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In a message dated 1/5/2006 5:56:32 AM Pacific Standard Time,

bigwaaba writes:

 

> I meditate every day for about a half hour. As soon as I finish, I

> >reach for a smoke, dammit.

 

The strange thing is the " dammit. " The sense that it is wrong and unwanted

and that you do it anyway. There is a herlplessness here, that one is a

victimn, helpless in the face of something stronger, the addiction. It seems

very

pathic to see someone helplessly caught in a raging river, and just carreid

along. That you've done something wrong to yourself that you can't break free

from. Those men in the coal mine after the explosion, transformed into

helplessness and waiting for others to keep them from dying. The world stands

outside and watches you struggle. You may perish or not depending on your

strength

and circumstances beyond your control. From the outside, it's just kinda

sad, and too bad.

 

Larry Epston

www.epston.com

 

 

Larry Epston

www.epston.com

 

 

 

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