Sushi III

[Guest guest]

A piece I enjoyed from Bo at NDS:

 

Tonight I lie in bed and suddenly I put some pieces together, I type

my ideas as fast as I could. The words below are nonlinear but they

are true to me.

 

Anybody who is spiritual is trying to escape from suffering. I feel

the more a person is interested in names, philosophy, theories,

techniques, the more " thick " the person is; building a layer of amour

around himself to prevent suffering from infiltrating. That person

cannot feel himself. That person looks outward to avoid inside of

himself where suffering lurks. The more a person is trying to control,

the more a person doesn't want to suffer….I believe enlightenment is a

" thin " phenomena. All spiritual person who haven't experience himself

fully, who haven't experience the abyss yet, is desperate, and

nervous, because life seeps in from every single pole into that person

amour. It is very hard work to avoid suffering when it is unavoidable.

 

I don't like to be with thick people because I don't like to be alone.

 

Suffering is inherit in survival, life. Life is about inequality,

imbalance, scarceness, unfairness, illogicalness, wholeness etc. Do

you think life is love only? Or awareness only? Illusion doesn't

exist? Illusion exists, Together with truth. Do you have to eat

another living being everyday to survive? Where is the love in that?

Life is composed of hate and love. As long I want to survive, to chase

and eat another living being who doesn't want to be eaten by me,

suffering stays. God and material exists and yet they don't.

 

Didn't a Hindu guy say something about a small piece of the whole

contains the whole?

 

If I want to survive I would have to suffer. That is good. I avoid

suffering because I want to survive more, that is not a bad thing. But

life is nonlinear, sometimes by avoiding suffering I suffer more.

 

When I prevent suffering, I feel an emptiness, a staticness, a

deadness, a desperation of being dead. I feel myself exhausted

everyday. I feel my anger, my desperation.

 

If luckily, I have the wisdom to somehow realize, or encounter a

fortunate circumstance to push me into a hopeless despair, a

tiredness, a hopeless awareness, to finally give up, and let death do

what it wants, I finally see something valuable…..

 

Life is death, there is no separation.

 

Buddha says desire is the problem. My escaping of suffering, yes, is

the problem.

 

When I allow pain, when I finally feel hell, I finally have energy, I

finally feel alive, beauty enters me, suffocation is gone, everything

is beautiful, joyous, painful but extremely happy. Sadomasochism is

not a word to describe it, wholeness is. I finally see my games. My

games are not bad but they are not good either.

 

Scott Peck knows what he is talking about. But he hasn't penetrated

into event horizon.

 

As long as I don't feel every part of myself, every word I say would

be a lie.

 

J Krishnamurti asks us to die everyday. He is correct. I encounter

death every night. It is pure chaos. 1+1=4923. I enter into right

brain. I give up my boundary. Death is non existence of order.

 

Kalil Gilbran is not alone. Enlightenment is still frightening to my

ego. I know that I am mad.

 

What is the method? I am sorry, there is no method.

 

Buddha was doing all sorts of nonsense for six years, and finally he

realizes he tried every nonsense, gave up, died and finally lives.

Like Jesus. Hence mindfulness. Don't abuse mindfulness.

 

Let the wind slap me in the face. I love the ride.

 

Nonduality is indescribable. Nameless. Enlightenment is nameless. I am

in enlightenment; I do not understand it, dumb, babbling, mad, sane,

and helpless. How do I tell others?

 

Don't try to understand what I say, there is no point. Melt into the

mystery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Pete.

Refreshingly honest.

 

Phil

 

 

 

In a message dated 11/19/2005 1:13:19 PM Pacific Standard Time,

Nisargadatta writes:

 

A piece I enjoyed from Bo at NDS:

 

Tonight I lie in bed and suddenly I put some pieces together, I type

my ideas as fast as I could. The words below are nonlinear but they

are true to me.

 

Anybody who is spiritual is trying to escape from suffering. I feel

the more a person is interested in names, philosophy, theories,

techniques, the more " thick " the person is; building a layer of amour

around himself to prevent suffering from infiltrating. That person

cannot feel himself. That person looks outward to avoid inside of

himself where suffering lurks. The more a person is trying to control,

the more a person doesn't want to suffer….I believe enlightenment is a

" thin " phenomena. All spiritual person who haven't experience himself

fully, who haven't experience the abyss yet, is desperate, and

nervous, because life seeps in from every single pole into that person

amour. It is very hard work to avoid suffering when it is unavoidable.

 

I don't like to be with thick people because I don't like to be alone.

 

Suffering is inherit in survival, life. Life is about inequality,

imbalance, scarceness, unfairness, illogicalness, wholeness etc. Do

you think life is love only? Or awareness only? Illusion doesn't

exist? Illusion exists, Together with truth. Do you have to eat

another living being everyday to survive? Where is the love in that?

Life is composed of hate and love. As long I want to survive, to chase

and eat another living being who doesn't want to be eaten by me,

suffering stays. God and material exists and yet they don't.

 

Didn't a Hindu guy say something about a small piece of the whole

contains the whole?

 

If I want to survive I would have to suffer. That is good. I avoid

suffering because I want to survive more, that is not a bad thing. But

life is nonlinear, sometimes by avoiding suffering I suffer more.

 

When I prevent suffering, I feel an emptiness, a staticness, a

deadness, a desperation of being dead. I feel myself exhausted

everyday. I feel my anger, my desperation.

 

If luckily, I have the wisdom to somehow realize, or encounter a

fortunate circumstance to push me into a hopeless despair, a

tiredness, a hopeless awareness, to finally give up, and let death do

what it wants, I finally see something valuable…..

 

Life is death, there is no separation.

 

Buddha says desire is the problem. My escaping of suffering, yes, is

the problem.

 

When I allow pain, when I finally feel hell, I finally have energy, I

finally feel alive, beauty enters me, suffocation is gone, everything

is beautiful, joyous, painful but extremely happy. Sadomasochism is

not a word to describe it, wholeness is. I finally see my games. My

games are not bad but they are not good either.

 

Scott Peck knows what he is talking about. But he hasn't penetrated

into event horizon.

 

As long as I don't feel every part of myself, every word I say would

be a lie.

 

J Krishnamurti asks us to die everyday. He is correct. I encounter

death every night. It is pure chaos. 1+1=4923. I enter into right

brain. I give up my boundary. Death is non existence of order.

 

Kalil Gilbran is not alone. Enlightenment is still frightening to my

ego. I know that I am mad.

 

What is the method? I am sorry, there is no method.

 

Buddha was doing all sorts of nonsense for six years, and finally he

realizes he tried every nonsense, gave up, died and finally lives.

Like Jesus. Hence mindfulness. Don't abuse mindfulness.

 

Let the wind slap me in the face. I love the ride.

 

Nonduality is indescribable. Nameless. Enlightenment is nameless. I am

in enlightenment; I do not understand it, dumb, babbling, mad, sane,

and helpless. How do I tell others?

 

Don't try to understand what I say, there is no point. Melt into the

mystery.