinks and its > > body does is, today, NOW, this JOY I AM. > > > > Yes, this JOY that I AM makes me utterly insane because I think I > > would die laughing with this JOY should some expert ego go up to > > tell the likes of a Buddha, Jesus, or Ramana that they will never > > amount to anything until they get a job. > > > > And in this JOY I am/feel ONE with the UNIVERSE. I feel that I am > > the dreamer of the UNIVERSE and so I AM everything in the UNIVERSE. > > I AM ONE with Krishna, Arjuna, Buddha, Jesus and Hitler and also, > > yes, Saddam and Osama and even Ramana and also the devil. > > > > AGAIN I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING, like the previous paragraph, so > > what the heck do I care what it says or means. And if the words > > are " Laugh at or piss on everything that is sacred and holy to be > > Free " then what do I care about what these words say or mean > > because I am the UTTER Freedom and JOY of all words regardless of > > how are they are put together and with what four letters. I am this > > freedom and JOY of all words, letters, and I can laugh at the likes > > of four letter words because it is all just JOY called maya, MY > > dream. > > > > More recently, like last night, these thoughts come addictively out > > of NOTHING, the NOW, usually in the otherwise Silence or JOY of > > meditation. They come until these hands have to write to be free of > > these thoughts. This addiction to write is the same thoughts that > > made me think I was an addict and a drunk only to be a sober NOW. > > > > Only after these hands write can these eyes read what these words > > say. And usually these eyes read the words these hands write with > > UTTER DISBELIEF because the words are NOT this MIND – not even > > in my wildest dreams could these words have come from this mind and > > its body. > > > > So if " you " want to, then go right ahead and argue or give advise > > to these words – IT IS ALL just a part of the JOY and hilarious > > JOKE called maya, life, in which two imaginary egos have to argue > > and give each other all their expert advice over things that have > > never happened because, they, these egos, are imaginary; and also > > because of the UTTER SINGULARITY OF : " I AM THAT " and " Nothing > > Ever Happened " and " there is no doer " to make things > > happen.… there is only this LOVE that I AM. YOU ARE and ALL IS. > > > > -- NOW > > > Hi Gene, > > How very nice to here about such a relaxed state. Now! > > al. To hear* about... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2005 Report Share Posted July 5, 2005 Nisargadatta , " anders_lindman " <anders_lindman> wrote: > Nisargadatta , " anders_lindman " > <anders_lindman> wrote: > > Nisargadatta , " Gene Polotas " <semmin@e...> wrote: > > > At the ripe ago of 33, I was a very over educated but also a VERY > > > hopelessly suicidal drug addict and alcoholic who recovered. I never > > > could take credit for the recovery… something about a > > > " higher power. " > > > > > > Then about five years ago, and 20 years later, I turned into UTTER > > > JOY when I suddenly Realized that if I had nothing to do with the > > > recovery then why should I take credit for being a drug-addict. This > > > realization was some sort of awakening that SET ME FREE. I have > > > never been the same. > > > > > > With this Freedom I don't have to take credit for anything > > > because " I " have never done anything and I have never had > > > any thoughts… and especially the last five years, I have never > > > written anything. With this utter-freedom that is JOY " I " > > > somehow do not take credit for ANYTHING. > > > > > > The more I realize that I have never written anything the funnier and > > > more Joyful life gets with all this writing. > > > > > > And if I have never done anything, or thought anything, then why > > > should I care what my mind thinks it thinks and its body does. I JUST > > > DON'T CARE. With this JOY of UTTER indifference the old words > > > " life and death " have no meanings except for this JOY that I > > > am regardless of the meaningless words like " life " and > > > " death. " > > > > > > And this total indifference to what my mind thinks it thinks and its > > > body does is, today, NOW, this JOY I AM. > > > > > > Yes, this JOY that I AM makes me utterly insane because I think I > > > would die laughing with this JOY should some expert ego go up to > > > tell the likes of a Buddha, Jesus, or Ramana that they will never > > > amount to anything until they get a job. > > > > > > And in this JOY I am/feel ONE with the UNIVERSE. I feel that I am > > > the dreamer of the UNIVERSE and so I AM everything in the UNIVERSE. > > > I AM ONE with Krishna, Arjuna, Buddha, Jesus and Hitler and also, > > > yes, Saddam and Osama and even Ramana and also the devil. > > > > > > AGAIN I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING, like the previous paragraph, so > > > what the heck do I care what it says or means. And if the words > > > are " Laugh at or piss on everything that is sacred and holy to be > > > Free " then what do I care about what these words say or mean > > > because I am the UTTER Freedom and JOY of all words regardless of > > > how are they are put together and with what four letters. I am this > > > freedom and JOY of all words, letters, and I can laugh at the likes > > > of four letter words because it is all just JOY called maya, MY > > > dream. > > > > > > More recently, like last night, these thoughts come addictively out > > > of NOTHING, the NOW, usually in the otherwise Silence or JOY of > > > meditation. They come until these hands have to write to be free of > > > these thoughts. This addiction to write is the same thoughts that > > > made me think I was an addict and a drunk only to be a sober NOW. > > > > > > Only after these hands write can these eyes read what these words > > > say. And usually these eyes read the words these hands write with > > > UTTER DISBELIEF because the words are NOT this MIND – not even > > > in my wildest dreams could these words have come from this mind and > > > its body. > > > > > > So if " you " want to, then go right ahead and argue or give advise > > > to these words – IT IS ALL just a part of the JOY and hilarious > > > JOKE called maya, life, in which two imaginary egos have to argue > > > and give each other all their expert advice over things that have > > > never happened because, they, these egos, are imaginary; and also > > > because of the UTTER SINGULARITY OF : " I AM THAT " and " Nothing > > > Ever Happened " and " there is no doer " to make things > > > happen.… there is only this LOVE that I AM. YOU ARE and ALL IS. > > > > > > -- NOW > > > > > > Hi Gene, > > > > How very nice to here about such a relaxed state. Now! > > > > al. > > To hear* about... NO, the Self got it right the first time " here " -- ie NOW; we egos then take credit for what the Self writes and then screw it up with " hears. " I hope you can laugh as hard as I can LOVE gp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2005 Report Share Posted July 5, 2005 Nisargadatta , " Gene Polotas " <semmin@e...> wrote: > Nisargadatta , " anders_lindman " > <anders_lindman> wrote: > > Nisargadatta , " anders_lindman " > > <anders_lindman> wrote: > > > Nisargadatta , " Gene Polotas " <semmin@e...> > wrote: > > > > At the ripe ago of 33, I was a very over educated but also a > VERY > > > > hopelessly suicidal drug addict and alcoholic who recovered. I > never > > > > could take credit for the recovery… something about a > > > > " higher power. " > > > > > > > > Then about five years ago, and 20 years later, I turned into > UTTER > > > > JOY when I suddenly Realized that if I had nothing to do with > the > > > > recovery then why should I take credit for being a drug-addict. > This > > > > realization was some sort of awakening that SET ME FREE. I > have > > > > never been the same. > > > > > > > > With this Freedom I don't have to take credit for anything > > > > because " I " have never done anything and I have never had > > > > any thoughts… and especially the last five years, I have never > > > > written anything. With this utter-freedom that is JOY " I " > > > > somehow do not take credit for ANYTHING. > > > > > > > > The more I realize that I have never written anything the > funnier and > > > > more Joyful life gets with all this writing. > > > > > > > > And if I have never done anything, or thought anything, then > why > > > > should I care what my mind thinks it thinks and its body does. > I JUST > > > > DON'T CARE. With this JOY of UTTER indifference the old words > > > > " life and death " have no meanings except for this JOY that I > > > > am regardless of the meaningless words like " life " and > > > > " death. " > > > > > > > > And this total indifference to what my mind thinks it thinks > and its > > > > body does is, today, NOW, this JOY I AM. > > > > > > > > Yes, this JOY that I AM makes me utterly insane because I think > I > > > > would die laughing with this JOY should some expert ego go up > to > > > > tell the likes of a Buddha, Jesus, or Ramana that they will > never > > > > amount to anything until they get a job. > > > > > > > > And in this JOY I am/feel ONE with the UNIVERSE. I feel that I > am > > > > the dreamer of the UNIVERSE and so I AM everything in the > UNIVERSE. > > > > I AM ONE with Krishna, Arjuna, Buddha, Jesus and Hitler and > also, > > > > yes, Saddam and Osama and even Ramana and also the devil. > > > > > > > > AGAIN I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING, like the previous > paragraph, so > > > > what the heck do I care what it says or means. And if the > words > > > > are " Laugh at or piss on everything that is sacred and holy to > be > > > > Free " then what do I care about what these words say or mean > > > > because I am the UTTER Freedom and JOY of all words regardless > of > > > > how are they are put together and with what four letters. I am > this > > > > freedom and JOY of all words, letters, and I can laugh at the > likes > > > > of four letter words because it is all just JOY called maya, > MY > > > > dream. > > > > > > > > More recently, like last night, these thoughts come > addictively out > > > > of NOTHING, the NOW, usually in the otherwise Silence or JOY > of > > > > meditation. They come until these hands have to write to be > free of > > > > these thoughts. This addiction to write is the same thoughts > that > > > > made me think I was an addict and a drunk only to be a sober > NOW. > > > > > > > > Only after these hands write can these eyes read what these > words > > > > say. And usually these eyes read the words these hands write > with > > > > UTTER DISBELIEF because the words are NOT this MIND – not even > > > > in my wildest dreams could these words have come from this mind > and > > > > its body. > > > > > > > > So if " you " want to, then go right ahead and argue or give > advise > > > > to these words – IT IS ALL just a part of the JOY and hilarious > > > > JOKE called maya, life, in which two imaginary egos have to > argue > > > > and give each other all their expert advice over things that > have > > > > never happened because, they, these egos, are imaginary; and > also > > > > because of the UTTER SINGULARITY OF : " I AM THAT " and " Nothing > > > > Ever Happened " and " there is no doer " to make things > > > > happen.… there is only this LOVE that I AM. YOU ARE and ALL > IS. > > > > > > > > -- NOW > > > > > > > > > Hi Gene, > > > > > > How very nice to here about such a relaxed state. Now! > > > > > > al. > > > > To hear* about... > NO, the Self got it right the first time " here " -- ie NOW; we egos > then take credit for what the Self writes and then screw it up > with " hears. " > > I hope you can laugh as hard as I can > LOVE > gp Ok, here, then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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