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Advice to the Battered ...(was: Pete- Shoelaces?)

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Sometimes on lists such as this someone on the

list will become very confrontive with another

person on the list. Sometimes people that initiate

such attacks are just trolls. But not always.

 

In any case, it seems to me that the best thing

to do when so attacked is to first not react,

but take some time to reflect. If one feels upset

by the attack then it is occasion to learn something

(even if the attack is a senseless troll attack).

The way I always put it to people is to suggest

thinking of the attacker as somone " you hired " to

push your button. Now that they have pushed your

button you can mentally thank them for pointing

out that indeed you have a sensitive button that

could use some defusing. With that you are effectively

done with the attacker. Process what you need to

process and consider the matter finished.

 

In the case of the " sensitive button " it is not

that you consider the attacker's accusation(s)

valid, but that they bother you somehow. There will

be other times when what the attacker says is

something that " part of you " can agree with. This

is a little different. What makes the attackers

attack so disturbing, in such a case,

 

 

Nisargadatta , Pete S <pedsie4@e...> wrote:

>

> In a message dated 12/23/2005 11:30:56 AM Pacific Standard Time,

> pedsie4@ writes:

>

> > P: Larry, don't get me wrong, I'm not judging

> > you or Anna, no more, than I'm judging a passerby

> > to whom I say, " Your shoelaces are untied. "

> >

>

> Larry: You are doing much more than commenting on shoelaces.

> If you can't see that, you are blind indeed.

>

>

> Pete: I'm pointing out to you that you are tripping

> over your mental shoelaces. If you don't want to see

> it, who is blind? I can't make you, and I don't want

> to force you. Bill is an artist too, and has a website,

> but few here know that because Bill knows that has

> no place here. Werner is an artist too, and never

> mentions that here. Matter of fact, half the people

> in this list and others are artists, or poets of one

> sort of another. Nothing wrong with that, the best

> mystics are poets, even if they don't write poems.

>

> It's the pushing, and selling, that points to untied

> shoelaces. Do you live in South Cal? Bill lives

> somewhere around here too. I live in San Diego.

>

>

>

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